Chapter 106
The Meaning of Forever
This night stretched into a hellish eternity, altering his sense of time. How many hours or days passed just in wait, waiting for her to simply wake up?
It had in fact been only two days, and he remained in their room for the entirety of that time. Piya could wake up at any moment, and he needed to be prepared for when that happened. Young vampires were erratic and prone to being dangerous if left alone. He would know.
A window was pushed open, silk curtains floating in the air then falling with the cool night breeze. Abhay stared at them, counting the number of times they lifted and touched the floor in his head. One hand held onto hers, fingers entwined against her resting heart.
“I know you won’t get mad, but…”
Abhay’s voice trailed, drowned out by the sound of crickets and the wind. She remained unconscious, with her head on his lap and pillow underneath. He touched her forehead, smoothing out stray hairs from time to time. It looked like she was sleeping peacefully, without a single ounce of pain. But he knew how much the transformation could hurt. It was akin to a fire burning through one’s veins, trapped, without being able to move. Paralyzing the victim until it was complete.
All he could do was at least keep her comfortable.
Her warmth was gone, her heart was silent, but she was still there. They were at least together. Abhay stared at her sleeping visage with guilt in his eyes. He himself had become too deeply attached to those things. It was a mistake to do so, when he himself didn’t know when they would be snatched from underneath their feet.
“It’s too quiet in here now…”
After the bite and return home, he took Piya straight to their room, and strictly forbade anyone from entering without his permission. He at least wanted the peace that he sought for so long, to process his volatile emotions. Taking out the voice recorder from the nightstand drawer, he pressed play and set it on loop, and quickly closed his eyes. If he kept them open, he would see the bite wound and it would only make him curse himself more. His free hand clawed into the mattress out of view, tearing through the cloth. It was illogical, but he wanted her to be mad at him, more than he was at himself. He wanted her to yell at him and curse him and not speak to him for days or even weeks. Yet again, he took someone’s humanity away from them, out of his own selfishness.
It was an agonizing wait, and he wasn’t sure how many more minutes he was able to bear.
“I need to step away for a bit,” he repeated to himself. He thought it would make things move faster. Right then, everything was too stagnant. He carefully adjusted Piya on his side of the bed and tucked her in, donning his coat and hopping off the balcony to take a short walk outside to get a change of atmosphere. He visited their hill, glad to see that it was vibrant and alive again. She would be happy to see it too. He walked his once usual path to her villa, and stared at the wooden balcony where they shared a memorable conversation under the falling snow. A smile decorated his face remembering those moments, then touching his dimple with his own finger. He blinked, and the other was touched by an illusion of Piya, who made a mischievous face at him and ran off back towards the mansion. He turned to follow, but the illusion vanished by then.
His instincts were trying to tell him something. The dread that followed gave him urgency.
Should I go back and check?
He had a feeling it was time. And he was right. Back in their room, Piya had finally opened her eyes. Everything looked different. She felt different, in mind and body. Reborn. The world seemed clearer and noisier. But her neck and stomach throbbed with lingering pain, taking her out of the initial enjoyment. The recorder fell on the floor as she struggled to sit up. She stared at it, glad that it didn’t break. She could hear their song with more nuance in the sound.
Why is it so hard to move? What happened?
Piya looked up, but Abhay was nowhere to be found. But his scent lingered strongly in the sheets. Curling her knees to her chest, she buried her nose in the covers. Her body shook with some sort of fear, but the scent calmed. Sandalwood and roses.
Where are you, Abhay?
The pain got worse then better, and cycled like so for a few minutes. Her head felt heavy and throat felt very dry. It hurt to swallow. She blinked twice, shoved the covers aside, and hobbled over to a mirror, only to find a reflection missing from it.
“What?” She said, still not used to speaking out loud again after many months of deafness. “Ahh–”
A shooting pain in her head forced her to her knees. Something about her felt different. Her senses were incredibly sensitive, and that was making her feel ill. A thud of shoes hit the floor outside on the balcony, and Abhay’s scent hit her nose much more strongly than she was used to. She tried to turn, but the pain in her neck forced her head down again.
“A-Abhay…,” she called out, holding her neck. He rushed to her and lifted her in his arms.
“Why did you get up, jaan?” He scolded, worried. Thank goodness he made it in time. Piya shook her head as he lay her in bed again. That was when he saw her eyes. A gradient blend of red and violet. It was an interesting combination, one he had never seen before. It was quite special, just like her.
“Abhay…,” she whispered, reaching her hand out to touch his cheek. He took it and held it between his palms. “Everything hurts…”
“I know…I–“
He paused, and turned away. Piya blinked slowly and waited for him to continue, and started to sit herself up again when he didn’t. She was confused about what was going on. What had happened to her?
“Is it over?”
He looked at her again, and leaned down to kiss her forehead, nodding.
“It’s over. Ayushmaan is dead, as are most of the Vitael. The remaining were captured and imprisoned for eternity. And it was thanks to you. You freed Nature.”
