Hi beautiful readers, I know it has been a long time but I crossed a complicated days, but here I am back with an update. And I promise to update the runaway soon, in sha Allah. I hope you will like this chapter even if it's a bit emotional and all about Zoya's pov.
Chap 9
She can't believe her eyes, he saved her from being abuse, he gave his body and stood in front of the danger like a strong wall and he didn't fail. Laying on the ground, she raised her eyes to stare at him, standing with difficulties, he received hundred punch for her and his body has been torture in front of her eyes. She was responsible for all this mess, she should have listen to him, she shouldn't have respond, she should...Full of regrets, she felt ashame to face him and she needed badly to apologize to him. She extanded her hands hesitanty and touched his ankles.
-Leo, she called him with guilt
-we should...Before he could finish, she saw his body falling heavily completely flat on his front and his eyes opened facing her.
-Leo, Leo, talk to me. She touched his hair, but she felt her hand all wet and when she looked at her hand, it was all red with his blood.
His eyes opened staring into nothing and blood started to pour from his nose, his ears and his mouth.
-LEOOO, she called him but he only responded with sharp breathe, no no no no, Leo, talk to me, Leo, please, please, she begged him but like he was not listening. She let her tremble fingers touching his hair soflty, she didn't want to hurt him more. Leo, please, stay with me. She then realized that he only closed his eyes and suddenly, she thought of the worst. Leo, she shook him, Leo, say something, breathe, please, LEO SAY SOMETHING, LEEEOOO, HELLLPPP, HEEELLLPPP, HEELLLPPP.
She can't hear anymore his sharp breath or distinguished any alive movement, did he just... leave?
-Leo, you won't leave, you hear me, YOU WON'T LEAVE ME, YOU HEAR ME, she took balance on her elbow and yelled in pain, AAAHHH, she felt a deep stab in her thorax. She clenched her jaw and stood up no matter her pain. She had to save him, he can't die, he can't leave her and she will not be the reason of his end.
She walked trying to find any figure in this darkness, for the first time, she realized the coldness and the loneliness of the nigh and she shivered. She kept calling for someone and she found herself in isolate road which seemed silent. She held her side that was paining a lot with every of her move, but the image of Leo, gave her strength to stand up. Suddenly, she saw a ligh coming from far and she waved with her normal hand but the car didn't stop. She cursed on this running car and took a stone to throw it on him, the sound that came out from her mouth was mixed with frustration, pain and helpness after throwing that stone.
-Please, Allah miya, I am begging you, don't let him die, please, please, her voice cracked under this deep pain.
Another car appeared this time and she didn't think twice and stood in the middle of the road to force him to stop. The driver kept pushing on his klaxon but she didn't move, when the car increased the speed, she closed her eyes.
-forgive me Leo, she uttered.
-Zoya... Zoya, he coughed
-you have to stay alive you hear me, Asad, you have to stay alive, don't talk Asad, don't talk, HELPPP, SOMEBODY HELPPP, she called looking to the door, but the loud music masked her calls.
-forgive me, Zoya, he whispered and he closed his eyes, realizing his grip from her.
-Asad..., she called in panic, Asad, talk to me, ASADD, TALK TO ME, she let one of her hand on his bleeding wound while the other, check his pulse. She sighed in relief when she could sense his slow pulse. You will not leave, Asad, I am here with you, she rubbed his hair and placed her lips on his slightly. I won't let you go.
-MOVE ON, the driver passed his head from the window yelling at her. He thought she will run once he increased the speed but she didn't blink. This road was not safe and looking at her shirt full with blood, he wasn't feeling safe to stop. He didn't want to get trapped by goons, she might be just a lure.
She opened her eyes and she took few seconds to realize what she did, she wiped her tears and finally, she found someone.
-Please, sir, help me, my friends is there laying on the ground, please, she clasped her hands in pray, please we have to take him to the hospital, please sir.
He fought with himself if he had to believe her or not, she was looking totally shattered but his mind was still in alert, he didn't know if he had to follow her or not. May be there are others waiting for him?
-please, sir, he loose conscious and he is bleeding, please, sir, my friend and I were attacked and he fought for me, but they bitted him to death, please sir, PLEAASSSE
He scrubbed his forehead frustrated, what if she was telling the truth? He was a doctor and he can't let anyone in needs. He took his bag and followed her, the happiness that glow on her face was something that conforted him in his decision. He walked behind her and noticed that she was also hurted.
