*::.~FF Dostana~.::* OLD CHAP PUT UP AGAIN - Page 20

~CHAPTER 12~

~the one in which sealed doors break open~

'Shantanu Khandelwal! Open the damn door!'

shantanu looked at the door, as he swirled his scotch.

'shantanu I swear to god I will break this door... Or break some part fo my body in the process!'

Shantanu got up from the chair which was near the window, and went towards the door, he stood beside the door and leaned on the wall.

'Khanak just... Go away.'

the banging stopped for a second, there was silence, he hoped Khanak had gone, but she knocked again, 'Shaan please...' she said.

He looked the door and thought about it for a second. Then unlocked the door, and opened it to let her in.

Khanak, walked in and closed the door behind her. She looked at Shantanu with an eyebrow raised, 'what is wrong with you!'

'I just... Felt suffocated.'

'so you came back without telling anyone!'

'i needed a walk...'

'walk?! Really! I saw you Shaan, you ran! Like you saw a ghost! I ran after you because you looked unwell. And I left that really cute guy alone, I didn't even ask his name!'

'Well I am sorry, to have ruined your chance of sleeping with someone!' he retorted, feeling irritated.

'Shaan! What is wrong?'

'Nothing!'

'Shantanu it doesn't take to be Einstein to know something is upsetting you; otherwise you would have never said that about me! You know, I don't care about a silly guy, even though he was good looking and had... Never mind.'

Shantanu looked at Khanak, and sighed, 'I am sorry, I was out of line and rude... I shouldn't have said that.'

'stop apologizing and tell me what is bothering you...'

Shantanu looked at Khanak then leaned back on the chair, 'some doors were closed, and they burst open today...'

'what?!'

'Nothing! I don't want to talk Khanak, Please!'

'Fine!'

She turned and walked to the door and left the room, for her own, she banged her room's door shut, leaving Shantanu to his own thoughts...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::

After about fifteen minutes of recalling what had happed Shantanu got up, took his glass of scotch and walked out of the room, locking it behind him. He looked at Khanak's room, and walked towards the door, he knocked once, a part of him hoping that she would open the door, and a part hoping that she would open the door.

Khanak opened the door, 'kya hai?!' she said with irritation and a bit of anger.

'I saw Aisha...' he whispered.

Khanak stood there shocked, 'Oh Shaan...' she hugged him.

Shantanu held her tight, as he buried his face in her hair.

'You fine?'

'no, not really... when your past comes in front of you without warning, playing tonsil hockey with a Purab Sharma, how can anyone be fine?!'

Khanak laughed, as she pulled away, 'come one in.' she stepped aside for him to into her room.

'thanks, and sorry...'

'you don't need to be...'

Shantanu went and sat on the bed, as he gulped down his scotch. 'uh!'

'uff! Yahi hoga jab you gulp down scotch! Idiot! ... So you saw her in the party?'

he nodded.

'that's why you ran away!'

'yes.'

'I thought you said you had a clean breakup!'

'we did, but that doesn't mean I want to see her playing tonsil hockey with Purab Sharma!'

'now who is Purab?'

'the guy she started dating after me...'

'Shaan does it bother you that she was playing...um... Tonsil hockey with this Purab?'

'No!'

'then why did you run away like that?!'

'it was a flight or fight response, I chose flight! Can you order another one...'

'no! in this room we talk about our feelings and not drown them in alcohol.'

'god no Khanak!'

'god yes Shaan!' she sat next to him on the bed, 'and you need to do some explaining, first you said, you guys broke up 'cause you fell out of love, then you said you don't want to talk about it, and that probably she still effects you and now! This!'

'Uh! Urgh!'

Khanak sat on the bed next to him, 'you ran seeing her!'

'Khanak...'

'Shantanu,' she took his face in her hands, ' the boy who you were ran from Aisha, but the man I know you to be isn't the one to run away, he is the one to dive head first into a problem.'

'I know I should talk to her, but it's just... It's not like talking to you! I mean with you I can say anything I want to! I can shout, curse, flirt, whatever- but with her... Whatever happened I just can't talk to her...'

