Racism and its Ugly Shade, Hidden vs. Apparent

Hi all,

U know living here in U.S you learn about its history and the black civil rights moments and how people were treated cause of their color etc.

Now, even though, its not gone completely (not that it will be ever gone) people do raise their eyebrows and show anger/discomfort at this topic. It has stirred the conscious of many now. [talking about U.S]


But one thing I have realized after coming here is that, Indians-Desis in general are VERY Racist.

Be that in color or caste or status.

It is very strange , that, Desis look down upon people from their own land due to color , when they themselves are brown and not white.

Now lets take the Status, and Caste its also kind of racism [if not uglier] when people get discriminated due to this.

Unfortunately we do not see people reacting an differently when they encounter such things.
When people of higher caste/status turn away from those who are of lesser status (socially) like what Vasu does. Its something that has become a norm...

Why..

Because , its not apparent.

When the black "were being discriminated here" [still happens] people raised voices against it after a while because you can see it clearly with your eyes, a black , a white very clear difference

but about people in our Desi Lands?

Because its not so apparent as "black and white" type, people have not raised voices against it. And to this day continue in their own daily lives.


I find it disgusting when , people look for "gori" larkiyan to get married/girlfriend. They are attracted to that. The person can be the worst but the looks overcome that.

I have seen Parents encourage such behavior. The child who is more fair skinned gets better attention so much so that, when relatives come over they actually have the nerve to compare the kids due to their color.

This has happened to me I have 3 wonderful beautiful children, different shades of brown. I have seen people come up to me and say the youngest one is more gori or crap like that.

I ask them since when are they white? they are born to an Indian Girl with brown skin. Since when are they goray to begin with ? I personally cannot tolerate such nonsense

The racism classes start at home. Be that positive or negative
we have to remember children learn with Action more than Words.

How we treat our HouseKeepers [ I do not like calling them servants or maids]
Here the child learns about equality of status [money/caste/religion etc]

How we treat our children? Do we give them equal status?: How many parents have compared the intelligence of children? Oh why can't you be more like your brother see how intelligent he is.

Here the child learns about comparison of abilities. Should we discriminate someone just because he/she is lacking in some areas? It could be very much possible that the person who is little behind in calculations be an excellent designer.

How we treat our equals? Relatives etc.
How many times children hear their mothers gossiping about certain relative due to some worldly possession or comparison of houses/wealth clothing

last but not least and the most important

How we treat boys compared to girls?
ay! the worst worst worst comparison. I am a woman who believes that it is in the nature of the woman to take care of her young and her family. That is her immediate concern thus her focus should be / priority should be that. But that does not mean she should be less educated and less anything. There needs to be a balance set. But I totally disagree when boys are made to do certain things as this is a BOY thing and girls are made to do other things as its a girl thing.

[personally, I make my boys clean up more than girls lol]

Children learn about respect here.

I feel this happens more in Desi families than anywhere else. Not sure i could be wrong


We need to change our behavior as the Today's Generation and teach our children proper values.
God has created us all equal

Male-Female [both have different responsibilities but equal in sight of God]
With different colors
with different cultures

anywayzz sorry about the loooong post. But you see all of this clearly in the serials of today. naturally you see this around you as well.

We need to raise voices against such tyoe of attitude, we do not perhaps need a civil right moment but we do need to change our Tarbiyyah at home how we nurture our household and in turn raise generation that is more fair.

Oh wow Suchitra very well said!!!!

Sometimes when I see people of Asian origin(Since in UK all brown people are referred as Asians) raise such hue and cry about unfairness and racism and all that I feel why are they complaining?For example,when Celebrity Big Brother happened and when Shilpa Shetty was insulted(Which is def wrong)and when there was such angst in India on this,my thought-they should look in India first and then point fingers at others.People of high caste treat the lower class badly and still some of the people are not allowed into temples and all that.

I have 2 girls and the first Q everyone asked when I called them with the news was that 'Are they fair'?And some even had the audacity to ask me when I visited 'What,a girl again?Are you not going to try for a boy?@I simply replied NO!!!What can they do that the girls can't?

These issues never go away and if India wants to become a developed country all these issues need to be gone but alas,it won't!!