-what about you?
-I am fine, he needs help, she held her side and walked faster than her body can tolerate.
He didn't insist. When they both finally reached, he sucked his breath. Indeed, someone was laying on the ground and looking at him, he understood that he was in bad state, really bad state. He bent down checking his pulse and his wounds, Zed stayed here immobile, her hands around her, she waited for him to confort her, but the tension on his face made her sweating with anxiety.
-your friend lost a lot of blood and we need to take him to the hospital
-I..I can help you,
-no, we should not move him I don't know the severity of his injury, I have to go
-Whaat...No, please, don't go, she grabbed his hands, please, you say that he needs to go to the hospital, take him, please. She cried loudly begging him.
-Don't worry, what's your name?
-Zzzoya,
-ok Zoya, I am just going to my car to cover him and to call for an ambulance, I am a doctor, your friend is in the bad state but I am here now, ok. I just need you to be with him, I am coming back, ok? Trust me, I am coming back, he posed his hand on hers to confort her, she nodded and loosened her grip.
-Damn it, she stared at the close door, but nothing seemed to come out and suddenly, her mind titled. A phone, she searched in his pocket, Asad, please, tell me that you have your phone, tell me that you have it, please, she kept praying to find his phone and prayed that he didn't loose it in the fight. Got you. It was her first victory of today. She dialed emergency and someone picked up the phone.
-Emergency,
-Hello, this is Doctor Farooqui, from St Catherine hospital, I have a man wounded in the chest, with massive bleeding from his previous open heart operation, I made a compression for the moment. He is inconscious but he is still breathing, I need an ambulance ASAP. She restrainted her nervosity and acted mechanically as doctor, she let her emotions aside to see clear and she can't break down now.
Within minutes, the decor has changed drastically, leaving the place to rescuers who encircled him. She took the controls and addressing the necessary orders for first aid. All around her was chaos, and in her heart and her head it was worst but she held her breath for the moment, she did not need to feel anything. It will be time enough to worry about later, for now, he must be saved at any price. Suddenly, she felt eyes on her and she looked up, like the time has freeze all around her. She saw a young girl standing there, crying silently and her hands clasped together, her eyes begging and praying silently to save him. Time ago, she was witness of the same scene, totally helpless and shattered to see the person that she loved hurt without being able to save him. Zoya realized how much she was lonely like today and no one was there to hold her, she was again alone. She cried for herself inwardly and she cried for this young girl.
-Zoya, Zoya, come with me.
Zed was taking back from her lethargy by the doctor's voice who was around Leo from the begining. The ambulance finally came and they were so many around him and she just stepped back, looking at them. Her body was trembling like a leaf however, she was glue to the ground. She didn't unfold her hands once, praying for his safety, until the doctor asked her to come inside the ambulance with him. She almost ran and jumped into the car, she held his hand and stopped herself from breaking down.
-everything will be fine Leo, everything will be fine now, she whispered more to herself than him.
They finally reached the hospital and all the nurses were already prepared to receive him, he was still inconscious but he stopped to bleed. She felt a hand on her shoulder and it was time for her to let him go this time, she could not accompany him inside, it's the time for her to stop to fight for him. She found herself freeze in place and felt this request as a punishment and torture, why couldn't she accompany him? He needed her as she needed him, he went gently, sliding those hands away from her embrace, and she watched him moving away from her, totally helpless. The breath that she held since he fainted got back to her abruptly burning her chest from disarray. Zed/Zoya looked at her hands and they were covered with his blood, in the past, she was holding his broken glasses while in the present, she was holding a piece of his torn shirt. She felt empty all of sudden and she shivered, it was the time for her to break down, she didn't need to hold on it anymore and she fell on her knees pouring her tears out.
She splashed her face many times to recover her sense, she was suffocated outside waiting for the door to open. The scene of this night came again and again in her minds, her words, his words, his pain, his anger, she splashed again, like it will help to remove this burden but nothing help, it keeps turning like a broken record. Her eyes rested on her reflection and she was unrecognizable, it looks like she had ten years of sudden. This face was so familiar to the face that she wore 13 years ago, her reflection was in fact a projection of Zed, this young girl disoriented, scared and totally devastated. Today it was not Zoya, but Zed. Her tears mingled with the drops of water from her face as all her feelings with those of Zed. Today, both were not so different, she brushed tears from her reflection but they just flowed even more.
