One Last Dance SaHil TS Part 2 updated - Page 5

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Raingoddess thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#41

Originally posted by: mahwash22

Okay! Whaaat! I need a moment to get over the emotional stress I'm feeling.. A Very long one of that!

I actually shed a few tears after reading it. *cries.*

Aww Mahwash 🤗 I didnt want to make u cry! Actually I cried myself as well 😭 I felt so bad for Aahil! I almost wanted to stop the torture, but then the writer inside of me had to continue! But your comment ❤️ One of my best and most encouraging readers! Love u so much and cant thank u enuf for all ur support!

First of all kudos to the awesome piece of writing! You sure got me hooked on a few tissues while reading.. And top it with that beautiful song! *Snif!*

Aww stop it! You make me blush 😳 But then all this awesome feedback makes me so proud as well! As for the song, I love that song so much and it reminds me of SaHil each time I hear it!


God! It was such a sentimental touch to it - which I absolutely loved. I could feel the despair and pain of Aahil going through this. It was beyond heartbreaking! Eshaaa...

I love your style of writing and teh way you capture just the right essence of words and atmosphere. I want to give you a huge hug, girl! You're wonderful and awesome. 😆 😉

Let me give u one first 🤗😆 Ur equally awesome girl 😉

"The vulnerability and confusion he saw in them broke his heart. He didn't want to hurt her! He could never imagine doing that! He just wanted his Sanam back! He wanted her to know that Jannat was a figment of someone else's imagination! That she was Sanam Aahil Raza Ibrahim... His Begum Jaan! But he took a step back."

But Sanam still remembers him subconsciously. He is your soulmate, Sanam. He has marked his way up to your heart and you shall soon remember who you really belong to.


"But she would not lie, the man came in her dreams almost every njght. From day one she felt a strange attraction to him. She pushed it off considering he was good looking but his intense eyes and husky voice made a strange longing stir within her.
"


I totally fell in love with these lines. You got right into the feels. The intense eyes, the husky voice. So beautifully written, Esha..👏

Trust me its all KV 😆 But thank u so much 😉 I was inspired by the talks at our Heaven 😆

And that Shaad guy. I actually like your portrayal of him. But still wanting Aahil to look elsewhere and letting Jannat believe that she is not Sanam. Ugh!

Gosh it was a heavy ride of emotions. I honestly felt the pain and loneliness of Aahil. That fact that he wanted to bring her back with him to the Mansion, but wouldn't do anything against her will was heartbreaking. I loved how you took previous quotes into the story and led Sanam question her mind.

"He was hiding a world of pain, but those eyes failed to hide anything from her. Jannat didnt know why, but she wanted to somehow ease his pain."


I felt his pain too! In fact in this entire journey, I feel that the character whose pain I felt the most was Aahil! He is just too pure and innocent yet passionate and fierce I wanted to bring out the Sanam inside of Jannat and am glad I was able to do that 😳 Its high time she questions!!


Remember how you said that you could picture a solid showdown between two good looking actors. Well I think it's my turn to imagine that. Gosh, I loved to read two male guys giving each other a glares and all. You did justice to the whole scene between Aahil and Shaad. 👍🏼😳

Thats exactly what I had in mind! Glad u were able to see it as well 😉

The two heartfelt prayers filled me with so much love. Their love is so pure and honest that it makes you feel their struggle and pain.


"Aap mujhe iss kashmakash se nikaliye! Mujhe meri pechaan wapas de dijye! Main aaj bahut kuch mang rahi hoon lekin mujhe patha hai ke sache dil se mangi hui dua kabhi khali nahi jaati!"

"Usse door rehna aasaan nahi hoga lekin mera pyaar itna bhi kamzoor nahin hain! Ek na ek din woh mere paas wapas zaroor laut aayegi! Mujhe meri pyaar pe yakeen hain! Aap bas mujhe itna takaat dena ke mein usse alvida keh sakun! "

And the part where Aahil raises his gaze and looks into the moon. Beautiful! ❤️

You said it! Their love is so so pure n honest that we cannot help but feel their pain! Spirituality plays such a important role as they both pray when they feel lost! Its so beautiful! I wanted to capture that and I am so glad I was able to do justice 😳

