Chapter 8
She sat looking through the photo albums. She saw herself there. She looked happy. She always looked at him so adoringly. But she could see from the pictures that he looked detached.
He told her about her father. She saw him in so many of the pictures. She caressed his face but she didn't remember him and she so desperately wanted to. From what Yash told her, they had a very close relationship. He told her that he father lived for her and she couldn't even honour him by one single memory.
He had told her why he had married her. That he only wanted her family business. He told her that she had found out on the day that she came to tell him about her pregnancy. She had loved him before but after that she wanted nothing to do with him. He told her about her father's illness and death and her reaction to it. He told her that she was happy again when the baby arrived but that she retreated into herself when the baby died. Then she just disappeared one day. And it was by chance that he found her again at the orphanage. She believed everything he told her. But she did not believe it when he told her he loved her.
"I want to go home. To my father's house. Will you take me there?"
"When do you want to go?"
"As soon as possible please."
The next day she was standing in the home that she apparently had grown up in. Still she remembered nothing. The house was still open even though no one lived there. Apparently he came there from time to time. Especially on his business trips. The domestic staff were so happy to see her. She smiled but to her they were strangers. She sat in the room that she understood to be her fathers. Desperately trying to remember. It was so frustrating. She started to sob.
He came to her. He wanted to hold her. Comfort her.
"No! No! Don't touch me. Don't you touch me. I have nothing anymore. There is no more reason for you to pretend to care for me."
"Aarti, please. I am not pretending."
"Go home. You don't belong here. You deceived me and my father. And because of you I can't even remember the only man that loved me. I hate you. I hate you." She was hysterical.
"Fine, just calm down please. I won't touch you. But I won't leave you here alone. Bauji trusted me to look after you and I didn't do so before, but now I will whether you want me to or not."
He left the room.
She lay down on her father's bed and cried till she fell asleep.
She woke up much later. It was already dark.
She walked out of the room. She was hungry. It was already way past supper time and she didn't have lunch.
She heard the sound of the TV. She went to the TV room and saw him sitting there, eating popcorn and watching a movie. It was one of her favourites. Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the rings. He saw her.
"Aarti, you must be hungry. Naina left some food in the microwave for you. I will go warm it and bring it to you."
"No need. I can do it myself."
She went to the kitchen, warmed her food and ate.
When she was finished he was still watching.
"Won't you watch with me, Aarti? It's one of you and bauji's favourites. The two of you used to watch together all the time. Come sit."
She sat down on the couch. He put a blanket around her. She felt as if something was missing. She wrapped the blanket tightly around her. He put the popcorn between them and she started watching and eating the popcorn. But she stopped when her hand touched his when she took some. Then the scene came up that always made her cry. The scene where Boromir dies and acknowledges Aragorn as his king. She turned to her right. Expecting the tight embrace and kiss on the top of her head that was always part of this scene. But there was no one there.
"Pappa" she whispered.
"Pappa" she said again. And she started shouting it over and over, her body convulsing in sobs. He had tears in his eyes too. He held her tight even as she struggled to get out of his embrace.
"I want my pappa. I want my pappa" she cried and screamed. He knew there were no words to console her. He could not give her what she wanted. He could not even give her comfort.
Finally she stopped out of sheer exhaustion. She stopped screaming and crying but her body was still convulsing in dry sobs. He was still holding on to her. She looked the way she did when their child died. He felt cold chills engulf him. He didn't want to go back there. He picked her up and took her to their bedroom and put her between the sheets. He was not sure how much she had remembered. He made her take a sedative. And she slept again. But it was fitful sleep. She was mumbling and crying in her sleep. He dozed off from time to time but he couldn't really sleep. Half way through the night he felt that she had a fever. He started wiping her down with a cool cloth. The next morning when the fever had not abated he got the doctor in.
He prescribed some medicine. Naina made some soup and he fed her the times she woke up and gave her, her meds. After 2 days the fever stopped and she finally woke up. She sat up and looked at him where he sat working on his laptop."
"How are you feeling now Aarti"
"Fine." She got up and went to the shower.
When she was finished she went downstairs and he followed her.
"Aarti, don't you think you should rest."
"I said I am fine, didn't I?"
"Aarti, you remembered."
"I remembered my father and this house. I don't remember you. You can go back home. I will stay here. I will find a job here."
"You can work as an engineer as VK and S again."
"No thank you. I want no association with you or your company."
"It's yours AArti."
"No it's not. Need I remind you that you stole it? You told me so yourself."
