Samarpan: Part 1
Super-quick list of things that stood out to me when I read the first part after it was posted long, long ago:
- Payal's fascination with her parents' love story, which is nothing less than an epic dastaan of destiny and love...and Yash holding back from telling her things, not wanting to "dent" Payal's impression of her parents' story. So curious already, Indu! What is this mystery?
- Baby Aarti holding onto 5-year-old Yash's finger, falling asleep while he stays rooted to the spot, by her side. Aaah, love!
- Aayu, friend woes, and tadpoles: Love the conversation that Yash has with his son about friends! Aah, the themes of trust and the importance of communication! I laughed to myself when Aayu brought up the question of the tadpoles mating with the fishes out of their habitats...I also couldn't hold back a laugh when Yash brought up those tadpoles unexpectedly, with a pout and a serious complaint: "Even his tadpoles get to mate out of their habitat...while I don't." Haaye, Yash! 😆 Where do you come up with such lines, Indu? Love them!
- A brief history of relationships: Naanimaasi, Shobha...and Aarti...I can't wait to learn more about the bonds that Naanimaasi, Yash, and Aarti share! There's Yash's soulmate/love on one hand and his "girlfriend" on the other - too cute, that!
- The cake. Oh my gosh, that was a surprise, and a delicious one, too! I really, really enjoyed reading this part, especially in light of what Yash said earlier about Aarti being so silent. All those hints you've been dropping via Yash's perspective are so intriguing. How did these two get to this point, where he licks icing off of her lips and cheeks and she teases him about desserts and other birthday treats? I love so much about that scene in the kitchen and the one beginning the treasure hunt that I could probably center a nice long review around only the cake and thinking cap scenes, but I won't do that just yet. Let me just say this: I LOVE your Yash and Aarti. Adore the dialogues and banter!
- Aarti leaning against the door, arms crossed, smiling, with a mischievous glint in her eyes: Love, love, love you for this reference, Indu! ❤️ One of my favorite lighthearted yet sensual Aarti/Kratika moments. Needless to say, the final Yash-Aarti interaction in this part almost took my breath away. And we also get a little glimpse into Aarti's mind, yay!
A truly fantastic start, my dear! 👏 👏 👏
Hurry and post the next part soon! Well, take your time...but still, I can't wait to read more!
P.S. I just skimmed the first part again...I will be back with more thoughts later on, because there's just too much to love! 😳
*As promised, back with more thoughts and observations!*
His eyes shining with excitement, he turned to Yash, asking very seriously, "Do you think they will mate with the fishes?"...making his father spit out the water he was drinking and his sister to roll her eyes as she extracted the ringing cell phone from her jeans pocket. Yash walked ahead after shaking his head to Aayu, talking into his own phone, telling Aarti they were on their way back.
This very nearly made me laugh aloud! Aayu has a tendency to make me laugh, the little imp! 😆 The kittens, the tadpoles, the fishes...And that album of candid photos of Yash 🤣. I'm chuckling silently to myself now, rereading the bit about Yash spitting out his water out of shock. What a fabulously fun family.
"He says Karan wants to be my friend only because I have...I mean we are...," and as Yash raised a brow, he spluttered meekly, "...rich."
Yash dropped his hands in shock...years flashed by as the past closed in.
And my mouth dropped open when I read this part again. It hit me like a ton of bricks. That was...nothing short of fantastic.
The Cake and the Cap
- I noticed that Yash told naanimaasi to keep the others busy for a while before he went into the kitchen to find his birthday cake(s) 😉. The man is charming and very clever, I must say!
- Aarti senses Yash behind her just as she was about to write his name. I am a bit (maybe more than a bit, haha) of a romantic, so this entire bit with the cake was lovely, as I said before. I love how Aarti begins writing his name, but they complete it together...maybe I'm taking it a bit too far, but it is like she is the one who left an imprint on him long, long ago...and then when their paths converged, they were able to complete their journey together - did she help shape him into the person that he is today as they went on that journey? I suppose we'll find out exactly how that happened!
- The language that Yash and Aarti use! I love this! Smiling to myself even more now! "Cheesiest pick-up line ever...Even for a birthday boy..." "hanky-panky" "just desserts" 😆
"That doesn't mean you romance in public...now go and get ready. It's almost dark."
"It's not fair, Aarti...at least on my birthday I should get to romance my wife anywhere I like."
- Oh goodness! I can imagine Aarti pulling away while Yash responds with a pout...🤣 As for romancing in public or anywhere the birthday boy likes...I was reminded of some other things I've seen where that is seemingly exactly what happens! Such desperation to romance anywhere and everywhere! 😆
- Yash's gifts: Payal's artistic inclinations (like Aarti), Aayu's shaitaani (that album 😆), and Yash's perspective regarding his wife engaging in "some kind of eye conversation" - good stuff, and once again, love the word choice! Just the right dashes of humor. I don't know how you do it, but I love it!
"A cap? Mumma got you a cap?" Even Aayu was flummoxed, as Yash stared at the thing. "She knows you hate wearing caps."
- LOL! And why did I quote this? Simply because I suddenly remembered all the off-screen/BTS footage and pictures I have seen thus far where Gurmeet was wearing...caps. 🤣 This is a random addition, I know, but I had to share it!
"The game is on Mrs Scindia, but beware, now I won't be satisfied only with just desserts. I shall collect my winnings through the night." And then turning her he gave her a hard, hungry kiss before striding off, shouting, "Kids, come to the kitchen." Aarti was left standing with blissful anticipation...She pressed her hands against her heart. It was amazing how even after so many years of marriage he could still make her heart beat this fast and make her feel all wobbly and expectant as she was on their first night. Aarti knew she will never be able to gauge the depth of her love for him till she died. She had not known the sun till he had brought her out from the dark prison she was in...and now he was the reason her sun rose each morning.
- Quoting the entire portion because it is too lovely to be left in pieces. Marveling at Yash's ability to convey his desire in a message sent through a hard, hungry kiss...and his composure is regained almost instantly as he renders Aarti speechless and walks off, teasing her just as she teased him. The tables keep turning with every interaction, and I am so eager to see how their relationship progressed to such a stage!
- The last three sentences: ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ I shall say no more.
Edited by MelodiousDreams - 12 years ago
. I am fascinated by your storytelling technique in this one, and it is indeed very reassuring to know that Aarti is alive (remember my initial thought about Aarti? Phew, thank God for happy-happy endings!) because we can see her now and it is definitely helping increase the curiosity about the past! Will wait patiently for mysteries to clear up - I love mysteries! 😉 Bless your darling, Didi! I am enjoying reading about the tadpoles in plastic bags and the shampooed, towel-dried kittens! 🤣 
Kumkum Bhagya
Tu Dhadkan Main Dil
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
