Yash-Arti FF: Meri adhoori kahaani - Part 4:pg8 - Page 7

Originally posted by: MelodiousDreams

I forgot to mention this before, so I might as well do so here. The banner for this FF is stunning! Absolutely stunning. The image of Aarti with downcast eyes is the one that I like the most, because there is a sort of mysterious, indescribable aura about her along with a solemnity that comes to mind whenever I picture Aarti in this story through Yash's eyes. She is beautiful, pure...yet her eyes hold secrets that only she can reveal if she wants to.

:D I'm so glad you commented on that! I'm pretty proud of it.. hehe.

He wanted, strangely, to embrace her then. But she looked so fragile that she might have crumbled down at his touch. And there was something immaculate about her, something pure and untainted that made him feel filthy, unworthy.

Ah, the beginning of a part full of beautiful descriptions (but that is true for every part!) and we get Yash's first impression of this nameless woman whose face is spotted with bruises but still seems intrinsically pure in spite of her surface wounds. She is fragile and vulnerable, but she is a strong woman with a spark in her eyes, as Yash describes later. A paradox of sorts? Maybe, maybe not...

I guess I didn't want her to be just a damsel in distress. After all, she does rescue him too, in her own quiet way. And then, this is Arti we are talking about :) I wanted to project her as a fighter, despite everything, battle-weary, yes, but a fighter nevertheless.

Irrational rage and a bout of unprecedented gallantry. Oh, that made me smile. She is making him do things that he hadn't done in a very long time, and the beauty of it is that her mere presence is stirring him to life again; it's so neat how the short, fragmented sentences reflect the rapidity of his thoughts - the exhilaration and excitement is more than evident...All for a nameless woman who he felt a sudden urge to shelter and reassure.

I sometimes worry that it may have seemed unrealistic. All that exhilaration. Hmm. Oh well, some filmigiri should be forgivable :P

She had surely made other arrangements, and would be gone soon, and he would be left with a life emptier than ever. Emotionally emptier - which was, surely, the worst kind of emptiness.

I like the foreshadowing here: he's already anticipating a life more empty than the one he was leading just moments before she showed up at his doorstep, and to me that implied that he has been affected by her silent company so much even though it hasn't been very long at all. How is he going to cope when she leaves?

True. A dark foreshadowing. And also, his old cynical self creeping in.

Yash had decided that despite his initial unusual reaction to her presence, there was no danger of him forming a dangerously irrevocable emotional attachment to her.

And more foreshadowing...Dare I say that the emotional attachment began the moment he reassured her that she was going to be okay? Maybe it's my wishful thinking.

I think it might have started then, although he was not conscious of it, and so, tried to justify it in true literary analysis style :)

What he was feeling was genuine and undoubtedly justifiable concern on a humanitarian level, coupled with the intellectual curiosity spurred by an experience he was unfamiliar with.

I found this to be intriguing and kind of funny because it seemed to be an attempt at self-justification on Yash's part, almost dry and clinical in nature. This, in contrast with Aarti's powerful magnetism (that paragraph was lovely, lovely, lovely, by the way!) that draws Yash to her automatically, falls flat just a bit in terms of persuasive arguments.

I love how you manage to capture just what I wanted to portray. It's such a relief to find a like-minded soul :)

By the time she woke up late that night, he had a rough synopsis, and two pages of writing that he did not have a burning desire to delete.

Things to chuckle at here, too! An improvement compared to the first part of the FF, I must say! And he cleaned the apartment! Quite a bout of gallantry...of course, it's only polite!

Lol! Of course!

The last three paragraphs: Love, love, love. Poignant words with sprinkles of humor.

Aarti's silence, the prospect that she is holding something back from him - it's troubling. Tormenting, even, I'd say, based on Yash's reactions to her. And the fact that he - even if he might not say it, he's certainly thinking it - wants to be something more than "a complete stranger to her," because his current status as a stranger physically hurts him when the thought merely crosses his mind, is a powerful indicator of the change that Aarti has brought about in Yash's life and in Yash himself. I felt like he wants so badly to unravel the mysteries that Aarti isn't telling him; maybe somewhere in there, he also wants to end "his story" well, with the pretty girl being swept off her feet and the hero saving the day.

Aww, thank you!! I'm super chuffed you liked it so much!!

