She stood on the rock, overlooking the vast sea. She had always endured loss and pain in her life and this felt like a prick,which had hurt her so badly, in d heart. She din knew how time flowed by as well as the tears from her eyes.
Back home, he was worried for her, tried her number, but in vain. He knew she would be angry at him, shout at him, but he would endure everything, becoz he was guilty.
'Ting tong!'
It was she.
He could c she was completely wet. On normal occasions, he wouldn't left a chance to use dis opportunity, but 2day it was different. He watched silently as she moved to the bedroom. Instead of going to the bathroom, she opened the drawer and took out a piece of paper
Mustering courage he managed to say
"Khanak..u are drenched"
"yea..and thankfully everything is just wiped out."
Sarcasm was clear in her eyes.
He stood still as he saw her writing something on a piece of paper. After finishing, she handed d paper saying.
"Read it and I guess u don't have any other option than to accept it."
He was dumbstruck reading the paper.
Mr Shantanu Khandelwal,
Thank u so much for opening my eyes and showing me the reality. Since I don't want to make more mockery of myself, hence I would love to end our marriage within ourselves only. No, no, don't think I am going to leave this house, I can't..becoz this is in my name also.
Henceforth, we will be living as two strangers in the same roof. I promise to be a good flat partner and expect the same from you.
Mrs..oops, Miss Khanak Shah
He had no other option than to sign the paper. He knew he would be punished for his betrayal, but this was the worst punishment he could get. And he was ready, only for her sake.
Thus days passed by, with Shan and Khanak living in the same roof, but as strangers. Sometimes he longed to clear out things with her, but her stiff and uncaring attitude would force his male ego to stay silent.
12 June, 2009
It was the birthday of Mr Raheja's son.
"Excuse me ladies and gentlemen. As u can see 2day is special occasion in my life. All of u must be attributing my happiness to my son's birthday, but then there is more to it. For in my forthcoming film, there is gonna be special role, by one of my fav model, my fav actress and guess what here I am arranging a special ramp show, graced by dat lady as d show stopper! So, any guesses who that lady is?"
Shan's ears became red with the constant cheers of one name, 'Khanak'. Angrily, he rushes out of the crowd, inside Mr Raheja's house, where the models were busy rehearsing
He finally found her inside a small room. Gesturing her makeup man out of the room, he comes inside.
She was sitting on the stool, she could see his angry reflection in the mirror.
"Shan! Usko kyun bhaga diya?"
Gets up, goes towards him and says- "chalo, aab tumhi ho toh, meri hook lagado na"
Saying so, she turns her back towards him.
"ouch!"
"Itna gussa mere Shantanu ko?"
She turns towards him , lifts her right palm, is about to touch his face, but he stops her.
"What the hell is this?" He was serious.
"What? Yeh..? Gown! U know special design from.."
"Damn it! I am asking about the bloody ramp show and dat movie..U are not going to do any of these, u get that?"
His voice was commanding.
"And may I know y?"
"Because I am ur husband and I am saying so"
"U are..Not my bloody Master!!" She said with confident, looking straight into his eyes.
"And if u are done, spare me"
Saying so, she is about to go, but he stops her.
"Dekho Khanak, baat ko samjho..sawaal tumhare reputation ki hai"
Amused she stops and turns back
"Izzat?..Shantanu Khandelwal ko meri izzat ki fikar hai?..dats really strange!!" She bursts out laughing hysterically.
"Khanak!"
"Us waqt meri izzat ki fikar kaha gayi jab in front of the world, u made fun of my self respect, my identity, my emotions, made me a mockery in front of the wole world..In short, apni biwi ko pagaal sabit kar diya!"
"Khanak, I never expected it to happen dat way, I had only expressed my concern over ur health."
"Really, then mujhe pyar se samjha sakte the na, may be I would have listened."
"U weren't ready to, and I din wanted my family to suffer either..already they have, much because of me.."
"So, u literary sold me off!"
"Khanak! Don't forget how much I have looked after you in these past days, despite of controlling my emotions, my instincts! "
"U know what Mr. Khandelwal, u are one selfish dog!! U can't think of anything other than ur own self interest. When u needed to have me, u ditched ur family, never bothered abt them and now when u r saturated of ur needs wid me, u wanted to ditch me too..hai na?"