Eshaa.. I feel like I could write a whole essay on your perfect story. And that small scene at the end was the best part of it all. So loved you finally put it into words.. Such a beautiful thing to ask by the Nawab Saab toward his Begum Jaan. ❤️ I will keep my hopes of them reuniting together! <3

You've got me wanting for more. I really hope you update soon, because honestly, I wouldn't be able to wait for too long. <3 😳


Mahwash thank u so much for this beautiful comment 🤗 It made me so happy the second I read it! I am so glad I could do justice to it! Thank u for being such a supportive reader from the very beginning! Cant thank u enough for all ur kinds words ❤️ It feels so wonderful to read all this appreciation! Yes, I have finally put together an idea we all discussed into a story and hopefully have done justice to it! Hope u like part 2 as well! It will include the dance that Nawab Sahab asks of his Begum Jaan! They will def reunite! I promise! I will update on Wednesday, hope u enjoy reading it! Lots of love 🤗
Edited by Raingoddess - 10 years ago
Raingoddess thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#42

Originally posted by: siyasharma94

Beautiful update.
Awww..My poor ahil 😭
waitng 4 nxt prt


Thank u so much 😳 Hope u like part 2 as well 😊
Raingoddess thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#43

Originally posted by: darkice7_12

Loved it. Can't wait to see what happens next. Sanam feeling something for this supposed stranger. That forbidden feeling for a man that is not your husband! ☺️ Can't wait to read about Shaad getting his comeuppance. Update soon!


Thanks 😳 Yes I will update on Wednesday! Hope u like it 😊
Raingoddess thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#44

Originally posted by: micshy

Eshaaa can i give u big big hug 🤗

😭 😭😭😭 it as so heart breaking , both my babies were so hurt...

First about ur prologue, ur writing style reminded me of Imtiaz Ali movieS (i just love his movies, n his passionate romances n his definition of love is so what i feel about love)

Basically i read it together, so could not speak much about the prologue, but it was very very well written, something churns at ur heart ,

Esha ur story is so so so so so beautiful n so beautifully written, n so many parts are where i was like, Gosh i had imagined a scene like that in my mind, n how beautifully u hv put it in words,

So Shaad is a villain in ur story too, honestly telling u , actually i had imagined Shaad as a very good fellow, i mean a kind that we would hv felt sorry fr when finally Our Sanan got back, i would hv loved to enjoy The triangle then ... But anyways my SaHil r enough fr me to captivate my heart, we dont need others ...

How beautifully the lyrics if that song u hv interwoven with ur stpory, amazing 😳😳

My heart broke when Aahil decided to leave, thinking going away frm her will make her happy, Aahil is the meaning of her existence n happiness, n they both knew it in their hearts, Sanam was not ackowledging it due to her circustances n Aahil dint want to hurt her ... But there was something breaking inside..
I loved the glimpse of jealousy or to put in more appropriate words discomfort at the mention of Sanam being someone else,,,,,, i loved that possessiveness, ... That discomfort was so beautiful esha ...

Aahil's eyes n tge pain in them ,,,,, i imagined those eyes n ended up crying, the pain of seeing ur loved one in front of ur eyes but u cant claim them 😭😭 rather watching her denying ur existence. Oh my baby, how broken he must be 😭 something tugs at ur heart imagining it , n same thing is making Jannat uncomfirtable

When Aahil's words echoed in her mind, "itna hi bura lagta hun ti muje chor q nahi deti " uff what mwmories it brought back, just how she regreted those words. Eshaaa so beautifully depicted ... 😭😭

Aahil Shaad Face off, even i wanted to punch that lying ******* , he has guts to held another woman captove n then tell the "asli haqdaar" that she doesnot belong to him ...