Superb part, once again! Love the part title also. That's essentially what happened to Yash in a matter of moments...and possibly what literally happened to Aarti in a matter of moments, too.

Yes, and the title - like the title of all the parts, and the FF title itself, is from the lyrics of a song :) Did you guess? Tera Chehra by Adnan Sami :))

Originally posted by: MelodiousDreams

I had a feeling I'd love this part as soon as I read the title, because both versions of that song (Madno/Saajnaa) are so soulful and soothing. I'm listening to Saajnaa right now, and it's making me feel an odd mixture of happiness and sadness, much like my feelings when I read this particular part.

I absolutely adore Madno/Saajna too! One of my all-time favs. At first I liked Madno more because it was softer and I liked the Kashmiri lyrics - so beautiful to listen to. But now, it's Saajna, because of Mika's voice. But I'm straying away from the topic. I'm glad you're noticing the song titles :))

"Hai dil ko teri aarzoo..." sums up Yash's perspective perfectly based on what we know about him and his growing fondness for Aarti. That longing for something unattainable, or rather, someone within reach but just beyond reach all the same...

Eggjactly!! :D Donon judke juda...

Aarti came into his life and became a part of his life so quickly that all the little changes blended into a part of his routine and settled permanently. It's sweet how thinking up ways to make Aarti smile are as much a part of Yash's routine as any of the other things they do. He really wants to see her happy, and it all but killed me every time his reaction to her smiles, past or present, is mentioned. That gradual thawing of his heart, aww. Such beauty in the descriptions of Aarti's eyes and the sound of her voice! The magic, the allure of her simplicity and purity...Yash appears to be entirely enchanted by now, and deeply.

I've always thought of little moments, little gestures, and little joys being the more potent of life's gifts :)

The poster. Witnessing things from Yash's point of view is both heartwarming and heartbreaking. I could literally feel my own heart swell and then shatter as I read his reactions to seeing the poster.

It was a broad, exultant, unapologetically uninhibited smile that caused her nose to scrunch up, crinkled her eyes and painted them with a naughty gleam. Who could have imagined that the same person could have been reduced to the person he knew to be imprisoned by her nightmares?

He stood there for a long time and felt himself smile too. And in that sigh of a smile, he felt the weight over his heart lighten somewhat.

Lovely and bittersweet, too. The descriptive imagery certainly heightened the impact because I could see that smiling Aarti in front of me, too...The effect that the picture has on Yash is wonderful, as if he's physically and emotionally letting go of a burden by responding to Aarti's smile with one of his own. And then the realization comes crashing down around him...Devastating.

That you should be able feel what he feels, makes me so happy. It makes this whole writing thing, so much more gratifying! Thank you for conveying your impressions in such a detailed manner!

He had gotten used to the idea of there being nobody in the world but him and her and their many cups of tea. But there was somebody else too. Somebody who knew what a smiling Arti had looked like, could look like. Somebody she had smiled for. He could not fight the thought that soon there would be nobody in his world but him.

The sweet, oversimplified little universe revolving around him and Aarti that Yash constructed in his mind reminds me a little bit of his earlier confession about having a tendency to resolve his stories with cliches and happy endings. How I wish things could be that simple, for his sake and hers.

I'm glad you made the connection! That pretty much sums it up :))

I loved Yash's frantic search for Aarti; he always looks for her, but today is different. His fear of losing her to an unknown someone comes across so clearly that it broke my heart when he takes note of her appearance and instantly knows that she had been crying earlier. Every tiny thing that he knows about her means something to him, even though he doesn't know everything about her yet.

He had clearly been watching her very closely, out of "intellectual curiosity" and all :P

Her pain was more tangible to him then, than it had ever been. It was more than a character trait now, it was something that he felt, that made his eyes sting.

He had thought that he would finally see her smile. Even if it would not be for him, it would be something, something to remember fondly. But her eyes had widened to wet red pools, and she began to hyperventilate, as though she was drowning, engulfed in lethal depths of terror. He rushed to her, and abandoning all thoughts and second thoughts, enfolded her in his arms, holding her as tightly as he could, feeling as though his life depended on it, that moment. Slowly, her breaths steadied in pace. She was still shaking though, in arrhythmic uncontrollable sobs.

