Rob a person??? - Page 3

Originally posted by: maha2us

@Peridot: As God says, there has to be balance between giving and receiving.

@Aarya: This is how I understand it was definitely the conversation the author had with God. Each of us have unconscious conversation with God. I am telling my experience here. But the conversation won't be uniform and there are other voices also which disrupts this conversation. There are other voices because we tell ourselves repeatedly many things told by our parents and other elders which are all inducing fear and we also scare ourselves many times. what God tells doesn't scare people. If what you hear has joy, truth and love, it is God's voice for you.

Sorry, I am not to talk more on this area because this is totally off the original topic of this thread.

Originally posted by: -Aarya-

I agree it's a separate topic for discussion...but in the end it all drills down to your beliefs!

I have been through this situation several times. It's unfortunate, to say the least. Several years ago, I remember seeing my late mother pack a whole suitcase to its capacity with all sorts of gifts, goodies, candy, etc. etc. etc. - you name it! She was a very generous lady who believed in satisfying everyone and making them happy. I was very young then. To go against my parents' wish was something I hadn't learned. However, as I grew, I did take my chance to ask her about our relatives' insatiable hunger to materialistic goods from abroad. I remember this one time I had an altercation with her over her decision to gift her relatives jewelry articles made of 22 carat gold. Good lord! My relatives had robbed her (but then, she was equally to blame!).

This happens with all almost all of us. It's our fault too. We tend to buy their happiness and support this way. We ourselves set the rules for this deceptive and pretentious love and care from our relatives. We feed their expectations-hungry egos and allow ourselves to be put to their test. And yes, I would really like to share this. In 2010, I was visiting India after 13 long years (the last I was there was in 1997). One of my younger aunts (my dad's youngest sister) hugged me the moment she saw me. Little did I know that her hugging was not to welcome me or to make me feel at home; it was her siren to announce the start of her customs and goods inspection. I politely handed her over a packet that my dad had asked me to give to her. It had some goodies for her and her children (my bratty cousins). In the back of my mind, I had this perception that it was a gift from ALL of us. But then she started questioning about each and every member of the family - did your sister give anything? Did her husband give anything? Did your uncle (my aunt's brother) give anything? I was shocked at her lust for materialistic gifts. In a trice, I asked her to let go of it as that one package was from all of us and that we didn't think it was necessary for everyone to send you gifts separately and individually. There are many more instances like that. The best we can do is, whenever we are around them, we shouldn't give them an impression that we are there to feed them or whatever. Yes, once in a while it's OK to take them out and treat them, but don't make giving gifts a habit. I have a lot more tales to share when it comes to relatives and their selfish behaviors. But I'll leave that to the end, until I hear some good and relevant stories from others on this thread.

Originally posted by: -Roshan-

I have been through this situation several times. It's unfortunate, to say the least. Several years ago, I remember seeing my late mother pack a whole suitcase to its capacity with all sorts of gifts, goodies, candy, etc. etc. etc. - you name it! She was a very generous lady who believed in satisfying everyone and making them happy. I was very young then. To go against my parents' wish was something I hadn't learned. However, as I grew, I did take my chance to ask her about our relatives' insatiable hunger to materialistic goods from abroad. I remember this one time I had an altercation with her over her decision to gift her relatives jewelry articles made of 22 carat gold. Good lord! My relatives had robbed her (but then, she was equally to blame!).

This happens with all almost all of us. It's our fault too. We tend to buy their happiness and support this way. We ourselves set the rules for this deceptive and pretentious love and care from our relatives. We feed their expectations-hungry egos and allow ourselves to be put to their test. And yes, I would really like to share this. In 2010, I was visiting India after 13 long years (the last I was there was in 1997). One of my younger aunts (my dad's youngest sister) hugged me the moment she saw me. Little did I know that her hugging was not to welcome me or to make me feel at home; it was her siren to announce the start of her customs and goods inspection. I politely handed her over a packet that my dad had asked me to give to her. It had some goodies for her and her children (my bratty cousins). In the back of my mind, I had this perception that it was a gift from ALL of us. But then she started questioning about each and every member of the family - did your sister give anything? Did her husband give anything? Did your uncle (my aunt's brother) give anything? I was shocked at her lust for materialistic gifts. In a trice, I asked her to let go of it as that one package was from all of us and that we didn't think it was necessary for everyone to send you gifts separately and individually. There are many more instances like that. The best we can do is, whenever we are around them, we shouldn't give them an impression that we are there to feed them or whatever. Yes, once in a while it's OK to take them out and treat them, but don't make giving gifts a habit. I have a lot more tales to share when it comes to relatives and their selfish behaviors. But I'll leave that to the end, until I hear some good and relevant stories from others on this thread.

Originally posted by: ---Sonia---

I can tell you a story since you have share one...
This was when I was really little and when my grandmother have come to visit us. She stayed with us for 6 months and that time we did not have that much money. Anyhow, she saw how we lived in a rented flat then. Every she saw her son work hard and make money. Later when she was about to go, she asked to ask things to bring to India and my father brought her things, but she still had hunger and later she asked to buy games, dvds (this was then dvds were new). Since we could not buy her, we had to give her the one we used in our home and the game also. But did you know that game was brought when it was my sister bday. She knew how we lived and how we every day had to survive but still she did not care about it...

Yes, some parts we are also on fault to buy things, but let be honset we buy things because sometimes if we dont then they get angry and start to tell stories about how the other NRI have buy things for their family. I do understand what you feel because I have seen this my whole life and I am so fed up...

Originally posted by: -Roshan-

Whoa! Except for the DVD part, I could relate to each and everything you said! WERE YOU MY SIBLING IN MY PREVIOUS LIFE? 😆

I cannot even express how my late grandmother robbed my dad off his feet. My family has a history of greed and materialism.

Originally posted by: peridot.

This is not limited to only NRIs. We get to see examples of greed or materialism even amongst relatives residing in India. Relatives from rural areas making demands from those earning better in urban areas, less affluent siblings and cousins, inlaws etc making repeated deamnds from a little better off relatives, the men making dowry demands from the girl's family whether rich or not - are all instances that show the growing trend towards early and easy gratification with scant regard for other person's ability or intention to gift.

At the same time there are good and considerate friends and relatives who are understanding. People who can afford to must not forget their parents or other relatives contribution towards their present status in life. Person should know how much he can afford and gift accordingly without feeling forced simply to maintain a false image of his material worth amongst his relatives.