The more she wiped her tears the more, her eyes poured. She realized how much she was lonely without him, how much he was her pillar and her force in this life. She can still hear his sharp breath in her ears, tearing her heart into pieces. She felt on her knees, her legs fainted to stand anymore. Holding her painfull side, she balanced her body repeatelly lost in the vawe of pain.
-please keep him safe, please, Allah keep him safe, take my life but not him, he has so many dreams, keep him safe and take me instead, please, please, keep him safe.
It has been hours now that he was inside and no one came to talk to her, not even this man who took care of him from the beginning. She sat, waiting, glue on her chair, staring from time to time to the door. Her body started to pain but the tension kept her awake and in alert all this time. Lost in her tought, she didn't see when the doctor went out finally. He removed his mask and his eyes fell on her. He felt pain for her, looking at her broke his heart. He felt himself like her father, he didn't know how two young persons were outside in the middle of the night, where were their parents? And why they still didn't search them? He was angry and sad for both of them. To increase his guilt, he was now coming with a bad news, will she able to handle what he was about to say?
-Zoya, he called softly placing his hand on her shoulders.
-Doctor, she stood up still holding her side, how is he? Tell me that he is fine, please, tell me that he is fine, she started to cry.
-let me see this injury, first,
-NO, she jerked his hand, how is he? How is Leo? Please, tell me,
-where are your parents, Zoya? And what about his parents? We should call them.
-Leo had no parents,
-and you? He asked and she hesitated for a second before to reply
-I only have Leo, tell me now
-How old are you, Zoya?
-I am 18
-tell me the truth, Zoya?
-first tell me about him, doctor, I can't bare this wait, please
-first you need to sit, he forced her to sit but her eyes were glue to his mouth, you need to be strong, Zoya,
-NO, no, she shook her head frantically, don't say..
-He is still alive but his unjury were really severe, he has many broken bones, his cheekbones, his nose, his cheek, his arms and his leg. He has lost a lot of blood and he suffered from an important head injury, the blood was drained to decrease hematoma, we tried to do the maximum, but your friend fell in a coma. His body has suffered a very strong physical and emotional shock that his brain choose the coma to deal with this trauma. We have to wait and to pray for him. Zoya.
Her mind stopped when he said "coma", he was in coma, her head started to spin. She was the one who pushed him, she was the one who pulled the trigger on his head, she killed him, she killed him. Her inner voice yelled inside of her like a volcano, saying again the crime that she made.
-it's all my fault, it's all my fault, she kept repeating looking in nowhere
-calm down, Zoya, calm
-I killed him, I killed him, I killed Leo, I kill you Leo, she was not anymore with him
-Zoya, talk to me, but she was num to his calls
Naively, she thought if she closed her eyes, just for a second, maybe all of this will disappeared and he will be fine, but she didn't feel herself going away and she fainted in his arms.
-Zoya, Zoya, are you ok ? The doctor shook her shoulder slightly, she froze suddenly when he told her about his state.
-Yeah, I am sorry, it's just a feeling of deja-vu, I am..., she scrubbed her face to remove old painfull memory. He is fine, he is fine, she whispered to print this in her mind.
-yes, he is, the wound has actually reopened, but nothing inside was damaged. Having said that the scar is not very nice to see, but at least he's alive. It could have been worse for him, fortunately, you were there. You saved this man twice. Zoya chuckled sadly, if he only knew, he wouldn't have say this, she thought.
-Thank you Marc, I am going to see him now, she was about to go when he stopped her.
-Actually there is more to say, Zoya, she frowned.
She tried to open her eyes but she felt her eyelids heavy, she groaned frustrated and slowly the fog disappeared around her. She could feel some presence around her and some familiar voice. She blinked to adjust her eyes and she fought hardly with the sleep.
-can you tell me why she never listen to me? Your daughter needs to be teach good manners, Razia, wait for me, she will regret for it.
-Gaffur, calm down, first we need to know what happened before giving any wrong conclusion, there is always a explanation.
-There is no explanation for this, she was supposed to be in her room but in real, she is in hospital, injuried. How all this happen?
-Abb.., she felt tired but she realized that her parent was there, she inwardly rolled her eyes, knowing the bad time that she was going to face. She sighed deeply.
-Zoya, can you hear me? Gaffur asked worried, his anger flew away all of sudden, seeing her awake.
-Zo, are you ok, beta? Razia asked in turn.
-How is Leo? Zed asked, she wanted to see him so badly.
