People Pleasers - gud/bad? pls see pg 3

IMAGINE A CONDITION THAT AFFECTS a huge portion of the population, a condition that causes severe anxiety and depression, cripples self-esteem, and undermines and destroys relationships. The condition described here is not drug addiction, schizophrenia, or a career in politics. It is chronic niceness - people pleasing. It's sufferers simply can't say NO (source - link)

1. Are you a people pleaser? not to the extremity explained above, but general want to make everyone happy by saying yes yes and yes.

2. What are reasons of one being a pleaser?

3. Any advice on how to overcome this or other thoughts?

Saw advisement of a book called 'how to say NO', and we had a topic touching other side of this discussion by Abhi (link), so thought might a good topic to debate on.

Almost all fall victim of this knowingly or unknowingly. It is very easy to go out of way and sometimes out of your principles and upbringing to say yes to tnings to keep other happy....They can even come as small example as kids....since charity starts at home..I will start giving example of kids...so many times parents say yes to keep their kids happy, yes to work assigned in office to keep their boss happy, yes to friends to keep them happy...and sometimes in return you feel good about it other times end up being miserable...

Now this leads to intersting question when and where to draw line.....after you learn that you can't do something just to make other happy...but then when do you say enough is enough....??????????

Hmm, maybe I am. I can't say for sure.

I do all I can to make another happy, but it is cause...

1.I genuinely want others to be happy (not necessarily with me, but just happy)

2. I like to assist others in whatever way I can.

3. I can't bear conflict.

I don't please people to get a favor out or it doens't mean that I will not say what is on my mind (good or bad) to others. Also, I do not allow people to walk all over me. I am pretty good at doing that all by myself. 😆

Persy

Pleasing people just comes natural because everyone wants to be like, unless you have that rebel attitude then you wouldn't really bother with the niceties.
People usually find it easier to say 'no' to those they don't like. Sad but true.
If you say 'no' to someone you hardly know then it's rather rude and therefore, you would be doing it out of politeness.

Originally posted by: raj5000

1. Are you a people pleaser? not to the extremity explained above, but general want to make everyone happy by saying yes yes and yes. - I guess im a people pleaser, I mean, in skewl when people ask me to do their homework or their projects, i can't say no, I usually end up doing it.

2. What are reasons of one being a pleaser?

- I dont know, i just think its mean to say no

3. Any advice on how to overcome this or other thoughts?
- I seriously don't know, because, i just cant say no...
- I usually think that being a people pleaser si not bad, but it can affect a person, because usualy when i do people's homework, or their project, i end up having no time to do it for myself, and i end up getting the worser grade...

😃

-Mahak-

Originally posted by: daisyUSA

Almost all fall victim of this knowingly or unknowingly. It is very easy to go out of way and sometimes out of your principles and upbringing to say yes to tnings to keep other happy....They can even come as small example as kids....since charity starts at home..I will start giving example of kids...so many times parents say yes to keep their kids happy, yes to work assigned in office to keep their boss happy, yes to friends to keep them happy...and sometimes in return you feel good about it other times end up being miserable...

Now this leads to intersting question when and where to draw line.....after you learn that you can't do something just to make other happy...but then when do you say enough is enough....??????????

Good Question:

Enough is enough when:

1. Your personal and professional life is impact.

2. U are inculcating something which u think in incorrect to kids.

3. When u feel that u are taken for granted.

4. Realize please anyone is more important then XYZ task.

5. After reading /learning hat is right ot wron.

Originally posted by: reeps

Hmm, maybe I am. I can't say for sure.

I do all I can to make another happy, but it is cause...

1.I genuinely want others to be happy (not necessarily with me, but just happy)

2. I like to assist others in whatever way I can.

3. I can't bear conflict.

I don't please people to get a favor out or it doens't mean that I will not say what is on my mind (good or bad) to others. Also, I do not allow people to walk all over me. I am pretty good at doing that all by myself. 😆

Persy

Is helping others attitude resulting negatively?

Originally posted by: Inasense

Pleasing people just comes natural because everyone wants to be like, unless you have that rebel attitude then you wouldn't really bother with the niceties.
People usually find it easier to say 'no' to those they don't like. Sad but true.
If you say 'no' to someone you hardly know then it's rather rude and therefore, you would be doing it out of politeness.

One question don't mind please.

Ok saying yes to ppl u like is impacting ur commitments, and involves sacrifice from your end then also u will go for it?

Originally posted by: Mini786

😃

-Mahak-

Pleaser at what cost? Doing so are u loosing anything?

General thought after reading previous thoughts, at some point u have to draw the line. 😊