Very, very interesting questions again, Jaya! And oh, I absolutely enjoyed answering the other set on movies and directors 😊 We do have quite a bit of likes / dislikes common 😉
I guess marriage just makes it easier for a couple to see each other everyday, rather than sneak away and meet 😛 That apart, I strongly believe in the institution of marriage. However, I also feel that not everyone is cut out for it, i.e. some who are scared of committing, or have some mental / other problems that makes it difficult for them to get married through the usual arranged marriage (or love marriage) route. I feel such people are better off having live-ins and our society shouldn't shun such people. Often, that is what makes it easy for the couple to be comfortable with each other.
Hmm... marriageable and yet scared? That's where I was and I think I can share from my experience. I married after meeting my husband on-line 😉 The internet allowed the two of us to interact as friends, with no commitment on either side. It was just plain chat - with oodles of humour, testing of the greys and playing around with the English language on both sides. By the time I met him in person, we saw each other nost just as friends, but we were also comfortable enough with each other (through the net) to actually want to spend time with each other. But, we gave ourselves the time to let that platonic friendship to develop into something more and when it did... surprisingly, it didn't surprise either of us or anyone else around us. I'm glad I had my parents' support (my sis was of course my prime support) in all this. They didn't force and they didn't rush.
I'd say that it's important to let that level of comfort and friendship to grow. Once that happens it either naturally develops into more than friendship, or it stays right there. Either way, I believe that parents should let their marriageable offsprings have that freedom to interact with their would-be's. May be one can learn something from that movie 'Baaton baaton mein'!
Now to your second question - Like I said, my hubby and I interacted as friends and that gave us the opportunity to know each other as 'just another human being', rather than a 'prospect'. That way, we didn't get prejudiced about each other. We were drawn to each other by the way we expressed ourselves (in the written media). He had (still has) a great sense of humour and I am guessing he liked mine 😉 His humour was so PG Wodehousian that I couldn't resist!! The best was when I learnt that he loves PGW too. He had seen the same movies like I had and loved similar compositions / composers in western classical like me. Besides, he could also immediately guess what I would say next, from my previous sentence. And best of all, he could solve Math puzzles in a jiffy, whilst I (with my phobia for Math) would be just reading English in that puzzle!
Third question - No way to status quo! Best is to talk it out, I'd say. And things to hold on to? Things like being close to your parents. Wanting to share things with your folks; visiting them as often as you want. That apart, saying that you would like to have your career, your space. Things concerning in-laws like, you wouldn't tolerate injustice from them! These are abolutely non-negotiable. But one needn't go and fight it out with one's spouse, if he happens to differ a little on some of these - like career, or being close to one's parents. Sometimes it's best to soft-talk it with him (choose the best time 😉) Believe me guys can be very receptive, if the right time is chosen. And then little by little, you could have him see your POV!
Definitely important to have a member of the opp gender as a friend, other than one's husband. And if the husband is sensible, he will see your POV and be secure in your love for him and respect that. That way the hubby and wife give space to each other and don't burden each other with their complaints and trouble all the time 😛
Women being older not an issue. The more maturity one gets the better. One will need all of that to handle men
Part one! Will get back on the others soon!!
Originally posted by: *Jaya*
Hey Sarita - I will wait for your answer on my question on movie directors.. no hurries, take your time... I must also say that your answers reflect a lot of maturity mixed with the right amount of humor and I am enjoying every bit of it 😊
Meanwhile, thought that I could ask you something more 😛
How much importance would you attach to getting married? What would you say to those who are at a marriagable age and yet scared? 😉
We know that a marriage definitely calls for some adjustments on both parts. What were the things you found difficult adjusting? How was it with your hubby?
On how many things/issues/habits, did your ideas/views/tastes actually match with your hubby? What were they (if there were any 😆)?
What are the few things that you should continue to hold on to without any compromises even if it offends your partner? Is status-quo always the best way to go?
Is it fine to have a best friend of opposite gender other than your spouse? Why or why not?
What are your thoughts on a woman being elder in the marital relationship? Do you think it can cause problems in the relationship?
Is motherhood a must to be a complete woman? Can you think of reasons that can justify a woman's decision not to have kids?
Why do you think the longitivity of relationships is on the decline as we are getting more 'progressive'? What would be your 'to-dos' to mend it?
What is your idea of an ideal man and an ideal woman? Could you mention people who are closest fits to this idea of yours.
If you had to mention a few movies that had closest to real life depiction of man-woman relationships, you would name?
Edited by Ethnos - 18 years ago
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