Why this obsession with being gora!?!?!?

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@ShellJA

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

You could have an absolutely beautiful woman but if her colour is tiny bit dark and people will focus on the colour not the beauty. Being fair and ugly (inside and outside) is okay but being dark is the worse thing you can be? Why is this? Even in the south where people r of a darker complexion but they also discuss on minute differences in skin colour.

I have seen this in my family. My son plays and swims outdoors all summer and gets very dark and once to tease I called him "kaalu" affectionally my mother took a huge offence to my language as if I called him something really bad.

I don't get it. Help me understand what is this?

Edited by Shell16 - 13 years ago

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Desigirl144

@Desigirl144

Navigator

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

😆 It's such a unfortunately common issue with South Asian people! I guess fair is considered to be beautiful rather than dusky which is considered to be ugly. My best guess is that I guess many South Asian families are stuck in the colonial times where young British women were considered beautiful because of their untouched and pure pale skin. And I believe, being dark or dusky is NOT a bad thing... if we want to be more scientific about it then it's really about how much melanin your skin produces. 😆

And in your situation when you called your son "Kaalu" affectionately, your mother took it as an offence is because being "Kaala or Kaali" is a bad thing because being dark means you're not very good looking. Trust me, lol, I've seen it with my own eyes... But, honestly speaking even I'm not the lightest...I have a olive tone to me. I've seen such beautiful girls and handsome guys who are dusky...their features are usually the most brightest! And in the end my dear, that's all that matters. And this sort of "dusky" and "pale" issue is just passed on generation to generation even if our generation doesn't neccessarily care, but it's usually the older generation that cares! Because this concept of pale and dusky was so deeply ingrained in their mind that it's so hard to convince them otherwise.

And another teeny tiny History lesson here, this dark and light issue was prevalent in Britain as well too! The paler women were considered beautiful and of high class society and the more darker women were considered as part of the lower class society and as less beautiful. So I guess the British left too much of themselves back in India. 😆

I've seen this really annoying auntie I know of and she commented saying to my mother, " Aapki bahu kaa rang dood jaisa saaf hai"

Meaning, your daughter in laws skin is as clear and white as milk. Good lord, the auntie really took milk seriously...😆 But I guess that's why... I hope this explains it for you!

Edited by Desigirl144 - 13 years ago

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sanju

@Sanju_

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

I don't understand the obsession either😕..it's quite sickening to be honest and this obsession in South Indian countries, especially in india is simply unbelievable! "kaalu" is such a sweet pet name...I call one of cousins "kaalu" too but not because she is dark-skinned...but that's just out of love!! I love all such kinds of pet names..

I heard that even in the marriage advertisements, the requirement is that the girl has to be fair🤢...I haven't seen such ads myself since I live in the US but I wouldn't be surprised if this is true!!

connecting to the show, I would any day prefer a sweet, lovely, cultured girl like Nikkhat for my brother rather than a gori ladki who isn't cultured enough!! Nikkhat might be little dark-skinned but she is so so so so pretty!!! I just wish that her family shows the doors to that Haseena sth and her rishta😡

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sanju

@Sanju_

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

lol okay there was a guest aunty in my home...and she is what 26 years old? but she is so obsessed with the fair skin! she has a 5 years old son and 7 months old daughter...my entire family was so annoyed by her habit of picking up everyone based on their skin color...well, in my family no one is actually dark-skinned even though my dad is comparatively dark-skinned...so she used to comment about my dad only...but she left nobody else...I was like "okay aunty, what will you do if your son falls in love with a dark-skinned girl? would you not let him marry her just coz of her skin?" and she hardly had an answer...and once, she picked up on a 8 years old kid as well (whom I love so much)...I wasn't present at that time but my mom got so annoyed that she literally told her ki she is obsessed with fair skin!!! from that day she at least couldn't gather up the courage to pick on ark-skinned people in front of us😕😃😆...such pathetic people still exist in our societies and I don't think it has to do with the generations...I mean she is just 26 years old and yet is so narrow-indeed regarding the skin color!!

