"Kids today I am gonna tell you an awesome story...its epic as you kids would say... you can even call it a saga... I would say it's an...?
"Dad would you get on with it already..."
"Shreya, you are just like your Mom. Strong headed, proud..."
"Dad! Please Just move on"
"A little scary too...as I was saying, it all really started when I found out your Aunt Sharon and Uncle Swayam had decided to get married , I started to ponder on my life in a mature way."
~
"What is wrong with me?"
I said in my mind as I gulped the last of that bitter-sweet beer which seared down my throat adding to my agony.
It sickened me to the stomach to watch two of my best friends cuddling each other in their tiny little corner so in love...and oh my god why are they staring at me like that...it's like they can read my minds...oh okay stop showing off already, I am sure you guys are in love already.
"Rey dude, are you okay?"
"Oh yeah I am Awesome. Why"
"Because you have been talking out loud for some time now."
He is so joking.
"What did I say?"
"something about bitter-sweet beer searing down your throat, watching your best friends cuddle and your digestive reaction to that and also that I am joking."
Okay he isn't joking, I am so screwed, Sharon looks like she is going to erupt, then again when isn't she?
Haha. I made me laugh. Why does Swayam look like he saw a ghost. Oh , Sharon is mad. I better run.
"Dude, stop talking out loud and run away."
"You are full of good ideas Swayam, I wonder why you chose Sharon..."
I sprinted backwards as Swayam held back the loose tigress ready to pounce on my drunken self.
"Dude stop narrating and save yourself, and free advice, don't drink again."
And I ran.
~
And you know what kids?
I didn't drink again, for another 8 months that is.
~
As I was running away I bumped into an extremely beautiful lady.
Perfect in every way and easy on the eyes.
"Are you okay?"
"I very pretty, you good, nice, beer, tigress, puke."
"I think you're drunk "
she said as she giggled. That giggle turned my stomach over causing butterflies to fly everywhere.
"Butterflies?"
"What?"
"You said something about butterflies?"
"Damn...I really should stop drinking."
"Maybe you should...but in the morning when you wake up with a hammering head ache and a jacked up memory, call me up."
And with that she held out my hand and scribbled some digits on them.
I started thinking about how bright she actually was to give a drunken guy her number in the middle of the night. Or do I have namuna written on my forehead
She giggled again.
"Are you aware that you narrate when you are drunk?"
"Well yeah, this habit of mine had recently come into light."
"Okay then, call me."
"I watched her fade away into the distance as I wondered whether that was all merely a mirage."
~
"And that's how I met your..."
"Okay dad that was a great story and all but I really have to..."
"Aunt Priya."
"WHAT!"
"Kids we aren't even half way through yet."
"So you mean you have been telling us the story of how you met your best friend so far?"
"Yes but she is a plays a pivotal role in how I met your mother."
"So dude, you mean you had a thing for Aunt Priya..."
"We had a major thing; I was totally infatuated by her...we dated for 8 months Rohan. Then I didn't know that the only reason my stomach flipped over was because the beer had its side effects."
"So it was after Aunt Priya that you met mom."
"Yes Rohan you are just like me you know, intelligent, attentive..."
"Dude, tell him to hurry up."
"Easily scared by your sister...so as I was saying...it was after that night that I called her up and we started going out. It was eight months later when we mutually had broken up. But of course I had taken it well and decided to move on."
~
"I can't move on Sharon."
Poor Sharon had been handling me since I had gotten drunk at the bar approximately 1.3 hours ago.
"Yes, it can't worse than this for poor Sharon...You puked on my shoe asshole."
"Yes and you slapped me with your purse."
"No idiot, you thought that there was a fly on your forehead so you used my vintage purse to hit yourself on the head."
I merely nodded as I recalled that unfortunate event. I was pretty damn sure that fly was still alive.
"She said that we were too different...so I said I can change but then she said something about building our own paths and I was like I am a friggin architect! Don't tell me what to build!"
"Yes Rey I know, you told me this 80 times."
"Sharon it has only been 56 times and you know it."
"Dude shut up before I shut you up...and you know I mean it."
"Yes I do. What's wrong with Swayam? "
"That's it you son of a..."
"Oh my god... Relax lady..."
"And that was the last words I heard before I passed out. All I could actually remember was that distinct and melodious voice which saved me from the wrath of your Aunt Sharon."
~
"And that is how I first heard your mother's voice mother."
"So are we done?"
"Almost Shreya...what's the rush?"
"Oh god."
"So I don't exactly remember this part of the conversation since I was like unconscious but your mom and Aunt Sharon had filled me in a few years ago. So apparently, this is how it went."
~
"Thanks for helping me lug this idiot all the way home."
"No problem but he is a little on the heavy side...he has way too much muscles."
"Oh he over compensates for his lack of intelligence and manners with meaningless brawn."
"You guys have quite the relationship."
"Oh he is just my best friend unfortunately, boy I need to get out of the house more."
"Only friend? Great!"
"What?"
"Nothing...so tell me more about this idiot."
"He is a dork...he is a 29 year old adult and has watched all the harry potter movies and read all the books like 3 times."
"That's ridiculous."
"Right?"
~
"Kids your mother had watched each Harry potter movie more than 6 times each...spoiler alert Dumbledore dies."
~
"Rey has an obsession with old stuff."
