Covering up his emotions he step back giving her way to enter inside, she came in and walked towards the couch and sat there , asad closed door and turned to look at her, he noticed how she started taking deep breaths as if she was trying to decide something against her thoughts and he easily new what it was, shaking his head on her hesitant nature he walked towards her and sat beside her 'you know you are such a kid' he said, she looked at him with confusion 'don't look at me like this, do you think that any other name or tag suits you?? From past God Knows how much years i am trying to tell you that you can share all your feelings, your fears, your secrets, your problems with me without thinking once even and everytime you forget and like a teacher to a kindergarten kid i have to teach you that zoya speak up and without hesitation...' she pouted
'why you always think that i don't share everything with you when i really do??' she asked faking anger but falied to do 'who said you don't share but only after a good lecture and right now i am quite sleepy to teach you anything so just blurt it out' he said looking direct into her eyes 'what?' she asked trying to cover her thumping heart who almost beat fast then always with the look he was giving...that moment she couldn't detect what it was in his eyes but what she can't deney was his honesty and his care which was like always present in those chocolate orbs for her... 'you know that you can't lie to me ZOYA' he reminded her as a matter of fact 'but when did i lied?' she asked 'zoya you have no idea how much i understands you, i am aware of your insecurities in this relationship and i respect you and your feelings very much then why suddenly this kind of decision?' he asked directly
She was overwhelmed with his gesture and his ability to understand everything related to her in a moment, sometimes she questions herself that does she really know him the way he does? Shrugging away these thoughts for now she concentrated back at him, he was looking at her as if he needs answer right now, she knew she has to say it!! Taking in a deep breath she started i heard Imran's ami saying to his phopo today that i had runied your life and that 'i can never give you all that happiness you truly deserve being an honest person and also you deserve the best since always...i can't bear that someone will blame me for spoiling your life, the person who is the world to me now...you always are that one for whom i can do anything...even if i have to sacrifice my own life i won't think once then why not giving this relationship a chance because spending the rest of my life with my best friend is not a bad option in fact it's the only best thing which can happen in my life now' she said quite confident , as she finished he took her hands in his 'you know you being in front of me is everything i want, with you by my side life always feel like a blessing...you don't have to say all of it...if everything think tht i had compromised my life for u and u r my wife just for name sake then let them, but for me you are everything, a mother when it comes to my health, a teacher when i took a wrong move, a supporter when i have no one with me, a well wisher when it comes to my happiness...everything zoya you are everything then why are you letting all those not so important peoples words affecting you and our special relation? There is no need to force yourself for this!!!'
She looked at him teary eyed 'you are the best thing happened to me asad, no one can ever take your place but i promise i am not taking this because of any kind of force i think that thinking about this relation is something i should had thought long before...i am sorry asad because of me you have to go through so much ..' she whispered the last part as tears made it's way out, he wiped them and cupped her face 'who said you had caused so much damage in my life? Who said you had made me go through so much...for me you had done a favor to me, you were, you are and will always be my best friend and i would be the luckiest person to have you with me for always' and with he took her in a hug, consoling her
'so now if the discussion is over can we sleep, i have to catch flight tomorrow ' he remided and she chuckled nodding a YES, he went to bed and arrange the pillows between them, she came to him and noticed what he did, finishing his task when he looked at her she gave him a small but true smile before making her way to the wash room, he lie down on his side of bed, closed the light of his side then closed his eyes letting sleep take over him, when she came out he was already in deep slumber, not wanting to wake him up, she quietly came to bed and slipped herself under the duvet, she looked at him once again and the hesitation she felt a moment ago was nowhere now, she knew it's because of him, he always make her comfortable, it's his charm but the one thing which confuses her to no end was all these feelings she is having, why is she feeling a little different then always, even when they had shared the similar bond from the day she came in this house, she ruffled his hairs and whispered 'like always you are the solution to all of my worries, i don't know what our future have store for us but i pray that whatever it is, good or bad, you always stands by my side holding my hand and indicating me to choose what is right, i have full faith on you and i know you can never be wrong when it comes to me...'
