CHAPTER 5 - The note of Apology
Mahira waited under the broken arch as she was told. Receding footsteps indicated that the man had headed off towards the other end of the garden. Mahira had noticed a door there earlier when she'd been inspecting the garden. It was probably a direct gateway to one of the main towers, it might even lead straight to the chieftains chambers.
Mahira stood for what felt like an eternity. Her knees trembled at very the thought of the doom that awaited her.
After what seemed like an inordinately long wait, Adaq Khan made his entry. He had shed his dangerous looking sword but he still looked formidable with his great twists of gray hair, bull like shoulders and iron forged arms.
Sab sey bharoseman banda, Nafar had said about him. Now, surely, he would drag her to the darkest dungeon. There, if they were being kind enough, she would be left to rot. The rats would eventually bite off her fingers, bats would drain her blood, owls would peck her eyes out, scorpions would poison her to death...
Oh Abbu ! A huge wail rose from her throat and this time she let it come out.
Why did you die so early leaving me behind ! Look what is about to befall on your beloved daughter's fate!
The more she imagined the horrors that awaited her, the louder her sobs became.
The sombre expression on Adaq Khan's face morphed into a bewildered one as Mahira sank sobbing to the ground.
What in allah's merciful name was wrong with the girl!
Only a few moments earlier she had given a severe tongue lashing to the very man whose gaze seasoned warriors refused to meet and now she had fallen in her knees and sobbed bitterly.
He averted his eyes and waited courteously so that she could compose herself. When the sobs ultimately stopped he held out his hand to help her back to her feet.
"Aalim-e-sitt (Woman-scholar) Mahira'' The large man fixed his sharp gaze on her tear-stained face '"Why are you upset ?''
The kind voice came upon Mahira like a warm blanket and everything came tumbled out with muffled sobs and hiccups. Before she was conscious and thinking, all was said.
She had committed a terrible crime. She had inadvertently offended an important royal officer, possibly the Jaigirdaar himself.
"That was him in the garden. The Lord Chieftain. Wasn't it?" Mahira asked in a small voice.
''Aye, lass. that was Sarkar Huzoor himself.''
Adaq Khan's face was set in a practiced mask of neutrality that he often wore, but had Mahira carefully looked she would have detected a hint of amusement in his usually unreadable eyes.
But she couldn't face him. Hadn't he come to arrest her and throw into a dark cellar for the rest of life?
Bechari ! Adaq Khan heaved a silent sigh and absently shook his head. Kahan fansa diya Sarkar Huzzor hummein !
He assured her that he hadn't received any such order and that he had been sent to question her on account of the accusations leveled against her of stealing a precious plant from a private garden.
Oh for heavens sake ! Not again! Mahira's nostrils flared in indignation.
''I didn't steal anything. Haven't I properly explained it to him ? Allah! why is he so obstinate ! Why would I steal the plant when the blooms are still to come? Its all in the flowers. The life saving Elixir and the cure-all paste.''
Ohho so that was why Huzoor particularly asked him to talk to her about theft ! It was a ruse to rile her up. Adaq Khan was absolutely sure somewhere behind the shutters, a pair of amber eyes gleamed in wicked satisfaction as they observed the whole procedure.
Huzoor Sirkaar playing prank ! Now this was totally unprecedented.
Unaware,Mahira went on with all seriousness.
''Now I cannot assure you about the elixir,it needs rare ingredients in complicated measurements. But the paste ? Ha ! I can certainly produce that as soon as the flower blooms. It would definitely cure your Huzoor's perpetual ill temper and his ever suspicious nature."
Mahira bit her tongue as soon as the last words fled her mouth.
Oh lord! Why? Why was she continuing to make accidental jabs to the chieftain!
A moment of tense silence followed before Adaq Khan's strong features creased into a smile.
''Ah a healer as well as a scholar'' he said. ''But that doesnt explain how you knew we needed a learned man for library''.
'' I am sorry, I seem to have upset everyone upon my arrival. I was in the inn when you were talking with Nafar chacha. I couldnt help overhearing.''
''Oh, I thought I saw a new face for a fleeting moment. That was you !''
''But how did you reach here ?'',his gaze sharpened.'' It is not possible to reach the fort without assistance from someone who lives within it.''
''I walked alone and then I lost my way, but I was saved by someone. Amaad Mirza and his dog Shiraz!"
''Chote Sirkar ! you've met him'', Adaq's eyes widened and he clenched his jaw absentmindedly.