Khanak smiled, 'fine... fine' she put her hands up in the air in surrender, ' but you can tell me... what is it that happened, that you can't talk to anyone about it!'

Shantanu took a deep breath and looked at Khanak, 'It all began after my dad's heart attack...'

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

'Rohan! OH my god Rohan Mehra!'

Rohan turned around to be greeted by Aisha.

'Aisha Singh!'

They both hugged each other, 'god it has been so long!'

'I know, we last met in the college reunion, two years ago!'

'oh sorry where are my manners? Aisha this is Tashu, I mean Natasha my girlfriend.'

Tashu smiled at Aisha, 'hello, nice to meet you!'

'same here! God! Rohan you are a lucky man, she is gorgeous!'

Rohan held Tashu's hand, 'that she is!'

'thank you!'

'so you alone here?'

'no I am with Purab.'

'Oh you guys still going strong?'

'strong as ever! In fact woh yahi tha, he just went to get some water' uh' you here only with Tashu?'

'no, Shantanu is also here, and Khanak, our friend, they went back to the hotel an hour ago...'

Aisha smiled, so I was right, it was Shaan... 'Oh god! I want to meet him! It been four years!'

'absolutely! We guys should meet up...'

'that'll be great! Where are you guys staying?'

'the beachside resorts...'

'NO way! We just checked in there, in the evening!'

'really?'

'yes. I wonder why we didn't meet you there.'

'oh we have been out since afternoon.'

'this is such a pleasant coincidence!'

'so why not meet for breakfast?'

'that will be fantastic!'

'geat! But we have to go now...'

'really?'

'ya, I am not feeling too well.' Answered Tashu.

'why?'

'twisted my ankle... but I will b fine, just need to rest.'

'Oh! Fine then we will meet tom morning.'

'Sounds like a plan!'

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Khanak looked at Shaan as he slept like a baby on the bed, she smiled as his mouth opened, and he drooled, she then walked to the balcony with her coffee in hands. She took a deep breath, the smell of the ocean flooding her senses as she recalled what Shantanu had told her... She had thought of a few scenarios for their break up, but she had never thought of what had actually happened.

'god knows what I would have done...' she looked back into her room at Shaan's sleeping figure, ' but I would have never done what he did... I would not have had that strength in me.' She smiled, I never knew he was this strong.

She looked back at the ocean, wondering what would have happened if things would have gone differently, probably Aisha would have been Shaan's wife now... a feeling of dread settled into her heart as she imagined a life where Shantanu would have been Shantanu for her, and not Shaan. It had been just weeks, four to be precise, since they had met, and it already felt like ages ago... seeing them now, no one can guess they didn't know each other before Diwali. The thought that he would have been someone else's and just an acquaintance, just someone she knew through a friend, managed to rip her heart out.

'If Aisha would have been his wife, he probably not been on the road that night, on his way to meeting a friend, we would have just shook hands on Rohan's parents wedding anniversary, they would have never kissed. He actually wouldn't be there in the garden, and he wouldn't have been my neighbor, confidant, friend wrapped into one...' she whispered to herself, 'life is so weird... It plays out in such complicated ways.. if one thing would have been different in mine or Shaan's life, we wouldn't be here- god! Life has such weird ways of playing itself out!'

'why?'

Khanak was startled by Shaan's husky morning voice, 'God! Shaan!'

'sorry, just woke up.. where's the?'

'coffee is on the table.' He walked in and picked up his coffee, and looked at Khanak who was looking towards the sea. He hair blew, giving him the glimpse of her neck. Shantanu smiled, who could have thought, one day I will be best friends with a beautiful girl, that too in just four weeks, he thought to himself. Shantanu thought about the night he had met her for the first time, when he had walked towards her and that guy, he had never thought that he is walking towards the person who would become one of the most important people in his life, and now, he couldn't imagine a life without Khanak's innocent smile to cheer him up... without her worldly wisdom, without her comforting touch...

'kya hua?'

Shantanu looked up, 'ah.. kuch nahi.'

Khanak smiled, 'I don't believe you, you looked , like you were in deep thought.'

