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10 years of Phantom
great write-up.loved the way ahem just lost it.
Hey Tangam, I liked your version of Koki and Ahem's conversation better than Mine. I read this last night and thought why didn't I think of this? I loved your OS. You are a great writer, and hope to see more and more from you.
Liked the OS...the dynamics of Ahem & Koki at the best...
Ahem finally lets himself to be taken care by Gopi when he needs her the most !!!!
Dumbstruck Kokila sat on the bed, her knees had gone weak and were on the verge of giving way, she felt light headed, she could not believe this was her Ahem. Her son, her pride and joy, he was her every reason for live... or was he?
She barely registered what he was saying now, his tone seemed to have changed, but it did not matter what was said was said, she watched him stand up and leave, his movements wooden, yet Kokila did not have the energy nor the desire to stop him.
Ahem's words had sliced deep, her body had gone numb with pain, this hurt more, much more than Kinjal's betrayal, than her husbands inadequacy or even all of her childhood taunts. Ahem's words reeled in her head, she kept replaying the scene and it seemed so surreal because she felt like she was standing outside of herself watching mother and son confront each other.
"Kokila" "Kokila" Parag called louder. She just looked up at him, so used to the condescending look she gave him Parag was nonplussed by the vacant look in his wife's eyes. "Are you ok? Is anything wrong?" "Huh no, just about to say my prayers, you need anything?" Parag did not know what to make of his wife but put it down to fatigue and wished her good night and retired for the night. As for Kokila she lay down staring up at the ceiling, sleep escaping her, eyes wide opened her mind too was strangely silent.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gopi walked into their room to see Ahem put on his watch and comb his hair. Giving himself a final once over, he turned seeing her at the door, he smiled and wished her a good morning. "How is your head ache?" "The massage helped, Thank you" "It is almost prayer time, will you be coming down?" "Yes lets go"
Ahem slowly approached the Mandir, all the family was there already, he tentatively glanced at his mother, she barely acknowledged him. She must be hurt he thought of course she was hurt what was he thinking, what had come over him to lash out at her like that. "Gopi why don't you do the puja with Ahem" Baa said. Gopi moved forward, Ahem quickly followed taking the weight of the tray on himself and doing most of the ritual while she sang and stood by her while she offered it to everyone, again his mother seemed to move mechanically with a silence that was so unlike her.
At breakfast Kokila was quiet even baa noticed and commented on this. "Mom are you okay"? Kokila did not respond but what bothered Ahem was that she did not even give her normal glare. In fact Kokila remained emotionless and when breakfast was done she stood up and said "Mota Bhabi I will be up in my room" "Mom are you okay? Should I call the doctor?" Mota bhabi I am a bit tired I am going to rest up in my room" saying that she turned and walked toward her room leaving behind a bewildered Hetal and a hurt Ahem.
Gopi had missed this exchange as she was in the kitchen and when she came to the room to see if Ahem was ready to leave for the day she was met by a preoccupied Ahem who barely registered her presence and walked out of the room phone and bag in hand. Gopi was a bit taken aback but put it down to work and proceeded to her maaji's room, kakiji had said that maaji was not well she would go and see if there was something she could do, maaji always liked her head massages. When Gopi entered the room Kokila was reading her Gita deep in thought, not wanting to disturb her Gopi went back to her room thinking it had been a strange day today. Breakfast had been a very sombre affair, even Raashi bhen had hardly said good morning to her.
It was late, almost 9pm and Ahem was still busy discussing last minute details with his Kaka and Jiger. Ahem hoped Gopi had not fallen asleep he needed to talk to her as he would be away for the next three weeks. "Well that should wrap it up, you boys should be able to handle things" said Chirag. The brothers nodded and wished him good night while gathering up their paper work. Chirag walked to his room he had not given Kokila's request much thought, but now seeing all of them strangely preoccupied wondered if he should do more than stand on the sidelines like he normally did. He would talk to Hetal and get her opinion on this.
"Good night Bhai, I should be ready by 8.30am tomorrow" "yes Jiger the flight is at 9.30 so that gives us plenty of time" the brothers walked together up the stairs in silence each in their own world.
