FF: The Beautiful and the Condemned (Completed) - Page 26

Rudra didn't sleep a wink that night. He sat at the edge of his bed, staring at the closed cellar door in front of him. He was waiting for Paro to try to escape. He purposely left her unchained, to see what she would do. He thought that she would try to leave the first chance she got, proving to him that everyone was the same. Paro knew that the cellar was underneath his home, so it was highly probable that she would get caught trying to leave, but she may be willing to take the chance. However, as dawn broke, Rudra found himself incapable of believing that she hadn't come out.

He didn't know whether to be happy or sad about this. On one hand, he felt somewhat relieved that she had stayed. If she had gone out on the streets late at night who knows what would've happened to her. And if anyone did try to harm her they would have him to deal with. Then on the other hand, Rudra felt pained because she didn't try to escape. What happened with her mami-sa must've really traumatized her. She must still be feeling lost. If she got out, where would she have gone? There was nothing left out there for her, and she was willing to stay knowing this. It made him ache knowing that she had given up the will to fight and survive. Did she really feel that she had no one?

Rudra opened the cellar doors. He walked down the steps and found Parvati already awake, walking aimlessly around the cellar. Her back was facing him, giving up a full view of her low cut back on her choli. She hadn't even heard the doors open. Her attention was focused on something else. It was the table. The only table in the room that served to hold and display his weapons of torture. Rudra had already seen her in so much pain and he didn't want her looking at those things and be reminded of what had happened not too long ago. As he moved towards her, he watched as Parvati's hand trailed on the table, gliding past the devilish instruments, refusing to touch them in the slightest.

He stopped beside her and spoke, "Paro."

She pulled her hand away from the table and turned to face Rudra. He found a calm expression on her face, which confused him terribly. Yesterday she was completely lost and broken. Her face was practically hollow and pale after everything she had gone through. But today she was...glowing. She wasn't happy, he could see that, but she wasn't sad either. She was content. He believed that spending some time in the rain had done her some good. The fact that she was still here though bothered him.

"Why are you still here?" he blatantly asked.

Parvati was confused, "What do you mean?"

"You had the opportunity to escape, but you stayed here. Why?"

She looked away for a moment before looking back at Rudra. His questioning glare softened as he caught a glimpse of tenderness in her eyes.

"Do you want the honest truth?" she asked.

"Yes," he affirmed.

"Where else would I go, Rudra?"

"Anywhere. Anywhere but here. Anywhere to get away from this. Isn't that what you originally wanted...to get away from this jallad?"

"Don't call yourself a jallad, Rudra."

He was at a loss for words. Parvati had been the one to call him a jallad, and now she refused to acknowledge that he was one. Why?

Paro half-heartedly smiled, "You're not a jallad. You're just a human being who is going through dark times. I have nowhere to go but here. At least, if I stay here as a prisoner, I belong somewhere. Out there, I am nothing. Here, I'm something, even if it is short of being nothing. I'd rather stay here and be protected by you than in danger out there."

"So you stayed because you have nowhere else to go?"

"Yes, and because..."

"Because what?"

She looked down.

Rudra moved closer and lifted her chin gently so her eyes met his, "Paro?"

"I trust you."

Those three words hit Rudra hard. He felt like the air had been knocked out of him. Trust. Paro trusted him. Even after all the cruelty she faced because of him, she was still able to look him in the eyes and say those three words. He never trusted anyone except Tejawat, and yet she did it so easily. And the sheer confidence in her voice made him believe that it was something she had been wanting to say for awhile now.

Paro repeated, "I trust you. That's why I stayed."

"You trust me? Why? How?" Rudra removed his hand from her chin, still trying to fathom what she had said.

"You protected me every step of the way. Even when you tried to hurt me, you simply couldn't. You comforted me in my darkest times, and even tried to bring a smile on my face. If I left you would've returned to being a jallad, and I would be the cause. I don't want you to be a jallad. The human Rudra, the one who tries not to care but does, is much better. When I needed someone in my darkest hours, you were there. How can I walk away when you're still surrounded by darkness?"

