OS: Snake in the Grass - Page 3

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priyatnl thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#21
I can see how Shyam may have met Anjali now.
A small suggestion. If possible you can include an encounter between Shyam and Anjali just before she gets married. So she remmbers him like a nice person. Later he goes away and when she encounters him at temple she recollects the meeting and he pretends to care for her as she has wealth now.
SPMom thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#22
Wow Indu, even Sham is very interesting in your narration. Really looking forward for the story of Anjali!!
devishree thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#23
oh god
its freaking out indu
seriously he is rightly called snake
well written dear
Annie12 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#24
great start...!!!! cant wait to see the snake re entry in arnav khushi's life
psychofool thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#25
omg...such acreepwa...n emotional murderers people like them exists...*shudders* *goosebumps* *panic*...waiting for more
Aruni. thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#26
I don't usually watch anything horror, underworld, conspiracy, psycho-thriller - or any creepy ones for that matter - and you reminded my why. Creepy people have a very twisted way of thinking, its so hard to relate to them... in the end the conflicts in my mind doesn't let me sleep.

You seem to have grasped the concept well - even though Shyam is not a psychopath, his mind is not normal - he knows how feelings and family bonds works, but as an outsider - like Sylar in the TV series "Heroes" if you have seen - who looks at people as if they are some clockwork machinery to be figured out. And Shyam uses his knowledge about feelings for his manipulations very well. For such a person, love is an alien feeling; they are not capable of a truly give-take relationship that love brings. So his love for Khushi was not love - as long as she behave in line with his objectives, he cares for her, but the moment Khushi became his biggest obstacle - he was ready to kill her.

With the amazing closure you gave Shyamu in PIPC, i love this OS even more - how sick he was before, how healed he is now, when he has realized his deep longing to be with Anjali - even though he is too late for that. He's not a creep anymore - he gave up trying to ruin her life - and that knowledge gives me a nice feeling.

Good job! 👏
ForLoveofBarun thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#27

Originally posted by: aruni50218

I don't usually watch anything horror, underworld, conspiracy, psycho-thriller - or any creepy ones for that matter - and you reminded my why. Creepy people have a very twisted way of thinking, its so hard to relate to them... in the end the conflicts in my mind doesn't let me sleep.


You seem to have grasped the concept well - even though Shyam is not a psychopath, his mind is not normal - he knows how feelings and family bonds works, but as an outsider - like Sylar in the TV series "Heroes" if you have seen - who looks at people as if they are some clockwork machinery to be figured out. And Shyam uses his knowledge about feelings for his manipulations very well. For such a person, love is an alien feeling; they are not capable of a truly give-take relationship that love brings. So his love for Khushi was not love - as long as she behave in line with his objectives, he cares for her, but the moment Khushi became his biggest obstacle - he was ready to kill her.

With the amazing closure you gave Shyamu in PIPC, i love this OS even more - how sick he was before, how healed he is now, when he has realized his deep longing to be with Anjali - even though he is too late for that. He's not a creep anymore - he gave up trying to ruin her life - and that knowledge gives me a nice feeling.

Good job! 👏


Aruni... You got exactly what I attempted to do with Shyam to a 'T' thank you for that. One amazing reader you are. I wrote this OS to end it the way I did in PIPC indeed. As for Heroes, yeah I watches season 1 and 2 fully. Then, well life took over and I could make time for very little TV time, which I used first to watch Barun's BHPH and then IPKKND. Need to go back and catch the episodes I missed on Netflix.

Thank you Aruni for reading again and commenting. You made my day.
chavvi16 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#28
guess some people can never change
but what to do right
so he is still waiting to strike huh interesting
kdsubs thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#29
I think you just managed to make Shyam even more evil - a snake in the grass indeed. Loved how you explained his while character through his own recollections. Well done Indu.
yoga123 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#30
Amazing part...Shyam's perspective is brilliantly written...

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