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"It's ok if my man has sex with someone else"
For most girls around the world, love is about rainbows and butterflies and knights in shining armour. Not for Kangana Ranaut. For her, it's about reality, acceptance and going beyond the physical. No Prince Charming here. In fact, Kangana urges women to step out of their la-la land and see love for what it is, as she believes a flawed love story is far more interesting than a fairy tale like Cinderella. Quite the motor-mouth, this firebrand actress gets candid about everything from mistaking lust for love, one-night stands, break-ups and more. So distinct from her candyfloss peers, Kangana's trek from the hills of Himachal Pradesh to the dusty alleys of showbiz have helped her sieve fantasy from reality...
Q. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, I believe it's usually lust at first sight. It's the law of attraction. Yes, you can grow to love the person eventually. But at first sight, you are simply basing your judgment on looks and a first impression. So it can't be love.
Q. What does love mean to you?
Love means an intuitive understanding between two people. You can have chemistry with more than one person. Chemistry is not love. When you're young, say 16 or 17, you tend to strike chemistry with almost every good looking guy, anyone who has a six-pack. But when you're a bit older, like I am, your priorities change and you begin to look beyond looks.
Q. So what attracts you to a guy at this point?
Honesty. Also, if I share a deep connect with him, I am a goner.
Q. Over the years, what is the most important lesson you've learnt about love?
Sometimes we are cautious and tend to compare our current relationship with our past ones because of a bad experience or because we are scarred by the memories. Don't judge the person you're with because of your past experiences. Be cautious if the scars surface and when your past begins to affect your present.
Q. Is there a strategy to find the right guy?
If you're looking for a one-night stand or a fling, then there's no strategy. But if you're looking for love, a long-term relationship, then the strategy would be to go for who you think is your best match, in every way. Sometimes it can go wrong but most of the times it doesn't, as you evaluate his nature, your compatibility with him, everything.
Q. What is your take on one-night stands?
Well, they don't work for me. Considering I am a successful woman, I have to be sad and stupid to go for a one-night stand when the men out there are offering me so much more. At this age and stage, one-night stands aren't my thing. Actually, even when I get old and have only a few options, one-night stands won't be my thing. Because as a woman, I can give a lot more than just my body to a man. I am sure even when I don't have a great body to offer, I'll have so much more to give.
Q. Is there any relationship in your past that you regret?
(Laughs) You regret all the relationships in your past. They are your exes for a reason. But I don't regret my last relationship with Nicholas (Lafferty, a UK-based doctor). It may not have worked out between us but we are still friends. We are close and share a great bond.
Q. Do you believe love can be like a fairy tale?
No, it can't. I feel parents should stop giving their daughters dolls and telling them Cinderella stories because reality is different. Reality can be beautiful, if we live in it. But people often overlook reality. Many times, women don't see their partners for what they are and what they offer. That's why so many relationships don't work. All women want is a fairy tale, which is so tiring. And for me, it's boring. If I had this perfect man in my life, like a prince, I would be bored to death.
Q. So you'd rather that a man not take care of you?
Yes. Why should a man take care of me? I am capable of taking care of myself. Parents should prepare their daughters for more challenging things in life. And not for a knight in shining armour who rarely exists. Why prepare your daughter for a love story? You know somewhere, films spoil us too. They don't allow us to live our reality.
Q. You're often referred to as a sex symbol. Your Take.
It's so depressing to be called a sex-symbol. There is so much more to me. It's high time people stop looking at women that way. It can be one aspect of our personality but you shouldn't just term us that. Yes, I want to be attractive but I don't just want to be called an item girl or a sex-symbol.
Q. Are men more inclined to cheat as opposed to women who are more emotional?
Yes and it's kind of scientifically proven too, right? The way the two brains function. That's why the prostitution business is so huge. Women hardly pick up men, no? There are male strip clubs too but that's just barely two per cent as compared to the 98 per cent of women strip clubs all over the world.
Q. Would you take back your partner if he cheated on you?
Yes, why not? I don't give physical relationships that much importance. I'll be okay if my man has sex with someone else. It won't make me insecure. But yes, if he's in love with another woman, I will have to let him go.
Q. How do you deal with a break-up?
Now this might sound weird but I love break-ups. I get to eat anything I want, chocolates and cakes. I get to party and then this whole drama of listening to sad songs and ghazals follows. Deleting pictures and two-three disastrous random dates later, you're back to normal. So what if a relationship didn't work out? It's not the end of life. People should move on as soon as they can. Life's too short to mope over a broken heart.
Q. Do you think you can be friends with an ex?
Yes, you can. Why let go of the friendship just because the relationship didn't work out?
Q. Are you planning to settle down soon?
(Smiles) Why do you think I am not settled? I've bought my dream house recently. I've bought my parents a home. I am doing so well for myself. I have never been more settled. Is finding a man for myself the only thing that makes my life settled? It's like a woman is supposed to find the right boy, get married and only then her life starts. I don't think like that. I am settled.
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