-Leo? Is this boy who did this to you? Gaffur tone was dangerously low, I am going to put him in jail.
-Gaffur calm down, she posed her hand on his
-No, abbu, she shook her head frantically, he saved me, I wanted to see him, she tried to sit but Gaffur and Razia put her down.
-You are not going anywhere and YOU are not going to see this boy, you hear me
-This boy as you said, is MY friend, and you are not going to stop me, Abbu
-You will listen to me, Zoya, I am not in the mood for your rebellion, if he is really your friend, he shouldn't have push you to go out in night and he shouldn't have hurt you and he shouldn't have put you in this state.
-Leo was not at all in fault, I did everything, I put him in trouble and he just saved me. If he wasn't with me, it could have been worst for me, Abbu, she replied angrily but the truth was that she was angry on herself more than to her father. She didn't care about his anger, her guilt was torturing her enough.
-Zoya Gaffur Ahmed Siddiqui, you are not going to see this boy and this is final. I don't care who he is for you and what he did, all I can see, that you are in the hospital hurted and this is enough for me as your father, to stop you for doing something stupid again.
-Abbu, please, her tears fell from her eyes, you have to see his state, he is in coma because of me, I...I need to see him, please, Abbu.
-Zoya, stay calm, please, first you need to recover and after we will see about him, Razia tried to temper both of them, there were stubborn and they indeed shared the same personality.
-She will not see him, Razia, we don't need to see anything after. There is no negociation, he warned his wife which she only glared at him angrily. She will not see him.
-What do you mean I am not allowed to see him? Zoya crossed her arms of her chest, staring at him angrily.
-Zoya, you are not allowed to see him as your patient, he is not anymore yours.
-What? This is ridiculous, I know him better than anyone and I followed him since the beginning, and as you said I saved him twice, then why THIS? Her voice raised.
-This is exactly the problem, both of the time, it was too traumatic for you and I feel you are too involved emotionally with him, Zoya looked away, and you will not be in all your sense if something happened to him again. So for the sake of the patient and for YOU, no matter what you can think, it's better if this case was not anymore yours.
Zoya puffed disgusted by the decision of her senior.
-but you are allowed to visit him during the hours permitted as any family member. Zoya raised her eyebrows, he was clearly making fun now.
-seriously Marc ?
-Yes, and...He looked at his watch, you can see him tomorrow, at 11 am till 5 pm. Marc smiled widely at her.
-this is not funny, Marc, you can understand that is really frustrated. She said annoyed
-I know and I am sorry, but you need to take rest, look at you, you look so pale. You need to change, he pointed at her dress covered with blood. Just go to your home, change, take a shower and sleep. He is sleeping for the moment, so he doesn't need you right now. He is fine. So please, go home now. She sighed in defeat.
-You are right, I need to take rest, I am sorry Marc, it was just a crazy day. She finally gave up when she saw her dress, he was right, she needed at least to change.
-Ok, see you tomorrow, and he left her.
She saw him going away and suddenly smirked.
-I will for sure change my dress but if you expect me to wait kindly visiting hours to see him you are dreaming my dear friend. Nobody can forbid me anything, so when I have an idea in mind no one can stand against me.
-who he thinks of himself? He can't stop me from seeing my friend, he never cared about me then why he is playing a father now. Zed growled frustrated, cursing her father. She was all alone now, she pretended to fall into the sleep to push them to go and to her luck, they left both of them leaving her alone. She put her feet on the cold floor and tried to stand up, but her legs has other plan for her. She fell on the bed abruptly cursing her body to be weak, she tried to calm herself. She was tired and all her body was aching, but she didn't want to stop at her pain, he was suffering more and every minute without seeing him, crashed her heart a thousand pieces. She closed her eyes and his image of him laying on the floor flashed again. She sucked her breath and forced her mental to overcome on her body. She walked slowly and was about to reach the door when she fell again, but this time, someone grabbed her.
-Zoya, you should take a rest, the doctor warned her.
-You? She said relieved, I need to see my friend, please, I really need to see him and I swear after I will take all the rest that you will ask, but please, I will not able to close my eyes if I don't see him once. She begged him and her eyes let their tears to fall.
He felt again sad for her and understood her demands, but she needed rest too. He knew also if she saw her friend in this state, it can be hard for her too. He fought internally with himself and her pleading eyes were not helping his firm resolution.
