Posted:
First of all - WELCOME to IF! You have just opened the door to a long-term addiction 😆.
I have to agree with Zara and Navin. You have very nicely captured Paro's view, her thoughts, her longing to belong and be wanted. There are of course many possibilities on why Rudra is behaving this way. But if you intend to stay true to the character from the show, then one thing is for sure - the tadap is on both sides and immense guilt on one.
I love angst. So do please continue.
And can i give a teensy-weensy bit of suggestion? <Don't mind. Please. I write too, and have struggled with this myself and hopefully overcome it. But i do tend to notice it since its such an easy trap for writers to fall into> Don't change the tense or person mid-way through the story-telling in the same part. The beginning and Kakisa-Maithili portions were in 3rd person but Paro's section was not. Even though the tale is being told in 3rd person and not first person. Again, no intentions of upsetting or offending you. You write really well and have a good grip on your characters.
I have to agree with Zara and Navin. You have very nicely captured Paro's view, her thoughts, her longing to belong and be wanted. There are of course many possibilities on why Rudra is behaving this way. But if you intend to stay true to the character from the show, then one thing is for sure - the tadap is on both sides and immense guilt on one.
I love angst. So do please continue.
And can i give a teensy-weensy bit of suggestion? <Don't mind. Please. I write too, and have struggled with this myself and hopefully overcome it. But i do tend to notice it since its such an easy trap for writers to fall into> Don't change the tense or person mid-way through the story-telling in the same part. The beginning and Kakisa-Maithili portions were in 3rd person but Paro's section was not. Even though the tale is being told in 3rd person and not first person. Again, no intentions of upsetting or offending you. You write really well and have a good grip on your characters.
