new ff.SABKI BAARATEIN AAYI ch 4 updt pg 2

arista_pooh thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#1
hey guyz

ummm wt to say i dont knw how one goes abt writing a ff . bt i wud lke to really try sth. that goes with saying if u agree. its an unplanned attempt a first attempt n if its too weird forgive me ...

so when i woke up today i thought y not write sth just for the heck of it while i was religiously waiting for my beloved writers shaina 😊kristin,😊 tinkerbell😊, nadia 😊, nazmaJ😊etc to update their ffs. so if its not up to d mark plz tell me to discontinue anytym... alll comments +ve or -ve are invited.Also if its not plagarism i wud lke to title my ff sabki baaratein aayi so here i begin

Part 1

It was early morning. A group of young frnds aged 22 n 23had gathered together n were whispering excitedly.

Seemed they were planning something exciting. A beautiful girl dressed in her white nightdress was saying "bt wt will we do abt gia di?" A young handsome guy puts his arm abt her shoulders n said "relax kim sweethrt n leave it to our geek". "oh hello!!! nitesh who is d geek? im a hunk. right sweetheart? karan turned to a cute girl with freckles. sahara rolled her eyes and hit him playfully. ofcoz u r a geek" (karan pulled a face) "a hunky geek ,and most importantly my hunky geek"'' the group laughed''

Kim got serious "enuf yaar'. Think abt the problem. Wt do we do abt gia di.u knw na how she is. I want to surprise her today. god knws y she doesn't celebrate much. ok lets think. Hmmm. Lets all go to the kanha temple b4 gia di . get out all our instruments and greet her with our version of the aarti she sings daily."

Karan:" She'll b happy that finally we hv learned at least sth religious which she continuously drills into our minds apart 4m our funky music n den'''"

"n den kidnap her n ask her to spend d entire day wid us 'no excuses dis tym'.. hmmm? " nitesh butted in.

Sahara" ew kidnap yay n fnally d surprise party dat our parents will hv arranged by then. Oh yes today nobody can save gia di ' today she has to spend the entire day wid us doing wt we like as her punishment for being away from us for so long.she has come after full 1 yr in theUS getting her recordings done "

Kim: Chup sahara. I know. we all miss her bt we hv to share at least a part of her wid the world.dat gift of hers shud reach all or it will be an injustice.

Karan:Oh yes her voice that raises goosebumps on skin, makes u traverse the unknown depths of one's soul'. God! I wish she sings her song for us today'. D emotions, d pain her voice carries just fills up some void in the soul doesnt it?

Nitesh:"oh shut up geek. Its her b'day today so no philosophy only party today' I wish we cud tell the world that the worldwide famous g.a. krishna is our gia di "

Sahara : hmmm gia di is the bestest bt she is right or the world will intrude on every aspect of our lives.n none of us wants that 4 di.

Everyone fell silent.

Nitesh"wt yaar bas lets go nahin to di will reach b4 us n poora din we hv to njoy right".

Everone gets ready in traditional clothes. kim and sahara wear salwar kameez in gia di's fav colors

pink n green respectively while nitesh and karan tried to match their girls colors in their kurta pajamas. Karan took his flute sahara her sitar. nitesh had taken his tabla n kim took her harmonium. Today they were going to make sure their gia di was pleasantly surprised as in the yr apart these 4 brats had trained in classical music to add to their repertoire of music'..of which gia di was their inspiration...



All get seated in their open black jeep. kim says "here we go. gia di just wait n njoy today" they high five each other and yell 1 2 hey you 3 4 lets go" n leave for the krishna temple.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hope u guys like my effort.😊HAPPY READING to all the readers.HAPPY WRITING to all the writers and HAPPY COMMENTING to all the critics.

part 1 and 2 pg 1

part 3 ans part 4 pg 2

Edited by arista_pooh - 13 years ago

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Ichangedit thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#2
Hi dear😃

I like the start of your FF!!! So Gia is a famous singer and her friends want to surprise her and kidnap her 😆 lets see how they go about that task. Please continue soon and sent me a pm so that I don't miss it
arista_pooh thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#3

Part 2

In another part of the same city delhi stood a house looking as glum and lifeless as the morning looked beautiful and fresh. Two cars approached the house and stopped. Two middle aged women and men and a young couple with a 2 year old girl stepped out of them. The elders looked at the house and sighed."mummy ji ,kaki ji you were right even today ahem''"spoke the young woman carrying the child."haan rashi dikri yes even today he has not been able to forget her"spoke the cuter and spectacled hetal.

The other woman looked on helplessly "mota bhabhi mera ahem why ? why is he doing this?all of us havent been able to forget the tragedy bt ahem when will he escape from his self made prison of guilt. You see even today after five years of her death he wants to be alone on her death anniversary. He doesn't want us to comfort him. Anyways I'll go get him and then we can leave for the krishna temple I have arranged for a puja b4 the langar to the orphans. ".

." theek che kokila saaru.abhi tum ahem ke paas jaao."