'yes, well I was wondering why you think- "life has weird ways of playing itself out".'

'I just thought... I mean.' She bit her lip in nervousness as she thought of the apt words.

Shaan went and leaned on the balcony railing, looking at Khanak, as he sipped his coffee.

'If... supposedly you and Aisha wouldn't have broken up, then' she probably would have been your wife, and we wouldn't have been friends, probably acquaintances 'cause of Rohan and Tashu, but not friends...'

'hmm... come to think of it- something good came out of my break up.'

'that's the way! Always think positive!'

'not early in the morning Khanak devi!'

'whatever! But... what if you see Aisha again? It happened once, it can happen again.'

'I don't know... but I hope I never have to see her again!'

'fine! Anyway, I will go get ready.'

'for?'

'Spa appointment.'

'fine, I will have breakfast with Rohan and Tashu then...'

::::::::::::::::

'I am rather nervous about this.'

'me too... after college this is the first time we will meet Shantanu.'

'do you think he will be angry? Or upset? At seeing us?'

'I don't know, he said he was fine with us... but then he never met us once he got out of college' but it wont be that bad, that you have to be nervous about it Purab!'

'hmm...'

'I am actually looking forward to it, no offence to you but I missed him. He had changed so much after what happened with his dad' but hopefully he will, is fine now.'

'hmm...'

'let's go then.'

'ya.'

Aisha's phone rang, 'shit it's Warren! I have to take this, you go I will join guys as soon as I can.'

'fine, don't be too long though.'

Aisha nodded as she pressed the phone to her ear, 'Yes Warren!'

::::::::::::::::::

Shantanu walked the corridor, on his way the hotels breakfast caf, with his hands in his pockets. He recalled the previous night, how Khanak had heard what he had to say, how she had been empathetic. He smiled as he recalled how relaxed he felt, unburdening himself to her, he had never told a soul about Aisha- a topic off limits for everyone around him, he had not taken her name ever since he had returned from United States. He had had enough of pretending to be fine with her and Purab, never telling how he really felt, never letting his anger, his bruised emotions come out in the open.

'god I hope I never have to see her again!'

He went inside the caf, hoping that they had croissants, when he saw her again, he felt like her heart had stopped beating, she as right in front of him, he stood there incapable of reacting, when she turned around and saw him. She smiled- the same smile he had fallen in love with...

'shantanu!' she said with a smile.

But Shantanu turned around and walked away, not caring that she saw him or about anything else...

:::::::::::::::::

'hey! Kya hua? Your message sounded urgent.'

'Aisha was with Tashu and Rohan.'

'what?!'

'ya, I just talked to Rohan , he had invited her and Purab.'

'wow! It seems like even god wants you to just let it all out! Just talk to her! Shout at her!'

'Khanak... I don't'

Khanak took a deep breath as she sat beside him, 'you know what Shaan now I am going to be tough! What happened was bad! Horrible! But you can't sit there and ignore the damn thing! You...you are acting like a child! Who fell once so he refuses to walk!'

'Khanak you don't know...'

'yes I don't! I can't imagine the pain you must have gone through! But that was four freaking years ago! And you are still holding on to that!'

'I AM NOT!'

'YES YOU ARE! Why do you think you cant face her! Why do you think you ran away from her the frist time around!'

'I ran away from her the second time too'' he whispered.

'two times?! See! You need to talk to her, get the damn thing out of your system!'

She held his hand, 'Shaan you are not a coward, the guy I know is a lion! Not a ' bhegi billi! Do it for me?'

'I will think about it.'

'uh!? Fine! I am going.'

'you are that upset?!'

'no baba I have to buy a gift for the three of you, new years and Christmas ke gift ek saath new years pe, paise bachane ka fool proof tareeka!'

Shantanu smiled, 'have fun.'

'I will, and you think about Aisha Singh!'

'whatever...'

Shantanu sat there watching Khanak go, as he thought about her words, she was right, he had to face Aisha...

'Hi Shantanu...'

Shantanu looked up and was greeted by the familiar, yet unfamiliar face of Aisha.