"What the hell are u talking?"
"Truth!..Sachai!"
"U are out of ur mind!" He lashed out at Khanak.
"Obviously, pagal toh main hoon hi, jo tumpe bharosa kar baithi. Mistook ur lust for me as love! When in reality u just wanted to fulfill ur physical needs."
"Khanak, just shut ur mouth!"
"No, I am not done yet..u ..u r always jealous of me, never wanted me to get d same fame as u..plus u were physically attracted to me, so marriage was d only option..hai na"
That was enough!! He could take it anymore.
Slap!!!!!!
"Get the hell out of my life, right now!! I don't need you, Khanak…"
"Shah!..Khanak Shah!! ..I don't want or need you either!"
She shouted back at him, throwing all the things as he barges angrily out of the room!
The party was the last they were together. She left his house.
The rest of the days passed away with Khanak spending time in Meghna's house, who had shifted to Mumbai with Ayan and her daughter and after cng Khanak's state, she couldn't allow Khanak to stay alone.
Khanak though din got much into depression, tried to indulge in diff activities, but still the pain of separation never escaped her eyes.
On the other hand, same was Shan's condition. But unlike Khanak, he couldn't help himself out of the depression. He lost his project, was jobless, spent most of the time at home, or bar, surrended himself to drinks, even at the expense of his health.
One day,
'ting tong'
It was Ashka. She was stunned cng d person opening the door. He was in his shorts, ruffled hair, almost torn vest.
"Shan!! What the hell is this?"
She exclaimed with astonishment seeing her brother' state.
"umm..hey Ashi, how are you?"
The brother and sister hugged each other. Looking at him, Ashi said with a concerned tone.
"Shan, have u lost it. Yeh kya haal bana ke rakha hai apna?"
"U are right Ashi, I have lost everything, sabkuch..she left me. I can't believe this is what I got days after loving her unconditionally."
Saying so, he sat on the sofa, tears in his eyes.
"No Shan, u made her leave u. Shayad I have hardly interacted with Khanak, but itna I know dat she loved you more than herself."
"Ashi, agar Khanak mujhse pyar karti toh mujhpe bharosa karti"
"Y? Y shld she trust u? tumne rakha uska trust? No.."
"wow! This is what I get to hear from my own sister after putting my own love life at stake for her."
He says in a sarcastic tone, making Ashi angry.
"Excuse me!! U don't owe me any obligations, my little brother. Kisne kaha tha tumse my life will be ruined if I don't marry Neerav. Did I ? No na, infact y do u think I left for New York, days after my engagement broke off..becoz Shan, Neerav ko jitna main janti hoon, shayad no1 knows. I know he can go to any extent in anger..kisiki jaan lena is not tough for him..N, no, still u decided to support your upcoming relations and not the existing ones!"
"Ash..Ashi, I am sorry. Main, main pagaal ho raha hoon Khanak ke bina..plzz help me, I want her back."
He almost pleads , holding her hands. She takes her hands away.
"I am sorry Shan, I know neither u nor Khanak are responsible for everything which happened, but still kahin na kahin u are responsible for ruining your own love life. I really don't have the guts nor the audacity to even beg dat girl to come back to ur life after my own brother has ruined her life, made her a mockery. I am sorry, I just can't help you."
"Ashi..I can't live alone..I.."
"U don't need to Shan. I have come here to pick you up, u are coming with me, to our house, dats it."
After showing some reluctance, Shan finally agrees to go along with Ashka, to the K-mansion.
16 Aug, 2009
Usually dat day would have been a special day for Shan and Khanak, but this time it was not. Though celebrations were taking place at K-mansion, but the one person who was the main reason for celebration, was rather aloof. That was Shantanu Khandelwal!
Leaving behind the celebrations, everything, in a subconscious state, he goes in search of his happiness, his love, his Khanak, until he comes , stumbling at a door.
"Itni raat ko kaun aasakta hai?"
Ayan shows his surprise , hearing the bell ring at 11 in the night.
"Meghna, ruko, lemme open the door"
He opens the door.
"Tum?"
He exclaims cng the person at the door.