-Ok, but just for sometimes and after, I will bring you back. Zed jumped on his neck thanking him repeatedly.
As expected, once she entered, she let out a broken sob. He was laying there, surrounded by many tubes and machine. He was plastered in different place, and he was wearing a mask to help him to breathe. She was suffocated seeing him inert and her chest was burning. She was thankfull to be in the wheelchair or she might fall miserably on the floor. The doctor pushed her wheelchair closer to him. Her eyes travelled along his peace features, he was looking so serene despite all his broken bones, she thought.
-I will let you with him but don't forget your promise, Zoya, she nodded at him. He let them alone, he understood that this both shared a strong bond and her voice might help him to come back.
-I am so sorry, Leo, so sorry, she brushed her fingers on his, I...I should have listen to you... I shouldn't have fight with him, you were right, like everytime, she chuckled sadly. I should NOT have replied to him but, Leo, she wiped her tears, I didn't stand hearing and insulting your parents, Leo, I can't stand seeing anyone hurting you. I don't love my parent but I know how much you love yours and I couldn't bare hearing that bas*** talking sh** about them. I couldn't bare seeing this pain on your face when he said those ugly words, Leo. I am not trying to justify myself but I reacted badly and today I understand what you say to me. I should be less impulsive, my ignorance would have hurted him more, but I didn't listen to you. I...I am so...sorry, so ...sorry Leo. Please forgive me, it's all my fault, I am the one to be blame and I...I should be at your place now. But you did this, Leo, you should have run, what about your plan B? Why you didn't run? Why did you choose to stand for me? Why did you support all of this? I just hurted you, I am wrong for you, Leo, I am bad for you. But Leo, you can't go like this, you can't go without listening to me once, you can't let me here all alone. I can accept your teasing, your lessons or your jokes, but I can't bare not to see you, Leo. You are the best thing that happened to me. Leo please wake up and I promise I will do anything you ask. I will ask for forgivness for the entire of my life but please...please, come back to me, Leo, come back to me. She posed her head on the bed, chanting her guilt again and again, asking him to wake up. But his slow breath was his only answer.
She finally stepped in his room without being seen by anyone, fortunately, the corridor was quiet and desert at this time. She went home, took a shower and changed her dress as Marc asked her to do, but for the rest, she did as she wanted. She closed the door and stood again the door for a minute, looking at him. She took time to realize that she was not anymore in the past, she was not anymore in this room when he was in coma and he was not today in coma, he was just sleeping and he will wake up soon. She didn't realize when she started to cry, he was perfectly fine today. She sat next to him and removed the lock from his forehead, leaving her fingers touching the line of his face. His breath was different, almost melodious to her ears, she knew that she only needed to close her eyes to recall his sharp breath of the past, but today, she kept admiring the sound and the slow move of his chest. Her mind kept chanting: he was fine, he was just sleeping.
- You're stubborn, you did not changed and you like to have the last word, I told you not to go, but you went to fight, I told you you were going to hurt yourself, but no, you continued. You're still the same... But at the same time so different from what I knew. You're so handsome, so charming, and so strong, you don't wear anymore any scars of the past, you have corrected all these injuries, you remade your nose, your jaw, and your cheekbones. The features of your face have been perfectly corrected and your physical looks intact but your heart... still bears his scars of our past. Yes, it is OUR past Asad. Like yesterday, I am still responsible for what happened to you today and I'm sorry to make you going through that again. But you do not have the right to put me also this again, you have no right to make me feel so vulnerable. I hate you for this and you're just idiot and arrogant. You are an idiot for still wanting me, this is Leo's part and arrogant like Asad to think that I'll do what you want. Years back, you were laying here, in the coma, and I came every night to talk to you, asking you to wake up. I read your boring books for hours, I asked you many questions but you didn't reply once, I kept talking to you again and again, wishing you that you will yell at me asking me to shut my mouth but you didn't. I used to have your slow breath as compagnion for weeks in this room, Asad. My father forbade me to see you but I didn't care. I went out every night to join you in your room. I know you don't like when I go out alone at night but it was for a good cause. I did that every night during your unconsciousness. I used to come in the evening and back off again before morning, but I didn't know that I was not the only one to meet you.
-Leo, today, I have for you a thriller book, I will not read any science book for you from now, she scolded him gently, but her smile fade away when she saw no reaction. It has been like this since long time, and she became restless day after day. She sighed and put a huge smile on her face, she had to be positive, he will wake up for sure, he will, he had no choice.