Piya looked at him with disbelief. That branch she touched, and that brief meeting she had with the cosmic being, it came back rushing into her memory. Something about a new fate. She touched her ears, and pushed herself up, holding onto Abhay’s arm when her head started to spin.
“What happened to me? I was waiting for you, to watch the stars together. I felt sleepy, and now I’m here. Did I fall asleep there?”
Beating around the bush wouldn’t help anything. He took a deep breath and helped her stand up. The lack of reflection should’ve been a dead giveaway, but her mind was too jumbled at first to put two and two together. He took his own ring off, and vanished from sight. Piya turned around, mouth open.
“I’m–”
She placed her palm over her chest, but couldn’t place a beat. Abhay went to the nightstand and took out a ring for her protection, and slipped it on her finger. He had it made while she was in the middle of the transition. Her image then revealed itself in the mirror, and she almost didn’t recognize herself. With a palm on that very mirror, she touched the skin under her eyes and stared at the creature in the reflection. Was she dreaming?
A new fate.
“You turned me, didn’t you?” She asked, calmly.
Abhay shut his eyes and turned his face away, tossing his coat aside. He was unable to look at her in the eye. Piya dropped her arms to the sides, waiting for him to say something. But of course, this change wasn’t easy on him either. Now she could even sense his pain better. That was the last thing she wanted, for him to be tormented because of this.
Abhay…you idiot…
She shook her head and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her cheeks into his soft sweater. Her eyes closed too, and nose trailed to take in his scent. His silence only confirmed it.
I’m not human anymore.
“So it has been done…”
“.....yes.”
“I’m glad it was you who did it, no one else…,” she continued. “And don’t you dare say sorry…”
Her legs began to give out from underneath her. Abhay caught her and took her to the bed. But she didn’t want to rest. She crawled into his lap, and held on tight. She wanted him to talk, to let out his frustrations. She wanted to listen. Abhay just held her, hiding in the crook of her neck, under her locks. All he prepared for was an apology.
“I know you didn’t want to…”
Abhay wanted to let her do all the talking instead, and chose to listen. As a result, they both stayed quiet for a moment. Piya couldn’t describe the comfort she felt in that same moment, of finally being able to be with him for as long as time lived. No conflicts or threats to disturb them. Eternity was in their grasp. Being in his arms felt like heaven on earth.
“Why won’t you say anything?,” she murmured, sounding mildly upset. Abhay shook his head.
“How are you feeling?” He asked. Piya frowned.
“I feel better. Even the pain is going away.” She curled her fingers behind his ears. “Promise.”
Well, it wasn’t the complete truth. She did feel a burning dryness in her throat. But she didn’t want to focus on that now, worried about the reaction and outcome, wanting to drink something but not water. She tried to hide the discomfort on her face by leaning against his collarbone, but Abhay felt her head bob as she swallowed. The mere thought of knowing what she needed made her feel uneasy. Abhay rubbed her back gently to calm her down. Without her awareness, she was twisting the fabric of his top, and shivering.
“You don’t need to resist right now, jaan. Let it out, I will be here to take care of you.”
Piya anxiously nodded. The urges became much stronger as she held it in. She could feel a feral power lurking inside her, desperate for freedom and control. Perhaps that was the beast that lived inside every vampire, the monster in her head. Abhay reluctantly pulled out the ice chest from underneath the bed and retrieved one blood bag for her. When the lid fell shut, the twisting turned into violent shaking.
“Just breathe. Don’t let the beast get more desperate by holding back.” He coached. “This is all for you. Let it out.”
Piya nodded again, but only peeked at the bag from a side glance. That blood smelled sweet to her now, not salty and metallic. Her face and jaw strained, and the razor sharp fangs of a young vampire broke through the gums, aching with thirst. Abhay held it closer to her, with an arm tight around her waist.
It hurt him to see her in this form, now no different from him. But nothing else could be done. This was her fate. This was her life from now on.
She took the bag from him with shaky fingers and bit into one side. The blood wasn’t warm, from being in an ice chest for hours or even days, but it was tasty and it smelled heavenly. Though sloppy while drinking, she emptied the bag quickly and dropped it on her lap. Abhay gently wiped her lips with his thumb and licked them clean.
“Better?” He asked, tossing the empty bag into the trash can. Piya nodded, holding onto him again, and licking the trails of the liquid off her hands. The burn had subsided for now, and her body felt calm again. She had to admit, this was all frightening to her. The sensory overload, the bloodlust, and the unknown aspects of this life still in front of her. Many abilities yet to manifest in the future. Much to learn.
“It’s scary, isn’t it?” He said, touching his cheek to her hair. She hesitantly nodded and held him tighter. It was scary, but at least she had him beside her. “I’m not leaving your side, not even for a second, for the next few days.”
“Thank you…” she murmured. There were thousands of new sensations that she had to pick out and decipher. She didn’t want to move from his embrace. It was her safe space, a space that didn’t change much. Abhay kissed her forehead and weaved his fingers through her hair. “I missed listening to your voice.”