"Yes! Shantanu Khandelwal!...i..i..came for Khanak Khandelwal..meri.."
"yahan koi Khanak Khandelwal nahi hai"
Ayan tried whisking Shan out, realizing his drunken state, but in vain as Shan forces himself inside.
"Sir, I beg you, plzz let me meet my wife."
"Maine kaha na, Khanak yahan nahi hai"
Seeing Ayan's negative reply, Shan turns his attention towards Meghna, who was standing there.
"Meghna, tum..tum janti ho na, I love my Khanak so much..plz bulao na use"
Before Meghna would react, - "Meghna! Kamre mein jao" Ayan orders.
However Shan holds her hands. Says in an soft but affirmative voice.
"I hope you don't want to play with my married life at the expense of your own!"
Fuming with anger, Ayan pushes Shan away.
"Hey! Tujhe jo kehna hai mujhse bol..meri biwi ko kya dhamki de raha hai"
Composing himself, Shan manages to say.
"let..let me meet Khanak..I know who yahin hai"
"haan hai..toh? she is here as my sister and I am def not going to allow you even in her vicinity"
"U..u can't do this..else"
"Else what..just get out"
"U can't..U.."
Before Ayan could even realize, he was threatened by a strong blow, which thankfully got stuck as a pair of tiny hands stopped Shan.
He jerked away cng the girl.
"Khanak..yeh..yeh admi, Shan aur Khanak ko alag karne ki koshish kar raha tha..yeh"
She says nothing, rather holding his hand, drags him inside her room.
Inside the room, even without giving her time to lock the door, He pulls her close to him, starts kissing on her face abruptly, sometimes on her cheeks, sometimes on her nose. Disgusted, she pushes him away.
"Tum chahte kya ho Shan? Meri zindagi ko mazak bana ke chain nahi mila? Kyun nahi jine de rahe ho mujhe?"
"Jine ki baat kar rahi ho..apne jeene ki? Yahan main har pal mar raha hoon..uska kya?"
"I am not responsible for that"
"Neither am I..nahi jeena mujhe guilt ke sath, when I have done nothing wrong. U accused me of being selfish na, then yes, I am selfish. I don't care abt any1.."
"I don't have time nor m interested to hear ur bakwaas."
She tries to go away, but he stop her. Pinning her to the wall, almost crushing her to the wall near the bed, he whispers,
"U accused my love for being lust, hai na..then yes, 2day I will show you what lust means!"
She was scared.
"U have no idea what you are saying"
"Ofcourse, I do , darling…"
"aah!..Rakhshas mat bano Shan.." She exclaims with pain as he twists her arm.
She looks at him, tears in her eyes.
"kyun? Dard ho raha hai?..even am withering in pain Khanak..pain of my love being away from my life, pain of being lonely even at my own b'day…Aab bas, Insaan hoon main, Bhagwan nahi"
She could not help feeling bad for the person standing in front of her.
" I am sorry Shantanu, par jabardasti se kuch nahi hoga na"
However her words had no affect on Shan as she found her lips crushed by his lips.
She struggled as he pulled her more closer, giving her no space to breathe. Unable to take it anymore, she pushes him on the bed.
"Tum mujhe chodke nahi ja sakti ho Khanak!"
She stopped in her track, hearing him. However as she tries to unlatch the door, his words come as a striking arrow.
"I am a part of you, saaya hoon main..u can't escape me..I know, tumhare har ek nas mein main rehta hoon..U have to come back, Khanak Shantanu se kabhi alag nahi reh sakti.."
She turned back. He was sitting on the bed , playing with the lighter in his hand.
"U love me..U love me not"
The playing wid lighter continued until it was thrown away!
"Haan..I love you!"
She sunk on the bed, crying.
He was oblivious of her tears. Pushing her on the bed, he almost crushed her with his weight.
Tears flowed down her eyes as she had no other option than surrendering herself completely to the man, who once meant the world to her, who had loved her unconditionally, but now she could see hunger, pain, passion , lust everything in his eyes, except love!
His sleep was broken with the sharp rays of the sun. Holding his head with both his hands, he sits upright, looks here and there, finds a glass of water and a tablet.
Heaving a sigh of relief, he gets down from the bed, goes to the washroom , freshens himself.
