Smita,😊
Here is the interpretation for Section 1 of Part 17.
This update is about defense
or protection, BULWARK.
On the Diwali
day Arnav and Khushi, both were very busy, with Arnav trying to wind up his work as
quickly as possible to return home to join the festivities, his and Khushi's
first Diwali together, and Khushi
running after the caterers and the decorators to get the house all decked up to
look gorgeous, with festoons of flowers, greens and fairy lights. The house
needed to be all spruced up by the time the guests arrived. The diyas she had made had dried just fine
and were hand-painted in glowing colors each colorful than the other that would
bring in a colourful, lyrical, dramatic quality
into a vast, unquenchable litany of lights when lit. They were
stacked in trays, waiting to be lit. She ran from one part of the house to the
next, making sure that everything was done and ready by evening. At RM she was
the mainstay, moving
quickly like the mercury looking into various things that needed to be done.
When it was the time for the festivities to begin, at dusk, Arnav and
Akash
entered in
to the house, and saw Nani, Payal, Di and Mami in the hall, all immersed in giving the last minute touch to
the already decorated room and Devi
Maiyya's idol for the evening pooja
and festivities. Arnav saw all the ladies of his family there sans Khushi. Leaving
Akash to join the family, Arnav walked away in search of his wife. He found
her in a corner, sitting all alone by a huge rangoli design. She looked extraordinarily beautiful to his eyes, in
an ordinary purple suit with her hair plaited as not to hinder her in her work.
Her face was a picture of focus and concentration as she sieved the colours
evenly filling it into the design. As he watched, she finished her work and heaving
a sigh of relief stretched her back. His face was filled with happiness to see her
beautiful art of rangoli. Arnav
eagerly smiling took an eager step towards her, but the smile died away
and his feet halted at the look on her face in an unguarded moment. She looked
lost, scared as she looked around the dimly-lit hall, for she was haunted by
the images of last Diwali. In her mind's
eye, she clearly saw the guests milling around, she in her red sari that was actually
meant for Lavanyaji, the sugar-free sweets she had lovingly made for Arnavji,
the very sweet with which she had fed him while congratulating him on his
decision to get engaged to Lavanyaji, the abyss of pain she had sunk into as he
had held Lavanyaji close to him and looked at her with a triumphant gleam in
his eyes as she stood by the pool, her visage a picture of devastation, feeling
like the lone survivor after the devastating typhoon, left alone again, adrift
in a strange no-man zone, rudderless, abandoned, pain feeding on her
mercilessly as she had submitted to a ruthless fate and a puppet in the hands
of a cruel man who had played with her feelings and humiliated and all torn up
inside. For her RM was like a fortress,
that held both bitter as well as sweet memories, the memories that protected as
well as had slayed her through.
Seeing the haunted and persecuted expression on Khushi, Arnav swallowed
hard, cursing himself and his thoughtless behaviour at the time of the previous
Diwali, which was purely despicable. He
had behaved abominably selfish and then had stood tall making her congratulate
him, lording over her hurt with a challenge thrown silently with his eyes. He
had been under the misconception that he was safeguarding his heart and his deed on that day was a
justifiable part of defense.
He had hurt Khushi first and then Lavanya for no fault of theirs. His
cowardice, his prejudice, and his blindness had set all three of them on the
path to destruction. If only he had enough sense then to give in to his love
for Khushi, acknowledged his love for her at least to himself, he could have
spared all three of them much anguish rather than going through the whole
rigmarole. But, he knew he cannot unring a bell.
Khushi heaved a sigh, feeling herself tremble after her short visit to
the ghastly incidents and the harrowing past. She had pushed the memories under
the carpet for months, suppressing them each time they came to the fore. But a
year back on this day, the day when it was the festival of lights, that was
meant as a celebration of the going from the tunnel of darkness to towards the light;
she had plunged into darkness, for she could not find a source of light that
could lead her out of the nebulous darkness that enveloped her. Amidst the
circles of light all she could see was the shadow being cast that was sucking
her into it. These bitter memories were proving very hard to control, were very
adamant in raising their heads to destroy her peace. For her it was like
standing on the parapet.
