~*.::CHAPTER 28::.*~
- the one in which he wants to kiss her-
Khanak smiled as she sat on the sofa and handed Shantanu the popcorn, 'so which movie tonight?'
'oh the best, I bring you the lord of the rings trilogy, one of my favourite movies,' he said excitedly.
'oh look at that.'
'what?'
'a geek resides within Shantanu Khandelwal, who would have thought?'
'yes, well I am pretty good at hiding him, am I not?'
'the very best.'
They both smiled as Khanak took the remote of the player and pressed play.
'You need to hear the beginning, it is important.'
'I will, if you shut it.'
'fine.'
Khanak fiddled with her dress, and looked sideways at Shaan, who was engrossed in the film, she looked back at the television, as she bit her lip in nervousness.
'what do you want to tell me Kapoor?'
'Uh?' she looked at him, surprised.
'What do you want to tell me?'
'how do you know if I want to tell you something?'
'you are fidgeting and you are biting your lips, and you do that, in two situations. First, when you want to say something, but are not being able to, or second, you did that when I was about to kiss you, and since I am not doing the later. So I know you want to tell me something.'
Khanak blushed slightly, 'you know, it is really freaky, how much you know me.'
'spill it,' he paused the movie.
'fine- uh...Dad called today.'
Shantanu sat up, 'and?'
'I didn't take the call...'
'Khanak you can't avoid him forever, you do know that right?'
'Yes! I know that... but I don't know, what to say to him,' she sighed, 'I just don't...'
'he is your dad, just make the call, and I am sure, you will know exactly what to say.'
'No I won't, I tried, I just couldn't say anything! I need more time.'
'It has been two months! the poor guy needs a break! You should talk to him!'
'You know, I have invented a new game?'
'what?!'
'yes, you know what it's called?'
'I would love to know, but we are talking about your dad....'
'It is called, "Khanak stares at the phone", in it, I stare at the freaking phone, thinking about calling dad, and I end up, never calling him, most of the time and when I do call him, I just cut the phone, when someone picks up.'
'wow, you are so scared, I never realised.'
Khanak narrowed her eyes, 'I am not scared, just you....'
'what? Petrified?'
'No! Just...'
'Ooo! Mortified!'
'NO! I just am not ready yet!'
'I give thee three weeks.'
'what?!'
'three weeks, and then you will talk to him on the phone, in front of me.'
'what are you my warden?'
'well someone has to be.'
She narrowed her eyes again, as she bit her lip, 'five.'
'three and a half.'
'four.'
'done,' he extended his hand.
Khanak's eyes smiled as she shook his hand, 'deal.'
'great, now, lord of the rings.'
He pressed the play button and sat back, while Khanak kept looking at him.
'Khanak, I know I am very sexy, but movie udhar hai.'
'tum apne aap ko bahut samajhte ho na?'
He nodded in agreement, 'bahut.'
She smiled and kept her head on his chest, 'Thanks Shaan, you really are the absolute best!'
He smiled as he held her, feeling the now familiar giddy happiness rising within him.
'you are the best-est friend ever!'
His smile faded, gayi bhes paani main! Best friend! main iska friend banker hi mar jaaonga! Zia! Jaldi aa! Sirf tu mujhe advise de sakti hai! He thought as she cuddled to him and took the popcorn, watching the movie intently.
*~*~*
'Zia, have you ever been in love with someone, who thinks of you as nothing more than a friend?'
'Nope, but then again, this is me we are talking about, not you, so who is it?'
'No one, I was just...'
'No one I was just,' she mimicked him then smiled and put her hand on Shantanu's shoulder, 'if you're pretending is over, tell me.'
'It's really no one...'
She narrowed her eyes, 'is it your new girl best friend that you talk about so damn much?'
Shantanu blushed, as he tried to suppress a smile.
'Oh my god, you are acting like twelve year old, whose crush just walked by, man up Shantanu Khandelwal!'
'haha, very funny!'
'I know, I am a genius, now what was your problem again?'
'What problem?'
'The problem where you are basically stuck in the "friend zone" while you want to be in the "boyfriend zone".'
'Oh yes, how did I forget?!'
'Well, you were too busy blushing.'
'You won't forget that, will you?'
'Ah, not till the day I die.'
'hmm... anyway, so her name is Khanak.'
'I know that, spill more.'