-Who are you? Came a female voice from behind. Zed froze and she turned abruptly.
-I ..mm...I am...
-Zed, right? She pointed at her and she nodded. I am Leo's Nanny and you are the one who saved him.
-Saved? She said in shock
-Yes, you are the one who looked for help and stayed by his side all the time.
-You...misunderstood, I am the one who put him in trouble, I was the responsible for all of this. Zed looked at Leo with a teary eyes and the old lady smiled soflty and went to her.
-It was not your fault, my little child, she cupped her face and this time, Zed let her tears falling, it was the first person who conforted her since that happened. It was not your fault, Zed. With each words, she was shaking with tears, recalling her guilt and all those days that she spent next to him full of hope but all vanished with the new ray of sun. She finally let her pain going out, her frustration and her pain in her arms. She held her in his arms consoling her sobs.
-I...I...want him...back...I want him...to wake...up, Zed said between her sobs.
-He will wake up, I know he will,
-why...all of this...happened? Why?
-Something happened in life and there is a reason, it will take you time to know about it but for the moment, we need to be by his side and there is two thing who will help, love and prayers, she cupped her face looking intently into her eyes, you have to keep your faith in Allah, and you have to keep praying and loving him and I am sure he will wake up. This boy was a bit lazy and he likes to sleep. Zed let a soft chuckle. But never give up, keep loving him like you are doing now. She kissed her forehead and kissed Leo's forehead and left both of them. Zed didn't notice the tears and pain that his nanny hide all this time.
-This night, she left quickly but the other night I used to come early to find her. We discussed a lot, and having a maternal figure helped me a lot to stay strong during your sleep and I am not agree when you said that she was boring, for sure she was not. She slidded her fingers in his hair. You can exagered a bit sometimes, Leo. She took his hand in his and caressed his fingers. Asad, you know why I choose to be a doctor, in real, when I saw you falling down before my eyes helplessly, and when I saw your pain without being able to soothe, I felt so helpless. When the doctor gave you first aid and I saw all these people around you trying to save you, I felt so useless, helpless and vulnerable.That day, I promised myself that I would never feel so vulnerable, I will not stay handcuffed just hoping for a miracle, and I will not stay there like a statue crying. I promised myself I will never let the people I love in danger. I realized that you were right again, I understood why you wanted to be a doctor. This day changed my future forever Leo and this moment changed me so much that I even change my name.
-Zoya, you are here? The doctor asked surprised to see her late in the night.
-Yes, I need to be with him when he will awake, she didn't need to run from him, she felt safe with this man. He saved her life by saving her Leo.
-What your parent will say if they know?
-Really doctor, I don't care about them, I only care about him, she squeezed his hands
-and what about you? How was you wound?
-I am fine, I can move now my hand, she moved up and down her elbow, see I am fine.
-and what about your breath? Can you breathe properly? He was checking her, he didn't trust her, the rare moment that he shared with her, he knew that she can pretend to be strong while inside she was shattered.
-I am suffocated Doctor, I can't stand anymore his sleep, I WANT HIM TO WAKE UP, she shouted more to Leo than to him. It has been really long now. Why is he still sleeping doctor?
-I told you the trauma was strong to handle for him, but the good thing was that his injuries were almost healed and he was not suffering anymore. I am sure he was closed to wake up.
-you think? He will be back soon, her lips curved suddenly hearing this news
-keep praying and talking to him, give me a reason to come back. Your love will bring him back.
-Love? She made a weird face hearing this words.
-I have to go now, take care of you and be careful, he went to the door when she called him back
-Doctor, I didn't ask your name, I wanted to thank you
-My name is Anwar, Anwar Farooqui
-Thank you so much for saving him
-God has another plan for him, I didn't save him, it wasn't his time to leave. He smiled genuinely at her and left.
-this is really funny that the name of your savior shared my mother's name, that why I changed my name from Sidiqui to Farooqui. My mother was touched when she knew this but I didn't tell her the whole truth. I chose Farooqui because of the man that saved you, Leo. It was the day that changed my life so why not changing my name, I said to myself. When I started my medical school, I was surprised to meet him and to have him as my teacher for years but today he is retired. He asked a lot about you but I was never able to say that we were not anymore in touch. He was surpised to see us apart after what we shared that night. Anyway, this is the past now. You know Asad, both of them, Anwar and your nanny said the same words: love and pray. I knew what pray means but love...I didn't know, you know what is to love? What is love, Asad? Tell me.
