Choices....New part: 10' Promise' - Page 6

Created

Last reply

Replies

101

Views

8.9k

Users

22

Frequent Posters

*Natasha* thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#51
OMG Great ff.
Please continue soon.
Anjali-K thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#52
Great FF 👏
Next time please make it a bit longer.😳
Great Part😊
Please continue soon. 😳

ppiyu thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#53

Oh dear Sophiya, this one is the sweet part.....😃

U know for ur Sanyogita..... I can imagine neither Mugdha nor Sheetal. She is just diff.... but definitely I feel like i m reading a story of princess Sanyogita😳. And PRC ... I can only imagine RT..... But with ur latest part..... PRC which i m imaginig is different (off course not Anas).

Anyways..... Vaishali - Pundir.... nice pair i can see.😛 And that moustache joke..... Pundir scaring girls with it was too good.😆

Ur Viashali and Sanyo seems so close friends i mean unlike in the soap where the mistress-maid attitude between them is always there. Hmmm...and now thru ur story we will know vaishali better.

The best part of your story is, I go very senti n emotional... while reading all those feeelings and emotions u pen down for pri sanyo. Very good skills ..... keep it up.👏 and trailer was nice.... thanks for that😃 And grammatical errors??😕 While reading, u think anyone ll pay attention there?

bhuvana3 thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#54
awesome sepota.. just fantastic 👏 I had stopped coming to PRC forum ever since 💔 (read leap).. 3 of my friends pmed me asking if I read "choices"... 😳 a big thankoooo to all of them.. Otherwise I would have missed the beautiful experiance of reading this !! 👏
I could feel visualise imagine every line every dialogue.. u describe the emotions soo very beautifully that I can actually feel the pain of Sanyo n Prithvi 😭
I loved the unique style of video trailers.. quite original I must say 👏
Now whn are you updating the next part ? 😳 I cant wait looonnggg 😭 please please please have mercy on us n update soon..
SophiTots thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#55
oh wow... u guys thanx so much for all ur kind words.. i had no internet all last week and even though the parts were ready , i couldnt put them up.

ashah03, Power20(can i know ur real name plz, its wierd to keep saying power20),natasha, angel94.. thanx a lot .. comments keep me going..

@ ppiyu...im soooo happy u updated on ur script.. i thought u had given up on it.. will leave a comment there too.. but just wanted to say, u almost make me feel like im ripping of ur wonderful story.
my sanyogita is a mixture of mughda and sheetal. i havent really followed the actual dictates of history, lets just say, im trying to make my characters more life like, not black or white like they portray in the serials.. but im really glad u like it nonetheless..

@bhuvana wow.. give my thanx to ur friends to.. i had no idea some one would actually recommend my stuff.. thanx to you and them..


next part up in a few min..
SophiTots thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#56
A/N: this part will seem short but thats becoze its just meant to fill in the gaps btween the last and next parts.
the inner monologues may seem a bit to unreal for pl in those days, but i really do belive that even then, ppl were ppl and they may have thought in proper grammar, but they still thought all type of stuff.. difference being, we now actually voice all the wierd things we may b thinking, bac then ppl had manner to keep their mouths shut.. 😆 😉
here we go..



LOST(part6)

As she watched the yatra from the shadows of the trees, she decided her plan of action.
She had been following the yatra for some days now, observing the habits and daily routine of her target.
She had been promised a great reward, aside from the sum she had already been paid.

The princess of kanauj would not be returning home.. at least not alive…

#   ; #   ; #


Sanyogita wandered around the tents. Vaishali had been gone for a good two hrs and even though it was unusual for her to b away for so long without letting her know, Sanyogita hadn't really worried. But she had learned to listen to her instincts over the years and now, her sixth sense told her something was just not rite..


As she turned around, she caught sight of a girl being dragged away by two ppl in the distance. The girl seemed familiar. Sanyogita's eyes widened as she recognized her friend's clothes.
It was vaishali. She was being kidnapped! Without thinking, without pausing, Sanyogita started running after vaishali, calling out to her.


#   ; #   ; #


Prithvi heard her yelling before he saw her running. Arjun ,Pundir and Chand were on the lookout for ghori's men and he had just stopped by his tent to get some things.

He turned in direction of her voice and realized she was headed straight into the jungle.


Prithvi frowned. He had important things to do. He couldn't get distracted. This girl was crazy! She was probably off doing even as some crazy, irrational thing. He couldn't go after her. He really shouldn't. even as those thoughts were running thru his mind, his feet had already started moving and before he knew it, he was chasing after crazy girl.