'I love her, a lot, I don't think I can live without her..'
'spill less, you know how too emotional things, creep me out..'
'sorry, forgot I was talking to the heartless queen.'
'I will ignore your lame attempts at cracking a joke, and tell you to spill beans about why you, Shantanu Khandelwal. The quintessential knight in shining Dior, the man who ever girl wants and who every girl's mother warns her against is having a problem with a woman?'
'well, she broke up with her boyfriend, not two months ago, and Tashu her best friend moved to Mumbai, and she is working with her ex, while her relationship with her father is still hanging by a thread, and ...'
'hold up! Take a breath, and wow, you are in loooovvvveee Shantanu Khandelwal! I really missed this romantic silly side of you! Welcome back!' she hugged him.
'well thank you.'
'ab, take me to a coffee shop, and we can continue hearing out your little romantic saga, but I need some espresso, before I put myself through that.'
The two friends smiled and made their way to the nearest coffee shop.
*~*~*
'This is a sorry excuse for coffee!'
'That is all they have,' Shantanu looked up, 'and, don't be mad at me.'
'Why would I be mad at you? You haven't made this horrid coffee.'
He got up and looked behind her; Zia turned around, and stared in horror as Rohan approached them.
'Rohan Mehra, this is absolutely not a pleasure,' she said with a smile.
'Who said meeting you is the highlight of my day Ziana Chauhan.'
'Oh but it is, since your life is so disdainful, that, I am pretty much the best thing that happened to you today, because I am sure the rest of it was filled with files.'
'Well I prefer the files to you.'
'Of course you do, files don't tell you the truth that you are an overbearing insufferable bore.'
'That is exactly why you love make up so much don't you? It helps you hide the ugly heartless tyrant within.'
Zia narrowed her eyes, as Shantanu stood between them, 'now don't kill each other, please!' he requested.
She looked at Shantanu and sighed, 'Oh fine!' and sat back in her chair, as Rohan and Shantanu hugged briefly before taking their seats.
'Now I have called the two of you because I need advice.'
'About what?' asked Rohan.
'You want to take romantic advise from the most un-romantic person on earth aka Rohan Mehra?'
Rohan clenched his jaw and took a deep breath, ' I am not unromantic, you can ask my girlfriend.'
'Oh! The one who dumped your sorry ass?' she asked with a smile.
'Zia!' Shantanu said in an irritated tone.
'What!? I tried...unsuccessfully, but I tried Shantanu.'
'you do realise I am this close to strangling you?' said Rohan, with a sarcastic smile, while indicating the distance with his thumb and index finger.
'well, you are welcome to try.'
'Guys! We are here to talk about me, not your violent impulses against each other!'
'Oh! Yes, sorry, Mehra here always brings out the worst in me.'
'And you do the same with me! But we will control ourselves; this is about you Shantanu.'
'Thank you, now I need advice regarding Khanak.'
'what advice?'
'Mehra let him speak.'
'Yes Mehra let me speak, please,' he cleared his throat, 'well, the thing is... that I love her.'
'No surprise there,' said Rohan.
'non, at all,' agreed Zia.
'yes well, I know that, but then the thing is, I didn't want to move fast, and start flirting with her,
And try to, you know...'
'woo her?' offered Zia.
'yes, woo her... but then two months have gone by and...'
'you are still stuck in the friend zone, and see no way of moving into the boyfriend zone?' she offered with a smile.
Shaan sighed, 'yes! And I don't know if I should make a move, or should I wait some more, I mean what is the appropriate time to move in, after the person has broken up, and is there an appropriate time at all! Plus then I look at her sometimes, and she is drinking water and a lonely drop falls all the way down her neck and I want to drink that drop... thus I fear that she might suspect something, because I am drooling at her! I am basically growing crazy!'
'you definitely are,' Agreed Rohan, 'most definitely.'
'men,' sighed Zia.
'what about us?' asked Rohan.
'you complicate everything!'
'no we don't.'
'oh you sound so sure of yourself Mehra.'
'Because we don't, complicate things, and I know that.'
'hmm... when you were dating, this girlfriend of yours, umm... '
'Natasha.'
'yes, Natasha, did you guys fight over socks, shoes, table covers or something equally mundane?'