Mahira gushed about how he drove all her fears away with easy smiles and anecdotes and what a harmless big oaf Shiraz was but Adaq khan remained silent.
''I am ordered to take you indoors and offer refreshments.'' Adaq changed the subject at the fastest opportunity.
''you look exhausted. Take rest and when you are ready, prepare a sample of your knowledge. Huzoor would like to see how good you are before letting you in the library.''
''Khan chacha ! Is he very upset with... what I said ? He scared me half to death when he shouted at me.'' Mahira's eyes held the innocence of a meek lamb.
''Oh dear ! No. I am sure he is too surprised to be angry. He is not used to strangers, let alone a young lady who has the courage to scream at him. He is a bit out of practice. He hardly gets chance to behave gently with ladies of noble household. He will come around soon !''
Mahira flushed beetroot as Adaq suppressed a chuckle.
Oh this was taking a very interesting turn !
''I will take that for you'',Adaq pointed to her trunk. She passed it to him and together they headed along the path. Mahira let herself draw a deep steady breath atlast. Adaq Khan was a man of few words, straight forward but truthful. He looked like the kind of person - gruff from the outside but kind and assuring in actual.
''The villagers below have strange concocted tales on you all''
''Strange, are they'', Adaq khan let out a chuckle of irony,'' let us see, perhaps there are truth in them. But to discover than you have to stay long. And thats most likely not happening. You may change your mind after 2 days, you may not be up to the standard he requires.''
Mahira beamed a smile of confidence,'' that one thing is highly not going to happen. I will charm him with a small of flick of my pen.''
Oh woah ! what did I just say ! It definitely would sound double entendre!
If he noted her faux pas, Adaq khan did not make it visible. He broached an altogether different subject.
''There is one thing you need to remember''
''Oh ?''mahira was atonce with her full attention.
''you would stay away from Mirzabaag, the garden you met him. It was once made for the pleasure of Emir's household. Now only Huzoor goes there. He finds solace there from the harsh life he faces everyday. Not a single man from outside has not bolted in fear after taking one proper look at him. You dont have to add another number''
''Oh but why ? What is there to be frightened of ? Surely he has a very bad temper, but then he is a nobleman. It is an affliction common to them.''
Seeing Adaq silent, Mahira goaded on.
'' What ! People cannot put up with his above ordinary beauty ? Superfuman perfection ? Or is it because of that too much brightness in his eyes?'', Mahira rolled her eyes genuinely agitated with the stupidity of common people.
Infact so moved was she with the Lord's plight, she didnt even notice how awkward it would sound to the listener.
Adaq's eyes bulged with surprise for a second, he ducked his head to hide his response. Mahira was taken aback by this strange response.
Did I ask something odd ?
Then she heard Adaq khan delicately clearing his throat and it suddenly dawned to her.
No, I did not just say loudly ''extraordinary beauty'', ''superhuman perfection'' or ''bright beautiful eyes'' to describe the Jaigirdaar ? Did I ?
Mahira visibly panicked.
Oh Mahira ! What mad dog has bitten you ! First you insult him openly and now fawn about his unusual handsomeness to his most loyal attendant. you are behaving like a wanton wench not a lady of noble lineage ! Oh you will be stoned to death !
''What I meant'', Mahira desperately tried to amend her loose remarks,'' if there is nothing irregular in him why do people react so differently ? Or what did I miss?''
''you are not easily frightened'', observed Adaq. ''But I dont want you to get started, raise his hopes and then bolt when you discover ermm...irregularities. If would be kinder for him if you leave now.''
''I wont take any foolish step. I am better than any of these pathetic village gossip-mongers. I shall stay and complete the work he expects from me.'', Mahira replied,stung by his doubt.
''Didnt Nafar fill your head with Azad's mysterious sickness and his failure as a Jigirdar ? Didnt you believe them ?''
Mahira hung her head in shame. Her father had always taught her to not believe anything fantastical before seeing it with her eyes. But didnt she see real fire blazing in his eyes for a fraction of a moment ? Didnt she feel wave of blinding heat searing her for a second ?
'' See it all for yourself and then make judgement, chokri ! The Lord has borne a lot, do not add more to his sufferings''.
Adaq's mouth was set in a gim line.
*****
They had now reached at the base of the central establishment. Adaq ushered her up some steps to a large living area. She followed him through semi dark passageways with grim looking chambers on either side. The stone walls looked damp.Then they entered into low roofed, very spacious and bare kitchen through a bug eaten large wooden door. A meagre fire was still burning on the hearth and on the floor lay the bundle of supplies Adaq khan brought from the village early morning. A woman, apparently above servant class, was adding logs to the fire and taking preparations for meal. Mahira watched her, eyes full of question.
