You bring together lazy readers like me and critical readers who look forward to praise your drabble in same number of words you use!! Well you challenge both parties and have them introspect their respective intellectual capabilities, no wonder you are the new sensation around the forum!!
About your masterpieces,
Eluded
I had to actually look into a dictonary to get the exact meaning, this pretty much proves how lazy and inexperienced I am. If I may, I must say what an apt depiction of the current track that may or may not take place, their undeniable bond even when they are close yet so far and you provide a deep insight into the things going on in their minds. On one hand you have her being conscious of her feelings, needs and on the other hand him totally lost in deep sleep unaware of the things that are to follow.
Hope it's at least 1% close to what you actually wanted to convey.
Fancies
Wow, that truly ensures the multiple use of the word and bring a whole new meaning to it. The way you have used a simple word as this and intertwined it perfectly with the character's feelings has left all of us spell-bound. You can see the desperation, the guilt, the terror, the transition of character via his thoughts alone. I guess actions needn't be the sole reason to come up with an in depth analysis of a person's behaviour, his thoughts, his cravings are purely evident just like that with things going on his mind.
You have a knack for making us all fancy your undeniably one of a kind drabble!! That too less than 200 words, I am sure aap school ke time mein, word-limit questions mein top karte hoge!!
Heartbeats
Buses and heartbeats in one sentence leaving us all is the work of a genius.
A thousand crickety old buses could rattle in her ears for her entire life just as long as in the back of her mind, his steady heartbeat resounded.
This was totally an icing on the cake. Your intricate analysis of a simple thing like the rattling of the bus having an emotional connection with the character is pure bliss, which may seem like a misery for the character. This proves that her religious beliefs and her sacrifice are put to a test which is something that is inspiring, let alone heart breaking at the same time. The lengths to which she is willing to go to have her better half be happy, safe and content is an eye-opener to the determination of her beliefs and showcases her emotional strength.
You seem to have a woven her path of depature with mythology in an splendid and intelligent way, of course with a little bit of dhak-dhak!!
Heartbreaks
It took him more than 2 days to realise that she was missing? No wonder he was heartbroken and intro-specting. Rattling of buses bothering both the characters is a subtle and yet undeniablely clever way to describe the bond between them. His "jaanwar" jaise nature is hinted when you mention the way he the agitated, once detached person is relentlessly searching in his surroundings for her - the who he is truly and madly in love with.
Childhood flashbacks was an unexpected and thrilling twist, he clearly is not the same person anymore, he regrets and is in agony, feeling things he never felt before for anyone, let alone all the girl who he now deeply respects.
Love the way he battles between his emotions by first cluelessly searching around for her and then in the end closing his ears and mind, reminding him of her depature.
Just to mention, you haven't mentioned his profession, so I guess looking forward to that in the aane wale drabbles!!
Well I guess jitne time mein I typed this out, you must have pretty much worked on 10-15 drabbles. So hope you liked the response and would love to be a part of your Fan following!!
Anupamaa
