Preparing for death

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judyp

@judyp

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

Although this is a morbid topic. It is the current storyline in SP - Nahar has a terminal illness, he is dying.

We see Nahar trying to prepare Saloni for life without him. We also see him dealing with financial matters for his family e.g. LIP etc.

Death often happens suddenly, a car accident, a plane crash, a fatal fight, a war, a flood, and so on. When we feel healthy and full of energy, we do not think much about our death. Still, death might come very unexpectedly.

Many people learn that they are suffering from a terminal or life-threatening illness from a doctor, at a stage when they may still feel only a little unwell and the idea that they may be going to die is completely unexpected. Most of us remain completely unprepared for our own deaths and the shock of having to confront it, particularly if you are younger, maybe with a dependent family, leads to turmoil of emotions and feelings.

How does one prepare for approaching death?

How does one prepare for the death of someone close?

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ramas

@ramas

Alumni

+ 5

Posted: 16 years ago

good topic. actually no one thinks of an inevitable.

In other sense no one wants to die or think about death.

When a person dies suddenly. it is bad for the ones who are left behind . it is truly traumatic for immidiate family members. Because they had no time to prepare themselves for the shock.

I have lost 2 of my younger brothers, younger sister my father and my mother this way. i took years and years to recover. I am still not over it.

But then we had known about my grand ma. my bhabhi and my nanad we knew all three had cancers and dying. it still did not make it easy on us.

My grandma and my bhabhi suffered like only a month or so. But my nanad suffered so much for 3 years her body was slowly disintegrating. last time I talked to her when she wanted to die so badly as she did not want to pain her family so much.

In other sense neither of the deaths are easy when they are our own.

Loosing a loved one is never easy either they die instantly or they die of terminal illness. In later case you have time to preapre yourself

As for the person who is dying. i don't know how one can prepare themselves for the death. As specially when they are young and they have whole life ahead of them. But when you are left with no choice then the only thing to do is to live the life to the fullest in remaining time and not think about death. But take each day that is given and live for that day. Family members too should provide positive environment for the person dying and make them feel and keep happy and try to fulfill their wishes if possible.

Dying person should turn to religion and meditate which might give them some peace and relief. it is scientificaly proven that meditation helps terminally ill patients .

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judyp

@judyp

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

Ramas you are truly an amazing person. You are so positive and upbeat yet never hiding from the grief in your life.

For me all the deaths in my family have been unexpected my elder brother died at home in his sleep and we were unaware until some-one went to wake him for work. I had left for work and got the news over the phone. On the other hand my father went in for a routine operation and he died suddenly. My family had to deal with sudden losses there were no good-byes. For my mother it was extremely hard to lose her eldest child, what was worst for her is at the time her last surviving sibling had died and she was dealing with that death when my brother died.

I think sometimes Saloni exemplify the Indian woman's fighting spirit. Everyday you read about tremendous losses in India trampling, drowning, bombing and the Indian public still continues to believe in the goodness of God and hope for the future. I sometimes wonder how do they deal with such temendous loss. Going to pray to god and people are trampled to death. Doesn't that shake up your belief system, make you unable to continue with life.

From my standpoint NS coping with losses, focusing on what you have and not what you have loss"the theory of the glass is half-full and not half-empty" appears to be a good philosophy for good living.

Bereavement is a powerful, life-changing experience that most people find overwhelming the first time. Although grief is a natural process of human life, most of us are not inherently able to manage it alone. At the same time, others are often unable to provide aid or insight because of discomfort with the situation and the desire to avoid making things worse.

Edited by judyp - 16 years ago

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sg2600

@sg2600

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

@Raksha Di, @Judyp

Sorry to know about your losses. Even I felt the same way when 2 of my uncles and my grandmother passed away, no good byes. I felt more so when one of my uncles passed away in front of me only.

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ramas

@ramas

Alumni

+ 5

Posted: 16 years ago

judy i understand your pain very much. my sister age 25 died in her sleep too. Night before she complained of not feeling well. They found her dead in the bathroom in the morning. The saddest part of living away is that I never saw any one's dead body except my grandma because I was with her.

But all my mother my father my brothers and my sister had gotten 2nd chances in life. My mom and dad had survived a car accident caused by drunk driver where both were in serious condition. my mom was also burned twice and my sis once. Both my brothers had also survived accidents in their earlier years of life. I think of this way what if god had not given them those chances then tehy would have died so early..

I myself have survived 2 almost fatal car accidents one when my son was 6 months and 2nd when he was in 3rd grade. It wasn't my fault in any of those accidents. But with god's grace I survived. My only living brother too had massive heart attack at the age of 36. But some how he knew as the chest pain began while he was driiving. He managed to get help and got himself admitted in nearby hospital and told his friend(doctor) he was going to have heart attack. Luckily he got treatment in time and angioplasty. So now he is all right

So despite seeing so much sadness I feel this way that god is giving us chances to wake up and see how short our lives are as no one lived beyond 52 especially my siblings who died 40,43 and 25. except my grandma who was 76.

So I would say keep the faith. faith is teh only thing that will let you go on. Or a person can go insane. My faith was shaken many times. But then I realize that since nothing is in our hand why don't we believe in god.

In a way singh parivar is a very religios family and good ppl so I am sure god will show a way to save Nahar. As for Nahar he needs a support so he must let his family know

Edited by ramas - 16 years ago

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Sadhana

@Wulfrun

Beginner

Posted: 16 years ago

Well all of you who have written before me on this subject, shows how much all of endure in our own lives, and look at the different corners of the world that we all live in.

I lost my sister too... in a horrible tragic way her life was taken away on purpose by a person she thought loved her.

Everyone deals with things in different ways but everytime you thing about the time you think it was god that saw us through those very difficult times.

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ramas

@ramas

Alumni

+ 5

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: sg2600
@Raksha Di, @Judyp
Sorry to know about your losses. Even I felt the same way when 2 of my uncles and my grandmother passed away, no good byes. I felt more so when one of my uncles passed away in front of me only.

I know it hurts so much. I too felt that way about my grandma as I was taking care of her .

death of family member is never easy.

But some how life goes on and we have to live for the ppl who depends on us. some times you wonder where is god's justice. as my grandma was widowed at the age of 25 with 2 children to riase. my dad was only 1and 1/2 years old. her devar wanted to take away the only possesion she had that was her home. But she fought in the court and raised 2 children . Unfortunately her only daughter my aunt died at the age of 22 with meningitis living a newborn to be raised my grandma. And then she got a cancer in her last years and suffered so much for a month or so. She was wonderful human being who taught us to be what we are. She always helped everyone. ppl loved her so much. She taught us always to find goodness in every one.

Any ways SP makers have dealt with yet another issue how to prepare for the death I guess.

Edited by ramas - 16 years ago

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sneha

@snehasudhir

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

Hi All,

very deeply touched by all of your writings....it takes immense strength to control urself and also others during such a time. all that we can do is pray to GOD to give us the strength for everythg....its tough to handle the situtations at times, but thats wats is called as the inner strength...

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Preparing for death

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