Member Of The Week - s.priya(Priya) - Page 37

Originally posted by: CRAZIE

Are there female leprechauns? YES
Do judges and lawyers do jury duty? NO
Do fish sleep? YES
Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster then the speed of light? YES
Why do all the days of the week end in "y"? They left Z for an eventualtiy😉
Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together? YES
If God created everything, and He knows everything ahead of time, why did He create Satan? Because Satan was part of everything
On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1? 1 is for emergency, not to create one.
Why do people say heads up when you should duck? For the same reason that many say right but turn left
Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights? Because the tights did not fit when worn other way round
Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone? Yes.
Do Nascar Drivers need their license when their racing? YES
If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when is your birthday? On 29th February😉
Do Siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts? Two
Why is it at a Chinese restaurant an egg roll is called that when there is no egg in it? Lemme just go ask my neighbourhood chinese guy, or ask Ron😉
If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see? NO 😛
If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere...which way does it spin at the equator? It is calm at the equator
If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing? Yes.
If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive your car at 50mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind? Lemme just try it out and come
How do you throw away a garbage can? By chucking it out
In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end? Extra pages insisted upon by the author, having paid for publishing of that many pages/
Why can't you eat pancakes for dinner? Because it is made in the morning
Why do donuts have holes? To put sugar icing well
Why do the numbers on a phone go one way and the numbers on the calculator go the other? The manufacturers forgot to correct this before its launch.
If your born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days? No. At midnight every year
If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard? NO
Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"? No idea. Need to investigate this trend
How do you handcuff a one-armed man? cuff his arm to his leg
Why is the abbreviation for pound lb. when l or b isn't in the word pound? English is a funny language
Why doesn't the glue in the bottle dry up? OH! Mine just did
Why does everyone speak different languages and have different accents if we all originally came from the same place? Because now we are all settled elsewhere and in the transition, we have learnt new things
If you tell someone they are being judgmental aren't you being judgmental yourself? YES
Why do they call them guidance counselors when all counselors do is offer guidance? Not all offer guidance. Some mis guide😉
Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia? 😆
If someone can't see, they're blind and if someone cant hear, they're deaf, so what do you call people who can't smell? Nasal😉
How do they get those boats in those glass bottles? by putting them inside
Why would superman want to leap over the tallest building in a single bound if he can fly? He likes to use different methods of arriving at a place in style, instead of repeating same ole flying
Why is it called a TV set when there is only one? They sold it as a set, someone stole the second one
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? l😆
How did the headless horseman know where he was going? horseman had head.
Do cows drink milk? NO
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? Yes
What is a male ladybug called? man bug
Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks? Because they have a horse and a carriage while a regular one does not have it
Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on? Because it puts off your sleep, instead of on
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? Becuase you step out to buy loaf
Does the President have to pay taxes? YES
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them? YES
What ever happened to an E grade? We have A,B,C,D,F but no E. 😕
Don't you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their "practice" ? 😆 NO.
Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary? yes
airtight packages?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Who said they cant??
Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year? Its been flowing so long that it has already reached close to expiry
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat? For the indecent human being
Why is it that lemon dishsoap is made with real lemons, but lemon juice is artificial flavoring? the dish soap consumed all lemons, leaving artifical for juices.
If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery? yes.
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? 😆
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Because everyone wants to rush, but no one can
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"? The calf
What do people in China call their good plates? Our Wares
If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds? No
Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken? No idea.
Does peanut butter really have butter in it? YES
Why is it called eggplant, when there's no egg in it? it is shaped like one
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning? They do.
What was the best thing before sliced bread? Loaf of bread.
If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight? Dont believe.
If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like? Like your own😉
What's the opposite of opposite? Opposite
If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice? to be nobody😃
If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do? succeed😃
Why is the blackboard green? the maker was colour blind
Why do they call it a black light when it's really purple? Because it was black when it started and the light rays turned it purple
What do you call male ballerinas? 😆
How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter? Because hair is dead skin while skin is live.
Why are pennies bigger than dimes? no idea
What came first, the fruit or the color orange? Fruit.
Where does the white go when the snow melts? along with the snow water
Can blind people see their dreams? Yeah.
Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows? Because start is the way to go to the end.
why is it called lipstick when it always comes off? 😕
What happens if someone loses a lost and found box? It remains a lost box, not a lost and found one.
What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about? OK.
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Force of Habit
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? I dont😉 I believe everyone
How does Santa get into a house that doesn't have a chimney? Through the door, or window
If you get cheated by the better business bureau, who do you complain to? The not so better business bureau.
If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go? Earth. its a lot worse, or MOTW at SRGMP on IF
I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be under whelmed, but can you just be whelmed? NO
What should one call a male ladybird? 😃
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose? NO
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Yes.
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? NO.
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? YES.
How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead? REvival procedures in case of dead😉
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow? 😕
If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it? YES
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? naked
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If superglue is so good, why doesn't it stick to the side of the tube? 😕
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? 😆
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
What came first the chicken or the egg?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? NONE
What happens if you get scared half to death twice? you die
What is another word for "thesaurus"?
What is the speed of dark? will check tonight
What's another word for synonym?
When people lose weight, where does it go?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why aren't there bulletproof pants?
Why do airlines call flights nonstop?
Won't they all stop eventually?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

Enjoy😉

sorry for all the questions but i couldn't resist myself