One side it was the bitter memories of the past that were trying her to pull
down into the precipice and on the other side, Arnavji's face and his care of
the present pulling her towards his ocean of love. She knew where she wanted to
be, in the present and not the past. Khushi shut her eye, as though she could
shut them out with her eyes closed and willed herself to come out of those
melancholic thoughts. Arnav stood watching her with his heart in his mouth. She
pepped herself that it was over. Clenching her coloured fingers into a
tight fist, as an outwork
against the onslaught of these memories, she repeated to herself that it was over,
it was a bad phase that will not visit her, it was finished. When she accepted
Arnavji as her husband she had accepted his past too. She could not hold it
against him. She could not judge him by his past record for he too was in the
present just like her. She reminded herself that Arnavji had changed; he now
loved her very much and was her husband. Lavanyaji was settled in London now
and with Devi Maiyya's blessings hopefully
she was leading a happy life. Last Diwali
was in the past, a nightmare that had to be forgotten if she had to go on. She
wondered why let the sadness of the past ruin the happiness of the present, why
rake over the ashes when they now had a new life together, new experiences to share,
many joys waiting in the wings. Khushi looked around. Everything was ready, for
the pooja and the guests invited to
the evening's function. Now all she had to do was shower and dress. Arnavji
would return from office soon, and as a precaution
against him coming to know of the feelings she was undergoing, she had to
present a cheerful face to him, somehow, even if it meant that she had to dig
on her reserves. She needed to get through this night, somehow.
Arnav watched her as she stood up, gathered the paraphernalia needed for
making the rangoli design, and walked
to the kitchen to hand them over to HP to stash away till the next Diwali or discard as he saw fit. Taking a
diya she began lighting them all over
the hall. As she was immersed in her work, she heard a beaming Nani, extremely happy with her handiwork,
calling out to her to come over and check on the decorations she had done on
the Devi Maiyya's idol. Arnav
watched her give a wooden smile as she walked up to Nani, inspected the idol in great detail and hug Nani, praising her for her efforts. Nani seeing Khushi wan asked her,
whether she was alright? She thought Khushi looked a bit pale. Khushi threw her
off the track saying that, it was due to her feeling tired after all the
running around throughout the day. The incorrigible Mami, who was particular about how they look, told her that they
could not have a Raizada bahu looking
wan and tired. She advised her in a loud whisper to take a nap before pooja just like her Mami does to look as fresh as a daisy when the guests arrive. For
Khushi her family was the protection
that would help her to withstand the assault of those bitter memories. Khushi
giving her a smile nodded at her pearl of wisdom and turned to walk up the
steps, not seeing Arnav standing in the shadows of the dimly-lit corner.
When Khushi came out of the bathroom after her
shower, she saw her Arnavji lying on their bed, his arms crossed beneath his
head, looking pensively at the ceiling as though he was mulling over some things
that were distasteful. Khushi seeing him was utterly surprised and trilled,
when did he come home? She had not even been aware of it! She had hoped for
some moments of respite, to dwell on her thoughts all alone and set her mind into
a good frame, erect her shield,
to enable her to pass through the day filled with bitter unwanted memories. She
did not want to treat herself as a victim of the past but as a confident
survivor. She wanted to be able to tackle anything that was thrown at her but
she needed those few moments to recover from the mental assault and school her
face. But luck was not on her side. As she asked, Arnav turned his eyes to rest
on her animated face and asked her softly, what was she wearing that night? She
told him that Di had given her a sari
last week and she was planning to wear it. As she told her voice faded away.
His continued silence prompted her to add that, it was a beautiful piece
embellished with lots of crystals and bead work. As Arnav looked at her
silently, she skittered her gaze away from him, took out the packet and showed
it to him. It was a beautiful sari, with elaborate work done
along its borders and body, a vivid midnight blue, a colour from the other end
of the spectrum, from her red of the previous Diwali. She was buttressing
herself from the unwanted thoughts.
Not wanting him to comment on the sari or suggest that she exchange it
for a red one, Khushi changing the topic asked him, whether he had his tea.
Getting a negative in reply, she smiled and rushed out saying, that she will
get it for him and in the meantime why not he change, as there was just an hour
before the guests arrive. She hurried to be away from his
all-seeing eyes, making the preparation of his tea as her shield. As she entered the bedroom with his
tea, she found it to be empty. Khushi stood looking around and confirmed that
he was not there. Looking at the tea and the nibbles she had brought for him
she wondered, where he was. As her thoughtful gaze wandered around the room, it
met with a sari laid on bed, her blanched face told a story of its own. She had
decided on the blue sari as her redoubt, her stronghold,
fortifying
herself with it. She wondered how did the red sari turn up, when she had left
the midnight blue one over there.