He comes to the drawing room, calling her name. He searches for her everywhere, but she is nowhere.
He goes to the kitchen, but doesn't finds her, rather the maid. It actually takes him few minutes to realize he is at Ayan's house!
"Khanak kahan hai?"
"Aap Shantanu ho?..Khanak maydam ne apko yeh chitti dene ko kaha"
Taking a envelope, neatly sealed in her pallu, d maid gives him the envelope.
"Sab Kahan gaye?"
"Videsh"
He is shocked. Before he could say anything, his phone rang.
"WHAT!! WTH!..main..main."
He rushed out of the house, driving his bike at high speed, until he reached the K-mansion, his home, only to find it in a state of lamenting, mourning.
With trembling feet, he manages to go inside, heart wrenching to see the atmosphere around him. His eyes fill up cng his the woman in white! His mother!!
"Di..Yeh..yeh..kya ho raha hai yahaan hai par"
He managed to say as Ashi came hugging him.
"dad is no more Shan!..woh hume chod ke chale gaye."
He is shocked hearing Ashi's words.
"Body ko le jane ka samay ho gaya hai, agar unka beta ho toh.."
The priest's voice reaches Shan's voice and he is about to go, but …
"Inka koi beta nahi hai!"
He is shocked!
He goes near his mother.
"Mom..yeh yeh aap kya keh rahi hai?.."
"Andar chalo.."
Despite of his protests, his mother drags him inside.
"Jis insaan ke wajeh se meri pati ki jaan gayi, main usi insaan ko apni pati ki chita ko hath bhi nahi lagane de sakti."
Saying so, she locks the door from inside.
It doesn't took him much to reminisce the happenings of the previous day. How he had lashed out at his father, in front of every1, when the latter had thrown a party for his b'day, how he had taken out the 20 yrs of pain, agony, the hatred he had developed for his father, how he had accused him of ruining his life.
He felt his heart burdened with remorse. He wanted to apologise to his father, he wanted to apologise to his wife.
After much tussle, he manages to break open the door and rushes out of the empty house.
By the time he reaches the funeral site, every1 was gone. It was only he and the burning ashes. Shock, pain engulfing his heart, he takes out the envelope, reads the letter.
'Dear Shantanu,
'my love!'
I know you are surprised cng me calling you by dat name, hai na..Ofcourse, I mean it..U are my love, meri zindagi. Shayad tum yeh soch rahe ho ki if I am angry at you..then no. Pata hai kyun?
Becoz u are my God! How can I be angry with you. Shantanu, tumne mujhe ek nayi zindagi di, pehchan diya..U gave me a reason to live, to be happy. Par, shayad, I gave u nothing in return..kya do main..kuch hai nahi mere paas, oder than my pain and sorrow. U know when u married me, it was like rebirth for me! Each and every day spent was like a dream come true!.
Dream? Yes! Everything was a dream! And one day it broke!! I came to reality. U know whats the reality? That u and me are poles apart. Ur society is completely different from mine. Haan, after d whole court thing, I did got angry at you, but then I realized you had no other option, other than supporting your family. Pyar kiya hai maine tumse, I can't c u suffering. Yesterday's happening opened my eyes.
I have always loved you, cherished d love u showered upon me. I can bear everything but can't bear hatred in ur eyes, neither can I afford to ever hate you.
No, Shan, u can't sail on both boats. I have to leave u, for your own benefit, for our love, be4 it starts deminshing and getting erased completely. Don't worry, I am not giving up my life, ur precious gift..rather am going far away from you, perhaps to some oder country.
I know its painfull for you, but plzz don't let our love, each and every moment we spent 2gether, get washed away with ur tears. Plzz, for my sake, for our sake, be happy, live ur life.
Yours and only yours'
Khanak Khandelwal
He looked blankly at the sky, which was now getting darker, filled with smoke, of his father. He could see a plane flying much above, taking away his love from him. Watching helplessly everything going away from him, he couldn't help crying his heart out.
He felt down helplessly on the rock, tears flowing from his eyes, heart withering in pain!!
She had no1 in her life, He lost every1 in his life! That was the harsh 'Truth of Love' in their life!!
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
Mangal Lakshmi
