For Zoya, life had never been the same since she came back from Bhopal, India. With every breath that she took, she remembered her time spent in the Khan Villa. The bond that she had developed with her Phoophi was no less than what a Daughter and a mother share. But now the distance between them made her heart ache. Even after being back in her own house, Zoya felt lost, as if the whole meaning of for her existence had been taken away from her. She again felt the void of an Ammi in her world, a void that had been filled by Dilshad. Zoya spent most of her time reminiscing the days she had spent with Dilshad. The love and care that had been showered on her was something that she was not going to forget for the remaining days of her life. She remembered how Dilshad had treated her like her own child, without any differenciation from her own two kids.
A smile always spread across her lips remembering how she had baked a cake for Dilshaad on days that she could read her Phoophi's eyes and could see that she was smiling only for her kids but deep within, she was as sad as Zoya always was. The expression that had crossed Asad and her face on seeing the kitchen in a mess. Zoya giggled remembering their shocked expressions seeing her do her epic dance moves to unlock her IPad. She remembered her conversation with Dilshaad in the initial days of her stay there, when she had told Dilshaad about her Ammi's death anniversary. How she had told her that she sometimes felt jealous of Mr. Khan and Najma as they had her, but, how Allah had taken away her Ammi from her and how much she missed the presence of an Ammi in her life. But, instead of feeling offended, Dilshaad had understood the pain Zoya felt and had left no stone unturned to make Zoya feel loved in that house. Her eyes always filled with tears of happiness when she remembered those days. She felt tears filling her eyes remembering the most traumatic days when her Phoophi was shot and Mr. Khan had as always, without even listening or inquiring, had put all the blame on her. How he had restricted her from even seeing Dilshaad let alone meeting her. But the most painful memory was of that one second when he had slapped her and held her responsible for his Ammi's life being in danger. She felt her cheeks getting wet remembering the pain both physically and emotionally that she had gone through.
Wiping her tears, she realized that the Khan's had become an integral part of her life, she didn't know how or when but she knew they had. She knew that they would all remain in her heart always. Since the time of that one intoxicated night she knew that there was more to her and Asad by his outright denial of it all had left her stunned. She didn't know what to believe, the fragments of her memory that ever so often flashed in front of her eyes, or what he so rudely and in a cold tone said to her. She missed them all terribly but knew that there was no way she could go back on her own. She needed a certain someone to make the first move, to call her or to take her back, but knew that this was out of the question as that person was so emotionally challenged that he would ignore it completely even if his heart leaped out of his chest and told him so. Smiling at her thought she wiped her tears she walked into her washroom to freshen up. She knew that if her Aapi would see her tears again she would taunt her about her new found attachment to the Khan's.
and her thoughts wavered towards Najma, her best friend forever.
While she sat here remembering all the good and bad times that she had spent in Bhopal, half way across the globe another heart ached due to the void that had been created not just in their house, but in their lives too. Though Asad didn't say anything, Dilshaad was well aware of the turmoil her son was in. Being the man that he had made himself, promising himself not to fall in love and never to let this emotion rule his life, but, destiny had other plans for him and his heart ditched him the moment he layed eyes on her. The only girl who had ever been able to mesmerize him, to have left him in aww of the wonderful creation of Allah that sat in front of him and who had cried her heart out in the house of God praying for respite from the pain and the difficulty that she was facing. But being the emotionally challenged man that he was he didn't express anything to anyone about what he felt and the pain and longigng that he was going through.
Zoya sat back on her bed and her thoughts turned towards her best friend forever and all the mischief that they had done together. During her initial days with Najma, Zoya had noticed how afraid she was of her Bhaijaan and how every little thing that went wrong used to scare her to deat. She laughed remembering the time when Najma had to cut her hair. Scared of the wrath of Jahanpana, how they had tried to hide it all from Asad. But then ultimately when he had seen Najma with her hair cut short, he hadn't reacted as drastically as they were expecting. But the cherry on the cake was when she had dragged Najma to watch the match and then the showdown between Mr. Khan and her. Zoya sighed remembering how he used to be so rude with her all the time, but he was always there to save her from any harm that came her way. She realized, that no matter what she thought about, her mind connected everything back to that one person and how he had reacted to every situation and everything that had happened in Bhopal.
