FF: Partial Amnesia Pt 31Pg145-6th Dec - Page 28

Created

Last reply

Replies

1.1k

Views

131k

Users

67

Likes

2.5k

Frequent Posters

Nisha2 thumbnail
20th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago

Beeni apologies for taking sooo long to read and comment on this FF. I I'll try to be more frequent in commenting from now on. 😊

Honestly the FF is awesome, the way you have portrayed the characters be it the khandelwals or Geeta and Mittul, is amazing, and it truly feels like this is the way they would have behaved, had he track been incorporated in the show. The way you have depicted Khanak's battle with her heart and head, the pull she feels towards Shaan, and Shaan's pain, and his eagerness to help Khanak to remember the past one year is fabulous, one really feels for them. I also like the fact that Khanak is slowly remmebering the past, it is all very subtle, and comes across as realistic. But the best part of it is that despite some aspects being serious, you have added some dialogues which make one chuckle. 👏

I love you style of writing, and thanks for taking out the time to write this FF, I have really enjoyed reading this FF, and I am looking forward to reading the next part very soon, till then loads of love. 🤗
Oh the FF has made me really nostalgic, that I think I'm going to spend some time watching some of the old scenes, lol. 😆
The_May_Rose thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 13 years ago
Hi Beeni...
I wanted to share something...Watching the September 2010 episodes, I began wonder about the pro and cons, of Khanak staying quite about Mugambo and Madhavi..I personally feel, Khanak was right in the long-term...Because she kept the bitterness out of the relationships of the family...
But have the secrets ever crossed your mind, while writing the FF?😊...i.e. Do you plan to reveal any truths to Shaan as Khanak remembers more?...Just wondering😳😊...
OlicityFan thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 13 years ago
long time nisha! u hardly come here! :@

beeni...or rather busy-bee! updating any time soon?
tofeeees thumbnail
20th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: The_May_Rose

Hi Beeni...

I wanted to share something...Watching the September 2010 episodes, I began wonder about the pro and cons, of Khanak staying quite about Mugambo and Madhavi..I personally feel, Khanak was right in the long-term...Because she kept the bitterness out of the relationships of the family...
But have the secrets ever crossed your mind, while writing the FF?😊...i.e. Do you plan to reveal any truths to Shaan as Khanak remembers more?...Just wondering😳😊...




Hey May how are you doing?😊 Yes May infact I did not only think about Shaan finding out the truth from Khanak about Natasha's father and Madhvi, but I also WROTE a paragraph on it in part 9. When shaan is sitting with Khanak and she is recalling stuff. But then I deleted the paragraph because I didn't want to take the story towards, like you said, bitterness in relationships again. Because I had built upto Shaan's friendship with Natasha and i didnt want Shaan to have sour feelings about his whole past and that indirectly affect his realtionship with Natasha because she is going to play a major part in the FF agay 😊 Same with Madhvi :) But i do plan to keep the essence of the letters alive in a good way 😊 Also, I want to focus on the Shanak falling in love part again purely and how everyone, in their own way, tries to bring them together :) how some ways work, and some don't 😆

Also May I was wanting to ask you something since a while :) I remember when everyone wanted a Partial Amnesia track you didnt want one. I dont remember the exact reason why you didnt want one but I just wanted to ask you kay the way I am narrating the story abhee , if that was shown in the show, would you still not have wanted one? 😳I just want to know whether I'm being realistic or too dramatic with this FF. do let me know as your opinion means a lot😳
tofeeees thumbnail
20th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 13 years ago
@Ammu: I haven't completed writing the next part. I've started but I guess i'll complete it at work tomorrow :) I'm sleepy abhee so I won't be able to do justice to it :) So ermm i guess you can expect a part tomorrow evening. If not then day after! :)
The_May_Rose thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 13 years ago
Hello Beeni🤗...I am fine, hope you are also well😊...Miss the regulars on the forum...But, I have been busy and work & home too...My comments are in green😊...