Raashi had been strangely quiet this last week. She had not made any advances; she had not even said sorry or pushed herself on him. She had kept her distance. Jiger did not know what to make of this. He wondered what she was up to now. This was so frustrating and he was glad to be getting away. He walked into his room deciding to pack his bag thankfully Raashi had not offered any of her so called help.
Gopi had finished packing Ahem's bag. The day after his break down Ahem had gone back to being his normal self, no that was not right Ahemji was quiet, deep in thought, absent minded almost. He was normally a reserved person, but there was a difference and Gopi could not put her finger to it. Was he regretting leaning on her for comfort. Was he angry at her, or worse himself? He had told her he was going away on business with devarji; he would be away for three weeks. She had looked at him in surprised but he did not seem to notice. These days he did not seem to give her the attention he had been giving her, oh he was attentive with her health but only that. Gopi felt a strange fear grip her. Had she misinterpreted again? Oh Khanaji please be my strength she sent up a silent prayer and ordered her mind not to think the worst but she could not help the small tremor that was overtaking her body and the tears that burnt her eyes.
Ahem found Gopi sitting on a chair wringing her hands together deep in thought, his bags were packed neatly and left open on the bed for him to put in last minute files. Ahem walked in and put packed in his paper work and turned around to see that Gopi had not moved, she had not even registered his presence, concern immediately over took him, he had not been paying much attention to her, preoccupied by his own guilt regarding his mother and the myriad of emotions that were always at bay, not to mention the project at hand and all the other ones that he was leaving behind. He felt like pre menopausal women, with multiple mood swings running hot and cold and for the unemotional, in control man that he was, this had been very disconcerting to say the least.
He pulled up the other chair in front of her and took her hands firmly in his giving it a tine squeeze. Startles Gopi looked up to find Ahem seated right in front of her, her lips quivered involuntarily. "Kya huwa Gopi? Tum teek ho?" She did not know what to say, where to begin, slowly a lone tear slipped out. "Gopi!" Ahem at once reached out to wipe the tear but Gopi held his wrist. "Ahemji have I done something wrong? maaf kardhijiye please mere wajese..."Ssshe Gopi why would you do that? You have not done anything wrong. What gave you the idea?" Had his mom told her something "Mom ne kuch kya" Nei Ahemji, in fact maaji has been praying a lot, like you she has been very quiet, so I thought maybe you...err may be you were not happy with me and since I am maaji's" she trailed o Ahem new exactly what she meant had he not thrown what he had thought as her shortcoming in his moms face so many times before. Ahem mentally slapped himself. He had been so preoccupied with all of his thoughts that he had virtually ignored Gopi which led her to believe he was angry with her. Good going Ahem you have managed to alienate and hurt two of you most dearest ... wait a minute had he really come to think of Gopi that way as close as his mom, is that why he hurt his mom, because he thought she was trying to put distance between them. Was his mom for some reason insecure oh lord will the questions never seize? Would he ever get the answers he so needs.
Seeing Ahem's expressions Gopi stopped talking she could not make out what was on his mind. He lifted his hand to her face slightly cupping her cheek he wiped her tear with his thumb. "Gopi I am not angry with you, and I am very happy with you, I'm so sorry if I made you feel that way, it is just that I have been preoccupied with all the preparations for this trip." She nodded and smiled shyly at them and they held each other's gaze for what seemed a long time. Ahem was about to stand up when Gopi grabbed his hands and said "Ahemji I am going to miss you" and once she had voiced this aloud, her one big fear, tears that had threatened to come brimmed and fell over, she cried for her fear of missing him along with all of the fathomless many fears she had. Ahem was taken aback, she had voiced his own feelings, feelings he was unable to grapple with. He was not sure how to comfort her for he was not sure if his words would even begin to comfort himself. Ahem just sat back down and bought her hands to his lips and pressed into them. They sat like that for a while and when Gopi was able to collect herself, she untangled her hands from him and went to the washroom. When she came out Ahem had cleared the bed and pulled down the covers for her. He wordlessly walked over to her and helped her in and covered her before going to washroom himself.