Rohan looked at Shaan then at Zia, 'umm...', he shifted in his chair, 'yes, I mean she wanted me to pick up the socks, and ... your point being?'
'Point being, that you complicated the simple issue of picking up your damn socks by getting your ego in between! I mean, your socks, your smelly feet, you pick them up! But no, you have fight over it... thus proving my point men complicate everything!'
'How is Shantanu complicating this?'
'You are really asking me that? Wow, Mehra, you are a bigger dimwit than I thought you were. He is obviously complicating it, by thinking too much about it! Is it the right time? Is it not? Does she ? will she? Etc etc... He is just thinking too much into it!' she turned to Shaan, 'Shantanu my boy, you were spontaneous! What happened!? You have become a bore, and over analytical like Mehra the chump here.'
'you have to insult me every time?', asked Rohan.
'Be spontaneous!'
'And ignore me?'
'Don't think about what you feel, do what you feel!'
'And ignore me some more...'
'Will you shut up, Mehra, you are disrupting my flow of advice!'
'That advice is bad.'
'And why is that?'
'I agree with Rohan, 'coz if I do what I feel; then I will be kissing her more than half the time. And then she will definitely suspect something is up...'
Rohan smiled, while Zia glared at Shantanu.
'You have got to be kidding me! what?! Can't men think of anything else but ding dong about girls?
Shantanu burst out laughing, 'no, only with girls we are in love with Zia, only them!'
'Anyway, I have to go, I am joining my new job here...'
'thank god!' whispered Rohan.
'best of luck, Zia,' Shantanu hugged her.
'thanks Shantanu! and,' she turned to Rohan, 'I heard that, and please try and not meet me, for another month, I have overdosed on you, my mind needs time to recover from the damage, you have caused.'
'Why don't you go back to Italy and make that month- a forever, I can help Shantanu here, after all I am his best friend.'
'Oh my god, you still debating about who is Shantanu's best friend? God Rohan we used to do that when we were in college! Grow up! And anyway, we all know, that I am Shantanu's best friend,' with that she rushed out of the coffee shop, not giving Rohan a chance to retort.
'God I hate her!'
'I know!' said Shantanu laughing, 'God I missed you to almost killing each other, and then me having to be the peace maker, it is so entertaining! And distracting from Khanak.'
'I hate her! She is a selfish, self-absorbed, fashionista, who can't think beyond clothes and beauty products! And...!'
'I get it, I get it!! Now, you read the new project details?'
'Yes I did.'
'let's go through them, and I will distract myself from my love, and you can distract yourself from the one you hate.'
'good idea.'
*~*~*
'How do you know when you have fallen in love? How do you distinguish between love and infatuation! how in the world can you tell, that it is love, and not you feeling alone and wanting someone "special" in your life, so that your sorry life, doesn't seem that "sorry"?!'
'geesh Khanak, if I knew all these answers, I would have been much happier today!'
'I know Tashu, but' she sighed, 'I need your help! I need you, and you are not here! I hate you for running off to Mumbai!'
'I know you do, but... I just had to get out of there! I couldn't take being there, Rohan ke saath...'
'Tu abhi bhi usse pyaar karti hai?'
'hmm- aur shayaad hamesha karti rahoongi.'
'main bhi, Aditya ke saath, I will always love him, respect him... you know?'
'haan, he will always be a tad bit special, I just hope, someday, we both find people who become more special than the two men we fell in love with.'
Khanak smiled, 'why did you break up with him?' she asked trying to change the subject.
'I guess... I wasn't ready for the relationship. It was all too serious, and I know Rohan is fabulous, but I just am not mentally prepared perhaps. I got cold feet, in a way.'
'You are weird.'
'I know! Tu bata, tujhe kisse "pyaar" ho gaya hai?'
'Kissise nahi... I was just... thinking aloud, I guess, you can call it that.'
'thinking aloud! Please haan bakwaas maat kar, kya hua, chup chap bata!'
'Kuch nahi... bus...'
'Khanak...' Tashu said in a warning tone.
'Fine! I- I am just wondering about decisions, that i made and someone else made, and – hamesha lagta tha, ki shayaad jo decision liya hai, woh galat hai, phir lagne laga nahi, we were right, aur ab... phir se lagta hi ki, shayaad galat decision hi tha. Par- I am not sure! And I hate it! I hate doubting myself, second guessing my decisions... par, usse baat bhi kaise karoon! I mean- boloongi kya?! sorry pehla decision galat tha, cancel karte hai, aur try karte, ek aur baar!' she sighed, 'life itni complicated kyun hai!'