Rudra would never be able to understand the blind trust that Parvati had in him, but the fact that she did so was shocking to him. There were things in life that he failed to understand, he wouldn't deny it, and she was definitely one of them. She was overlooking the darker moments between them and embracing the good moments. He knew though, that it was because of her that the jallad in him was now being locked away, and only returned when she needed protecting. Unknowingly, she brought out the human within him. Maybe he did trust her, that's why he didn't hesitate to take her out in the rain. If she could do so much...if she could stay by his side, knowing who he was and what he's done...couldn't he trust her?

Rudra took Parvati's hand in his and guided her up the stairs. She silently abided. He took her upstairs and gestured her to sit on the bed, and she did so without question. He began pacing back and forth in front of her, contemplating something that Parvati wasn't sure of. It wasn't long before he came and sat down on the edge of the bed next to her. He hadn't looked at her. He only looked down at the ground where his arms were resting on his knees. He held his hands, trying to find the right words to say to the woman next to him, who was patiently waiting for him to say something.

After moments of silence, he spoke, "You and I are very similar. My parents and I would spend every weekend going out, whether it be a film or to the market. Whatever I asked for, they gave without question. My bapu-sa used to call me sher and my maa-sa always called me her raja."

Parvati remained silent, but listened to him intently.

"Paro, we both have gone through similar tragedies, similar situations. And we've turned out so different." He looked over at her, saddened. "When I was ten, I lost my maa-sa and bapu-sa in a fire. It broke out in my home in Birpur. I was asleep in the house. I was awoken by one of thakur-sa's men and forcefully carried out of the haveli. I was forced to stay by thakur-sa's side. My parents were still inside the house, and no one could go inside to save them, not even me. The flames were too big. I had to stand there helplessly and watch and the haveli collapsed to the ground and reduce to ash. Ever since that day, thakur-sa has looked after me. He pretty much raised me."

"And that's why you serve him, because you feel indebted to him," Paro said.

"Not because I feel that I am, it's because I am indebted to him. Without him, who knows where'd I be today...or if I'd even be alive today."

Rudra couldn't continue. He looked back down at the ground. The memories...the feelings...the pain...it was all coming back in one swift blow that send him spiraling downwards into an abyss yet again. He used the jallad within him to shield himself from being hurt, to keep the world out. And now that the jallad wasn't present, Parvati was breaking down the barriers, and Rudra was helpless to stop her.

Paro sat the entire time without speaking because she wanted to hear what he had to say. It stunned her to know that Rudra had lost her parents in a fire as well. It explained so much though. She now understood and felt guilty that she had said those hurtful things about his parents to him. His actions that day were justified, and to be honest, she had gotten off easy. It was hard to see that pain expressed in his eyes. He had always been strong and never was one to express any emotion other than anger, but to see this side of him today hurt Parvati. She wished that somehow she could take all his pain away from him, even if it was given to her. Now, that Rudra was bearing his pain to her, Paro didn't know what to do except question why.

"Rudra," she said softly. "Why are you me telling this?"

"You've decided to stay by my side during my darkest time. You should at least know when all this darkness began. You have to understand that I'm a jallad, and you're choosing to stay here by this jallad."

Parvati took a deep breath. She held Rudra's face in her hand and made him look at her. When he did she asked, "Why are you really telling me this?"

Rudra's eyes widened. How did she know there was another reason? Was he that easy to read? No. Rudra knew how to hide everything well. He knew that Parvati just understood him. Words weren't needed. He took in the warmth radiating from her hand that was carefully holding his face, forcing him to look into those beckoning hazel eyes. He melted looking into them as he answered her, not with his mind, but with his heart that had finally thawed.

Staring back into her eyes, he said assuringly, "I trust you, Paro."

He awaited her response with questioning eyes and a sense of nervousness. Once he realized what he had said he couldn't take it back, nor did he want to. She stared into his eyes again, searching as though it was a window to his soul. Rudra meant what he had said, he trusted Paro. He trusted her enough to tell her about his past, which he never dared to tell anyone. He bared his pain out to her on a platter, something he never did, not even to Tejawat. And now that he told everything he wondered if she would leave. There was a part of him that would understand if she did leave, but there was also a part of him that didn't want her to go. However, what Parvati did next was unexpected.