Just before settling in for the night looked over to see if Gopi was alright. She had turned away from him; he had a feeling she was not asleep. He walked over to the other side and sat by the head board, he tentatively placed his hand on her forehead and moved aside stray strand of hair that seemed to be falling into her eyes. Gopi looked up at him, her eyes seemed to be pleading with him but he was not sure what they wanted, and Gopi had retreated back into her nervous self unsure of what to say.
"Gopi we can talk to each other every day. I promise I will call you, maybe we should make a time, I will call you just before bed time that way we can catch up on the day and if you need anything during the day just text me ok. She simply nodded but there was a faint flicker of a smile. She then very quietly whispered "Ahemji will you stay with me till I fall asleep." He smiled nodded and ran his palm slowly over her eyes "so jao"
Ahem walk up to his alarm and light seeping into the room, he had fallen asleep on the bed and it seemed Gopi had covered him before leaving the room. They had to be leaving today, he quickly got up to get ready, thinking of last night's events. After breakfast Baa said "since Ahem and Jigger are going away for a while why don't we do their thilaks." Hetal agreed and said 'chal Gopi, Rashi get the trays. The two girls silently walked side by side got things ready and walked back to where Ahem and Jiger stood with the family ready to take their leave. Gopi went and stood in front Ahem. Raashi walked over to Hetal and offered the tray to her. Hetal just smiled and said "No beta you should do it." While baa and Chirag nodded their approval. She hesitatingly stood in front of Jiger looking down afraid to meet his eyes, afraid of the loathing she would see there. She thought to herself fate; she was where Gopi had been a year ago. She had gloated then, yet Gopi seemed more concerned about her. Yes fate was to blame and fate she had bought upon herself.
Ahem smiled at Gopi moved his hair back with his right hand and bent a little further so she would not have to lift her arm that high and with his other hand supported the tray that she was holding. Gopi marked his forehead with her thumb lingering there for just a second extra before she finished with the rest of the ritual.
Jiger gritted his teeth and reluctantly bent forward, he felt Raashi's hand shake and looked up to see if he could gauge what she was thinking but she had her eyes diverted, taking this to be another one of her games Jiger straightened himself up angry at himself once again for wanting to believe.
Ahem had taken blessings from his elders, but his mother had not acknowledged him. He yearned for her normal fire, her intense blessings for his success. He stood at the door Gopi beside him as he sadly watched his mother, whole heartedly bless his brother. Sensing his mood Gopi lightly touched his arm in reassurance, he smiled a small but sad smile down at her.
Having wished his elders, Jiger walked to the door glancing at Raashi who again avoided his eyes, he felt his anger rise like bile in his throat and the tikka she had placed burn into his forehead, he was at the door his back to his family angrily he raised his hand to rub it off just to be stopped by a small hand. "please don't Devarji. I know your feelings for Raashi bhen and though she placed them there they are Takuriji's blessings, all our prayers for your good luck. Don't let your anger insult your God." He smile weakly at his bhabhi ashamed of what he was about to do, for he knew she spoke the truth. "Thank You bhabhi for saving me from my self, take care of yourself"
The small incident took Ahem back to a time where he had done the same, when he had wiped of the tilak he so lovingly wore today. The hurt in her eyes that day, he felt a lump in his throat. His lovely, caring, fragile wife, who he had insulted so many times for her illiteracy today, had proven to Ahem that she had wisdom beyond her years. She, unknown even to herself had given her husband Ahem Modi a lesson in humility.
Gopi waved to the men and turned indoors once the car had turned the corner, Meethi was leading Baa to her room, Kaaki had gone to the kitchen, her maaji and Raashi ben remained each lost in their own thoughts. She was not sure what had happened but they both seemed unnaturally quiet they had been so for more than a week. She knew something was troubling them and sent up a silent prayer Kannaji please give me strength to help my family. Help me to find their peace.
to be cont'd...
Kumkum Bhagya
Tu Dhadkan Main Dil
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