The woman looked at her stoically with a face that seemed never laughed. She placed a large glass of hot elichi milk in front of her as per Adaq Khan's instruction and returned to her chores.
''Gazala'' , Adaq Khan introduced her. ''Our Badi Begum's khash jenana (chief maid-in-waiting). She will look after your needs here.''
Mahira bestowed an uneasy smile at her but she didnot return it.
It was tough to remain silent all along in a strange place. Mahira tried to warm her up broaching different subject.
'' Do you tend the herb garden...what do you call it, ah Mirzabaag ?'',she asked curiously.
''It is quite well kept in comparison with the space outside...'' her voice trailed off realizing the implicit insult her question implied.
''The garden is Huzoor Sirkaar's domain. He doesnot let anyone in there.''She replied in an unaffected drab monotone as she went on with her works,''I do everything else.''
The chamber felt cold , despite the fire. there was no heart in that woman's words. Mahira felt alone and sadly depressed.
She imagined Kayenat here for a brief moment, watering pots of mint and parsley, singing merrily or chatting her world out as she chopped vegetables or made spices-paste on grindstone.
But then she would never be in her position.She never had interest in scholarly pursuits, she would happily knit or embroider all day long. she was happy when the travelling tradesman asked for her hand in marriage. She was far too practical to bring complications in her life. They were sisters yet so very different.
'' You are born under a particularly malign star'', Jabheda Khala used to say.
'' As thoughtless and selfish as your mother ! A temptress born and bred. Merciful God ended her life early. Why didnt she take you with her ? Enchantress, that was she. You are of the same type. Your kind only attract wrong sorts of men, mark my words''.
So immersed was Mahira in memories she didnot notice Gazalla leaving the chamber and another light set of feet approaching . The steps stopped at the door and observed her with silently with cunning hawk eyes. Mahira's eyes crossed the door casually, and seeing a silent bright eyed woman in pure white muslin and expensive pearls, she jumped up, spilling the milk from her cup in process.
This was clearly not a woman to be trifled. Her bearing was regal, so were her expensively fashioned clothes. A thin veil of shabnami muslin covered her head, and under the heavy white gold border her face was cooly judgmental.
Mahira stood up and bowed her head in a respectful salaam. Who was she? The Chieftain's wife ? She was in the prime of her youth, as beautiful as a carefully carved marble statue, cold,lifeless but fascinating. Mahira looked around, hesitating. She could not ofcourse ask her identity. That was the tradition of tehzeeb in the company of aristocrats. She could not speak until spoken to.
How old would be the Jigirdaar, she wondered. Between his tousled hair, stubble, dark scowl and ultra perfect features, all she could guess he would be a man not more that 30 summers.
She could be an older sister too. The woman was still, assessing her with calculated lustrous eyes.When she spoke her voice sounded distant as if coming from long hollow brass pipe.
''What are you, girl ?''
''I am Mahira, daughter of a sufi scholar. I have come here for the transcription of old scipts.'' She introduced.
She didnot reply so Mahira filled in.'' I am waiting for Adaq Khan, He said I could sit here''.
The woman's eyes didnot soften, in fact it heightened in a hawk like animosity.''That is not necessary. we wont be needing you'', she said dismissively.
Mahira went speechless for a moment, then she protested.
''But Adaq Khan implied I would be hired if my knowledge pleases Sarkaar Huzoor.''
''It doesnot matter who said what. We do not need an outsider within us. You have misunderstood.We dont need you. Go away.''
She even took a step back as if to allow her the passage to walk away.
''Please, My Lady ! One chance is all I ask'',Mahira's voice reflected the desperation of a drowned man.
She desperately tried to convince the ice hearted woman that she had indeed come all the way to get the work. She was in distress and she needed shelter. she would do anything, even the work of a kitchen girl or stable help to stay here.But she stood unfazed and fixed in her decision.
Just then Adaq Khan entered with a pile of writing stuffs.
''Assalam Walekum Badi begum ! he bowed respectfully. then turned to face Mahira. She looked like a candle extinguished by a rough blow of wind.
'
''I am told I am not required here'', She said quietly.
''What is this girl doing here, Adaq ?'' Bari Begum lashed out with an air of authority. '' We dont want another fool to insult him. They dont stay here. She would only end up disappointing him more.''
