Game - JOKES

When was Rome built?
At night
Why do you say that?
Becuase Rome wasn't built in a day

How do youprevent water from getting into your house?
Stop paying the water bill

How do you prevent water from getting into your house?
Stop paying the water bill

Here.. I will say two jokes..
Ont to please Men and other Women 😉

This one is for Men....

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."

and this one is for Women 😉

Hubby - You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Wife - When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Hubby - You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Wife - Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Hope you will like this .............. No offence to anyone......


Subject: Why newton commited suicide
>Newton-The Father of Physics
>commited suicide, you know
>why. Here is the reason.
>
>Once he came to India and He watched a
>few Tamil movies and had his
>head spinning. He was convinced that
>all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile
>of junk and apologised for everything he had done.
>
>In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton
>was confused to such an extent that
>he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:
>
>1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor
>which, according to the doctors can't
>be cured and his death is imminent. Inone of the fights,
>our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's
>surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away
>the tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Rajanikanth.
>
>2) In one of the movies, Rajanikanth
>is confronted with 3 gangsters.
>Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet.
>Guess, what he does.......
>He holds a knife in his hand and throws at the middle
>gangster..& shoots the bullet towards the knife.
>The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both
>the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the
>knife kills the middle one.
>
>3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a
>revolver but he has no bullets in it.
>Guess, what he does. Nah not even in your remotest imaginations.
>He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the
>gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet
>compartment of his revolver and catches
>the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.
>Bang...And the gangster dies....
>This was too much for our Newton to take and he was
>completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he
>happened to see a movie for one last time and thought that at
>least one movie will follow his theory of physics. The
>whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in
>the world hasn't changed. Oops not so fast.
>
>The Climax finally arrives.
>Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain
>is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that
>Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those
>superman techniques that our heroes normally use.
>Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because
>its the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually
impossible)..
>Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket
>(Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air
>and when the gun has reached the height of the wall, he
>shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with
>his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the
>villain is dead.
>
>Newton commits Suicide.

One more ...............

Attempted Murder:


WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (Supposedly actual AP headline)


Linda Burnett, 23, was visiting her in-laws, and while they went to a
nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her
sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed,
with both hands behind the back of her head.


One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and
walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she
looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that
she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in
for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car
because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from
her head.


When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on
the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the
heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough
hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it
was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed
out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour
until someone noticed and came to her aid. And, yes, Linda is a blonde.

Only in America


We park in driveways and drive on parkways!

Punishment in Heaven

Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there.
''Why?'' he asks.

St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The same happens to the second guy. He asks why.

St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The third guy laughs at his friends and says, ''Thank God I didn't do anything like that.'' He gets handcuffed to the prettiest girl in heaven. The other two guys ask, ''Why?''

''Because when she was nine she killed a bird with a stone.''