Hey guys
Am back...Sorry for taking so long for this one, considering the 3 and 4 were only a couple of hours apart... I guess this one has turned out a little longer... So don't mind.
Please comment and like... It feels awesome.
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Will she not take me back? Will she accept my apology when I find a way to? Or is it really over? Ahem looked at her walking away, as she left the room to get the cleaning stuff... No, She can't leave me.. I will die without her I know...But not just like that... I will die trying... She has to come back... She just has to. Ahem sat there with this resolve forming in his head, as he heard the sound of her payals fading... Like the sound mattered more to him then his own heartbeat.
Ahem waited and waited to hear the faint sound of her return, and the moment his ears picked up the noise he looked eagerly at the door... She entered silent as a ghost, except for her payals and bangles. He mentally thanked God that she wore them... cause had it not been for the sound they made, her silence would have killed him long ago. She came near the bed and looked at him.. This time her sadness masked behind her concern for him.
"Listen Ahemji.. Please keep your feet on the bed and lie down. I need to clean this first." Ahem did as he was told. His mind had gone blank by now... There was nothing left except Gopi... Nothing else.
She slowly came towards him and made him lie down. Her soft hands guiding his body to a comfortable position. She then put a blanket on him... She was about to get back to the task at hand when she felt him hold on to her hand. She turned to see him staring at her a little worried.
"Ahemji, Please rest for some time... It will be fine."
"You promise me that?"
"Ji?"
"Do you promise me that everything will be fine... Everything will be the way I want it to be?" Ahem looked at her with baited breath. You say it will be fine.. but do you mean it? Do you promise me that you did not mean what you said before... Promise me that you won't leave me... Please...
Gopi stared at him, amazed at the way he had asked her... Like her saying yes or no would change his entire life. The childish anxiety to get some re-assurance from her, seemed to flicker another ray of hope in her heart. But she squashed it instantly... He is upset. He wants to know whether I really meant what I said before... Whether I really will let him live his life the way he wanted to ...
"Of course Ahemji. I promise"
"Thanks Gopi." he squeezed her hand as he said that. Gopi again took her hand out of his and turned away. Ahem nearly sat up as she took a few steps away from him. I will die without her... I am sure. What do I do? He looked at her work, half sitting on the bed. Carefully she went about cleaning and clearing up... Picking up the larger pieces first and then carefully sweeping. Wiping off the blood a little too rigorously... Ahem could see the tears running down her cheeks as she tried to get rid of the blood stains... It was killing her. The sight of Ahem bleeding and his blood in the room, was the last straw for her. She had hurt him so much that there was nothing she could say or do to rectify it. Nothing.
Ahem teared up looking at her... he wanted to run over to her and hug her... never let her go. Kiss those tears away... those precious tears that flowed directly from the core of her beautiful soul... That she had wasted on him for the past year and a half and only now he was realising their worth. But he couldn't... There was too much in between them... To much to be mended. Will I be able to stay away from her for so long.
He sat there staring at her... dumbstruck at how strong she was... He noticed how she was covering up and suppressing her hiccups, the ones she always got when she cried... But yet, not once did her hands shake.. Not once did she stop... She went on cleaning and setting as many things right as she could. That's what she has done, ever since she stepped into the house... set things right. In the house, in my room, in my life... Carefully and patiently. And I... What have I done, ruined everything, crushed everything that came in my path... And she just took it all in... Not a single complaint ever escaped her lips and I...
He noticed her pick up the things and head towards the bathroom. He waited for her to come out. She looked at him the moment she did and sighed. I have to be strong... he is behaving like a child. "Ahemji." she said a little sternly this time as she walked towards him. "Please just lie down." she pushed him down again, carefully but with authority this time. "Just rest."
"Sorry Gopi." Ahem blurt out... Meaning to apologize for a lot more than disobeying her order to rest and realising instantly that it wasn't enough.
"Ji... No problem." Gopi didn't realize that he meant a lot more in that apology.
Ahem didn't sit up this time when she walked away but his gaze was on her till she left. Ahem sighed and closed his eyes, causing some fresh tears to leak through his eyes...
And there she was... Running amid the falling debris, Running away from him, GOPI! Gopi... stop... But she kept running, his heart pounding in his chest as he felt the disaster already seconds before it actually happened and then she turned when she heard his voice, accidently colliding with a bunch of logs... The false ceiling actually fell on her infront of his very eyes and his heart stopped. A scream escaping his lips before everything became silent... She lay there under large section of the ceiling... Lifeless.
Ahem was hyperventilating now... he tried to shake the images from his mind... And the scene changed...
Their hands separating as they wheeled her into the ICU... Ahem saw himself stand there helpless as they took her away from him... He saw himseld yell at her, beg her to get up...all the time dreading that she never will.
And again the scene changed... Making him squirm...
He saw her sitting on the dresser, crying alone in the dark of night, covering her mouth to suppress her sobs... He saw himself walk up from behind her and ask her what happened. Looking at him, broke the remaining strength she had and she ran over and hugged him... Holding on and letting her self break down... Only if I had hugged her back... Just once.. I could have.. but I didn't. She cried and cried and I just stood there... too shocked. Why didn't I hug her. He heard himself ask her and she realised what she was doing, she immediately took a step away and explained everything to him... Even then his hands itched to wipe those tears from her face... But he didn't.
The scene changed again...
He saw himself enter the room and saw her near the foot of the bed, picking up some notes and putting them in the bag... He saw himself charge at her and hold her hand almost bruising it. He heard her trying to explain and he heard himself over power her... Label her a thief and throw her out. He heard the door banging as he shut her out of his room... No.. No.
"No. No."
"Ahem?"
"Ahem dikra?"