Adaq Khan did not even flinch. With a respectful calm nonchalance he stated ,'' I have specific orders from Huzoor for the girl. She is to stay here until he decides anything final.''
Badi Begum glared at Adaq khan for one infinite moment but he didnt budge. She then glided away as silently as she came.
''Who is she ?'' asked Mahira as soon as she went out of sight.
''Badi begum is Sarkaar's mother, the dowager Emira''.
Mother ? She was the mother of a nearly 30yrs old man ?
Seeing incredulity in her eyes, Adaq khan,'' now you have started discovering peculiarities , Mohtarma ! You will soon realise those stories in the village are not idle ramblings. Its only the beginning. ''
He stopped for a few moments to choose his next words carefully.
'' She looks ageless, frozen in time, doesnt she ? She is the very same today as we saw her 35 years back. she didnt grow a year after ...that great fire. Now,do not ask anything. If you want to stay here, learn to find answers yourself.''
Adaq shook his head dismissively.
''You have a rather important task at hand. I just came meeting Hujoor. If you are ready to produce a sample now, he would decide whether u stay or leave.''
Aah again they are talking about leaving...why all these people so badly want me to leave ! Adaq khan hints, Badi Begum threatens and now this man perhaps has already decided my fate even before testing my ablitity .
Mahira vowed not let this opportunity go without a solid fight ! She would swim against this negative current even if it would sink her.
Adaq khan brought with him a set of inkpot, quill and parchment. But mahira decided to use her own set, for goodluck charm. They had her Abbu's blessings.
****
''You said he has asked for a sample. Sample of what ? I have to know specifically what he requires from me, right ? Scripture knowledge or depth in language ? and which language ? Turkic ? Arabic ? or Farsi ? ancient or contemporary ? normal hand or calligraphic ? ''
Adaq khan waited, arms folded as Mihira went on her tirade throwing those high brow scholastic terms casually as if he had all the knowledge of what she was raving so animatedly about.
''Heck this woman is more educated than a scholar at Mughal durbar'', he wondered. '' What ill force has thrown her into our path ! She is desperate for a placement here knowing nobody will come searching in this frightening place. Others fear is her gain. What is she running from ? ''
''Just show what you can do, thik hain ?'', he voiced instead
''Oh ! I can do a lot of things... there are so many options...''
'' Just do it...or I shall tell him you are slow witted'', Adaq khan added with mock seriousness just to poke and see her cackle sparks. She looked adorable with all that animated movements of her hands,pouts and huffs.
Blessed with a long life filled with myriad experiences it was not difficult to understand her. A flawless innocent soul with lots of bookish knowledge but totally inexperienced with everyday life's struggle. She was a pearl protected by layers of strong shells...blows of destiny shattered the shell and the priceless gem rolled out unsuspecting into the murk. A strange warmth filled the older man's heart, he felt an overwhelming urge to pick up the lost girl and put her in the safety of his old breast. Any father would feel proud to have such a pearl as a daughter. Any man would fight the world to keep her safe. Any lover would die a happy death to win her heart. He sighed. Did Huzoor find her adorable too ?
Mahira ofcourse thought he was serious.
''I beg your pardon ! Slow-witted who ?'',She glared at him as if to turn him to dust.
''you want the position or not ?'' Adaq maintained his flat voice expertly.
Mahira made face of a petulant child.
''Ofcourse I need it. It was only like sewing dress for someone without knowing the man's size and the purpose of wearing . How can you make an Angrakha without knowing if someone needs it for riding his horse or for visiting Badshah's durbar ?''
Adaq shrugged. The woman and her allegories!
Since Adaq Khan was not helping, all her frustration changed their direction to his Huzoor Sarkaar.
Oh that infuritating man ! 1st he called her thief and made her use profane languages on him, something she had never done before, now asking something vague so that he can dismiss me easily. But that was not going to happen anytime soon !
Annoying madman ! Cat shit and brimstone on him !
But cursing the man would not help her thinking. And definitely not when his most favorite adviser was looking down at her with a very peculiar expression in his eyes.
Oh ! he must be already pitying for her supposed failure.
''Allah, tell me what would appease his Lordship ?'' ,she groaned in frustration.
''Hymns praising merciful Allah or Rubaiyyat of Omar Khaiyam ? Gazal of Aamir Khasru or Nazam of Faiz ?'' , Mahira felt heat rising within her at an alarming rate along with her voice.
'' Or do I have to produce an original sayari like someone does in that enchanted garden under blooming Gulmohars ?''
''And who exactly writes sayaris under blooming Gulmohar ?'',a deep resonating voice rumbled from behind.