'May I?' she pointed towards the seat next to him, which had been vacated by Khanak a few minutes ago. He nodded.

They sat together in silence for a few minutes before she spoke, 'tum cafe se uhi chale gaye' kaam tha?'

'nahi' mujhe kissise Milan tha.'

'was it that important that you couldn't say hi?'

'yes, you are no longer the most important person inn my life, remember?' he retorted.

'of course..uh...'

Shantanu looked away from her, not knowing what to say, or what to do, he tried to control himself...

Aisha also sat there looking at beach, as she tugged a strand a hair behind her ear, 'uh... the girl who was here who was she?'

'Khanak.'

'oh she was it? Tashu uske bare main bahut baatein kar rahi thi, even rohan''

'hmm...', he smiled, 'she is the best''

Aisha smiled at him, hoping to break the ice. 'tum bahut badal gaye ho...' she said cheerfully, to tease him.

But it happened to have a opposite effect, Shantanu looked up at the sky, 'Char saal main sab kuch badal jaata hai, main bhi badal gaya...'

'Hmm... Jis Shantanu ko main jaanti thi, woh bahut baatein karta tha, aur tum toh...'

'batein karne ke liye kuch hona chahiye Aisha...'

'hmm... aur humare beech bahut kuch hai. Mujhe tumse bahut kuch kehna hai aur tumhe mujhse, toh phir hum chup kyun hai?'

'Because all that we have to say to each other, we should have said that four years ago, and now it just doesn't matter anymore.'

'it does... And you now it does, then why?'

'I have to go, Khanak must be waiting for me...'

Shantanu got up and started to leave.

'Shantanu...'

He stopped and looked back, 'bye Aisha,' and he walked away'

Aisha ran after him, 'Shantanu!' she shouted, causing him to stop in his tracks, 'why are you behaving like this? I thought everything was fine between us''

'fine?!' Shantanu raised his voice, but controlled himself, 'no, it's not fine, Aisha... I pretended in college that I was fine! Because I loved you too much to shout at you, be mad, angry... I blamed myself for what happened! Myself! I tried to rationalize the situation; I tried to make it less painful for myself, while you waltz around with Purab!'

'Then why did you say you were fine! Why pretend!'

'Because I didn't want to hurt you! because I loved you! while you' you ripped my heart! I mean what did you expect me to say?! That no you can't date Purab because I still love you! what the hell did you expect from me! I loved you so much that I acted fine! I pretended to be comfortable with Purab and you! because I had no choice!'

'No choice! You had choice you could have...'

'what?! Asked you to get the hell out of my life? Tell you to never show me your face!'

'Yes!'

'yes!? You say yes! Oh my god! You don't get it do you! I LOVED you! I was madly, deeply in love with you! when you broke up with me! You were the only on in the relationship who fell out of love, and you forgot to see that I loved you!'

'Shantanu...uh... I am...'

'sorry?!' Shantanu laughed sarcastically, 'do you think that's it! You break my heart! You don't even try to understand what I was going through, you CHEAT on me with my friend, and then you think sorry is enough!?'

'shantanu, I tried to understand what you were going through! But you! you ware a book which was shut tight! You would never tell me what you were feeling!'

'because you never understood!'

'I never understood!...'

'Aisha...' Shantanu closed his eyes and put his hands in front of him, 'I have had it! I need time away from you' I know we should talk this through, but not now...'

He walked away leaving a confused and fuming Aisha behind.

****

Its crisp...fresh and gripping.....

👏

try to update tmrrw!...(i noe im not being fair! but i just lyk it too much!!)

as for aisha....i want her to see shaan playing tonsil hockey wid khanak!! 😆

so many mysteries are abt to reveal hun?...and thank god it wasn't Khanak whom Shan saw kissing sumone.......wanna knw what's up exactly with this Aisha...will wait for Monday eagerly for the next part......pls update soon...

@ammu, I love being called PD........ and well I will try for tom, to update it's complicated and dostana, but no promises...........

@ manju - thanks! and yes... I lot of questions are going to get answred........

and for nitya I hve a precap- A lot of ppl are gonna be playing tonsil hockey in the coming chapters.............😆