She remembered how she had faught with those rowdy boys in Najma's college but had ended up getting arrested herself. She shook her head, laughing at her childish behavior all along in Bhopal. She some how felt that this could have been a major reason for her Jahanpana Bond to be happy that she was out of his house and out of their lives. As much as her heart wanted to remind her of the times she had spent with him on the bench talking about her life and sharing some well kept secrets of their lives, indicating that there definitely was much more to them than they both realized or confessed to, her mind would in the harshest ways possible remind her of how he never trusted her and always pushed her away. She shuddered remembering how furious Asad had become when he had lost his CD, all because she had accidentally baked it while she had been displaying her marvelous cooking skills. The way Asad had been going on at the poor punching bag had her stomach twisting with fear too and no matter how much she tried to help him, every time, everything just went wrong.
She felt herself drowning in the thoughts of her Mr. Khan. Yes he was her's, as she was the only one who addressed him with that name on the personal front, every one else just used his name or their relationship with him or "Jammy". She rolled her eyes at the thought of Tanveer, how she was extra sweet all the time. "Phophi should stay away from her. Itna sweetness ka overdose hoga everyday toh diabetes hi naa ho jaye Meri Phoophi ko. Tch". Forcing herself not to think about Tanveer, Zoya focused back on her Mr. Khan remembering their first quarrel. Who would have thought that they would end up living in the same house for so many months, fighting all the time like five year olds, as if, a battle between them was on as to who would have the last word in every discussion and in every argument. She felt her cheeks heating up remembering how she had accidentally walked in on him while he was in the shower and then her noticing his six packs.
Her 'l'am sorry Zoya" and how angry he had ultimately been due to it. She shuddered remembering how he has smashed his phone at her feet. But the next instance giggled remembering how hard she had tried to return it to him but like a stubborn child he refused to take it back. She found her eyes filling with tears again remembering how he had slapped her, with so much force when Dilshaad had been shot. Though she had forgiven him for that , she still found it difficult to come to terms that he could have slapped her just like that. But well, she had forgiven him and that was the end of it, as she had herself said that it was difficult for her to be angry with anyone for too long.
She almost stopped breathing every time she remembered her near death experience in Mangalpur. As those memories crossed her mind, she could feel herself suffocating and the smell of dry soil in her nostrils. She had to actually open her mouth and literally gulp in deep breaths to stay alive and with that finally came the distinctive smell of her Mr. Khan. As she relived those moments, she could feel every nerve and every muscle in her body tense and then relax as those memories flooded her mind. She felt relief wash over herself as soon as she could smell him again. Only Allah knew how it worked, bust she could smell him every time she remembered Mangalpur and her near death experience. Very clearly she could remember how her almost cold body had relaxed against his warm one, his blood shot eyes telling her how much he must have cried. The tenderness in his behavior while they tried to reach back to the safety of their house. But then the blow hot blow cold attitude he had taken up immediately, as if to hide behind his rudeness. She twisted her mouth and said "Jahanpana. So unpredictable".
Giggles bubbled in her chest as she remembered the time she had purposely dragged him to look for her Abbu when she knew she had to somehow keep him away from Bhopal so he couldn't attend the hearing against his father. Their night of intoxication had her stomach knotting, her heart fluttering and picking up pace. She remembered clearly their dance, their most intimate moments until then. How tenderly they had held onto each other, shared looks that conveyed much more than they both could have ever confessed to themselves. How they had indirectly told each other what they truly felt. Their indirect confession. Zoya sighed wrapping her arms as her body responded to the memory. She wanted him, she wanted his warmth, she wanted to be in his arms just one more time, just like he had held her that night. She took a deep breath trying to control her emotions as she knew that no matter how much she wanted this he would never come after her. If he could not stop her while she was there, then there was no chance that he would follow her to New York.