#   ; #   ; #



Sanyogita kept calling out to Vaishali. The men seemed to have disappeared with her. As Sanyogita frantically searched ,a little voice in her head that sounded eerily like Vaishali's kept telling her to go back. But she couldn't abandon vaishali. So she kept going.



As her clothes got snagged in the branches, she thought she heard some one or something behind her. She quickly whipped around only to loose her footing on some loose gravel and with a faint scream of surprise, she rolled down the side of the hillock she had been on.


She finally came to a stop at the bottom of the slope, flat on her back, a groan escaped her .
The little voice in her head came back, with a vengeance.



"just great Sanyogita, first u run headlong into the jungle, then u loose sight of ur friend and her kidnappers, never mind that u have no weapon with which u could have rescued vaishali., u had to top that by tumbling down a hill, no doubt breaking a few bones in the process"


She sighed. Voice-vaishali was right. She was too impulsive and it got her in trouble.



She should get up. She really should. But her body was aching and creaking. She could swear she almost heard a thud. Then there was a snap and a thud again. Sanyogita frowned.


A face loomed into her line of vision.
Dark, long haired, mustache, serious ,slightly disapproving expression….oh no! no! no! not him!


Her eyes closed involuntarily, hoping he would b gone, when she opened them again.

No such luck. "even better Sanyogita, ur humiliation witnessed by Mr Know-It-all"



Prithvi looked at her lying straight on her back. She seemed to be having a conversation with herself.



He had seen her fall, having followed her at a distance. Too far away to stop her descent, he had rapidly chased after her only to find her like this. Not wanting to spook her any more then was necessary, he cautiously asked, what he thought was an innocent and neutral question.


P: what are u doing?


Sanyogita stared up at him. What did HE think she was doing?! The tandav!?
She rolled her eyes and answered in what was her most nonchalant tone


S: contemplating my place in this universe


P: what?!


S: what does it look like im doing ,to you?




Prithvi wanted to strangle her. No wait. Too painless.
Maybe he should just leave her here. He took a deep calming breath.

He sighed inwardly, knowing he would never do that.
Instead he did the only thing he could under the circumstances.
Gave her his hand to help stand up



As she ungraciously accepted his help, he suppressed the smirk that crossed his lips on her hearing her "ooh" ouch".. aahhh"


Sanyogita got up as gracefully as she could muster and after making a big show of dusting her clothes, turned around and started walking away.


She heard him move behind her and turned around sharply.



S: why are u following me?


Prithvi glared at her.


P: you are going in the wrong direction. The way out is in the opposite direction.



S: I'm not looking for a way out.. yet.. I'm looking for my friend..


He looked at her like she had grown another nose..


Sanyogita felt her anger rising.
Usually she got along just fine ,but this guy was bringing out the worst in her.


They spent a good half hour arguing over the whole situation.
Prithvi insisting they go back, Sanyogita refusing to go without vaishali.

It was getting darker and neither of them noticed the shadows disappearing.


Prithvi felt the change in the atmosphere seconds before he saw anything.


His instincts drove him to draw his sword up and around just in time to deflect the blade aiming for her neck.


Sanyogita was so surprised she didn't even have the time to gasp as he pushed her behind him and shielded her with his body.



There were three ppl in front of them now. Sanyogita gasped in shock as she realized this was the woman she had mistaken for vaishali. This had been a trap.


As the three bandits circled them Sanyogita wished she had her bow and arrows or even a dagger., anything to protect herself with.


But she soon realized that the man in front of her, the one protecting her, was more then capable of dealing with the bandits.


As he deftly countered their attacks, the woman made every possible effort to get close to Sanyogita. She almost succeeded but was stopped by him, in the process, getting a deep gash across his arm.


Prithvi felt a fury, the likes of which he rarely did.
A few seconds more and she would have gotten hurt or even killed.



The very idea was strangely terrifying to Prithvi and as he deftly countered the bandit, he didn't pause for a second, not even noticing the blood trickling down his arm.


Sanyogita however did. He was bleeding.. and it was all her fault!


He turned towards her after killing the woman. Sanyogita got a feeling of dj vu. She had been here before.. the place, the situation, something was just so familiar.



Prithvi turned to see her watching him with a scared and confused expression on her beautiful face.

Something seemed similar. Like he had been here before.