Originally posted by: tofeees




Hey May how are you doing?😊 Yes May infact I did not only think about Shaan finding out the truth from Khanak about Natasha's father and Madhvi, but I also WROTE a paragraph on it in part 9. When shaan is sitting with Khanak and she is recalling stuff. But then I deleted the paragraph because I didn't want to take the story towards, like you said, bitterness in relationships again. Because I had built upto Shaan's friendship with Natasha and i didnt want Shaan to have sour feelings about his whole past and that indirectly affect his realtionship with Natasha because she is going to play a major part in the FF agay 😊 Same with Madhvi :) But i do plan to keep the essence of the letters alive in a good way 😊 Also, I want to focus on the Shanak falling in love part again purely and how everyone, in their own way, tries to bring them together :) how some ways work, and some don't 😆
That makes pefect sense Beeni...I guess I mentioned it becuase I always wanted ShaNak to have a proper heart to heart...But at the same time, I knew when it came to ShaNak, words weren't always needed...They understood things differently and never relied on putting the blame on others...That is one of the things which is so special about them...As usaul I am cuaght between what I want to see and what I know ShaNak to beEmbarrassed😆...
Also May I was wanting to ask you something since a while :) I remember when everyone wanted a Partial Amnesia track you didnt want one. I dont remember the exact reason why you didnt want one but I just wanted to ask you kay the way I am narrating the story abhee , if that was shown in the show, would you still not have wanted one? 😳
If they had shown it like this Beeni, then absolutely!😃...I can't remember my exact reasons either😕Embarrassed...But it was due to the fact that, I didn't want RBO to take a 'saas bahu' track...Amonge other things such as, ShaNak seperation, Mugambo tricks, uncertainty as to how our CVs would handle it...I wanted them to explore the 'pregancy complication' , which had potential for ShaNak angst...But that was abandoned...I liked, or grew to like the new phrase too...But they should have worked on Khanak's work, ShaNak's struggle etc and not had the love square stuff...But if they had progressed the way it was shown in the last week of Odhani, then I would have been fine with Simran and Adi...As long as ShaNak were the focus, that all I wanted😊...
.
I just want to know whether I'm being realistic or too dramatic with this FF. do let me know as your opinion means a lot😳
The way you write is perfect for ShaNak Beeni⭐️👍🏼...And the treatment and discription of the PA is believable...I can wait to see how you progress with it😃...Don't worry about how seems though...We love the way you write, so just write the way you think is best...

Edited by The_May_Rose - 13 years ago
-YasharanArshi- thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago

Have you forgotten to Update ?????

Or is the Partial Amnesia Getting to you tooo??
:P :P :P :P
tofeeees thumbnail
20th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 13 years ago

Hello guys here is part 10 :) and lol Shalu the Partial Amnesia did not get to me as you can see! Hopefully you guys will enjoy this update.😊 Please let me know how it was. I thought I'd try something different and I wanted to see if it works :/ So do leave your comments 😊 Love you all and thank you for lovign this FF :D

Part 10

5th December 2011, 15:00

"Excuse me!"Natasha said to Shaan accusingly as soon as Khanak left. "We were supposed to have a major fight!"

"Let's have it now!" Shaan said decisively, aiming and missing to throw his tissue in the dustbin.

"Lets have what now?" Geeta entered Shaan's room. Natasha looked at her and frowned a little. Just then Natasha's phone rang and she went out of the room to attend it. Geeta looked at Shaan questioningly. " What are we having now, Shaan?"

"Oh I'm supposed to have a fight with Natasha?" said Shaan and when Geeta looked confused he just shrugged and said "Urghhh, don't ask!"

Natasha entered the room in a rush. "Shaan!! I need to go! My saas is taking me to this boutique to get clothes for the wedding!!"

"What?! But what about our major fight?" whined Shaan, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

"Later!" and saying this Natasha left in a rush.

Shaan made a face and sat down on his bed. He looked at the wall clock. "It's time to give Khanak her medicines" he said getting up.

"It's okay I was there I reminded her-----I just met her outside----" said Geeta, sitting on the sofa. "She wants to take a nap. She looked annoyed for some reason" she said, raising her eyebrows.

"She did?" Shaan said surprised, smiling, remembering Natasha's lecture on how it was a good sign that Khanak was getting jealous. It cheered him up.

"So? Will you bother to tell me why you have to have a fight with Natasha?" Geeta asked sniffily. Unlike Mitul, she did not like the idea of Natasha living in Shaan's house, right under his wife's nose. She was only a learning neurologist but she thought that even a dum person would know that it was NOT safe to have an ex-fiance in the house along with a wife! That was just too absurd.

"Yaar----I'm trying to recreate the night we bonded----me and Khanak-----so that Khanak remembers----and since I fought with Natasha-----we need to fight again-----get it?"

"Whatever----" Geeta said rolling her eyes. "She just needs an excuse to get out of this house---and I think that she really should". Shaan frowned but didn't argue. "So? What's the plan?" she asked.

"I told you what the plan is!" Shaan said.

"No you didn't! You just said you're having a fight! And then?"