"Aarti, I had papers drawn up. It's been with the lawyers for a long time now. I didn't know where you were and then I found you, I didn't want you to find out that way, who I was. I want to give you back your and bauji's shares as well as mine. That will make you the majority shareholder in the company."
Her head shot up.
"What? Why would you do that?"
"Because it's no longer the most important thing to me. You are. There is no meaning to me life without you."
"And you think that I will come back to you if you do that?"
"That is not why I am doing it. I just want to do the right thing. I am not the same Yash Scindiya that married you Aarti. I have changed."
"I don't know that Yash Scindiya and I hardly know this one. All I know is what you told me. So no matter what you say it means nothing to me. And I don't want anything from you."
"It's not mine Aarti. The VK shares are rightfully yours."
"What do I know about running a company anyway?"
"I can still continue to do that. You were quite an accomplished engineer. But you gave that up when we got married. After all you had the best teacher. Your father was the best engineer and business man that I knew. And he was an even better father. He was so good to me. He taught me so much. How to be a better engineer, how to better run a business and how to be a better husband and father. And most of all how to be a better person."
"And this is why, you stole from him. This is why you ruined his daughter's life."
He smiled.
"Bauji was a very intelligent man. You know that. Do you think he didn't know what he was doing when he allowed me to marry you and when he signed over those shares? He saw the potential in me that even I did not. He knew he was dying and he was confident that I could take care of you. He was confident that I would take care of you and love you as he had done. And today I stand ashamed, because I failed the best father I have known miserably."
She looked at him. She couldn't help but feel that he was sincere. The look in his eyes, his words tugged at her heart. Was this really the man that her pappa had chosen for her? Did her father trust him? But of his own accord he had acknowledged that he had hurt her and stolen from her. No, she could not trust him yet. She only went by his account of things.
"Yash, if what you are saying is true, then thank you for giving my father peace of mind before he died. Thank you for making him believe that you love me and that you can take care of me. I will be forever grateful to you for that."
"I didn't do it for your gratitude. It was how I felt ... how I still feel. I love you Aarti and I know that deep down that you still love me too, I can wait, and I will be patient."
"What if I never regain my memory fully and what if I can never come back to you. How long will you wait."
He laughed mirthlessly.
"How long does one wait for your one true and only love. The one that showed you a new way of life. In fact the one that made an emotionally dead person alive. The one that taught you what it was to live and to love. The one that gave you herself in every sense of the word and made you want to be a better person, the best person you could be so that you are worthy of her. Is there is time limit to that, my love? I don't thinks so. But don't expect me to let you go. If you never remember how you loved me and if you never love me again, I don't care. I will never let you go."
"So what you are saying, despite everything you will still only have your way. As usual."
"No Aarti, that's not how it is."
"It's exactly how it is. Yash, please give me some alone time. I can't deal with this now."
"Fine, I will go to the office for the rest of the day. Please consider coming back to VK & S. We need someone like you there."
She didn't answer.
He left and she decided to call Mansi and Neelam. She remembered them as well. She only remembered things from her life in Bhopal, before she married him.
They both came over right away. They were happy to see her. They cried together. They finally had their friend back. Mansi was married now and Neelam was engaged. They stayed the day and they cooked together. Their partners would come and have supper at KM. It also meant she did not have to be alone with him.
He came home and he heard laughter in the kitchen. He hadn't heard that for a while. He went there and saw her cooking with her friends and chatting and joking.
She stopped laughing immediately when she saw him.
"Namaste Yashji" said Neelam and Mansi.
"Namaste."
"Yash, I have invited Neelam and Mansi and their partners for dinner."
"Good. I will go shower and change."
Dinner was pleasant. She was almost her old self except where it came to him. He didn't say much, he was more of an observer. He loved to see her like this again. She was laughing and joking as they were telling tales of all the naughty things they got up to when they were younger. What a plain Jane and bookworm Aarti was. How they had to beg her to dress like a girl and put on some make up. Till they started speaking of their vacation in Mumbai where they dressed her up to go to the cub. The vacation that she met him. An awkward silence fell over the room.
"I don't remember that." she said.
"No matter" said Neelam. "We will get the desert."
Aarti and Neelam got up to get the desert. When they sat down again she said.
"I want to know about the Mumbai vacation."
Neelam and Mansi looked at each other uncomfortably.
"I will tell it." said Yash.
