FF: War Path (Aslok fight it out)

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gauriangel

@gauriangel

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#251

u are truely awesome writer👍🏼

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sb1234

@sb1234

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

#252

i just read the whole story in one go and loved it .. looking fwd to the next part :)

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Qanita Zakir

@Qanita

Beginner

Posted: 12 years ago

#253

best of best ff... omg. literally the best ff. cvs should actually get ideas from your ff seriously. I have read all the 5 chapters today. I was reading some other post in which u had mentioned your ff n I came here and I felt so engrossed in your ff. it seems like I am watching the show. the way you have depicted each character, hats off to you. bookmarked. will surely read the rest of the chapters. I hate suspense. n i hope you will update chapter 6 soon :-) excellent work. nothing to criticise. there is nothinggg to criticise.

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shay.sana

@shay.sana

Explorer

Posted: 12 years ago

#254

it's awesome...i would love if cv's do something like this in show too...

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ArshiAnalyst

@ArshiAnalyst

Explorer

Posted: 12 years ago

#255

Juz caught up with the story... n I've already fallen for it...

Simply put... Awesomely beautiful.. 😊

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Marybarton

@Marybarton

Rocker

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#256

Thank you for all the comments and suggestions. It is good to see many old friends reading this story. Always love hearing from new people too. Some were wondering why Astha behaved in a childish manner and why Astha's parents were indulging Shlok over Astha. While this is no defense, that is my interpretation of the characters:

Astha is not really evil, she won't be the type that goes VAMP overnight. She will try in her own ways to take revenge and some of those will be quite innocent because this is not her comfort zone. Also, she is not as mean in her parents home because 1) she's someone's child in that home, not someone's bibi/bahu and 2) there she is surrounded by loved ones she does not want to hurt. They will be hurt if they come to know about how seriously betrayed she was. It is safer if they mistake her anger for tantrums over small nok-jhoks. Astha could not tolerate acting lovey-dovey with Shlok because it would be a lie. In acting out, she was not exactly lying to her family and was at the same time not giving them the full reality. Astha does not intentionally tamper it down there, she genuinely cannot be vengeful in her own home. She did not plan out how she would act but she could not act like everything was peachy.

She's more territoral there about Shlok taking her share of the affection because she's an only child who has never had it happen. Shlok, on the other hand, gets all this attention because Astha's family is trying to make it up for all the misunderstandings before the wedding and because he's their daughter's husband now. Her family is not actually ignoring her. They are making sure that they treat well the person who should then...treat their daughter well.

That's my understanding at least. Thank you for all the comments. I just love when you guys analyze the why, what, when and where. Can't wait to hear from you about how you think Chapter 6 went.

Chapter 6:

Shlok stopped at the red light: They don't need to find out how I really am. Speaking of which, you do not know how I really am.
Astha shrugged: I do not take an iota of interest in knowing you any better.

That hurt.

Shlok retorted: You did until yesterday!
Astha leisurely inclined her seat, lay back and started to take off her bangles: Precisely.

Owned, Shlok kept his mouth shut the rest of the way. Any attempt to make communication a little more comfortable between them was at an end. Pag-Phera was over.

Through his peripheral vision he saw her depositing the suhagan bangles carelessly in his side coffee holder before yawning and closing her eyes to sleep. Not a slip of emotion escaped her. How could she change like this, he wondered.

Shlok parked: We are home. Astha? Astha...
Astha squinted: Oh good, The Great AGNIHOTRI Mansion is here.
He glared at her.

She opened the door and slipped out. Before he knew it, there was a banging behind him. Shlok looked out his window, irritated from lack of sleep.

Shlok: What is it?
Astha sleepily: Open the trunk. I have to get my stuff!
Shlok: Someone will get it for you.
Astha sarcastically: Why, is it not standard for an Agnihotri bahu to carry anything?

Shlok took a deep breath. He was about to respond when she waved him off and made her way inside.

Everyone had gone to bed. Shlok quickly followed Astha after ordering her "stuff" to be brought up. He brought the bangles himself.

A little later...

Shlok was trying hard to twist and turn until he could find a comfortable position on the divan, but it was of no use. He was too tall for the cursed thing.