"Then what?" Geeta stop annoying me!" Shaan said picking up a tissue.

"Are you trying to tell me you have not planned this out?" Geetas asked, her eyes widening.

NO!" said Shaan in a tone that said Geeta-are-you-insane?!

"Well I reckon you should." She said taking out a pencil and a note pad from her bag. "We need to make an outline." Shaan looked at her as though she was mad.

"Now I know why you're not married yet----" he murmered.

Geeta's eyes flashed dangerously. "WHAT did you say?!" she asked

"Get on with the outline, will you!" Shaan retorted.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

5th December 2011, 15:30

"Mom!! Main boutique ja rahee hoon! Shadi kay kapray lainay hain!" Khanak heard Natasha yell from below the staircase to Madhvi who was on the top story of the apartment. Khanak entered her room and sat on her bed huffily. She felt tired and her back ached. She was annoyed at what she had just seen; Natasha----Natasha in Shaan's room. She was also annoyed at what she had just heard. Natasha going to shop for her wedding clothes. Her wedding with Shaantanu. She sighed. Ofcourse they were getting married, she thought. They were a couple in love weren't they? And what was she? JUST a friend. Again, her mind wanted to be happy at the happiness of her friend but her heart had stooped its lowest low. Dadi entered the room as Khanak laid down on her bed, her face solemn.

"Beta dawayan kha lo----" she said to Khanak, spreading her palm on her head. Khanak felt a surge of affection for her and smiled. She took the medicines from her and had them in a jiffy. "Sub ki tabyat kharaab hain-----yahaan tum----wahaan Shaan----" Dadi smiled.

"Natasha jee un ka khayaal rakh rahi hain na?----" Khanak asked trying to sound casual, but dadi caught the sadness in her voice. Dadi smiled, got up and left the room, leaving Khanak's question unanswered. She lay down, thinking. If Shaan was getting married to Natasha, then what was SHE doing in this house?

_____________________________________________________________________________________

5th December 2011, 17:30

When Khanak's eyes opened, it was still evening. She looked at the watch. 05:30 PM. She frowned, rubbed her eyes, sat up, and saw Shaan standing near the window, his guitar in his hand. He noticed Khanak awake and smiled at her. Khanak looked at him blankly.

"I got you fruit----" he said pointing to the side table. Khanak turned to look around. It was her favourite grapes and oranges. Her heart leapt. Just looking at the beautiful fruit made her cheer up, just as she realized how hungry she was. "Khao Khanak---" Shaan said warmly and came to sit next to her on the bed.

"Aap yahan kya kar rahay hain?" Khanak asked, looking down, a bit uncomfortable at Shaan's composure. How the heck did HE manage to keep himself all composed while her heart fluttered madly whenever he was near her? She thought.

"Main ja hee raha tha----Err meri ganay ki recording hain----" he said pointing to his guitar. "Socha tumhay pehlay fruit deta jao----Khao na---" he picked up the plate and placed it on Khanak's lap. He grinned inwardly. Normally she would have forced him to peel the oranges for her and then feed them to her. It was her way of being fussy with Shaan but since she didn't remember that, Shaan was saved the irritating peeling and feeding session. Khanak, however, did not peel and just looked at Shaan, wondering. Shaan looked back and raised his eyebrows.

"Aap mera itna khayaal kyun rakhtay hain?" she asked softly.

Shaan looked at her, pursed his lips, took a deep breath and said nothing. There he was again! At the receiving end of a question that he HAD the answer to but that he could not give. After much thought he managed something that he felt made no sense. "Kyunkay----kyunkay tum meri zimmedari ho----" he said, not looking at her. Khanak just stared back at him and finally understood. The reason Shaan was taking so much care of her was not because she was his wife, or his friend or whatever; he was taking care of her because he owed her; he owed her his life! And he was only repaying her for saving it. The thought made her feel miserable. This was all to their relationship. A major dead end.

"Aap yay bajatay hain?" Khanak asked pointing towards the guitar, attempting to change the topic that made her feel sad. She knew why the instrument seemed familiar. It was because Shaan must have played it a lot before she had her accident. Suddenly she felt it was a stupid question.

"Haan----"Shaan said excitedly, getting himself in position with the guitar. "Yay TANPURA hain!" he looked at Khanak slyly. Khanak giggled, amazed that Shaan knew the hindi counterpart of the instrument. "Seekho gee?" Shaan asked, wondering if it was the right time to put into action Point 1. Of the outline that Geeta had made.