A soft smile spread across her lips as she remembered his unsaid concern for her right after her bus accident. His guilty eyes pleading her and then his confession about not being aware that she was on the bus too. Even today, his whisper of a sentence "Mein darr gaya tha" sent shivers down her spine. How she wished that his childhood friend hadn't come to stay with them as, since her arrival, Zoya could physically feel the distance between Asad and herself grow. Zoya felt as if she was standing in a spot and Tanveer literally dragging Asad away from her. No matter how much she tried she couldn't find it in her to like Tanveer. Somehow, she gave her very negative vibes. Shaking herself out if the thoughts and negativity that she always felt in Tanveer's presence Zoya's thoughts took her back to her Mr. Khan, remembering his efforts to help her find her Abbu. Sadness took over her face as she remembered how he had taken her to meet her Abbu. The shock she had been under, her pain at the loss of the only reason she was in India, her cries, her uncontrollable tears and her breakdown. Tears rolled out of her eyes as the pain of that day filled her heart again and how she had lost everything that day. She had not expected him to be by her side the way he had been. She remembered her relentless cries pleading him to say that whatever he'd said about her Abbu was not true. How she shook him demanding he took back such harsh words but to her dismay, he hadn't said a word and only let her cry to her hearts content. How he had enveloped her in his arms, not letting her fall, not letting go no matter what she'd said. How he had been the pillar of strength for her in her weakest time. His shoulder being the only one she could cry on and his chest that she had hid her face in to cry her heart out. How even today she could feel the firm muscles of his chest against hers as if he was still holding her close to himself. She wrapped her arms around herself trying to feel the warmth she'd always felt in his arms. Since her return, she'd tried very hard to remember what he'd said to her but she couldn't remember anything. All that she remembered were his strong arms around her, giving her strength, holding her close and his warmth.
Just like Zoya, ever since she'd left, Asad had been remembering exactly the same things. All their little interactions, all their little and big fights, all their small and big quarrels absolutely everything. That is what made him happy and that is what caused his eyes to shed tears for the only girl that he knew he would ever love. He didn't know what to do. With the way he had built walls around his heart and then hid all his feelings behind the mask of indifference, he didn't know what to do to ease the pain he felt after Zoya had left. No matter how hard he had tried, he wasn't able to voice his innermost feelings to her. He always thought that what if he had told her, would she have stayed back for him. All he now did was crave for her. He would spend his days trying to keep himself busy at work but at nights, her memories and her thoughts didn't leave him for a moment.
Dilshaad had noticed this drastic change in his behavior and had started to get worried for him. She had noticed how unconsciously his eyes would flicker towards what used to be Zoya's room. How he hadn't allowed Tanveer to occupy it making an excuse as to wanting to get it renovated. She had been most surprised when one night, she had seen him going into Zoya's room. When she had quietly walked in, she had noticed him standing with the cupboard open wide and taking a deep breath. As Dilshaad walked up to him, she could herself inhale Zoya's perfume in the room. It was so prominent that it felt as if Zoya was right there with them. As she placed her hand on Asad's shoulder he only shuffled on his feet and then closing the cupboard he walked back into his room. Wiping her own tears, Dilshaad switched off the lights in the room and walked into Asad's room. She knew he would never walk up to her and confess his feelings, so she decided to take matters into her own hands.
She saw him sitting on his couch, his face in his hands and if she wasn't wrong a little sniffle. She walked up to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. That was all it took for Asad to let loose his emotions and he wrapped his arms around his Ammi's waist. Hiding his face there he cried silently letting his pain out, the pain of separation from the only girl he had ever loved.
"Asad! Asad aise rone se kya hoga?"
"Why dis she go Ammi? Why... Did none of us matter to her that she just picked up her bags and left us?" Dilshaad ran a loving hand through his hair and smiling through her tears said "The reason for her visit to India had been fulfilled... What could she have stayed back for?"