Astha walked into room with her plain, cotton nighty on. It did not go unnoticed with him that she had not yet touched a single piece of clothing or jewelry gifted to her as part of her wedding trousseau. She strictly wore what she had brought from her home, down to her nighty and sandals.

Too tired to think, Shlok hazarded a chance: Umm...may I sleep on the other side of the bed?
Astha looked at him as if it was the most absurd suggestion: Excuse me?
Shlok hesitated: I will put a barrier in the middle and keep to my side.
Astha: No.
Shlok: Sorry?
Astha, sternly: The answer is, N-O. In any case, that side is reserved.
Shlok, flabbergasted: It is a king sized bed and you are a pint-sized woman. How much space can you need?
Astha arched an eyebrow: Not for me, the other side is reserved for Darcy.
Shlok: Huh? Who is Darcy?
Astha looked at him like he was an idiot, slowly she enunciated: Mr. Darcy...
Shlok blanched at the suggestion that another man would share his wife's bed: What!? Oh. Oh my God Astha, you mean that fictional character from what's that book...Northanger Abbey?

He burst out laughing, lack of sleep usually made him giddy.

Shlok: Don't tell me, he's your imaginary friend.
Astha's face turned as red as her night dress: Shut. Up. For your information, the book is Pride and Prejudice. Go shower, the bathroom is yours. And no, under no circumstances can you share any side of the bed with me. It is hilarious that you can even suggest such a thing. (Her eyes were like shards of glass) Now that's something to laugh at.

Having silenced him, she padded over to the bed as Shlok went to the shower.

When he came back, he saw her cuddling up to her teddy in his bed. It had a pillow and side of its own. Mr. Darcy. Of course.

Shlok: You brought that back with you?
Astha did not bother to open her eyes: I am in no mood for chit-chat.

When he went to get blankets for his floor bedding, he heard her mumble, "He smells of home."

Shlok's heart skipped a beat. How could he be so inconsiderate? She was homesick.

Her phone rang. She took the call into the balcony.

Ayi: You arrived safely, honey?
Astha's throat contracted and she struggled hard to hold back tears.
Ayi was crying: I was mean to my poor baby, wasn't I?

Astha nodded as tears rolled down her eyes. Her mom had not baby-talked her in years and it really did her good right about now, with her heart in pieces.

Ayi: Beta, you wanted to marry him, na? How can you understand him if you fight like cats? We all know he's temperamental, so you have to be a little patient, don't you? And I wasn't angry at my baby, how could I when I missed her so much last night? Baba, Ajju, we all missed you so much.
Astha, softly: Yes. I mm-missed you too. I miss you now.
Ayi: I know, love. I miss you too. Is everything okay between you two now? You will tell me if it is something more serious, won't you, Asthu?
Astha clamped her hand over her mouth to stop crying and blurting out that she wanted to be taken home: Hmmm...
Ayi: You love him, don't you sweetie? You don't know each other too well, so you have to make a patient effort, honey. That's all I meant to say.
Astha: Haan, Ayi.
Ayi warily: Cause we all know, he's an angry young man and can be quite...
Astha: Hmm...(you have no idea, she thought).
Ayi sniffed: So, you are going to bed now?
Astha: Yes.
Ayi: Okay, you must be tired. All week of wedding and now Pag-Phera. Okay, rest up my baccha. I will talk to you tomorrow, okay? And no more tears. We are just a few miles away right? And you are always in our minds and our hearts. Baba also says goodnight.

Shlok watched from behind as Astha wiped her cheeks with fisted hands and walked back quietly. Their eyes met, hers tearful and his guilty. She looked away, he made himself busy with the first-aid box.

He was still fishing for the right ointment for his palm when she came and pointed at the yellow one.

Astha in a small voice: Need help?

Shlok stumbled for the right words. Unsuccessful, he just handed her the yellow tube.

Astha opened it as he opened his right palm for her. The crooked red lines of the mehendi was fading now. He noticed as the same time she did and grimaced. His treachery on their haldi night flashed before her eyes and took with it any remorse she was feeling now.

She squeezed some of the ointment on his left hand.

Astha: I am sure you can apply it on yourself.

Having said as much, she went to bed.

Lights off...

Shlok had fallen asleep almost instantly on his new floor bedding right by the king sized bed that he no longer had a claim to. A week of little to no sleep knocked him out. He was a light sleeper however, and the faint tickling on his arm made him look up.

