FF:First Love~LAST PART~ page 81 12/9/11 - Page 13

Part 8

Later that night Ahem was starring at his computer screen and thought another wasted opportunity. Why couldn't he talk to Gopi like he had wanted to? In college he had not been shy about talking to her, in fact he had done most of the talking, and Gopi had just listened. How he wished he could bring those days back, but he can't they are both different people now. He had been working nonstop for the last four years to bring the company to the top and in that process he has lost himself somewhere, and now it was hard to go back to those carefree days.

He watched from the corner of his eyes as Gopi set the water pitcher on his bedside table. Will she leave or stay? Usually she leaves if he is still working and won't come back to the room until he falls asleep, but for once he hoped that she would stay. He held his breath and waited. He released a breath when he saw her go to the closet to take out her nightgown and go in the bathroom. He waited for her to come out of the bathroom.

He got up and went to his favorite place in the room, to the window, and gazed out at the night sky and the millions of twinkling stars. He crossed his arms and leaned against the window, his favorite position.

When Gopi came out of the bathroom she was surprised to see Ahem standing at the window, he has been doing that a lot lately and she wondered what was bothering him. She usually waited till he fell asleep to come to bed, but once again she hadn't been felling well so decided to come to the room and sketch for little while.

She pulled out her new sketchbook and sat down with it in the chair. She opened a page but didn't know what to draw. Then her eyes automatically drifted towards Ahem, who looked lost in thoughts and her pencil started moving on the page as if it had a mind of its own.

Ahem had been watching her reflection in the window. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. She looked beautiful in the emerald green nightgown and the matching robe, her hair flowing down her back and no makeup. The gown was not revealing at all but it clung in all the right places accenting all her curves. He glanced away before his eyes roamed over all of her curves and he completely lost his train of thoughts.

He watched as she started sketching in the sketchbook and wondered what she was drawing. Once she started sketching she forgot everything around her, it was as if she was alone in the world. She would glance at him for a moment and then her pencil would start moving furiously across the page, and he realized she was sketching him, and wondered if that was good or bad?

Gopi didn't know how long she had been bent over the sketchbook but after a while she started felling the tension in her neck and shoulder and realized she needed to stop. When she looked up she was surprised to see Ahem facing her staring at her intently.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Is it good?"

When she looked confused, he pointed to her sketchbook, she just shrugged her shoulders. Ahem sighed, so much for small talk, it looked like he was going to have to take a direct approach with her.

He moved to the empty chair next to her. Gopi tensed when he sat next to her and started fiddling with her art supplies. "Gopi there is something I've been meaning to say to you for sometime, but haven't had the nerve."

"Gopi I wanted to apologize to you for what happened on the night of the party three months ago and for the day in college six years ago." Ahem waited for her to look at him.

Gopi released a breath that she hadn't realized she had been holding. She wondered why he is bringing up the past now. She had finally decided to get out of his life and stop leaving on false hope, and here he is once again trying to be the old Ahem.

She looked up at him with the pain in her eyes, that she was unable to hide from him. "Why bring up the past now Ahem? I have finally reconciled myself to the fact that you will never trust me and have decided to set you free from this marriage. I have realized that we were never…….." she trailed off before she gave away too much of what she felt. "Anyways I have decided that in few months, when I turn twenty-five, I will file for a divorce."

Ahem clenched his jaw and tried to control his temper. He couldn't believe she had thought this far ahead. "If you are going to divorce me why wait until you turn twenty-five, why not do it now?"

Gopi stood up and moved away from him. "I don't have any other option but to wait until I come into my inheritance, I told you this before we got married."

"So let me get this straight you want to continue with this marriage of convenience for few more months. But have you thought about what the family is going to say?"

Gopi turned towards him again. "Why do you think I have stuck it out this long? I gave my best shot to work it out with you, I tried to explain to you what had happened in college, and the night of the party three months ago, you didn't even give me a chance to explain anything, you just started shouting at me, and now after three months you want to apologize, why? What has changed?"

Ahem looked away in shame and guilt, he had waited too long to apologize to her, he should have said something as soon as he knew the truth. "Jigar told me what happened on the night of the party, then I ran into Shurti who also revealed what happened six years ago and also on that night." Ahem hoped she wouldn't ask him how long he had known the truth.

Gopi was stunned to know he knew the truth finally, then she thought back at what he said and wondered. "When did you find out the truth?" Dashing Ahem's hopes that she wouldn't ask him that.

Ahem didn't have any choice but to tell her the truth. "I found out the truth day after the party three months ago."

Ahem watched as her eyes widened in shock, for a moment he thought she was going to blast him, then her shoulders slumped in defeat. "What do you want from me Ahem, forgiveness to assuage your guilt? Ok you are forgiven, lets just move on."

"That's not all I want, I want us to try to work on our marriage. I want you to give me a second chance." He moved to stand in front of her.

Gopi just shook her head. "And I can't give you that."

Ahem moved closer to her. "Can't or won't? It means you really haven't forgiven me from your heart, you just said the words without any meaning behind them.

Gopi couldn't believe he was going to fight her on this, it had taken her so long to take a decision, and when she did he wants to change the rules on her again. "I won't give you another chance, and do you know why? Because next time there may be no one round to vouch for me, then what will you do, will you decided once again that I am not trustworthy after all?"

Gopi moved away from him a bit and rubbed her forehead she could feel a tension headache coming on. "The truth is Ahem, I have nothing left to give to anyone. I am tired. I am tired of trying to prove myself to the people who should trust me unconditionally."

Ahem flinched at her words and realized that he has hurt Gopi deeply by not trusting her, and he may not be the only one. What did she mean by people who should trust her unconditionally? Is she only talking about him or about her father and brother too? What has happened to Gopi in the past six years, why is she ready to give up so easily? From what he knew of her from back in college and his observation of her in the past eight months, he knew Gopi never gave up on things so easily, so why now? He needed to find out what is bothering her and help her with whatever it is, he needed to prove to her that this time he won't let her down.

He moved to her once again and took her hand in his, but frowned when he felt the warmth of her hand, he released her hand and felt her forehead, she was burning up with fever. "Gopi, you are burning up with fever, why didn't you say something. Come on lay down on the bed and I will go get you some medicine." He pulled her to the bed and made her lay down and covered her with a blanket. He then went downstairs to bring her medicine. When he came back she was almost asleep, he sat beside her and helped her sit up to take the medicine, when she was done, he helped her lay back down.

Ahem turned the light off on her side of the bed then moved to the bathroom to change his clothes, when he came back out Gopi was fast asleep. Ahem thought back to his Kakiji's word from that morning and his mom had also mentioned the night before that she hadn't been feeling well. He wondered what was going on with Gopi.

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