She slowly pulled her hand back and wrapped her arms around his arm. Then...she smiled. It was a smile full of happiness, wrapped in hope, and expressed in bliss. Without hesitation, without regrets, and without hate. Rudra found his heart pounding within his chest, as if it were ready to burst.

"Trust isn't something a person gives so easily," Paro explained. "Especially not someone like you."

"Someone like me?" he repeated.

"You've learned to never trust anyone under any circumstances. Your past is a shadow that follows you and creeps up on you at unexpected times. This jallad, that I have called you, is your protection. But you're not that jallad. It's still within you, but it's not trying to hide the pain. The human you really are is sitting here, with me, trying to share that pain. You have trusted me. You."

"Because you know the pain that I've dealt with. You understand the inner turmoil I've been going through."

"I'm not the only person in this world who has lost their parents in a fire, Rudra. But I understand. And I hope you know that you're not alone. I'm here, and I will be until..."

"...Until I have to kill you...right?"

Paro let go of Rudra's arm and stood up. With her back towards him, she spoke again, "The one thing I remember well about my bapu-sa was that he used to give my imli with salt separately. My maa-sa used to keep a jar of it on the top shelf, and my bapu-sa would always sneakily take two...one for him and one for me."

Rudra wasn't paying attention to what she was saying. He was focused on her ignoring his question. Despite everything, she was still smiling and talking about the good times with her parents. It upset him. Rudra stood up from the bed and turned her to face him.

"You didn't answer my ques-." he began.

He stopped seeing the tears brimming in Paro's eyes, magnifying the hazel color in them. Rudra didn't know why they were there, but the fact that they were threatening to spill from her eyes hurt him more than he could bare. But what prevented him from touching her, comforting her, was the fact that she was still smiling.

"Paro?" he said.

"I know I have to die by your hand," she answered. "I can't change that."

"Then why are you smiling, knowing that I will have to kill you one day?!"

"Because...because I want you to smile."

"Paro..."

"You've gone through so much. You deserve to be happy. If I can make you smile, then I'll die happily."

He moved closer to her, but didn't speak. Rudra was unable to find the proper words to tell her how he felt. He couldn't believe that she knew he was going to have to kill her, and she still wanted him to smile. She was accepting her own death. She wanted him to be happy. That's all she wanted from him? Not freedom...a smile? His happiness? That's what she wanted? How was it possible for Paro to say things to him that could make him fall to his knees? How could she be so selfless? And why...was he finding it more and more difficult to stay away from her?

The honesty and trust that Parvati had been given by Rudra was engraved in her. She had never expected him to be so alike to her. He had gone through so much alone that it made her realize that she made the right decision in not leaving. Whether he accepted it or not, she knew he needed her...the same way she needed him. Paro accepted her Fate. She knew Rudra was going to have to kill her. But at least, she could make sure he was pulled out of the darkness he was living in. She was willing to enter the darkness too, as long as he was there.

"Even if it's just for a little while...please...smile," she said.

Rudra was unable to deny her selfless request. He looked at her, and slowly smiled. Parvati smiled transformed into a brilliant grin seeing him fulfill her request. It light up her world to know that he was smiling only for her, only because of her. After he had done so, Rudra tried to stop smiling, but found that he couldn't. With Paro standing in front of him with a million dollar smile, he couldn't find the power in him to stop smiling. He felt his heartbeat quicken as he continued to stare at her. The warmth within him radiated just like the glow on her face. Rudra felt that he could stand there forever, just looking at her. Was this what happiness felt like?

For the first time in forever, Rudra Pratap Ranawat felt happy.

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Okay, so you know this chapter warmed your heart a little bit. Tell me what you think by leaving your comments and feedback below! I'll post once I see it!

You've waited fourteen chapters for this next update...and it's finally here. The moment we've been dreading.

Next update: Tejawat gives THE order.

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