AarYa Journal

6th July'12

Love means that which lasts forever. It doesn't diminish. It always grows and grows and grows and grows.Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.

Yes! Im in love. Truly , deeply , madly in love with the father of my kids. Today I have realized the true worthiness of Yash ji , I cant pass a single second without him.If Prateek bhaiya , Vidhi bhabhi & Maa wouldn't have forced me to confess that to myself , then too I would have made this self realization.

But what shall I name the feeling I perceived for Prashnath? Sometimes when we look back on a situation , we realize it wasn't all we thought it was. A debonair man walked into my lonely life & I thought I've fallen in love. Did I? Maybe it was only a childish infatuation , or maybe just a brief moment of vanity. I think I had no other option. A man entered my solitary , deserted life , made me smile , made me laugh & I told myself , "Im in love." . I never loved Prashant. That was merely an infatuation . I kept on explaining myself that i love him for the sake of being loved. I hid my infatuation under the quilt of pure devotion. I let the mills & boons and movies affect me.

Now when I see Yash Ji, something within me says that this is how love should be! I don't know how to define love . But if what I feel for Yash Ji right now is love , then I confess I never felt so for Prashant or anyone else in my life. I feel better , I feel complete. This beautiful feeling has conquered me completely and now I feel completely surrendered. This is simply the unmatchable & best experience one can have.

The agony I suffered today when I was unable to trace him made me realize what futile life I was living without him. Meeting Yash Ji was my fate , becoming his wife my destiny but falling in love was beyond my control. He looks at me and my heart starts skipping beats, my face starts to glow, and my eyes start to twinkle. Imagine what he would do to me if he'd smile. Even this one-sided love is giving me that happiness that I can't express in insignificant words. My elation no bounds , Im ready to wait for my Yash ji , till eternity.