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@ShellJA

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

@desigirl

I agree this is left over colonialism but it has been prevalent in society across the board and goes back very very far back in history. It is a way to keep the separation in the classes and actually oppress people. In the US during the time of slavery ...as children were born of landowners and slaves ..as they started to get lighter and lighter the more acceptable they become in society. In North African countries cases of skin cancer are increasing as women are using skin lightening bleaching creams. We know about India and the subcontinent. I have seen advertisements for skin lightening creams on Chinese channels as well. My Japanese friend doesn't find Koreans and Filipinos attractive the main reason is that they are darker.

This obsession with being gora and that white is better than everything and everyone exists in all cultures and societies. This is sick! Why do people still accept it and carry on this? Everyone on Indian TV is 100 times lighter than people walking on the street.

I still don't get it.

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Desigirl144

@Desigirl144

Navigator

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: Shell16
@desigirl

I agree this is left over colonialism but it has been prevalent in society across the board and goes back very very far back in history. It is a way to keep the separation in the classes and actually oppress people. In the US during the time of slavery ...as children were born of landowners and slaves ..as they started to get lighter and lighter the more acceptable they become in society. In North African countries cases of skin cancer are increasing as women are using skin lightening bleaching creams. We know about India and the subcontinent. I have seen advertisements for skin lightening creams on Chinese channels as well. My Japanese friend doesn't find Koreans and Filipinos attractive the main reason is that they are darker.

This obsession with being gora and that white is better than everything and everyone exists in all cultures and societies. This is sick! Why do people still accept it and carry on this? Everyone on Indian TV is 100 times lighter than people walking on the street.

I still don't get it.

Yess! I forgot to mention that this happened during the times of Slavery in the United States. And lol, my cousins in Pakistan use these bleach creams and my God, yeah it does work at times😆...but the amount of chemicals they induce into their skin increasing thing slike cancer is unbelievable. Why shouldn't you accept someone for who they are? Really, their skin color is just how dark their pigment is? How can we blame people for that? Isn't that just natural and God given. Like I said, this sort of stuff is too deeply imbibed into our society that its almost close to impossible to remove it... And Indian Tv is a master when it comes to makeup. Many of our telly actresses are dark skinned. Take Jennifer Winget who played Ridhimma in the popular doctor show Dil Mil Gaye! Shes dusky...and in the show she was shown as a little lighter than what she is in real life... So maybe it's prevalent in our shows unconsciously?

I know that it's sick hun, but honestly, you can wack your head against the wall begging for people to stop thinking in such a disgusting manner... and you still won't get results😆 I've just learnt to ignore crap like that... So what? God has made every man and woman goodlooking...it just takes someone else to see it! 😊

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brainychild92

@brainychild92

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

my cousin was 12 when she was gifted fair-skin cream and she isn't even that dark!

when i was born, the first question my aunt asked my mom was if the baby (referring to me) was gori or kaali.

some people are just too much!

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mithilalovesksg

@mithilalovesksg

Trailblazer

+ 7

Posted: 13 years ago

this is seriously very big issue being kali and gori. i just dont understand sometime we behave such modern and civilised people bt something never change colour issue cast issue . and there is believe also if u are black u cant get married easily and same thing goes if u are fat seriously black and fat people can also be beutuful people should just focus on inner beuty more that outher beuty then better . i am liking the show not only because of ksg that is the reasoon for sure bt they are highlighting too many things. colour issue, son and daughter whose father get married again, girls having modern views and wearing jeans doesnt means they are wrong and dont know tehzeeb and all that. hope indian people come out with all this sooner.

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rusha4003

@rusha4003

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

Nice post Shelly ...

The ingrained bias against darker skin tone runs very deep in our society

I cant see any end to this, if anything the stress on fairness is increasing day by day ... what with tens of new fairness products being marketed every year ! And I was thinking that with education and exposure, people will realise how silly this obsession about skin color is !! 😔

Unfortunately ... cant see how this will stop ...

In fact I have a great grouse against stars advertising for fairness creams ... The dark skinned ppl already reeling under color bias end up with a complex. And I cant stand the ads which show ppl achieving something just becos they used a fairness cream ...

Edited by rusha4003 - 13 years ago

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@ShellJA

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: brainychild92
my cousin was 12 when she was gifted fair-skin cream and she isn't even that dark!

when i was born, the first question my aunt asked my mom was if the baby (referring to me) was gori or kaali.

some people are just too much!

That is crazy.

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Why this obsession with being gora!?!?!?

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