A: "Now where were we?"
S: "I want to go to bed!"
A: "An excellent suggestion..."
Sanam blushed when she realized what that had sounded like. She really needed to watch what she said to Aahil. He seemed in an "amorous mood" and he was not snapping out of it!
S: "I mean I am tired!"
A: "I carried you here and your already tired? I want to go to bed too, but I'm not in the mood to sleep!" Aahil murmured, looking at Sanam's lips
Seeing the way he was looking at her, made Sanam's throat go dry. This was moving into dangerous territory. Sanam looked up then and looked him in the eyes.
S: "Look Aahil, this joke has gone on long enough. You have amused yourself at my expense long enough today!"
A: "What joke are you referring to Sanam? Does it look like I am amused?"
S: "Wasn't it a joke to you to tell all your friends that I used to be your cook and that I am from a small town?"
Aahil closed his eyes. He knew he had acted like a jerk. But what was done was done. At the time he felt justified in acting as he had. She had no idea what it did to him to see her with Rehan. So he said defiantly;
A: Those were facts I stated Sanam. There is nothing funny about it.
S: "You know very well what your friends would have been thinking. Wasn't it enough that you ruined my business, and forced me to be in the situation that I have ended up in? Do you have to play with my self respect too? Do you have to show everyone that you married beneath you?? The truth is that I am from a very good family. A family who lived here in Bhopal. My mum was from New York and my dad was an architect who owned his own firm. If they had not died in an accident when I was small, then Badi Ammi would never have moved. I would have grown up here in Bhopal. Not Punjab!"
Aahil didn't know these facts about Sanam. He knew that her parents were from Bhopal. But that her Mum was American and her dad an architect? That part he didn't know. Did she really think that he was ashamed of her background? The truth was he didn't care. He had fallen for her thinking he knew everything about her. He had been right when he told the lawyer that "Ishq Peh koi zor Nahin Chaltha". That really was true. The fact that she comes from an illustrious background was neither here nor there for him. It would not change how he felt about her. She must think that he was really shallow. How can he make her understand that he had said all those things because he was angry and jealous. Angry that she had let Rehan get close to her! Let Rehan wipe her tears!When HE wanted to be the one do that?
A: "Sanam, your pedigree is not important to me. Whatever you might think of me, I am not that shallow. I don't think for one minute that I married beneath me. I only said those things coz I was mad. I know I behaved badly. But I didn't like it when I saw you so close to Rehan. I..."
S: "Why Aahil? Why do you care if I am close to Rehan? Why does it matter to you if I spend time with him, if he is my friend? Why does it matter to you who I spend time with?"
A: "I already told you Sanam..."
S: "Yes, I am your wife. You already told me that. But that doesn't answer my question Aahil. When we both agreed to this marriage we became husband and wife. But we both know this is not a real marriage. So why would you care what I did?"
Aahil was frustrated with her attitude. What did she want him to say? She was his wife. He had all the right to be possessive of her. No matter what she thought this marriage was, the fact was they WERE married. It was a different matter that he was crazy in love with her, and that's why he was jealous and possessive.But how can he tell her that, when he knew she didn't feel the same? He didn't know if he could risk that right now. She seemed to be effected by him. But that was not enough for him to put his heart on the line. He needed more. Yes, Aahil Raza Ibrahim was feeling insecure. Not something he was used to feeling. This feeling was the pits. If only she would understand how he felt, without so many words?
A: Dammit, Sanam, does everything need to be said in so many words? For once, cant you ever understand anything without a blow by blow description? I asked you the same question weeks ago? "Sab kuch samjana Zaroori hain Kya? Kya Tum bath Ko Kud samaj Nahin Sakthi?"
S: "When you told me that I shouldn't "forget my place", that was said in so many words too. So if you can say THAT in so many words, why can't you tell me why you hate me being close to Rehan in so many words too? Why is it so hard?"
A: "Because it IS Ok? I didn't grow up telling people my feelings? Most of the time there was no one who wanted to know anyway. So I'm sorry if I can't just blurt everything out!"
S: "You expressed your so called feelings very well in front of that lawyer and then you told me that it was all an act? Tonight you did the same in front of your friends? Was that all an act too?"
A: "I think you already know the answer to that question Sanam. So why are you asking me?"
S: "DO I know the answer Aahil? I don't want to assume anything. I have never liked reading into things. I like to be sure of things. I don't know where I stand with you? Maybe I want to know. You blow hot and cold all the time. You are confusing me!"
At that Aahil moved his arms down from the wall and took hold of Sanam's arms and pulled her towards him.
A: "I can say the same thing to you Sanam! Do you think your the only one that's confused?You accuse me of blowing hot and cold. What are you doing?"
S: "Me?"
A: Yes you. Yesterday you told me to stop drinking, and when I asked you on what authority you are telling me this, you said "Main Apki Biwi hu Aahil". Then today, when I ask you why it bothers you when I touch you and not when Rehan does... You tell me that you are not my "Asli Biwi!"So your not the only one who's confused Sanam. I am confused too!"
S: "Maybe I said that because I wanted to remind myself that I am not your real wife, in case you remind me again, not to forget my place".
A:"Why do you only remember the bad things that have happened between us? Why don't you remember the good? I told you on the night we got married that to me marriage means sharing each other's destiny? I was prepared to share it all with you Sanam. But then you told me you didn't want to be my wife, that you're waiting to be free. That got to me. So I tossed you out of our room. But I am sure you only remember the last part!" He said roughly.
S: "What good are you talking of Aahil? The only good things were that you saved my life. Twice. I know I owe you for that. But the rest of it? It's been anything but ideal!"
A: "Yes I saved your life. The first time I came because you called me. The second time I came of my own volition. But that time you accused me of hating you. As if a man would drive like a maniac to come searching for a women he hates? Even if you refuse to understand what drove me, I want to understand what drove you?"
S: "What do you mean?"
A: "I mean, of all the people you could possibly call, why did you call ME? The man you hated?"
S: "I hardly know anyone in Bhopal. Who else would I call?"
A: "Rehan. You knew Rehan. Why didn't you call him?"
To be continued...
So this update was intense. Not on the same vein as the last two. I wanted to have these two start a serious discussion. But this may lead down uncharted paths again. Stay tuned for the next part soon!
Cheers
Mandy
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