Mahira forgotten, Adaq Khan stood frozen in surprise as if he had seen ghost or rather God in a most unlikely place. What in Allah's name ! This was Raheem Azad Mirza at the doorstep.
Never did Huzoor Sirkar leave his quarters this time of night. And in this east wing, separated for jenanas ( women)? Never in life, Adaq khan can swear in God's name.
Mahira thought her eyes would pop out of her head the way they widened. Think of the devil and here is he !
''Nobody particular...I ...I was just making my point understood, I didnt mean you, ofcourse...I didnt see your book lying...I mean I saw, but I didnt read...Its not good manners to read other people's inner thoughts, Abbu used to say...'' Mahira blabbered in reflex.
Azad's brown eyes twitched dangerously and Adaq khan pinched his nose to stop himself from snorting loud. Ah girl ! Dear, dear girl ! She had no idea what she was talking. And by the way what was Huzoor's excuse of lurking here at this strange hour !
Feeling Adaq's silent questioning eyes on him, Azad mumbled defensively ''I came searching for Mir. Baksh. Send him to me as soon as you find the devil.''
Adaq Khan looked down and nodded obediently. Inside, he was rolling in laughter.
Right ! He came searching for Mir. Baksh ! At jenanaghar ! Adaq khan had known Azad from the moment of his birth. The lad was never good at telling lies. That one was entirely Chote Sarkar's area of expertise. But this lie was particularly terrible.
Azad lingered little more.
''You dont have to show off your academic prowess. I am sure you have that in abundance.'' Azad kept his voice low, fixing his eyes steadily on her.
'' Write something you really want to convey. In Persian. Preferably contemporary. Ordinary hand obviously. what's useful in flowery ornamentation ? . If I could read old farsi script myself I would not have asked for a helper. Your common sense would feel happy if u use them sometimes, for a change. ''
And then like a brief,destructive spell of squall he was gone.
Oh the stew was brewing faster than he had anticipated. and Adaq Khan on his part would do everything in his power to make it delicious.
The poor girl was still hyperventilating from its effect.He patted her hand and gestured her to write.
She didnot say a word this time.
As if in a daze, she picked up a scroll of fresh parchment, chose a sharp quill and dipped it in a bottle of black ink.
Her quill moved curving neat elegant farsi scripts as if it had a mind of its own.
Very soon neat lines appeared on scroll.
Main ik lehar hoon jo samay ki nadi se
Bas tumse milne kinaare thi aayi ;
Tumko maine chaha bhi hai ,
Tumhi ko maine gham bhi diye
Sharminda hoon ! Sharminda hoon !
Dil hi dil mein sharminda hoon !
Adaq Khan could not read what was in it but his experienced eye could tell the girl was pouring out words straight from her heart.
Merciful Allah ! Save this innocent child from this cruel world. Do not let her heart torn into pieces.
''I shall take it to him, child ! he spoke in a gentle gruff voice as if something was choked in his throat. Mahira looked up in surprise and detected an unguarded smile on his lips.
''Gazalla would show your room. Rest well. You are going to have on hell of a busy day tomorrow.''
''If he lets me to stay'', Mahira whispered in a strange nervous anticipation.
'' Oh still in doubt, are we?'' Adaq cocked his right eyebrow.
Mahira looked up at him with uncertainty and then blushed furiously.
Adaq Khan gestured a quick Khuda Hafiz and left, eyes still twinkling in mirth.
Yah Allah ! What did he mean ! Surely not what she was thinking. And what exactly was she thinking again !
And Oh dear God in Heaven ! What did she write in that blasted parchment !
No, this was not real ! She wrote to a man, a young man, perhaps a bachelor, verses from her own mind with most inappropriate sentiments !
Mahira groaned inwardly, this would be her death. One part of her wished to run after Adaq Khan and tear that scroll to pieces. But even she knew better. It would be a futile effort trying to locate Adaq in this darkness in an unfamiliar castle.
This was all because of that odd kind of curiosity about the man. A pull. A wrong kind of pull.
Perhaps Khala was right after all, there was something wrong in her blood, getting drawn to someone unattainable and attract trouble.
Trouble ! Mahira scoffed,that was one thing she had too much in her plate already.
[To be continued...]
Read chapter 6 : Swirling image in the Mirror
Writer's note :
Kruti Baisa ! thank you for ur last minute touch up. Already missing ur minute editing. But kya kare, yehi zindegi hai 😃
Edited by milinda.shreyz - 9 years ago
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