He paced the length of his room. Nostrils flaring. He could not control himself. His room was in a complete mess. Broken furniture, scattered clothes, shattered glass.
The cluster in his mind was completely clear; he knew once and for all who he loved. This was the lady who had bestowed unconditional love to all around her. She had endured all that was thrown to her.
She had not complained when on the first night of their marriage, he chose to sleep without saying a single word to her. She had not complained when he had slapped her. She had not complained when he refused to share a room with her. She had not complained when after Kinjal's wedding, he had thrown her out of his life and house only to bring her back because he was too coward to tell his Grandma the truth about his married life. She did not complain when she was forced to take her vows back. She did not complain about the numerous other insults and pain he had given her. "GOD WHY DID SHE NOT COMPLAIN THEN?? WHY WHY GOD WHY?" he repeatedly asked this question over and over and over again.
He remembered clearly how much he hated her. Hate was an understatement. It was more than hate. He felt a sense of repulsion each time he saw her. How everything she did seemed a faade. He hated it when she wanted to study. He felt she was an absolute Idiot. The Gawar will remain a Gawar all her life he kept telling himself.
However something snapped in him that night when she hugged him, cried and begged like a small child that she wanted to study. He wanted to push her away and shout loud as he usually did. But he could not bring himself to do it. He soothed her and told her he would set everything right. He could not answer himself why he did what he did.
A small smile sprung on his lips. That night was the first day of a new life for him. He took responsibility of the Gawar. Wow it was a pleasure teaching her. He actually enjoyed being her GURU. He loved coming back home. He did not realize that he had started enjoying spending time with her. She had slowly become an integral part of his life.
Then came a time when he felt lonely when she went to her Mami's house for a night? He did not understand why she ignored him when his mother punished him for not concentrating on his work. He did not understand why after Holi she had withdrawn into a shell. This made him want her even more.
And now to make matter worse he met his ex out of the blue. In his confusion, he screamed at her once again. He blamed her one more time for making his life a living hell. He told her to get lost and to leave him alone. "GOD WHY COULD I NOT CONTROL MY TEMPER? WHY DID I SHOUT AT HER AGAIN? GOD WHY DID YOU NOT STOP ME?"
It was too late; she had not shown her face the next day and the day after. On the third day he received a letter from her. She told him that she loved him but she freed him of a loveless marriage. She informed him that she had decided to pursue her studies and Maaji and the family had also agreed to her leaving the house. She would shift to Banaras and stay at women's hostel and complete her education there. She would appreciate the financial help of the Modi family until she graduated and found a job. She would pay back every penny of what the Modi family would spend on her maintenance until she graduated. She signed off the letter as GOPI.
This left him speechless. The last two days he had spent his time on self-reflection and finally realized that it was GOPI and only GOPI who could complete him. He had already planned on a beautiful candle light dinner to propose to her. The short letter from Gopi jolted him. A candle light dinner was too superficial to show his selfless wife of what he meant to her.
Yes this is the only way he could prove to her that he truly loved her and could go to any length show his repentance. The family would have to accept his decision. They had no other choice.
The next day the whole family was assembled in the Mandir. Gopi had draped the Pallu over her head. Ahem joined the family and Gopi tried to make a quick exit. Ahem stopped her with a gentle, requesting tone. Her heart melted thinking that another two days before her departure and hence she should not make her Ahemji, more angry than he already is.
He addressed the whole family. I have tried being a good son, a good nephew, a good brother, a very good businessman, but I have failed miserably as a husband. I urge you my family to support me in rectifying this mistake in my life. Mom, Kaki, Papa, Kaka, Jigar, Baa ' all of you please help me and stop Gopi from leaving our home.
Today I confess in front of all of you that I love GOPI with all my heart. I may have loved Anita at some juncture of my life, but that moment has passed and now she means nothing to me. Yes I love and accept Gopi for who she is. I know I have wronged her in more than one way, and apologizing is not enough. I want to repent. Will you my family support me in my repentance? I beg you all to help me. He went to each of his family member and joined his hands and asked them to support him in his decision. It was a tearful reunion of the family as they had got their Aham and Gopi back.
Then he turned his full attention to his GOPI. He started :
My dear Gopi, I have tortured you, physically and emotionally and treated you unfairly on the assumption that you were a Gawar. How wrong was I. You are a very intelligent person and have a very beautiful heart. I wish I had seen this before.
Even if you forgive me I will not forgive myself so easily. I have made a decision and hope you will endorse it too. I would like to adopt an orphan female child. I want to give her a beautiful life along with a beautiful mother who will nurture her. She will be the daughter of Ahem Parag Modi and Gopi Ahem Modi. I cannot undo the pain that I have given you, but if I can improve the life of another unfortunate soul, I will be able to repent.
The family was speechless. They knew to change Aham's mind was impossible. Baa broke the silence and walked up to Gopi and Aham and took addressed them together. She asked Aham to think over it a thousand times before making a decision regarding GOPI and the adoption. Ahem held Baa's had and assured her that he had this was the only way he could redeem himself and feel capable of Gopi's love.
Epilogue
22 Years Later:
Radha Ahem Modi graduated today. She loves her adopted parents to the world's end. Nothing is hidden from her. There have been various proposals for her, but she want to complete her masters in literature before she decides to get married. Her parents respect her decision. Garv the biological son of Gopi and Ahem is sixteen. Radha and Garv share a strong bond.
Gopi suffered in the initial days of her marriage, however Ahem gave her and the family so much love that all was forgotten. Now all Gopi and Ahem have is love and only love.
Kumkum Bhagya
Anupamaa