Asad looked up at his Ammi and wiping his tears said "You, Najma or M... Me! Were we not important enough? Didn't we mean anything to her Ammi?" "But none of us tried to stop her... We should have made more efforts but we didn't Asad. Think for yourself, why would she stay back?" Sighing, Asad let go of his Ammi but he knew what she said was true. He should have told her what he felt for her, maybe then she would still have been here, still would have been in his house, in his life near him. Only to make sure what she understood was what Asad truly felt she coaxed him further "Do you really love her Asad?" Asad's head shot up instantly and without any hesitation he nodded his head in agreement. "I had never thought that I would ever say this Ammi, but yes, I am in love. Your badtameez, irresponsible, self centered mehmaan has taken away with her the one thing I'd thought I would never give to any girl, she has taken away my heart with her Ammi". Dilshaad's happiness knew no bounds as she saw Asad confess his love. She cupped his face and placed a kiss on his forehead and said "Then what are you waiting for... Go tell her. Bring her back. Bring our Zoya back". Hearing that Asad got up and hugged his Ammi tightly. "What would I have done without you Ammi. I would never have been able to take this step without you". "Now go and book the earliest flight". Smiling Asad stepped away from his Ammi and not bothered about the time, he called his assistant and ordered him to book tickets for the first flight available.
But soon the happiness in his eyes faded and he looked at his Ammi with a lot of insecurities in them. Dilshaad's expression changed too. " What happened Asad? What are you thinking? " "Ammi, what if she doesn't feel the same? What if she refuses to come with me? What if my love is one sided?" "Dilshaad's heart dipped at the thought but instantly she realized that she had seen a change in Zoya's behavior too after the bus accident and since the time Tanveer had come to live with them. Realization dawned on her and with renewed confidence she shook her head " She won't. I know My Zoya. You only get your bag ready and go get her". Asad smiled and hugged his Ammi one more time, just out of sheer happiness.
Asad got a flight for two days later. He couldn't wait to see her again. The flight had felt much longer than the almost 16 hours that was said. Asad landed around afternoon in New York and not worrying about the fatigue or the tiredness that he felt, he took a cab straight to the address that he had got from his Ammi. Just as he paid for the cab and turned around Asad's world froze. He saw her walking towards him. Her hands were full of shopping bags and he could make out that she had gone grocery shopping. As he stood there, once again mesmerized by her innocence and beauty, he didn't realize that she was too lost in her own thoughts and hasn't noticed him standing there. But, they were both pulled out of their thoughts when they both felt someone collide into them.
Where Zoya started mumbling and getting angry with the person, Asad only stood there taking in her beauty. He listened intently to her banter not worried if the person was listening to her or not. The corners of his lips curled up a little as he smiled due to the immense happiness that he felt to have seen her again. On not getting any response from the person who bumped into her, angrily Zoya got up and dusting her hands on her jeans she looked up, pointing her finger at him, ready to blast whoever was responsible for ruining her shopping. But as soon her eyes locked onto his, everything around her froze. She saw a very familiar set of eyes, one she could recognise amongst a million and ones that held so much intensity that it sometimes became difficult for her to maintain the eye contact. Where Zoya's eyes widened seeing him there and her heart missed several beats to start beating again like a thousand drums in her chest, Asad stood rooted to his spot unable to form a single sentence as he now stood in front of the only girl he could ever love.
They stood there in complete silence for how long they didn't know themselves. As always, they didn't need words between them. Their eyes in a conversation of their own. Asad saw her eyes sparkling with happiness and then brim with tears and one after the other they rolled out of her eyes. He could see that these were tears of happiness and wondered why she was this happy to see him;could it be that she felt the same way for him as he did for her. His heart swelled with happiness at the thought and he sighed with a little relief that this thought brought with it, the nervousness that had been enveloping his heart easing it's hold on it. Zoya had noticed his eyes dancing with happiness and a small smile building on his lips. She noticed his red rimmed eyes and wondered if he has cried. The thought leading her to question as to why would her Mr. Khan cry and for whom? Were these tears of happiness but what made him so happy? Her eyes grew wide as she realized that here he was standing before her with a bag in hand. Could it be that he was here to see her, to tell her what she had seen in his eyes ever so often but was able to conceal it all so well when she was in his house?