Kokila modi went up the stairs and opened a room. It was dark, the curtains pulled close to not let a single ray of hope enter but she could make out a lone figure sitting there. She went n drew the curtains back. Even with the immediate light entering and filling the room the lone figure did nothing but stare continuously at the wall. Kokila's eyes teared up and she sent a silent prayer'hey krishna bhagwan give him some hope ' . she silently walked out of the room she knew ahem would never forgive her for seeing him in this devastated state. She composed herself and called loudly "ahem ahem' just to give him a warning counted to five and again called loudly ahem ahem dikra n opened the door once again.

The sight that greeted her now was entirely different but she wasn't surprised. Her ahem was back to his worldly facade of a dedicated, occupied, successful and hard hearted businessman. Although whom he thought he was fooling apart from the world he only knew. His entire family was aware of his grief beneath his mask but seldom spoke to him about it.Her ahem hated any kind of weakness. The thought of showing the world what he felt was anathema to him .but he even included his family in the figure of 'others' not letting anyone into his grief. She sighed silently."ahem"."ji mom"ahem looked up from the files on his working table.

Her son. She remembered his lean muscular frame which was now still strong but his face oh krishna his facial features had become angular lending harshness to his worldly persona. "ahem get ready we have to go to the krishna temple today for the puja ".ahem averted his eyes looked at the wall secretly and back to kokila not looking in her eyes."yes mom I'll come within ten minutes". Kokila shook her head internally walked upto ahem and hugged him tightly giving him strength . ahem hugged her back . mother and son each in their own silent way expressed their grief and comforted each other. Kokila kissed his cheek and blessed him looked at the wall sent a silent prayer and walked out.

Ahem went next to the wall and looked at her picture. He remembered her beauty, her innocence, her exuberance,her love for the simple things in life. He traced his fingers over her head, her eyes, her face her cheeks, her lips and closed his eyes.A lone tear escaped his eyes "I love you. I'm sorry I was too late I love you n forever will love you. Forgive me gopi"''''''''''''''''.

Edited by arista_pooh - 13 years ago
MereMahiyaa. thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#4
Very nice Update Cant wait to read the next part!
Kavya.S thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#5
nice ff...liked both the parts a lot
cant wait for the next one
Edited by sks21 - 13 years ago
arista_pooh thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#6

Part 3

At the krishna temple at around 6 am a small crowd had gathered in the mandap. People were looking at the four youngsters who had made a makeshift mehfil in front of the radha krishna idol. The tabla, harmonium flute and sitar lay on the small stage made with matresses and decorated with flowers pink and white roses spread on a light green bedsheet. The 4 youngsters were running around left right and centre shouting instructions at each other. They were arranging n rearranging, decorating and redecoratingthe temple's mandap.

The crowd looked on amused at the antics of the young ,and at the sheer joy emanating from them. They wondered what was going on and were talking to each other. The elders loved them and some joined them in their joy. One said " Good kids. Sanskari bache hain. They are here in the temple early in the morning with traditional instruments". Another said "ofcoz they are. Otherwise most of the children of this age are sleeping at this hour''.". "or partying, drinking and discothequing still and here these kids are going to sing the aarti today. Some parents have all the luck."sighed a middle aged woman. "what?????" asked some shocked"these bratz are going to sing the aarti????".they looked at them joking around and shouting at each other.

"Oh yes!!!",said the Pandit. "They have taken the permission from the temple committee. And trust me they are really good'." He grinned. " Today's aarti is going to be beautiful and brilliant, as brilliant as the gem they are doing it for " "for whom are they doing it?"asked someone. "Oh their elder sister Gia". "Gia beta!!!! Kahan hai? who aagayi waapis?asked a frail old woman."ji maaji kal hi aayi hai"replied the pandit aap idher baithkar wait karen. Gia beti will be coming soon its almost tym.she is goin to be very happy with their lovely surprise"

Nitesh: "Kim when will she come? We are waiting n almost ready"

Kim :"have some patience.soon.acha u all know na when she enters the temple we will start with our classical music, creating an environment anddd "

" and when she is greeting some elders we will start her fav krishna aarti.and when she reaches the idols and prays we will continue and...'''."interrupts karan

"anddd as soon as she takes the aarti flame and pandit's blessings amma will bring her b4 us .she'll be shocked when she sees us.we will finish playing the music go to her say happy birthday gia di and hug her altogether"interrupts sahara

They look at each other and laugh and give each other a high five. The crowd smiles at their excited behaviour. Suddenly kim gets a call.

Kim"hello''''...she's here????'. Hmm '''.ji aap thodi der unko phool mala stall par rokiye..ji'. ok 5-7 min thankyou"(cuts the call). Hey u guyz lets move it she's here"(turns to the crowd )aap log bhi plz help aur njoy karen this kanha aarti from us for our sweet di. "

The four run to their places on the stage."1 2 hey you 3 4 lets go". Immediately they start n d sweet powerful soothing music with an ethereal mix of the timbres of the flute sitar harmonica and tabla fills up the pandal and wows the crowd.