Khanak looked at Shaan in surprise, with a smile lingering on her lips. Even in his excitement, he didn't fail to register that she looked beautiful when she smiled. 'Please say yes, please say yes Please say YES' Shaan prayed silently. And just then Khanak smiled completely and nodded. 'YES!!!' Shaan jumped in excitement in his mind but otherwise tried to look composed as he got up and went over to move behind Khanak, his conscience dancing at his achievement to finally be close to Khanak.

"Agay ho Khanak----" he said in a fake serious tone, trying to sound all professor-ly as he sat behind Khanak on the bed and placed his guitar on her lap from the back, dislodging the plate of fruits as it fell towards the side of the bed.

"Oho---" Khanak saw the fruits roll on the bed and tried to free herself from the trap of the guitar to clean up the mess but Shaan pulled on the guitar so hard, Khanak was pushed back, her back hitting Shaan's chest. She felt herself blushing deeply and was thankful her face was turned away from Shaan

"Baad main utha laina! Abhee tumhay seekhna hain kay nahi?---" Shaan said feeling accomplished already as he took Khanak's palm into his and moved them towards the guitar strings. Khanak flinched at his touch, then relaxed as she felt the warmth of those fingers around hers. Never had a guy touching her like this had had such an effect on her. But then again no guy HAD ever touched her, she thought; well except for Suraj, but even when he had held her hand her heart did not flutter so crazily as it did then. Shaan felt Khanak's heart beat rising too. He got hold of her second hand and placed it on the headstock of the guitar. Khanak's hands obeyed the movement of Shaan's hands as though they were in a trance. With both her palms a captive of her 'teacher's' palms, there was little she could do to concentrate on the subject of her learning. Shaan caressed Khanak's fingers on the headstock on the pretext of making her fingers move and Khanak closed her eyes, her senses completely going haywire. He slowly intertwined his fingers in hers where the strings were and made her pull on the strings, making a "Tunggg" noise. Shaan chuckled, enjoying the session immensely as he felt Khanak's body going all rigid at his touch. He could smell the orange flavoured shampoo she had used and was instinctively drawn to her hair, closing in on it. His grip on her fingers loosened as he began to inhale what he had so dearly missed; Khanak, her hair, her fragrance, everything about her. Khanak too, did not realize when Shaan had let go of his grip on her hands and was pushing herself towards Shaan's chest, just as she had done when the session started. Except that THAT was by mistake, but this was intentional? As the thought hit her she moved forward abruptly, stealing away Shaan's fragrance, and in the process opening her mouth in horror as she saw Natasha standing at the doorway, her face screwed up and her lips thinner than usual. Shaan saw her too and smiled inwardly. 'Thank God you're here! Another minute longer and I would've totally gone out of control' his eyes spoke to Natasha's, making Natasha bite back a laugh.

Shaan recalled Geeta's Outline ' Mission Shaan and Khanak back together!

Part A

1. Find a REASON to fight with Natasha: CHECK!

2. Fight with Natasha: 'ON ITS WAY', Shaan thought happily.

3. Natasha leaving the house: Coming up!

___________________________________________________________________________________

5th December 2011, 18:00

"YAY KYA HORAHA HAIN?!!" Natasha said loudly and dramatically, placing her hands on her waist. Shaan panicked. Not at the fact that Natasha was yelling but she was doing it MUCH too dramatically, bordering towards overacting. Shaan tried to tell her in eye language to tone it down but just then Khanak looked at him, panicking for real.

"Natasha jee! Kuch nahii----Wohhh Shaantanu toh buss mujhay Taanpura bajana sikha rahay thay" Khanak said innocently, getting up.

Shaan took the opportunity of Khanak talking to make eye contact with Natasha. But Natasha was busy trying to muster up a ridiculously vehement expression that made Shaan want to hit his head against the wall. "Natashaaa----" Shaan said warningly, trying to explain in sign language again.

"BUSSS!!" Natasha raised an erect palm in the air and said loudly. "Shaan tum meray saath-----MERAY SAATH AISA KAISAY KAR SAKTAY HO'"

"Nahi Natasha jee aisa nahi hain-----" Khanak interrupted, scared.

"Natasha-----aisa hee hain------" Shaan said and Khanak looked at Shaan in horror. 'What was he doing?!! 'mera mutlub-----aisa NAHI hain----bilkul theek kah rahi hain Khanak------aisa kuch nahi hain----" Shaan was getting too distracted by Natasha's overacting to realize what he was saying. If this didn't stop, Khanak would surely get very suspicious.