Astha was quietly staring down at him from the side of the bed, looking like a pale doll in the moonlight. She clutched her furry friend to her chest as her hair spilled over, tickling his arm with its ends.

Shlok jumped: God! Astha!
Astha: I want to know about Swati.
Shlok took a deep breath, he was about to pass out: Tomorrow.
Astha: Now!

Shlok: Astha, I have not slept all week. Please, can we talk about it tomorrow? I will tell you anything you need to know. Your sleep deprivation experiment has been a tremendous success. Please, I am going to pass out now if I...
Astha abruptly: Did you sleep with her?
Shlok, shocked: What!? No!
Astha: So, what kind of a relationship was it?

Shlok sighed and leaned up against the wall. She was not going to let it rest.

Shlok: It was first love. She was a fine arts student in the our university here and I had just joined after my MBA.
Astha was quiet for a little while: You...wanted to get married?
Shlok took a deep breath, this was very uncomfortable: Yes.
Astha: Why didn't your family agree?
Shlok grew grim: Mrs. Agnihotri...Ayi (he corrected when Astha looked at him disapprovingly), objected and made her life in this city impossible. When I found out, I became a little too protective of her and ended up secluding her from all her friends. She found me selfish and decided to end the relationship. Happy?
Astha was picking at Mr. Darcy's nose: How long ago was this?
Shlok grimly: Three years.
Astha: So...where is she now?
Shlok hardened: Dead. Died in a car crash just as she dumped me on the side of the road.

It still stabbed him to recall that moment.

Astha was quiet for a long time: I am sorry.
Shlok: Thank you. I know I don't deserve any sympathy, but thank you.

He lay back down. She turned away on her bed.

Astha wondered aloud: And you still pine for her. That's why you and your Ayi are at loggerheads.

He did not say anything.

Astha: You know, I think I might have just been infatuated with you. It was not love. Otherwise, how could I just snap out of it overnight?

Her last few words sliced through him. He did not know why it mattered so much.

When Shlok did not say anything, she went on.

Astha: I mean, look at you. She dumped out and died. And you still pine for her, regardless of how it ended. Three years later. And here I am, I feel nothing for you anymore, just because you fooled me. I mean, it shouldn't matter what the other person does when you are in love. You can't stop loving. But I did. So, it was not love!

Her words cut like knives, but she wouldn't know. Was she just musing incessantly or salting his wounds?

Astha sounded thrilled: It means I haven't had a first love yet! I am yet to meet him!

Like hell you will, he thought angrily.

Shlok, cryptic: A freeing thought.
Astha sounded excited: Yes!

One day into their marriage and she was dreaming of meeting another man.

Shlok, bitterly: Congratulations, I guess. Goodnight.

In the dark, Astha wiped away her tears from the side of her face. If she was to hurt and pine, she would never let him get a whiff of it. Just because he broke her doesn't mean he should get the satisfaction of seeing her suffer day by day. Not as long as she lived, Astha promised herself.

"Shlok! Shlok, wake up!"

Shlok was still turned the other way: What is it now?
Astha: I am thirsty.
Shlok, levelly: Then, drink some water.
Astha: There's no water here.
Shlok: It's in the, uh, kitchen...(sleepily) downstairs. There's an ice button and water button on the fridge door, just hold a glass under it.

Thank God, it was not even dawn yet. His mind started floating back to sleep.

Astha: Will you come with me?
Shlok, irritated: You don't know your way to the kitchen?
Astha: I do. But, it's...
Shlok angrily: Maybe, you can ask Mr. Darcy to take you.

Finally, she was quiet.

Something warm dropped on his arm as she scuttled out of the room.

A tear drop, said a small voice in his head.

He sat up and looked about to adjust his eyes to the dark. Mr. Darcy was lying cozy on his side of the bed. Shlok sighed.

Astha's heart was beating so fast, she could hardly function. She bumped into a wall. These Agnihotris, for all their riches, they were cheap with their electricity bills she thought. It was pitch dark! How was she even going to find her way to the kitchen? Or back!?

Something moved.

Astha's hair was on ends now. It was right behind, the hair at the nape of her neck told her as much.

Shlok: Astha...? You okay?
Astha sighed in relief: Oh, it's you. I...I couldn't see...in the dark.

