Rob a person???

Hi everyone

This is going to be my first post here which I am making.

I want to ask you everyone that if you see a NRI person, what is your thoughts?

I am asking this because I feel that everytime a NRI person comes to India after long time, the person brings gifts for them later spent money on their relatives. and then give money them. Okey, because this NRI person has come this person has to bring his own money to spent and give some to their relatives as thanks.

But later if a relatives comes from India and brings also gifts but they have not brought moeny with them and the NRI person has to again spent money on relative. buy what she wants because she has told. and you cant say no because if you do then they will be angry as always.

So I want to again ask you this is right?
I mean what most people forget is this person who is a NRI has to work to survie and later pay bills and that.

just because a person is a NRI does not mean that they are rich or have lost of money.

sprry if I have hurt someone feelings but I feel that sometimes the NRI person get robs by their own so call family.

Sorry i misread situation and intention of the post. sometime relatives are too demanding by having preconcieved notion without understanding others position. May be u can explain them politely.

I understand your post I am an NRI myself and I have faced similar situations. What I feel is that many people have this preconceived notion and stereotype from different mediums such as media, films, newspapers that all NRI's have money on their trees. At times the demands become so high that it is impossible to fulfill but you want to so that they don't feel bad after all they r family. That's the thing it's like a vicious circle, I believe in families we shuld all set up some early boundaries so that no feel the stress and everyone can live peacefully.

Originally posted by: Desigirl_21

I understand your post I am an NRI myself and I have faced similar situations. What I feel is that many people have this preconceived notion and stereotype from different mediums such as media, films, newspapers that all NRI's have money on their trees. At times the demands become so high that it is impossible to fulfill but you want to so that they don't feel bad after all they r family. That's the thing it's like a vicious circle, I believe in families we shuld all set up some early boundaries so that no feel the stress and everyone can live peacefully.

I really hope I have not offended anyone, just my point of view

You are really right:)

thanks for understanding:)

@ Sonia sorry if it sound personal, i really appriciate u for sharing ur genuine response . There is a certain perception on NRI life. It is due to many factors where people forget all living the same life albiet a different comfort level. Regarding solution : For distance relative never care or give two hoot when they try to become demanding . For own sibling and parents spend till u r comfortable. To avoid unnecessry demand before they hv expection u hv to shatter ur image, u can share how difficult to live NRI life , how everything costly, credit card , rent , loans etc and there is no chance of saving ,how u urself urgently need money for different obligation ( artificially make up few things how it is difficult life) :). make the situation till like they hv to think before having unreasonable expectation. u may loose the image of rich but u will nt loose the relations :)

Originally posted by: ramjaane

@ Sonia sorry if it sound personal, i really appriciate u for sharing ur genuine response . There is a certain perception on NRI life. It is due to many factors where people forget all living the same life albiet a different comfort level. Regarding solution : For distance relative never care or give two hoot when they try to become demanding . For own sibling and parents spend till u r comfortable. To avoid unnecessry demand before they hv expection u hv to shatter ur image, u can share how difficult to live NRI life , how everything costly, credit card , rent , loans etc and there is no chance of saving ,how u urself urgently need money for different obligation ( artificially make up few things how it is difficult life) :). make the situation till like they hv to think before having unreasonable expectation. u may loose the image of rich but u will nt loose the relations :)

You are right but not everyone thinks like that and also I have seen and I dont want to be rude but some people only know to take and never give back. They want to take from you but then it time to give the person who has given you so much, they get angry. Let be honset, when we NRI need money, I really dont think a person who lives in India will help because a they will say how they are poor and dont have any money. But if a person who lives in India are in need of money and ask a NRI then we have to help them. that is the true and that is why sometimes I feel that famlies only know how to rob and rob. they dont care that you have come to india after so long time, only your money.

@Sonia: This is an important topic. And I have seen practically how a NRI have dealt with her resident Indian sibling. I myself had been an NRI also though at present I am a resident Indian.

This is not a serious comment.

Originally posted by: maha2us

@Sonia: This is an important topic. And I have seen practically how a NRI have dealt with her resident Indian sibling. I myself had been an NRI also though at present I am a resident Indian.

This is how I see what is to be done. I can understand what you say. People perceive NRIs have lot of money though you know your truth. One thing I learn is I am not going to achieve anything by hurting myself. if I find it uncomfortable to spend money on someone, I definitely would tell my position. It is perfectly OK because I am not to lose myself for not losing someone else. Why am I to spend money on someone else when I don't expect anyone to spend for me? Note that for me the first person to take care of is myself and for you the first person to take care of is yourself.

Neither am I interested in visiting those relatives who expect me to spend money on them because they cry to be victims and because of this attitude they could not come up successful. Poor people can be self-respecting also which is the only way they could come up in life instead of crying victims. I strongly believe relationships could be built on love and not necessarily on blood. Interestingly just because you are firm, you are not going to lose them. What they will do utmost is talk behind your back that you are a miser. Why do you have to care for their opinion?

We all know the original story 'Ant and the Grasshopper.' We are all served if we follow the principle the ant had. The ant said firmly, 'We ants never borrow. We ants never lend.'

@Desigirl: You said very good points.

Sorry if I offended anyone.

the line about the relationships being built on blood and love is so true..I think we all come across such relationships and find more solace in friendships with people who are not ur relatives. But I guess money always comes in between..a times it all depends on the culture the person have been brought up in irrespective of if he is an NRI or not...ppl from individualistic cultures will probably not spend more and will have no claims in saying no to certain things to their relatives however it does become difficult for collectivistic culture ppl to setting up boundaries and even the relatives do not think before asking., it's all the nature-nuture debate for me.