Down below on the steps a beautiful young girl with purity radiating through her sweet 'doe' eyes and her infectious smile dressed in a beautiful white and green and pink sari looks up in amazement. As she hears the classical strains she closes her eyes and her smile expands and spreads enveloping everyone in its warmth.she hurries up the steps wanting to be closer to this amazing music.

"Wow!! Just wow. Its beautiful. I wonder whats going on in the temple." She looks around and sighs. 'the usually hustling bustling temple is quiet today. There is a hush filled with that heavenly music. everyone and everything else is quiet. Its almost as if its full of anticipation,a sense of waiting for something or someone'a sense of something happening' "oh quiet gia! u always imagine lots of stuff. U and ur imagination.ufff wteva this music is out of this world.kanha is waiting. Move it."

She reaches the pandal. At her first step into the pandal the music changes slightly and she hears the melodious strains of aarti kunj bihari ki shri girdhar krishna murari ki. She looks around in amazement and finds a crowd surrounding the singers. She smiles "obviously the crowd is as attracted to the melodious singers as I am. good. i'll offer my prayers quietly n without any squeezing and pulling. Wow"

she goes towards the idols n offers her thaali to the pandit who smiles at her . she then closes her eyes and listens to the aarti . she takes the aarti from the pandit and does aarti of the magnificent idol of radhakrishna. The eternal symbolic icon of a pure love in all its magnificence and power.. she hands back the aarti closes her eyes n prays quietly for her family and for all those she loved for all who love her n those who don't. a single tear runs down her eyes which she quickly wipes off.kanha ji give them love and all the happiness of the world".

She turns back sees the old lady n smiles. "Jai sri krishna amma." "jai shri krishna gia beta.how are you and when did you come back? You don't miss us na? ofcoz hum to budhe hain kise hamari zaroorat?" gia smiles and pulls her ears and says "sorry.itni der se aane ke liye bt work kept me busy n ofcoz I missed you. See I got something for you."gia takes out a small gold idol of bal krishna n says"for you when im not there"they hug. "amma who is doin the aarti today?its beautiful." Amma smiles "haan ur fav tabhi to beautiful."they laugh."some kids are singing this aarti.""really?"."hmm lets go aage. Le chal mujhe". "ji".

She takes amma towards the crowd that parted for her .lost in the music she did not notice that the aarti was coming to an end and she was next to the stage. What she saw next made her stop suddenly and amma almost fall. she could not believe that her own 4 bratz were smiling at her, playing the tabla, harmonium,sitar and flute instead of their usual bassinet drums,piano,electric guitar and saxophone,singing the aarti instead of sexy back,belly dancer, tonight im lovin u n even dirty dancer and my god wearing traditional attire instead of tees n torn jeans, skirts or shorts'."oh my god oh my god oh my god . i'm dreaming this cant be happening. amma pinch me".amma did as she asked and she shrieked in pain but saw the same thing.

The bratz were grinning at her and each other knowing that they had successfully flummoxed gia di.

The aarti music finally stopped.the bratz ran immediately n together surrounded gia di on four corners. Gia did not notice she was still shocked.they grinned thumbs up at each other n together hugged gia di from the four sides and yelled 'SURPRISE'!!!!!.n finally a reaction she screamed "youuu bratzzz when? how ?what? where? and why? they laughed n hugged her again n said "for u di, only for u. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DI.we love u di 4eva "they sang in a singsong chorus.

Gia looked at them with tears in her eyes. She looked at each of them n hugged them one by one with love shining in her eyes n said "I love u too 4eva". All five had tears rolling down their eyes n all five tried to wipe each others tears. The crowd looked at them n d love that each felt for the other was so bright n beautiful that they had tears in their eyes as they smiled n blessed them 4eva.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------guys i hope u liked it. plz give me some suggestions 4 improvement n tell me if its good or not. if i shud continue?

Edited by arista_pooh - 13 years ago
indu_shah thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#7
good ff...who is gia..why is gopi's picture hanging in their room and 5th death anniv...omg i cant see gopi dead and ahem doomed and lost in her ...i want nice things happening arnd gohem...bring back gopi 😭 pls..kanhaji..for ahem's sake...
arista_pooh thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: indu_shah

good ff...who is gia..why is gopi's picture hanging in their room and 5th death anniv...omg i cant see gopi dead and ahem doomed and lost in her ...i want nice things happening arnd gohem...bring back gopi 😭 pls..kanhaji..for ahem's sake...


hey thnx. just wait u'll know how the story progresses. actually ji ahemji woh ahemji woh ji waali gopi gets on my nerves and i wud prefer ji ahemji waali gopi dead.relax dear
starryeye thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#9
i think its going to turn out to be fabulous the presents of love and kindness and spirituality makes a good combination for everlasting happiness pleeeze continue awaiting for family meeting gia on this sad and happy day
arista_pooh thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: starryeye

i think its going to turn out to be fabulous the presents of love and kindness and spirituality makes a good combination for everlasting happiness pleeeze continue awaiting for family meeting gia on this sad and happy day

thankyou . i'll try my best. it's a 1st attempt so i guess im nw a lil confused. but hopin i'll do the story justice. wish me luck

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