"I went there, preparing to sweep the heir to the Khuranna fortune off her feet. I knew a little bit about her and I saw pictures of her. I had 2 friends with me as I knew she would have 2 friends with her. The first time I saw her sitting in the restaurant she seemed simple and plain but then she looked back, straight at me and I was captured by those amazing eyes. But she looked away. I had to remind myself I had come there with a specific goal.
I was a little too disappointed when she didn't come to the beach with her friends later. But I made sure that I saw her later. And what I saw took my breath away. Anyone could see she was pretty before but that night she was absolutely stunning. I was torn. I was happy that the lady I was trying to win was not the ugly duckling I thought that she would be but actually a beautiful swan. I was concerned by the fact that I seemed to lose sight of the goal that I had set out for myself. And when I danced with her, I loved every minute of the feel of her in my arms a little too much. I was angry at myself. I was always controlled and yet this girl made me lose myself in her so easily. My internal battle was raging but I made the decision to do as I planned. I wouldn't face my true feelings but all I knew was that I liked the person I saw in her eyes. The person that she saw me to be. Those two days in Mumbai with her was everything that I didn't even know I wanted. And when she agreed to marry me, I was happy and not only because of the business but also because I would have her in my life and even then I couldn't even admit to my own feelings. And then I lost her." his eyes were moist. He wiped at his eyes.
"Please excuse me. I have some work to finish up." He left the table.
Aarti never looked at him as he spoke. Her eyes tearing. Again she felt the sincerity in his voice but she had believed and trusted him before it seems and he broke her heart. She didn't remember but somehow she felt the pain. She felt Mansi squeezing her hand.
"Listen to him, Aaru. He loves you. He has realised his mistake. He wants to make amends. Give him a chance."
"I don't know if I can. I don't know anything anymore. I wish I could remember Manu. I wish I could remember how I felt then and what it means for how I am feeling now."
"Aaru, we are your friends and we love you. We only want you to be happy. And you were happiest when you were with him. You can be again. Take the chance and be happy again. You don't need your memory for that. Make new memories with the man that you love,"
"Do I? Do I love him, Neelam?"
"Who knows you best, Aaru? The two of us. And I know that you love him even if you won't admit it to yourself."
"I have a lot of thinking to do. I still can't trust him. He still scares me. How can I allow myself to be vulnerable like that again?"
"Only you can decide that Aaru. We will go now. We will see you again soon. We are so happy to have you in our lives again." The threesome hugged and kissed each other and the 2 couples left.
She cleared the table and did the dishes. Then she went to her father's study where he was still working.
"I want to take the job at VK & S. My first project has to be a simple one. I don't know what I can still remember. I will start next week. I want my shares back. You can keep yours and the ones that pappa gave you. I only want mine."
He was happy with her decision to work again but not about the shares.
"Aarti, think carefully about the shares. I will give you your shares back but it is not a good decision. It would be better if you take all the shares. If I give your shares back, I will no longer be the majority shareholder of the company, bauji will be. And he will be able to make most of the important decisions. Believe me, you don't want that. If you want Khuranna bauji's legacy to continue, then think carefully about what it is you want."
She was torn.
"Ok, I will think about it. But I will start to work again as I said."
"Good, I'm glad."
"But I want to work here. Not from Mumbai."
"Fine, I will work from here too."
"No, I need time on my own."
"Aarti, you had time on you own for a year. I was without you for a year. That is as much time as I will allow. You are still my wife. I will not live apart from you anymore. We will both work from here or we will both work from Mumbai. You can decide. But there will be no separation anymore. I will give your way on everything but in this I will not budge."
"Yash ..."
"This all I am going to say on the subject. I will make the popcorn and then I am going to watch the "Two Towers. I know it's not your favourite of the trilogy but I thought we would follow the sequence. I will wait for you." he walked out of the office.
He was watching and just as he gave up on her joining him she eventually came. She had showered and had on her pyjamas. She sat down and he put the blanket around her. They watched and ate the popcorn. Their hands touched when they came to the end of the bowl. She didn't jerk her hand away this time. He took her hand in his and held it, like they used to do.
When he took her hand she felt a sense of familiarity, a sense of comfort. She still missed her father sitting next to her. But somehow holding his hand made it better. She was tempted to rest her head on his like she did with her father, but she couldn't do it. Not yet, maybe not ever.
His heart was going wild. Just holding her hand like this, was a huge victory. He didn't know why or how she allowed it tonight. He didn't care. It gave him hope. And he was not letting go. Not of her hand or of her. Ever.
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