'wow! Tu- pehle yeh bata, who the hell are you talking about!? Aditya?'
'Tashu, forget it, alright, main solve kar loongi!'
'hmm... avoiding the answer and changing the topic, pakka Aditya hai.'
'Tashu, tu mujhe itni bhi achchi tarah nahi jaanti, jinta tu samajhti hai! Tu chod, let's talk about something else, did you hear about John Galliano!'
'hello, I know you a lot, and I am sure you are talking about Aditya! And seriously i thought, he dumped you Khanak, and I don't think he he would...'
'Tashu, will you shut up! I don't want to talk about it!'
'tune Shaan se baat ki? He is a guy, he might be able to give insight to Aditya's mind...but then uska heart...'
'kya?!'
'Kuch nahi.' Tashu cursed herself, meri problem kya hai! She thought, verbal diahorrea ho gaya hai mujhe!
'what about Shaan's heart?'
'Nothing, he never like Aditya much na, toh- his heart will break, that you want to get back with him and he has to be nice with him again.'
'O.k.a.y... anyway, forget it okay.'
'Ma'am?'
'uh, ya Meher? The new fashion editor is here, Ms. Chauhan.'
'Oh yes! That is great, I will be out on two,' Khanak silently thanked the heaven above as she went back to Tashu, 'Hey, got to go, new fashion editor and introductions are in order.'
'kaun hai? Medhavi?'
'No, Italian trend se hai Zia Chauhan, have you heard of her?'
'ya, names sounds familiar, I think Rohan talked about her once or twice.'
'Rohan?! Are you mad, how will Rohan know someone in the fashion industry?'
'I don't know, I mean remember that clearly... anyway, bye call me later?'
'No I wont, you call me this time.'
'fine, take care, and don't worry much about love, when you are in love, you get to know...'
'How?'
'you love when he touches you, you feel beautiful when he looks at you, and most importantly, you love spending time with him, and can tell him anything on your mind, anything at all...'
'okay, thanks for the tip, and bye, love you.'
'love you too.'
Khanak smiled as she stared at the phone for a second, her mother's words, written in that letter, swamped her, as she thought about him. In the last few months, she had started to see how right her mother was, how the man she was in love with was beside her, and she had let him slip away so easily... but now, she didn't know what to do, and she hated that.
*~*~*
'did you meet Zia?'
'how do you know about Zia?'
'because Ziana Chauhan is my best friend,' Shantanu replied in a matter of fact tone as he added some oregano to the chicken that was simmering on the stove.
'kab se?'
'college se.'
'but I thought- your best friend!? I thought that was Rohan...'
Shantanu smiled, 'the best friend question, Zia and Rohan have fought about it from the very beginning, she is my ... best "girl" friend, you know girl who is a friend...'
Khanak's mouth hanged open, 'hey! I thought that was ME!'
Shaan looked at her, as she added more vegetables to the pot, You! He thought, I want you to be my girlfriend, the girl who is a friend and a hell of a lot more! Perhaps even future wife, and yeh!main Khanak ka kya karoonga! Best friend hone ke liye lad rahi hai! Hai bhagwaan, mera kya hoga!'
'hello! Tum wapas apni sapno ki duniyaan main chal diye! Tumhe ho kya gaya hai, saach saach batao!'
Shantanu smiled and looked at her mischievously, 'saach? Tumhe saach suna hai?'
'haan Khandelwal, spill the damn beans will you!'
He sighed and kept his hands on his heart, 'mujhe tumse pyaar hogaya hai Khanak...'
Khanak looked at him stunned, 'Khandelwal! Main tumse tumhari problem pooch rahi hoon aur tum mujhpar line maar rahe ho! Fine, nahi poochti main,' she got up and went towards her room.
'yaar itna bhi gussa hone ki baat nahi hai!'
She turned around, 'Shaan, bathroom.'
'Oh! Sorry, jao...'
'thanks permission ke liye.'
