anandi, her sasra fixation

Page

Next Last

leavesandwaves

@leavesandwaves

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

Child anandi exhibited certain tendencies like not going to her mayka after Jagya's marriage with Gudiya.

Even when Gauri happened she wanted to be in her sasra. Saajan bina sasra.

Now If Ira wants her to get out, she may still try to stick with them and only extreme conditions will make her leave her second sasra.

Anandi will cry until she is taken back.

Quote

Frequent Posters

aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: leavesandwaves
Child anandi exhibited certain tendencies like not going to her mayka after Jagya's marriage with Gudiya.

Even when Gauri happened she wanted to be in her sasra. Saajan bina sasra.

Now If Ira wants her to get out, she may still try to stick with them and only extreme conditions will make her leave her second sasra.

Anandi will cry until she is taken back.

This sasra fixation is ingrained in the minds of women of this country. Anandi is no exception.

These are the things that I heard from my own family over the generations despite being a well educated family and who insisted on educating women and making them self sufficient when it came to daughter's marriage they always felt once they get their daughter married she and her welfare becomes the responsibility of her sasrewale.

-----------------

Coming to Anandi her mother put the seed inside her head that her sasra is her home from the time she was old enough to understand spoken word.

When she ran away to her mother's place because DSa locked her up in store room her mother without even bothering to find out what happened she brought her back to haweli and told strictly not to comeback no matter what happens.No matter what these kind of harsh things do work on children's mind and it made her believe that she has really done something wrong by walking out of her sasra.

----------

When Gudiya thing happened - her parents wanted her to go back with them but by then she has already made a place for herself in her sasra.The entire Singh family except DS fought for her.So she felt obliged to stay back with them.Because she also started to feel that BH was her rightful place and it is her home now.

-------------------

When Jagya walked in with Gauri she packed her bags and started to leave but then DSa got a heart attack at the sight of her leaving Haweli and did not want her to leave them.Then when Singhs chose her over their son she felt that she should be there with them and they also made it clear that if she is not bahu she will be beti of the house.So it was right given to her by them.Her relationship with Singhs has had nothing to do with Jagya.

---------------

Anandi's current sasra - she made them her own because of her love for Shiv.

She was respectful towards them and considerate to them and did not talk back to them. and tolerated them but she made them her family only after she whole heartedly accepted Shiv as her husband.From then onwards she never spared any effort to make them happy and she did her best to make their lives comfortable.This relationship with them is more because of her relationship with Shiv.Leaving this sasra means leaving Shiv.

The reasons for Annadi's attachment seem to be many apart from the belief that was ingrained in her that her sasra is her home till the day she dies.

Edited by aparnauma - 12 years ago

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

brick_red

@brick_red

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

Bhago and Khajan wanted Anandi to stay in her sasra even when child Anandi had to undergo lots of problems. DS rediculed Anandi's parents but they kept quiet. Actually even now, similar thing is happening. When Ira put the ultimatum that Anandi has to choose between the two families and she should not keep any contact with Singhs, Anandi's current parents(Singhs) kept quiet. They silentely let Anandi go with the Shekhars. Nobody uttered a word that a daughter's relationship to her parents is equally important as a son's relationship to his parents. So it is not only Anandi who is fixated with Sasra, everybody in BV land has the same sexist views.

Quote

642126

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

What can Anandi do if this was forever driven in her mind since childhood that only sasra was her foremost duty?

Who'd hear her cries and pleas? They'd instead scold her, punish her, accuse her of shaming the family and then throw her to sasra again.

This mentality is not only prevalent in villages but also urban areas. I've seen educated and so called modern people also calling their daughters as "guests" in their house and talking bull like "ab kuch hi saalon ki baat hai". There's a relative who tells his 8 year old daughter almost every other day how many years are left for her in the house! 🤢 When others tell him to cut down this talk and let the child be, he admonishes them and thunders that he'll get her married the day she turns 18.

What can girls do if such conditioning prevails?

Yeh toh mehmaan hai. Jab tera apna ghar hoga toh wahan bolna. Tu kuch saal baad apne ghar jayegi.

As if her parents' house is not her home. Apna ghar is only sasra!

Quote

leavesandwaves

@leavesandwaves

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Skepblun
What can Anandi do if this was forever driven in her mind since childhood that only sasra was her foremost duty?

Who'd hear her cries and pleas? They'd instead scold her, punish her, accuse her of shaming the family and then throw her to sasra again.

This mentality is not only prevalent in villages but also urban areas. I've seen educated and so called modern people also calling their daughters as "guests" in their house and talking bull like "ab kuch hi saalon ki baat hai". There's a relative who tells his 8 year old daughter almost every other day how many years are left for her in the house! 🤢 When others tell him to cut down this talk and let the child be, he admonishes them and thunders that he'll get her married the day she turns 18.

What can girls do if such conditioning prevails?