It was so, SO painful to read those parts above...

Usually, I enjoy writing angsty stuff, but even I found this part quite sad.

All this time, presumably, Yash had associated the sad smiles and soft silences with Aarti's personality. Now that he knows otherwise and has seen a flicker of how she used to be, her pain must be overwhelming for him. And it affects him physically, just like her silences and smiles do. He mentions the poster in hopes of cheering her up, and I found it noteworthy that he is trying to prepare himself for Aarti's inevitable departure and her return back to someone who had made her happy once. Even more important is the fact that Yash wants to see her smile like that again so that he can let her go and be left with a memory of that smile to live with...But that doesn't happen. Yash's instinctive rush to Aarti's side and his subsequent action of gathering her in his arms said so much about his feelings for her and his dependence on her that it was both painful and beautiful. He supports her without thinking, and he wants to take all her pain away, but he also needs her and desperately wants her to be happy because I don't think he'd be able to live in peace if she's in pain.

You hit the nail right on the head, again. He needs her, just as much as she needs him, because they're both damaged and disillusioned in their own ways.

"In fact, forever would be rather nice," he added, in a light-hearted tone, before he could stop himself.

She let out a fraction of a chuckle. But his smile had faded away. His eyes were penetrating hers, in silent, desperate longing, and she realised just how much it scared her that she felt she could not look away, that she felt like staying forever too.

Aaah, my heart shattered into a million pieces from this part until the end...Just a hint of Aarti's perspective here, followed by a sad story of a lifetime of rejections and abuse...But here is a man who didn't think twice before giving her shelter and making her a part of his life...She can't pull away from him without difficulty...But why must she? Why is she afraid?

I think she cannot draw strength from him, or any other person. She is at the stage of her life, when she needs to somehow be able to define herself, find that strength within herself and affirm it. As wonderful as he is, this one thing, he can only help to a certain extent. The rest, she will have to do alone. Only then will she be truly freed from the darkness of her past which she has internalised.

*sigh* I think I'm just going to be repeating myself after writing comments for every single part, but this is seriously amazing writing. Even though my heart swelled and then broke into a million pieces...Love this story so much!

Au contraire, I'm the one repeating myself because I really don't know how I could possibly convey how appreciative I am of your comments, and how happy they have made me! :D 'Thank you' seems so inadequate!

Originally posted by: MelodiousDreams

@Anu: Oh, I LOVED reading through your multi-colored responses to my detail-picking! I wasn't sure I was picking up on the subtleties or your intentions behind the written words, so I had apprehensions at first, but it was impossible for me not to write about the parts that stood out to me. And it was far more difficult to not quote every line, LOL. Thank you so much for your patience! I love you, too!

Aah, I didn't recognize the "phir zameen hil jaaye" quote instantly, but I DID have the melody of Tera Chehra in the back of my mind when I read the title again later...It seemed to fit perfectly, and makes sense why - because that is the song! Another lovely song that I have come to associate with Yash-Aarti, for reasons entirely unconnected to this story, although it is even more mesmerizing to think of that song in relation to this FF, too! It's Yash and Aarti, for crying out loud. The magical magnetism, the notion of two wounded souls finding each other and healing each other in their own ways - it's all so beautiful.

Thank you. It's so lovely to read your comments.. You sure are very generous with your compliments! I hope I can continue to live up to your expectations. Ah, the pressure! 😉

PS - I love music, especially Hindi film music and certain non-film songs...I was so happy to see some lyrics that I recognized!

😃 For those that you might have not recognised then, the FF title is from Agneepath's "Saiyyan," the title to the first part is from an old Shammi Kapoor song, "Deewana hua badal," and the title from the fourth part is from "Khamaj" - a song by Pakistani band, Fuzon.

@Kadeen: I've saved both your story and Anu's already! I keep going back and reading them...

Thank you so much for appreciating my comments! I've often thought about writing stories for Yash-Aarti (and a few other couples), but I'm apprehensive about starting and then leaving things hanging due to lack of time. I'm not the most innovative with creative ideas, either.

Please do write!! We will be patient when it comes to updates and all.. Please, please, please! 😃

Originally posted by: Zetter

thank you very much for the wonderful update Dear 👏

Aww Yash is in so much pain but she is Mia/Aarti 😔

can't wait for more 😉