Last Dance ???? Esha i screamed, im getting so much in it... I remember how we discussed it. It was a BEEEAAAUUUTTIIIFFUUULLL IDEA" n im eagerly waiting fr the last dance,,,,,, which song r u using fr it ??? Spoiler please. Ok dont spoil us 😛
Im eagerly waiting fr the last part, now i hv read it , i cannot wait much,

Please please please update soon... I cant wait to read it


Micshy a big hug to u as well 🤗 I am so happy with all the positive response and I hope u all enjoy part 2 as well 😳 Yes, it was an emotional and difficult part to write! Emotional because of SaHil and difficult because I was a bit stuck on how I wanted things to go! But eventually it all worked out! Of course now due to all of the wonderful comments, including yours, I feel very proud of the end result! Its all for SaHil and my fellow SaHilians 😳

I love Imtiaz Ali's movies too! And trust me thats such a huge compliment that my writing reminds you of his films! Tho I dont possess his level of talent, I am glad those whom I write for enjoy reading my work! 😳

I am so glad I was able to do justice to the idea we discussed and that u enjoyed it so much! Means so much! I really didnt expect everyone to like it so much and I am so happy with all the appreciative response! 😳 As for the song, I love that song n it fits SaHil so well!! Also since it was for their anniversary, I wanted to incorporate dialogues from before, glad u liked it 😉 N I love that particular dialogue! Those memories were truly wonderful!

I connect so much to Aahil that I felt his pain while writing as well! 😭 Those eyes are truly so haunting! I literally imagined the scenes while writing! Even I cant wait for Jannat to feel the same discomfort and attraction on the show The bond between them is just so strong n pure! No matter what they will come back to each other's arms ❤️ She will feel his pain as well!

Yes, for SaHil only I am looking forward to the upcoming story! Uff that glimpse of Junoon was enuf to make me excited 😉😆

Thank u so much Micshy for this lovely comment 😳 I hope u like part 2 as well. It will be up on Wednesday! Yes, the last dance will be an essential part of it! I loved the idea too and I am so glad that I got around to writing about it! Yes, lets leave the song a surprise 😉😆 Plz do keep reading, commenting n encouraging me like this ❤️
Edited by Raingoddess - 10 years ago
Raingoddess thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#45

Originally posted by: micshy

And heyyy thanku so much fr the mention on ur intro post,u guys r so awesome , i just love yr convos n brilliant ideas we discuss there,

Even im feeling like writing something now ... My hands are itching ... Though im not creative at all 😆😆 God knows what i will end up writing 😛


Ur so very welcome 😉😳 My favorite place on the forum is our Heaven ❤️ Its full of fun, intelligent and naughty SaHil fans 😉😆 And ur a huge part of that awesomeness! You shud write Micshy! Trust me even when I started I was wondering if I could match up to all the other talented writers and would people read my work! But then I realized we all have our unique style and if u enjoy writing, people will appreciate! So go for it girl ⭐️ I would love to read anything u write 😳
Raingoddess thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#46

Originally posted by: micshy

Sorry fr the late reply, actually got busy with an assignment just after the exams, so wanted to read ur stories peacefully 😳😳😳

Ab i hv to read Pragya's Paani wala dream too, going yo read the comments now, me so excited to read reactions too


No problem at all 😉 Even I will be busy this weekend but by Tuesday, I should be free again! Hope ur exams went well 😳
Intuitive thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#47
res
unres- Yipeee! I am the first! But, I have no time to rejoice because I am still in the Sahil World you left me.
As I read every line, every word, every letter my heart was beating faster n faster.
This story just got that effect on me. The way you describe things is way beyond perfection.
The dance was was gorgeous is not enough here. Then the fear of losing, his confession, the hug, the Khuda Afiz, I literally cried.
Then those dialouges, it was like a fast rush of memories to me just like it was for Sanam with that fast junoon playing in my mind. Once again through the beautiful journey of Sahil and crash! My heart crashed for a second. Now I can't wait for next part, that Sanam has finally got her memory beack, how will the reuniting be and that line of aap hamesha aapki marzi kyu karte n honthe pe line was perfect.

But for once they were blank, not giving away anything yet somehow arresting her, preventing her from looking away, from turning away.

This line was just so beautiful. I have always loved the eyes thing n this is one of those best ones I read.

As if... As if she was finally alive!

Alive- Perfect word, she is alive with him. n this story felt alive Esha.

The atmosphere for dance was perfect, just perfect.

Aahil felt her! His Sanam! She was still there! He could hear her heart beating. For him! He could sense her body reacting! To him! How could he leave her behind! Sanam come on please remember me! Your Aahil! Stop me from leaving! Tell me that your only mine and I... I am only yours! Come on Sanam! This is the last chance! Please! His heart was screaming yet he held himself together.