Yeh toh mehmaan hai. Jab tera apna ghar hoga toh wahan bolna. Tu kuch saal baad apne ghar jayegi.

As if her parents' house is not her home. Apna ghar is only sasra!

Nowadays women chose to live independently as the alternative. No sasra, no maika.

Quote

Jan50

@Jan50

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

Unfortunately that is Indian culture. But how long should parents keep caring for their adult children?

It is also good that daughters are told not to come back running for each and every small dispute.

If they dont instill that value in them girls will not learn to adjust . It may sound very cruel,but

There is some sense in every tradition. In the western world after 18 parnts drive their children out

To find a life for themselves. Until then they take good care of them instilling strong values in them.

Boys stay with parents in Indian culture because it is their responsibility to take care of them.

Most of Indians belong to lower middle class to poor. How can they keep entertaining adult

Married daughters in their homes placing a huge burden on their sons?

Older parents do not want any more responsibility whether they are rural or urban.

Even in this serial Cm indicated to Sanchi before they were going for Jagia Rishta that she should

Be careful in her decision whether she can handle the village life because she just can not

Pick up her bags and come back if it does not work out.no where in this world parents entertain

Older children boy or girl to come back to them. Even in India if a boy does not earn parents

Dont want them in their house.

Edited by Jan50 - 12 years ago

Quote

642126

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

@Jan50

There is no burden if a woman is working and earning on her own.

If a woman is working and earning then she can come anywhere or live independently.

What Indians deffo need to get rid of is this BS social stigma.

I hate how Anandi was taunted or treated like a pitiable figure by some (DS included) when she was Sarpanch.

@Leaves

Yeah they live independently and I personally feel marriage shouldn't be treated as ultimate dead end or mission of life (for anyone be it boys or girls).

Problem is with mindset and crap social stigma.

Shekhars are not poor or villagers. Still CM warned Sanchi before marriage that she couldn't come running to them after marriage.

Quote

Jan50

@Jan50

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

Skep,absolutely. If a woman can earn and live independently and take care of the parents in old

Age that is perfctly ok. In fact it is happening in many parts of India. In fact the real India is lot

more practical than what they show in serials like BV.

One of my cousins(girl) did not want to get married. She backed off from many alliances developing cold feet .But she was living with my aunt who was living withHer son. But my aunt was smart enough to move her to a women's hostel to make her

Independent for future so that she does not think she can live with her brothers. Now she is an independent woman working and living alone. I guess in south India and also in Maharashtra it is more common for Women to take up employment and be independent compared to places like Rajasthan and UP. Women's oppression is lot more in these places.

Quote

Aashima Ahuja

@Aashima.

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

@TM I fully support @Aparna's logics.

Apart from that I believe that she will leave only in case if Shiv also wants her to go.

Its not about Sasra or maika.

For her It is that whether people want her to be with them or not.

Her biological parents always wanted her to live in BH and not with them as she was Singh's DIL...

Later they came to take her back after Jagya married Gauri...only bcoz they thought that about Anandi's pain that she got in return of all her goodness to J & singhs and that their daughter was suffering in BH and also bcoz In their POV Singh's have always supported J over A and thus doesnt deserve A at all.

But At that time, to their surprise, A refused to go as whole Singh's were supporting her over J and even disowned their own son for her...& was treating her as their daughter.

So I guess BH & Singhs had never been a true sasra for Anandi as She had spent her whole childhood there...and Bhairon & Sumitra loved her far more than their own daughter...Later Dadisa also Joined the group after she realized the worth of Anandi.

She has got her true sasural in form in KB with shekhars.

She had always tried to make a connection with Shekhars but for them she always had been a DIL, an outsider who had come to their house by marrying their son.

Shekhars never tried to accept her in true sense...with her past baggage, her obligations towards her parents cum ex-inlaws...and with her real true self & principles.

They only want her to support them in any condition whether they are right or wrong...And that Anandi should not dare to speak up against them or raise her doubts or give her opinions.

...excluding Shiv & CM...(As Shiv is not forcing her to change her stand on J...His is like "ok u can support J but dont expect the same from me...I will support my sister.")

Anyday If She will realize that Shekhars including Shiv and most importantly Shiv doesn't want her to be in KB and that there is nothing left which she can do in order to mend the relationships...I bet She will leave them...Whether Ira/anybody explicitly tell her to leave or not.

And that time i believe that she will not go to BH or bilaria...but will either remain anywhere in UP itself or will go to some other place & will make a name for herself on her own.

Edited by aashimaahuja - 12 years ago

Quote

642126

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#10

Agree. Anandi will leave only when she feels Shekhars want her to leave. Husband included.

Though I don't think she will be forced to leave. Still I think if at all, she has to leave, she will go anywhere else like some women's hostel or whatever than go to Jetsar or Bilaria.

Quote

1 2

anandi, her sasra fixation

Related Topics

Explore Topics