“And I missed hearing yours….”
He looked outside the window. Small balls of light gathered above and below the railing. Small fireflies lighting up the night sky, accompanied by the bright and beautiful moon and stars. He lifted her into his arms again and took her outside to the swing. She cuddled with him in his lap, awed by the little creatures like shooting stars fallen on the earth. One sat on her finger, and she lifted it to his face. They met eyes, kept them there, and fell in love all over again. Neither of them noticed when the firefly flew off again.
“Is it really all over now?” She asked, still unable to believe that no one was coming after them to kill or separate them. “Is it safe?”
“All over. This time forever.”
The swing rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. Piya shivered again, from the mirad of sounds, and stared off into the distance while gripping his top. The fireflies floated in the airs between the leaves of trees, dancing.
“It’s so clear….,” she said. The world looked different, in a good way. She looked at Abhay again, and touched his face. Every detail she could see clearly. “So pretty…”
He took her hand and kissed her palm, brushing her hair aside to check her wounds. It was healing nicely, only the scars remained. The tips of his fingers brushed over them. They didn’t feel cold anymore.
“Does it hurt still?” He asked. She shook her head. He touched her belly next. “How about here?”
“No. I’m feeling better now.”
He nodded, and paused again. Piya could see tears brimming in his eyes. He averted her gaze.
“I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”
“Abhay….”
“I didn’t want to….I don’t want you to suffer in this world like I have.”
He was talking to himself in between, and the tears spilled. Piya wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him tight.
“You’re here, na? How could I suffer?”
He knew she would say something like that, and it did little to comfort him. Piya sighed. Somewhere in her own desire and stubbornness to turn, she overlooked how he would be feeling about the matter. She had seen him go through it all herself, and didn’t think to discuss it more in the past. That was a mistake she thought she made. She touched their foreheads together.
“What are you afraid of, Abhay?”
He looked at her, and she nodded. Although she had seen it for herself in his past, Piya knew she still had to understand all the emotion he was going through at the time. No one understood that better than Abhay himself.
“When I turned, I knew I was leaving my family behind. Siddharth and Mandu were still human then, right? Many times, I wanted to go to them, be with them, tell them that I was still walking this earth and that they didn’t have to cry for me anymore.”
Piya held his hands and locked their fingers together, with her ears open.
“But I couldn’t. Our worlds were separate. I had to leave them behind, and if things didn’t progress in the way that they did, I’d be living here alone today. I didn’t want that for you. Your uncle, aunt, and friends, someday you will have to leave them behind. Not only will you outlive them, you will have to step out of their lives at the right time to avoid suspicion. Constantly moving from city to city, since you won’t age anymore.” He paused. “And even now, I can’t guarantee how many times you will get to see them, until you learn self control. Anything and everything that moves will make you thirsty.”
Piya shook her head.
“That’s what I am afraid of. Forcing you to be a part of this lonely existence. Humanity is a very preciousthing, and now you can never have it back again.”
She pressed her head against his chest and drew circles on the fabric, then looked up and nodded.
“I know my life has changed. I know that I will outlive those people that I love and cherish. I know I won’t be able to eat my favorite foods, or bask in the sun all the time, or do other human things again. And I’m okay with that. I made that promise to you when we wed, whether it was my fate already or not.”
She paused again.
“I just….wanted more time with you. I don’t want to grow old in some 50 years and take you with me when I die…when we can instead have centuries just like this. You’ve spent so many years unhappy and alone. I want to see your smile for so much longer than that. Neither of us will be alone, since we have each other.”
“I feel like I cheated you. I took away your humanity without even asking. I was selfish.”
“You saved me, Abhay. Not cheated. If I’m alive, it's because of you.” She placed her knees on either side of him and cupped his cheeks. “As for my humanity, I am not upset about losing it. I’ve accepted this long back.”
“Easier said than done, jaan. This life is not an easy one.”
“I know. But I will try my hardest to make the most of it. Remember when I first said I wanted to be with you no matter what, that we would deal with any problem that gets thrown our way when it comes down to it? Why not spend this moment without worrying about what the future holds? We’re together, and danger is averted. Can’t we spend some time like normal couples do? I’m tired of fighting and being terrified of the world, Abhay. I want at least a century of vacation as payment.”
She wiped his tears and kissed his cheek.
“You love me, don’t you?”
He nodded.
“More than anything.”
“Then don’t think you’ve wronged me. I’m happy with this decision. And whatever happens in the future, I want us to support each other, just be at each other’s side. Whatever comes, we’ll face it together, like we always have.”
She took off his wedding ring and got down on one knee, like she was proposing to him.
“Abhay Raichand, would you like to spend eternity with me?”
He didn’t know what to say. It was an unexpected gesture. Piya began to frown, thinking about why he was taking so long to answer.
Stupid Raichand, stop making me second guess my decision of marrying you.
The tension was broken with his sudden chuckle, followed by her shy smile. He extended his hand.
“I would love to.”
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