He felt a warm hand on his forehead as he shook his head. He felt his body shaking slightly... "Gopi." "Gopi"
"Ahem dikra... Its me... Mom... Get up."
Ahem opened his eyes, when he realised he couldn't feel Gopi around him. He looked at his Mom bent over him... Tears in her eyes.. He sat up straight and looked around... Hetal was sitting on his right... but he didn't see Gopi anywhere.
"Gopi? ... Mom where is she? Where is Gopi?" he asked frenzied... his voice shaking, threatening to give away any second.
"Ahem Calm down... She is there... She has gone to bring Kadhaa for you.. You are having very high fever dikra... You were muttering something in your sleep.. But we couldn't understand... We are all so worried. Ahem dikra what has happened? Look at yourself... Since yesterday, you seemed upset but now.. Never in your medical history have you run such a high temperature. Doctor Saab was also shocked at your condition... He left just half an hour ago... looks like the injection he gave you worked..."
"Injection? Did Gopi see it? She is scared of injections."
Kokila looked at him wide-eyed... Not knowing what to say. Hetal looked at them both and tried to think of something to reassure Ahem that Gopi was fine. She understood that Ahem right now was not even realising how ill he was... For some reason he had only Gopi on his mind. She placed a hand on his shoulder and tried to re-assure him.
"Ahem...Gopi was scared of the injection they were giving you... but she is fine now... She has gone down to bring the Kadhaa and will be back any minute"
Ahem had his eyes fixed on the door... For some reason he couldn't hear anything clearly... Everything his mom and aunt said had been very faint, like they were sitting across the hall from him... There seemed to be an odd ringing in his ears... Then he saw her enter but didn't hear any sound as she walked towards him... Ahem began to panic now... No you can't take this away from me... it is all I have... No.
He sat up as she reached the bed and gave the Kadhaa to his mom. She was about to step back, when reached out and held her hand. She looked at him shocked, wondering what had happened... he had never ever held her when he knew others could see... And now suddenly infront of Maaji and Kakiji... They were just inches away.
Ahem on the other hand, was oblivious to the women around him... his entire focus on the bangles... He hadn't heard anything as he had stopped her. The ringing in his ears was still there. He pulled her hand towards himself and she toppled onto the bed, her body across his legs. He shook her hands near his face and breathed a sigh as he heard the all too familiar clinking... Yes, it was still there. He heaved a sigh and relaxed slightly. That's when he realised what he had just done... he reluctantly let go of her hand and Gopi immediately got up.
Kokila and Hetal stared at the duo... Their eyes darting from one to the other... Gopi too embarrassed was staring at the floor and Ahem momentarily relieved had leaned back and was staring at Gopi... Almost mooning at her... a little sad, a little happy. It was impossible to read the expression on his face as neither of them had ever seen it. Hetal looked at Kokila, who looked too overwhelmed and shocked to say anything. Kokila looked at Hetal and they realised that it would be better to leave. Hetal got up and so did Kokila...
"Gopi vau...Give this Kadhaa to Ahem ok?"
"Ji Maaji" she said without looking up.
"Lets go Kokila."
They left the room, leaving Ahem and Gopi alone. Gopi finally looked at him. He was tearing up again... What is wrong with him... What was he doing? Gopi looked at her bangles and Ahem followed her gaze. He could read the confusion on her face...
"I couldn't hear them..."
Gopi looked at him shocked. "Ji?"
"I couldn't hear them... And I got scared... It's all I have at the moment... You might not be talking to me... But they always talk to me.. When I couldn't hear them, I was scared that even they had turned away from me."
Gopi stood rooted to the spot. Did he really say this? The sound of my bangles is so important to him? What is he doing? Does he really think I am turning away from him? What does he want...?
"You."
"Ji?" Gopi blinked, confused... I didn't say any of that out loud did I?
"You...You are ok? They gave me an injection... Did that bother you?"
"Oh... No, Umm... I am not scared.. anymore... Of injections." she muttered.
"Good."
Ahem didn't know what else to say... she slowly moved towards the side table and picked up the glass and offered it to him.
"I don't want it."
"Ahemji.. You have to drink it."
"But..."
"Ahemji... Its not a choice... Drink it."
"No."
"You want me to force you?" Gopi was slowly getting irritated at his disregard for his health first the blood and now this. Ahemji can be a real child sometimes.
"If I say yes..."
"Fine." Gopi huffed. She moved closer to him and brought the glass to his lips... He looked at her and nearly smiled. He felt something inside him rise in hope... She might not trust me... But she loves me... All is not lost yet... I will get her back.. I am not going to let her get away this easily. He lowered his gaze and held her hand over the glass... slowly taking a sip..
He could feel her hand shaking slightly at his touch and that made him hold on to her even firmly. He looked at her as he drank, not even noticing the taste of the liquid... She had a blush on her face and she was trying very hard not to look at him. He sensed that she was forcing her self to look away and not see the truth this time... after having her hopes squashed so many times... She was scared to hope again.
"I am done. You happy now.. I drank the whole thing... What do I do next?" he said, a little normalcy returning to his voice... Her love was his strength and he was going to cling on to it in this fight. He slowly left her hand and she retracted immediately.. Taking a few steps away, flustered.
"Woh... Just rest. I have some work in the kitchen... Please sleep."
"Ok."
Gopi turned away and his eyes followed her. The moment she left, he reached over to the bedside table and picked up her photo... Clutching it to his chest, he lay down and closed his eyes. Not sleeping but praying to her Kanhaji to give him a chance at this...
To prove to her that he loved her... He was now sure that was all that was needed to set things right.
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Love,
Aish
Edited by Aish3003 - 13 years ago
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