"TUM NAY MUJHAY DHOKA DIYAAA-----MERAY PYAAR KA YAY SILA DIYAA----Yay sub sunnay say pehlay main MAR KYUN NAHI GAEE?!" Natasha continued to create a racket that would have been the scene of the century in a Bollywood B Grade movie.

"Sunnay say pehlay?---" Khanak asked confused. "Laikin aap nay aisa kya suna? Aap nay toh sirf DEKHA na? " she asked Natasha.

Shaan hit his hand on his head and mouthed "What the heck are you doing Natasha!!" to her.

Natasha panicked. "HAAAN! Wohi!! Yay sub DEKHNAY say pehlay main mar kyun nahi gaee!!?" she feigned crying. Shaan, according to plan, went up to her and grabbed her by the shoulders. Khanak felt a pang of loathing when Shaan touched Natasha.

"Natasha! Main aur Khanak toh buss----" he said loudly and when he had made sure that Khanak was looking the other way he whispered vehemently to her "God Natasha you're overacting!! Sahi say acting karo! Urghhh!"

"It's not my fault" Natasha hissed back "This was what was in Geeta's script okay! Who told her to make a bloody outline?!"

"She was only trying to help!" Shaan hissed back.

"Yea she's helping and I'm just partying here, haina?!" Natasha shot back.

Khanak looked at the two hiss-fighting and felt she was some intruder. She had just turned her head away again when she heard another "BUSS!!"

Natasha continued to be dramatic, more now than before. "Busss! Main ub iss ghar main NAHI rah sakti! Jahan mera PYARR meri izzat nahi karta----wahan mera asar nahi hain!"

"Basarrr!" Shaan hissed through gritted teeth.

"Haan wohi! Basar nahi hain! Mera iss ghar main bilkul basar nahi hain!" Natasha said turning around.

"Laikin Natasha jee! Aaap aisay kaisay ja sakti hain? Aap toh Shaantanu say pyaar karti hain?" Khanak said. "Agar koi jayay ga toh wohh----main hoon!"

Shaan whipped around. He looked at Natasha. 'NOW what do we do?' he said to her in eye language.

"Nahi Khanak!" Natasha raised her hand erect in the air again and Shaan flipped his head backwards wearily, dreading what was coming next. "Main ja rahee hoon! " and before Khanak could say another word, she left the room.

"Natasha jee? Khanak called back after her, thoroughly irritating Shaan.

'What was her problem? He thought. Why did she have to be goody two shoes? Dil main toh Khanak bhee yahi chahtee hain kay Natasha chalee jayay! Faltu ki acting kar rahee hain!'

Khanak looked at Shaan guiltily and then looked down. "Rokay unko Shaantanu---" she said again. Shaan looked at her exasperatedly and they both went outside the room. But when they reached the hall Natasha was in the car, her suit cases on the roof of the car.

"Un ka samaan PEHLAY say bandha hua tha?" Khanak asked wondering and confused.

Shaan wondered how many more loop holes in the 'plan' he'd have to go through before Khanak fell in love with him again.

Mission Shaan and Khanak back together!

Part A

1. Find a REASON to fight with Natasha: CHECK!

2. Fight with Natasha: CHECK! (Note: Acting is NOT for Natasha)

3. Natasha leaving the house: CHECK! (Note: How the HECK did Khanak become so darn intelligent?! Be careful in Part B of the Outline!)

______________________________________________________________________________

Edited by tofeeees - 13 years ago
-YasharanArshi- thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
Hahahhahahahahaha !!!
Hahahahahahhahaahha ... Hahahahhaahahhaahhahahaa !!!!!
Hahahahaahhaha hahahahaa haahahahahahaha !!!!
I am ROFLing reading the Shaan-Natasha FIGHT !!!!
🤣
🤣
🤣
🤣
🤣
🤣
🤣
🤣
🤣
🤣
🤣
🤣
🤣
🤣
-YasharanArshi- thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago

Beeaanss !!!!

Brilliant ... Absolutey Brilliant !!!!!!
BIG BIG BIG HUG for added the Guitar Lessons Part !!!!
Loved IT !!!!
*helped wipe out the Shaan-Simran guitar lessons ka memory*
Such an Intense Moment ... And you made it completely Hilarious With PERFECT dialogues ...
Shantanu , Khanak and Natasha - Perfectly In Character !!!!!!
Beaaanss ... YOU Write SOOO WELL .. Muaaah

I am going to read this one AGAIN !!!
Sigh !!!!!
Love you ... You know that Right !
Muaaah

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".