Of course, you couldn't see in the dark, redundant explanation Astha, she thought.

Shlok: Here hold my...(she grabbed his bitten hand with both hers). Okay. Now just watch your step.

In the kitchen...

He hoisted her up on a bar stool. The poor little thing, he could feel her pulse drumming like a cornered rabbit's as she held his hand and came to the kitchen.

How could you be so inconsiderate and forget she was afraid of the dark? He reprimanded himself for letting her drift off alone. First, she was new and homesick and then, he had to leave her to her own devices.

Shlok: Sit tight, I will get you your water.

Astha drank quickly as he handed her the glass.

Shlok: Let's sit here a while, okay? Calm down a little.
Astha: I am f-fine.
Shlok: Yes, I know you are. I was asking for myself.
Astha nodded: Oh.

They sat quietly for an uneasy period of time.

Shlok: I know, let's have some ice cream.

He conjured up some bowls and was scooping vanilla ice cream on her bowl before she could object.

Astha: Why are we having ice cream in the middle of the night?
Shlok: It's best that way. You have never done it?
Astha simply: No.
Shlok smiled: Well, you missed out. There's always a first time.

He served himself and dug in.

Astha stared as the white scoops on her bowl. Of course, Rakshas and his bland choices.

Shlok: What's wrong?
Astha: It's...no, nothing.

She spooned some, disinterestedly.

Something black fell on her ice-cream. She snapped up to see Shlok pouring some liquid on hers.

Shlok: Chocolate syrup. Now try it.

Astha tried it and smiled, despite herself.

Shlok: Better? (He waited) Good.

Shlok watched as she enjoyed her ice cream with childlike enthusiasm. Her small tear-stained cheeks moved slightly with each spoonful. He felt like he just missed a few steps while heading down a flight of stairs. She looked like an adorable chipmunk.

When he looked again, there was a little dollop of ice cream on the side of her lips. He instinctively went to wipe it off with his thumb when she moved back.

Astha snapped: Don't touch me!

Shlok receded, humiliated. For a second there he had really forgotten how things stood between them. She obviously did not.

Shlok cleared his throat: You have a little ice cream (he gestured), just there.

Astha roughly swiped at it, her frigid resolve coming back. Shlok could see that wall go up before his very eyes.

Astha: Well, that's enough ice cream for one night. I better get to bed, work tomorrow.
Shlok: Work?
Astha: Yes, work. I am still working with Manglesh Sir.
Shlok irritated: Agnihotri bahus do not...
Astha interrupted: There's always a first time, right? Hus-band?
Shlok sighed: Dekho Astha...
Astha was adamant: I do not intend to give up my independence just because you chose to get even by tying the knot. My decision is made. Let's face it, we don't have a marriage anyway, so I have all this free time.

Shlok was about to say something but she continued on.

Astha: I offer this deal. We will live like two...room-mates. You do you work and I do mine. No need to waste time pretending to be a good Agnihotri bahu. Good? So, I will leave it to you to explain to your parents.

Astha sat back, done with her rant. Shlok was looking at her quietly, his eyes cooled, finally he looked down.

Mission accomplished, she smiled to herself.

Can't wait to hear what you thought while reading this part. This was an experiment for me. Did it work? Comment and like please!

Chapter 7 and character sketches: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/94333884

Edited by Marybarton - 11 years ago

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Shreya

@Secret_Giggle

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#257

Very well done Astha.

Superb update.

Edited by SHINYSHREYA - 12 years ago

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Amanda D'Souza

@amandadsouza95

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#258

@Marybarton: The update was awesome.😊

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Serviana

@Serviana

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#259

"Astha: You know, I think I might have just been infatuated with you. It was not love. Otherwise, how could I just snap out of it overnight?"

" Astha sounded thrilled: It means I haven't had a first love yet! I am yet to meet him!"

I would sooo love to hear these dialogues in the show too!!!!👏😃

Loved this update!!! Thanks!!!

Edited by Serviana - 12 years ago

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@rbb1

Elite

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#260

wow that's great thank you for the update, it's nice he went down with her and gave her ice-cream. I felt so sad for her when her mum called, atleast Shlok noticed she was missing her family and home. Can't wait to read your next update

Edited by rbb1 - 12 years ago

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FF: War Path (Aslok fight it out) - Page 26

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