Shantanu saw her go and sighed, 'confession kiya, mana bhai, romantic nahi tha, par phir bhi, confess toh kiya, haina Coco! But yaar respect hi nahi hai, line maar rahe ho bolkar chale gayi... mera kuch nahi ho sakta... ab Zia hi bache sakti hai, motivate kar kar. Aur kuch nahi toh uska aur Rohan ka verbal match dekhne main jo mazza hai, woh world cup dekhne main bhi nahi hai!'
'tum apne aap se baatein kyun kar rahe ho?'
'becasue you my dear are very boring!'
'very funny,' she walked at stood next to him, and started peeling the carrots, 'by the way, why didn't you tell me about Zia before?'
'what was to tell? She was in Italy, and we didn't talk all that much...'
'so... you didn't miss her?'
Shantanu smiled as he looked up from the chicken and at Khanak, 'some is jealous,' he raised his eyebrows, as he flashed her a smile.
'No, curious.'
'curious? Okay, well- you know, sometimes you go about life, not realising how important something is, and it goes away, and you still don't realise, but then... you see it again, and when you have it back, you realise how life without it was a little dull, and how you didn't allow yourself to miss it, because you love it too, much, and if you would have allowed yourself, that realisation, then you wouldn't have been able to live! That is Zia and me, we both love each other, and yes, we take breaks and go about, do our thing, and then we meet again, it is like not a day has passed!'
'that is sweet...'
'I know... I really do love her a lot, and god did I miss her...'
'love?... brother-sister type love right?' asked Khanak, trying to sound absolutely casual about it.
'brother-sister! Hell no! We dated for about exactly two months in college, so seeing her like a sister, is-weird!'
'dated? I thought you dated Aisha.'
'yes well, Zia and I dated before that,' he smiled, 'she dumped me, saying "you are too much emotional for me!' he laughed, 'and even now when I say something emotional she points it out and tells me, how freaking her out!'
Khanak laughed, 'oh! Joy! So- so Zia and you are very close right?'
'oh yes!'
'hmm... fabulous!'
She went back to peeling the carrots.
'you okay?'
'yes, I am fine, perfect actually.'
Shantanu looked at her and smiled, 'no you are not.'
'what did you just say!' she turned to him, he hands on her waist.
'I said you are not perfect,' he repeated as he turned to her too.
'what do you mean! That was, is very rude Shantanu Khandelwal! And...'
'Shh...'
He took steps towards her, as a flirtatious smile spread across his lips.
'sh...' Khanak cleared her throat, 'Shaan tum kya kar rahe ho?'
He didn't answer, but bent down his face at level with hers, he slowly moved his hand to her face.
Khanak felt her breath quicken, and the air around her turn hot, as she felt him touching her hair.
He smiled, and for a second his eyes fell on her lips, he caught his breath, as the realisation that he was so close to her hit him. He felt the urge to close the difference between them, he felt the need to kiss her, to feel her lips against his. He looked back into her eyes, which were looking at him, with a mix of surprise, curiosity and longing.
He touched the strands of her hair, taking out a lonely thyme leaf out of her hair, brushing her cheek with his fingers in the process.
'Uh... thyme,' he showed her the leaf in his hand, as he whispered, 'now you are perfect...'
Khanak turned away, as she felt her cheeks blazing, 'uh...ahem, uh... thanks.'
'You are welcome.'
he returned to his stirring, as silence fell between them as they both gathered their thoughts.
'uh... I talked to Tashu today,' Khanak finally broke the silence.
'that's good, how is hse doing?'
'well... really good, she still misses us and Rohan, but you know, she is doing well generally.'
'good.'
Khanak looked back at him after a few seconds, 'so, you said Rohan and Zia fight, how much exactly?'
'oh! Rohan and Zia, Hate each other, since day 1! And my god! You should hear their conversations, they insult each other more than anything else!'
'I don't believe it! Rohan insulting a girl...any one for that matter!'
'Oh! Please, they are ready to kill each other! You can see it for yourself, mention Rohan once, and see for yourself.'
'Now I am curious, and fascinated.'
'well you are in luck, dad and mom are having dinner at their place tomorrow, Zia and Rohan are coming, and trust me their fighting is definitely going to be the highlight of the dinner. And imagine that, with my parents being there too!'
Khanak laughed as she remembered the countless dinners and lunches she had had with the Khandelwal family, and how each one had been more fun than the last one...
Shantanu continued telling her about his and Rohan and Zia's college days as they first cooked then ate together... as usual.