Standing on the road they held each other's gaze, so many questions running in each of their heads and their hearts fluttering in anticipation of the unsaid answers. They didn't know how long they stood there. With their unspoken words between them, their but eyes continued to let the other see to the depths of their hearts what their lips couldn't convey. It was enough for them to understand that this feeling, this emotion was mutual. With their emotions running high both shed tears of happiness to see each other after almost 2 months but soon Asad noticed her smile fading and a certain mischievous streak crossing her eyes and then he heard her;
"Disappointed? Aapne mujhe gerne ki bahut koshish ki par mein nahi giri". As soon as be heard that, a wide smile spread across his lips and he exclaimed in a shocked but happy tone "Aapko chalne ki tameez nahi hai toh ghar par kyun nahi rehti hai aap?" "Aapko baat akene ki tameez nahi hai toh khamosh kyun nahi rehte hain aap?" As Soon as these words left her lips, they both laughed loudly with tears of happiness flowing down their cheeks. Taking the final plunge, Asad took a step back and opened his arms wide. It took her a moment to realize what he just did and what it meant. Squeezing her eyes tight she let her tears fall, she wanted to see clearly what his eyes wanted to say. As she opened her eyes, Zoya saw the intensity in his eyes that tingled her insides and in a fraction of a second she crashed against his chest, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck pulling him as close to herself as she could. In return she felt his arms go around her waist holding her flush against himself. Both crying and smiling at the same time for what one felt, the other felt the too. They didn't need words to convey their inner most feelings, their silence spoke more than what words could convey. Moving back Asad looked down at her and as Zoya looked up into his eyes, Asad leaned in ad placed his lips on her forehead in a kiss that lingered on for more time than he had intended it to. But he was happy that she didn't pull back, instead she had only tightened her hold around him. As he moved back, Zoya opened her eyes that had fluttered close as his warm lips had come into contact with her cold skin. She saw the nervousness in his eyes but only smiled at him. Since he had taken the first step she felt it right to take one herself too. Looking in his eyes and without batting her lashes Zoya said to him something she'd never thought she would feel for him but now couldn't help it "I love you Asad, I love you". Asad's heart stopped for a fraction of a second as her open confession brought much needed relief to him. Asad cupped her face and leaned in until their foreheads rested against each other's and he spoke in a whisper " I love you too Zoya, I love you too ".
As they confessed their love, you can imagine this song playing in the background. This song was the inspiration for me writing this os. Am sure most of you have heard it and will agree that it fits well with this situation.
Na jiya zindagi ek pal bhi
Tujhse hoke judaa sun zara
Bin tere mujhse naaraaz tha dil
Tu mila hai toh hai keh raha
Main toh tere rang mein
Rang chuka hoon
Bas tera ban chuka hoon
Mera mujhme kuch nahi sab tera
Main toh tere dhang mein
Dhal chuki hoon
Bas teri ban chuki hoon
Mera mujhme kuch nahi
Sab tera, sab tera..
Sab tera, sab tera..
Phir dil ke raaston pe
Teri aahat jo hui
Har dhadkan jashan mein hai
Yeh inaayat jo hui
Phir dil ke raaston pe
Teri aahat jo hui
Har dhadkan jashan mein hai
Yeh inaayat jo hui
Main toh tujhe milke jee uthi hoon
Teri dhadkan mein chhupi hoon
Mera mujhme kuch nahin
Sab tera, sab tera..
Sab tera, sab tera..
Hey... ha...
Jis pal tu saath mere
Uss pal mein zindagi hai
Tujhe paake paaya sab kuch
Koi khwahish ab nahi hai
Jis pal tu saath mere
Uss pal mein zindagi hai
Tujhe paake paaya sab kuch
Koi khwahish ab nahi hai
Mmm.. main toh bas tujhse hi bana hoon
Tere bin main bewajah hoon
Mera mujhe kuch bhi nahi
Sab tera, sab tera..
Sab tera, sab tera..
Song 'Sab Tera' from the unreleased Baaghi.
P.S. Loved writing this for you all. Hope it was enjoyed. Please hit the like button if you enjoyed it and do leave me you love behind. Criticism is welcome too. Love you all. Mwah ❤️...
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Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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