"So stupid."
"I know."
~
"Kids remember that 9 hour drive we took to see that ancient castle in Coimbatore. Did you think it was my idea?"
~
"He drives extremely slowly and always forces us to fasten our seatbelts."
"Oh my god...I would so make up a horrible nickname for him to make sure he would never drive slowly again in his life."
~
"It was mr tutle macslow pants."
~
"And the worst part is he says whatever he thinks in his head when he gets drunk."
"Argh...that is so annoying."
"It is."
~
"Kids, your mother was drunk when she told me that she wanted me to ask her to marry me."
~
The next morning I woke up with my heart feeling lighter than ever. My head felt like someone drilled a hole right through my brain but I was smiling like an idiot.
It was something about that voice.
Her voice was magical.
He didn't see her face.
All I could think of was the way her voice curled around your ear and filled you with tranquillity.
I ran my hand through my head when I looked at my hand.
It had a number on it.
Someone's number.
I had no idea why but I wanted more than anything for it to be hers.
There was only one way to find out.
I pulled out my cell phone as I glanced at my hand.
"Rey, you must be the biggest idiot in the world to be doing this."
I said to myself as I heard the ring of my phone.
"Hello."
I took in the bliss of the moment as I shut my eyes tight and felt her voice curb me out of reality.
"Hello."
I replied after what seemed like an eternity.
To my pleasant surprise she hadn't called me an ass and hung up the phone.
"Is this the idiot from last night?"
I laid back into my chair and smiled.
"That depends...is that what Sharon said?"
She giggled and it set my heart beating like a drum.
I never knew your heart could do things like that.
Last time I felt this way I passed out halfway through the marathon raising awareness for fitness.
I never realized the irony of that till then strangely enough.
"Then yes, that's me."
"That's good then, you're the only one I gave my number to. If it wasn't you it would have been another stalker."
"Another stalker? You must be a good looking one then?"
"I do alright...you don't remember me do you?"
"I remember your voice."
"To most girls that would have sounded weird but..."
"Not to you?"
The silence was the most beautiful I have ever experienced in my life .
"Not to me."
My heart skipped a beat again for the umpteenth time that morning.
If it was a normal situation I would have been in an ambulance by then.
"So are you going to tell me your problem or what?"
"What problem?"
"The problem which got you drunk and almost beaten up by Sharon."
I let out a stuttered laugh as I promised myself to never drink again.
~
And kids I didn't drink until that time with your mom where we got arrested for vandalism and assault but that's a story for another day.
~
"Girlfriend problems?"
She offered.
Truth was I didn't know anymore.
Up till last night I thought I knew what the meaning of love was.
Now I know that I didn't know squat about love and I was the imbecile who confused digestion problems and infatuation with love.
I didn't know what to tell her.
That I was falling for a woman I have never met.
She could have been a psychopath for all I knew but I didn't care.
So I said the only thing I could think of.
"What's love to you?"
I could practically hear her breathing hard.
"Well I don't know. I guess I haven't found the right guy yet."
The sudden hope that overtook me was unexpected.
"But I want that person to love me not despite of my quirks but love me even more because of them? Is that stupid."
"To most guys it would have been but..."
"Not to you?"
"Not to me."
~
When you fall in love kids, you get a weird feeling.
You will start smiling for no reason at all and your heart isn't in sync with your mind anymore. Everything goes wrong but it never will feel this right ever again.
That's what I realized that day.
~
"So, can I come up now, I think it's gonna rain."
"Wait, have you been down there all night?"
"You don't remember anything do you? You only went up five minutes ago...I was going to leave when you called."
I was filled with mixed emotions...now my stomach was doing somersaults out of anxiety and probably the alcohol but mostly the anxiety as I ran towards the window.
I stopped dead in my tracks.
If her voice beautiful her face was it's daddy.
What the hell Rey?
Never mind.
Point is, she was gorgeous.
I could only say one thing.
"Holy crap, you're beautiful..."
I saw her smile as I started to lose my balance.
"No, my name is Taani Skekewat. And you are?"
"In love..."
"What?"
"I mean...Reeey!"
I tried to regain my balance but it was much too late.
~
"That day I fell off my window and landed on your mother. She sprained her wrist while I fractured my arm."
"And kids...that's how I met your mother."
"OH MY GOD!"
"Dad I gotta admit that was amazing."
"Thanks Rohan, what do you think Shreya? I noticed you are smiling which is a rarity altogether."
"I think that if I meet my future husband I do not want to fall head first on him."
"That's understandable but destiny has its ways... I was admitted in the hospital for two weeks, in extreme agony but I don't remember being so happy at that point of time. The truth is I wouldn't have had it any other way."
"That's actually kinda sweet Dad...now I gotta go before you start telling us the story of how we were conceived...bye dad."
"You got quite a humour on ya, just like your mom...bye guys...you should be happy I didn't take like nine years."
So essentially that's the story of how I met the love of my life.
The trick is to never give up.
It took me two minutes to realize I was in love
Two weeks to heal.
Two months to propose
And two years to complete our family with Shreya.
Even if I only manage to live for another 20 years that time spent with the love of my life is the most amazing moments anyone would have ever experienced.
The story of how I met their mother was stupid on many levels, beautiful in others but really it's the best.
Because really, it's all mine, just like my Taani.
Only mine.
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