-Leo, this book is so predictable, really, I don't know why you like to read those boring novels. She threw the book on her chair. She sat next to him and adjusted his blanket. Leo? Can you hear me? Leo, please make anything, give me a sign that you are listening to me? Leo? You hear me? She waited and scanned thoroughly his face but nothing move. She sighed sadly. Leo, please, it has been so long, please come back now, it's not funny anymore, she tapped his shoulders slightly, but he didn't move. Leo, I did everything, I talked to you, I keep praying for you and I...Yeah, they told me that I have to keep my love, that my love will bring you back, but it seemed that I don't know how to do this, because you would have come back long time ago.
In your boring book, they always say that true love can make miracle, but it only happen in book right? Leo I don't know what does it mean true love? Leo, I am sorry I was never good to deal with feelings, for me it's as weird as your love for math, something out of this word you know but... I only know one thing and is that I can't leave without you, I can't be without you and I can't see myself alone. You are all that I am not: crazy, wise, clever, generous and kind, Leo, you complete me, you accept me as I am with my failures, please forgive me Leo, forgive my mistake, my childish behavior, I promise to change, I promise to control myself and to be happy, I will study, I will not smoke and I will not fight ever again, I will become a person that you are going to be proud of. I will be successful and respected but please come back to me, come to me, Leo, you have to see this. I will start by loving math, but not more than you. You are my perfect partner, my perfect friend and my perfect half, Leo, you are my BEST friend Leo, you are the best thing in me and in my life, Leo. If love is to care about another more than itself, then I love you Leo, I love you more than anything else, I love you Leo, I really do, please come back to me, come back to me, don't leave me all alone and not like this, I have so many thing to say and to share with you, you can go like this. You can't, you have NO right, please...say something...say any-thing, but...please, come back to me...I need so much to find you, please say that you are here, please...Her cries were loud now and she didn't suppress them anymore, it has been so long now that he was sleeping, days turns to week and still, there was no improvement.
-It was the first time I utter this word of love, and it was for you, Asad. I was never good to express my feeling and today, she raised her eyebrows, I guess that something never changed. I was never good to know what I feel but today, I will give a try, If you knew what my heart wants, I'm sure you'd be over the moon, but I know I should not listen to it. But I can not stop it from wanting you and loving you, because yes, I love you, I love you so much and I am suffering to see you so sad, Asad. I love you so much, a lone tear fell on the bed. It was always so easy for you to express what you want, you used to plan everything but at the end, you took another road, Asad. But I don't like yours, I don't like to see how you became now. I can see throught the wall you built, I still can see Leo caged inside of you, Asad. I can accept to be with you and I can give you what you want but if I do this, Asad will win over Leo, and he will never come back. Leo would have lost everything and Asad will remain, bitter and angry with his past, and I don't want this for you, because I love you. I love you so deeply that it hurts me to see you in pain. You have to know that the day we've got separated, I changed totally and I became the woman that I am now. Zed change and I became Zoya. I still have Zed inside of me and I understand her and accepted her mistaked and her innocence. Loosing you was the thing that I needed to grow up. Your accusation makes me stronger and different, it took me time to understand but I built myself with your harsh words and memories. I don't know if I am doing the right thing for you, Asad, but, she held his hand closed to her chest, but I have to let you, I have to stay away from you. You have to loose me to forgive yourself, to forgive Leo's weakness, to reconcile with your past. You have to go throught alone. I don't want to stay between you and Leo, because I am the one that created this slipt and I have to move now. I need you to realize your dreams, I need you to feel happiness and I need you to love me and not to possess me. I am not the cure of your pain, I am the source of your pain, Asad. When you will look at me, you will only see those lonely years without me and you will hate Leo more and more, but I don't want to see this in your eyes. It was never you and you should find back this light. I want you both because I love the both part in you, Asad. Please, bring back Leo, bring him back, don't let him all alone, like life did with him, and don't let him go. Bring him back, Asad. She let her tears falling on his hands, shaken with emotions and love for him. She opened her heart like she never did before, even if she did it in front of a sleeping Asad, it cost her to tell him goodbye.
Zed/Zoya cried sadly asking him to come back but he was in a deep sleep and lost in the corridor of the inconsciouness. Leo needs to find his way back home to the present and only love can be the light in his darkness.
-Zzzed, came a strange call and she gasped.
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