And people still look for gori bahus!That's a fact!The first thting they say'the girl is not fair'

Try for a boy!?
lol as if you have the ingredients to make boy and its just a matter of ok lets have a boy right now Wo hoo.

STUPID concept and the worst part is the one who wants you to have a boy more are women!?

I think this just exists in India,rather Asia!
People from the West are pretty comfortable with tanned skin,I think!
I heard many saying so..That the brown skin is absolutely adored there!
But,heyyy!!!India is improving as well..I mean look at Deepika Padukone,Bipasha Basu--All leading models and they all are tanned and people love them as much as they love an Aishwarya Rai or someone else!
So that's one good thing!😊

Originally posted by: Ashrozia

I think this just exists in India,rather Asia!
People from the West are pretty comfortable with tanned skin,I think!
I heard many saying so..That the brown skin is absolutely adored there!
But,heyyy!!!India is improving as well..I mean look at Deepika Padukone,Bipasha Basu--All leading models and they all are tanned and people love them as much as they love an Aishwarya Rai or someone else!
So that's one good thing!😊

Even, dream girl Hema Malini is dark complexioned I have heard. When someone tans, its said to be intentional...in marriage concept is so different...unfortunately

Hema Malini?😲
Really?
She looks so fairrrrr!!!!!
Her daughters are little tanned actually..But her..No way!😲

I am soooooooooooooooo glad suchitra you brought this topic up. Now it feels like we are discussing something, an issue related to bidaai, bidaai's real intention, its real message. And this is one of the saddest fact that still exists in the world, unfortunately.

This is a girls life:

When she's small & playing outside, the 1st thing somebody would tell her to go inside, "go inside, you would get dark, then nobody would marry you."

The next thing...stare at the girl's complexion and compare the shade of it with another girl's complexion, which is more fair, does the complexion match with the colour of milk? If it does, WOW for the girl, if it doesnt, boo for the girl.

And when she is dark, tell her to use fair and lovely, tell her that her complexion is "dirty" (DIRTY?!), tell her to use this & that.

It's just PLAIN sad. In our own country, we get discriminated for our colour? race? But those ppl are NEVER called racists. Nobody would point finger at them because discriminating us for our colour would seem "obvious" & "normal" for everybody. And the most ridiculous incident ever, some ppl expect you to become "fair" & white when you come back from a foreign country😳 Seriously WHAT IS IN THE BEAUTY AND COLOUR? where's the talk of personality?

And the sadder fact is that this world would never change. Some cheap ppl's mind would never change.

Originally posted by: Omshanti1111

Suchitra,👍🏼 very nice topic👏

actually, but unfortunately till many people believe in India that "Pehle darshandhari Pichhe gunbichari"...although , dark skinned girls are making their ways in different spheres of life, but about arranged marriage, the society still stays there, the "fair " girl always gets preference. As regards to marriage, our society needs to progress. A liing example was in Perfect bride show, I dont know who it was...I think Gaurav's mother taunted Vrinda or Suchitra being dark skinned. This is a reality and it needs to change.

I myself have a cousin, who is very dark, but her features are good, she is educated...but we are not able to find a suitable guy for her through an arranged marriage...

I remember yashdeep's mom said she was looking for a "fair" bahu. I think thats the 1st thing she said. I also think yashdeep's mom never liked gurpreet cuz of her complexion. That's y i wud never want parul to be with yashdeep. I just dnt like yash & his mom at all.

btw, dnt u guys think media a HUGE influence on the ppl & how they think about beauty? For example, the size 0 thing, & look at the songs for another example "gori gori gori gori chori chori" lol...& many other songs tht use the word "gori" to define beauty😕

Originally posted by: _-sHoNaa-_

It's just PLAIN sad. In our own country, we get discriminated for our colour? race? But those ppl are NEVER called racists. Nobody would point finger at them because discriminating us for our colour would seem "obvious" & "normal" for everybody. And the most ridiculous incident ever, some ppl expect you to become "fair" & white when you come back from a foreign country😳 Seriously WHAT IS IN THE BEAUTY AND COLOUR? where's the talk of personality?

And the sadder fact is that this world would never change. Some cheap ppl's mind would never change.




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Oh that's because they differentiate within their own 'Race'!!!😆