These lines, I just cried for Aahil. You know I am not actually finding words. Should find some synonyms.

But isn't it suppose to feel like freedom now that he was leaving?!! Wasn't it suppose to feel just perfect! This stranger was leaving her life forever! Then why was she feeling so torn! So lost! So scared of being left alone!

This, this was the line that was the realization point for Sanam n perfectly depicted feelings.

Aahil help me, remind me, just stay back for me!

I felt so bad for Sanam that I cried again. Don't tell me I cried so much yet a smile was adorning my face because of the purity of their love.

That confession of Aahil was so real, it reminded me of the line I hate that I love you so Much. Goodness! I felt so nice reading this yet couldn't help but cry.

Cry herself to peace!

You girl got me crying so much. Even I wouldn't have known Sahil just by reading this story I would have loved them.

"Khuda Hafiz...Sanam." - Literally I again cried. I could imagine Kv saying that n that look he would have on his face.

"Aap hamesha apni manmani kyun karte hai?!! Aapke zindagi pe mera haq hai ab! Aapki biwi hoon main!!" Jannat blinked as she saw Aahil walked away. Biwi! Jannat felt her throat become dry as she felt her head started to pain.

"Iska jawab main tumhare honthoon par likh kar dunga!"

This was one of those best moments. Realisation finally hitting Sanam n same happened here so I loved where u incorporated this one here. Iska Jawaab dialouge- golden days of QH, jallad jin Aahil n I must say this is one golden story n yes golden days r coming back into QH.

Those dialouges- whole QH2 in those lines, those voices playing in my head with Junooni music-fast one I fell in love with Sahil again.

As the world around her took one final spin, she fell to the ground and the darkness engulfed her...

Kept me longing for next part.

Eshaa you are one of the finest writers. n I surely connected with this story.

Continue soon n yes this was both beautifully😭. I can just continue soon and loads of hugs for this absoluetly(aahil's voice)wonderful story.🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗



Edited by darlingpinks - 10 years ago
simran_singh_24 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#48
👏👏 Great job Esha!
this made me cry😭
Could feel their pain,frustration and their helplessness.
LoveSonu2408 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#49
Part2 is jst BBEEAAUUTTIIFFUULL,HEARTBREAKING yet HEARTWARMING.i strtd cry reading ths;-(.so much hurting emotn 4 sahil,each n every moment describd so well.&all fb's dialogue its lk nt only sanam,i m seeing,feelhng those moments again.a very wel writen.
Yepi,1more chap will cm.lvly post.a hug&clap 4 u...
Ms.Sherlocked thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#50
Eshaa!! 😭😭
I have cried so much on this yaar! This is..I don't even know. I started to write a comment so many times, but I just don't get proper words how to describe this! I mean its literally I guess 5th time I am about to type a comment, and then don't know what THE HELL to write 😭

Its too much on the feels man! I can't even!

This is painstakingly gorgeous. And all the gorgeous little words out there, ALL OF THEM. ALL. OF. THEM. Its divine. Its serene. Its its..pure heaven!

The song and the lines..how it went with the dance..SO DAMN GORGEOUS! ❤️

I am in awe of what you have written yaar! I am so at a loss of words, right now. I can't just..you get me?
Tell me you cried while writing this.

You made me go so..oh I don't even know!

The intensity, the touch, the tears, the proximity, the confusion, the longing, the lingering, the hurt, the love, the purity, the craving, the helplessness, the denial, OH GOD. You explained EVERY emotion SO SO BEAUTIFULLY!

And when she remembered all those memories of them... :')) The way she felt something is going away from him much like that day when he was on stretcher...

Oh Esha! What have you done, yet again! I am tearing up again! AND.

NO NO please don't feel bad that your making me cry, coz I love this, the crying is just bound to happen. So please keep making us cry 😭😆

That graveyard scene, he TOLD her! You see my comments about the scenes are all so messed up, Coz I CAN'T SEEM TO THINK properly. His whole speech and the way his voice broke in between..

AND the way she pulled him in and the way she ALLOWED HERSELF TO BE IN HIS ARMS. OH MY GOD. :')) I can't EVEN!

This is divine! Esha! Your such a gorgeous soul! I love you girl, so damn much! 😭😆

🤗❤️

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