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Next morning, zoya woke up early, after taking bath and offering her namaz e fajr she decided to pack asad's luggage, he is going Lucknow for a week, later when he woke up she wasn't in the room, so he made his way in the washroom to have shower, when he came out he saw her putting his folded shirts in his bag 'zoya...what are you doing?...it's not your work...' he asked and then reminded her, she looked at him for a moment before putting another shirt inside 'i am doing my work only asad!!it is a WIFE's duty ' she too reminded him, before he could answer her dilshaad called her and she ran outside to answer her, he walked to the cupboard to take out his clothes and that's when his eyes landed on that drawer, he had promised himself that he would never open that drawer nor will write anything in the diary anymore as it's related to his past but he already had broke his promise once the day when he announced about his wedding with zoya, he opened the drawer and took out that diary from it, sat on the bed and opened the diary, once again he need someone with whom he can share his current state but as no one knew about the only secret of his life he made this diary that someone in which he can explain all of his feelings and he would be relief also as it won't harm anyone's feeling nor anyone will ever knew about it...
Nearly five minutes since he started pouring his heart out in the diary when zoya walked in, she stopped at the door steps and looked at him, he was still in his bath gown and seating on the bed writing something in, which seemed like a diary 'asad...you hadn't changed?' she asked making him jump on his place, she noticed how he hide that diary behind it assuming she didn't saw the diary, noticing his behavior she too didn't uttered about it ' wo...actually, i...i was just going to change...' he stammered 'oh, ohkay, i am going out come and join us for breakfast' she said and walked away, he stood up abruptly and went to the cupboard, putting the diary inside the drawer and closed drawer and sighed in relief unknown with the fact that a pair of eyes had witnessed it... zoya pretend that she left the room but stop at the door only, she sneaked inside to see him and his next move, she was hell confuse with the way he reacted and she can feel something strange in this and so was determined to know the reason behind this newly created mystery about the diary and his behavior
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few hour passed since asad left and zoya, she was just lost in that morning incident , even there was nothing much to think about but she was getting impatient, the way asad reacted in the morning, why was he hiding that diary from her? Was there something she don't know? But asad never had hidden anything from her!!! For her he was an open book, she knew it won't be a good act by her if she will take out that diary but she can't even sit calmly, she was so much impatient to know what was there in that..she wasn't able to resist the force inside her which was making her restless forcing her to have a look at the diary, she sighed, at last she decide what she should do...
Walking towards the cupboard she opened the drawer, for a moment she eyed that diary, inhaling a deep breath she took it out and walk to the couch to sit down, there was no one at home except dilshaad who also was in her room resting, while the men went to work and humaira went at her parent's place
She opened the diary and red the first page
i had an important meeting today, and i got that deal, it was very much important for my company, i know for world the credit will be giving to me, but for me i will give all the credit to her!!! today i wore my favorite tie which she gifted me few years back, that time i never knew that i can fall in love ever that too with her but when i had realized my feelings for her, i am on cloud nine...i think that nothing better can happen in happen in my life then this, i never knew that i will ever have this feeling called love in me that too for her but it happened and i love it...i had bought a ring for her and i am going to propose her today...i can't explain how i am feeling right now because it is very new for me'
When she started reading this paragraph she was hell confused later a bit of it made sense and then at the end she realized what he is saying and her eyes pooped out, she stared at that peice of writing unbelievably 'asad was in love?' she questioned herself, not able to control herself she turned pages after pages to get a look, there were few entries in the start but there was no date or anything else which can help her to figure out that when actually it happened, she stopped when she found the next page empty, she turned few more which were also empty, she didn't checked further and returned to the second page
i decided to take her out for dinner but my bad luck!! She left for a trip with her college, i feel dejected, i hope she come back soon, i miss her...i don't know why but i am having this bad feeling that it's quite late now, i am feeling as if i will lose her...'
'who is that girl?...whom he fall in love with...!! Why i don't know about her...!!' she thought and turned next page
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As the plane took off asad tried to distract his mind by reading some magazine but he wasn't able to stop himself from thinking about morning, she had almost caught him...and once again his mind drifted back to the past reminding him about those days when he fall in love with ____ .
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