As they both stood still, looking into each other's eyes, Sanyogita's heart beat picked up.. it was ..oh god!..wat was this, why was she feeling like this ! Her face grew paler, her eyes widened.



He noticed her expression rapidly change to panic. Not knowing what caused it, but as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him to comfort her, he smiled to try and put her at ease.


P: it's ok now..



Sanyogita's mind finally regrasped the fact that he was hurt.


She shook her head slightly to clear whatever wispy remnants of a long forgotten incident were plaguing her and moving forward she touched his arm.


At her touch Prithvi started and jerked his arm away, purely out of surprise and instinct.



Sanyogita's eyes narrowed. She was just trying to help. His sudden movement made her scowl and with a ferocity she rarely displayed, she snapped at him.



S: I was just looking at it. Don't worry. I don't bite.



Prithvi was still wondering about the strange tingle all the way up his arm at her touch was bought crashing down to reality at her tone.
Matching her scowl with his own, he snapped back at her.


P: considering I got this thanks to your little walk in the park, don't u think u should b a little more contrite, not to mention apologetic if not grateful?



Sanyogita ,who was already regretting her tone, bristled at his words. Something about this guy just made her forget control.



S: I didn't ask u to come after me, but u have this irritating knack of being a MR know it all. U simply must put in ur two cents of wisdom whether or not anyone wants them.
I was going to thank u, but now I believe I wont. I was also going to apologize, but u can forget about that too..



She was nearly yelling by the time she spoke the last words.

Neither of them, however noticed that during the whole thing, somehow, her handkerchief had found its way to his arm and was now snugly wrapped around the cut , with her hand resting just above it.

Also , they could b forgiven for not noticing how close they stood to each other, so much so that Prithvi could see the scar on her rite wrist as her finger poked him in the chest.



As soon as they did realize this however, they practically jumped apart.


Prithvi marveled at the tingling which had returned to his arm.

Sanyogita wondered at the sudden breathlessness she was experiencing.



In an effort to break the uncomfortable silence, and always the peacemaker, Prithvi decided to take the first step.


P: what's your name?


Sanyogita was quite disturbed by the sudden emotions running through her, glared up at the man she held responsible for her lack of composure.


S: none of ur business.


Prithvi counted to five and took a deep calming breath.


P: that's an unusual name. but I guess for someone like you., its perfect, miss none of ur business.


Sanyogita really couldn't think of anything to say, just scowled a bit more and for effect, she turned away with a flounce and walked away with a humph!


Prithvi glared at her retreating back, partly glad at finally having gotten the last word and partly guilty because he had been rude.

No matter how much of a brat she was, he shouldn't match her childish attitude with his own. Now she was sauntering off into the wild, obviously very mad at him.


At least ,he noticed amusedly, she was headed in the right direction.


With a shake of his head, he followed her ,staying close behind.



P: I'm Karan.


Sanyogita kept walking. Realizing the olive branch he was offering, she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.


S: I'm Nandini....


Whew!!. Hope it wasn't too boring or clichd..
Ps: anyone recognize the scar? Huh? Bolo bolo! Lolz.

minnie2308 thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#57

Yes Sephora, I recognise the scar........... it landed on Sanyo's wrist when she cut her hand while battling with her *Shivji*....... Happened when she had gone to save her from BD's goons 😊 ......hope that was the scar 😕 and its history - mistery 😛

What an amazing part....... Though Sanyo was behaving a lil out of character as per your script, I feel....... But I'll blame it on proximity to Prithvi.
And what a nice laughter dose added 😆 .........
I adored their arguments and Sanyo's self talk is something I actually missed in the serial. Then we could have associated her weird rude behaviour, to her turmoil within.

Boring ??? Cliched?? 😲 Are you sure you are talking about your script😕..........It was entertaining👏

Edited by minnie2308 - 17 years ago
SophiTots thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#58
minnie... u are rite on both accounts! the scar and sanyo's behavior coz having this stranger, who seems to have so much effect on her, is disturbing and throwing poor sanyo off balance! 👏

thanx for liking it..
Edited by sephora1 - 17 years ago
ashah03 thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#59
hey sephora... it was an incredible part... loved the way they both got back to their real selves.. plsssssssssss continue...
asha
_A_d_i_t_i_ thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#60
ooh i really cant wait. you just keep me glued. and why do you think that these parts are boring? you are one of the best authors i have ever come across. seriously.
and how well you describe their emotions. i can feel everything you pen down. i am marvelled!! 👏

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".