Placing the tray on the low table, Khushi walked to the bed on shaky legs
and plonked down touching the folds of the sari with quivering fingers. The
colour red, that too bright red just like the blood flowing through her veins,
red like the blood her heart had wept last Diwali.
As she was feeling the texture of the sari immersed in her unpalatable
thoughts, the dusk had set in. As it was twilight the fairy lights were
switched on that lit the entire house with its dainty lights making the mansion
look like a bit of the Milky Way filled with red, yellow and blue stars. The
pool side was lit up with the twinkling fairy lights, sparkling and shining,
glistening on the leaves and flowers, lending a veneer of festivity. The red
sari held in her fingers took on an intense hue and grandeur that was
fascinating to her like a snake to a mesmerized mouse it had cornered and was
going to swallow whole. While she was immersed in the sari, she heard a soft
call, Khushi, from behind and as she turned, she saw Arnavji standing near the
door to the poolside. His voice had gone gravelly and huskier than usual as he asked
her, did she like the sari. His poser filled Khushi with
terrible dilemma. She could not find words to express her anguish at his choice
or have the heart to disappoint him with the truth of how she felt. Taking her
usual route of suppressing her emotions and feelings, not wanting to disappoint
him, seeking the strength and support
from her belief, faith and trust in her love, she just nodded, lowering her
lashes to hood her eyes.
In a low tone, as though he were making a promise, as though he were
whispering of his love for her in her ears, he told her, that he loves her in
red. Khushi, murmuring her assent to wear it, rushed into the
bathroom to change. As
she entered the room wearing the sari,
there were two jewel boxes on the bed. She opened them to find a diamond and ruby
necklace, a pair of earrings, and bangles that made brilliant accessories to
the sari. The sari was in brilliant red with crystal bead work done like spiral
chandeliers twinkling and glittering when the light fell on them, looking just
like a strip of group of stars being placed on her sari. The choli at the back was like a crystal
chandelier, the bright red making her fair skin glow. The accessories were just
perfect. She looked around for Arnavji, but it looked as though he had gone
down. She wore them, and went to join the family.
The house looked beautiful, as it had done on Diwali a year back. Lights and diya,
colourful floral festoons emanating their fragrance and the grand dressing of
all the Raizada ladies showing them as belonging to the opulent elite added to
the charm and grandeur of the evening. The family members dressed to the nines
were welcoming the guests.
The Guptas' alone were not present, for
it was the time scheduled for Babuji's
treatment. Garima and Buaji had taken
Babuji to the Ayurveda hospital for a
week's treatment. As Khushi
looked around her eyes seeking her husband, her guardian, she saw Arnavji standing with Akash Jiju and Nanheji at the entrance, greeting their colleagues. Feeling
Khushi's presence and her eyes riveted on him, he looked around and seeing the
vision in red, his breath hitched. She looked beautiful, just like a fairy in red, like a dream, like a
blessing, the folds of her sari clinging lovingly to the full lines of her
figure, his mother's necklace, earrings, and bangles adorning her enchanting
figure. Her silky hair was left unbound just as he preferred it. Her smile added
to her allure. She was smiling at Payal. Only the fear and uncertainty in
her eyes betrayed her uneasiness. Sensing her emotional upheaval wanting to be
her protector, calling
out, Khushi..., he held out his
hand. Khushi with a grateful smile
on her slightly pale face walked up to him and placed her hand in his. He could
feel her fingers trembling. He held on to them, tight knowing he had to lay
many a ghost tonight.
As guests began to stream in large numbers,
Arnav made it a point to introduce
Khushi as his wife to everyone, putting his arm around her shoulders or holding
her arm as and when he could. Some of the ladies gave her a quick once-over,
and went away smirking. After a
while, three ladies came up to Khushi, Mrs. Dubey, Mrs. Mishra and Mrs.
Rastogi. Mrs. Dubey, raising her one eyebrow in an exaggerated arch queried,
was she not the Raizada bahu, Khushi.
When Khushi replied that, she was, with a smile, Mrs. Mishra asked her, can she
get them something long and cool to drink as it was a very hot evening. The
rotund lady fanned herself with her plump fingers, her painted nails flashing
with its brilliant gaudy colour and her face faking a smile. Khushi moving to
the tables set against the wall brought three long glasses of chilled orange
juice on a silver tray, to serve the guests. With thanks, murmured, Mrs.
Rastogi took a deep sip while eyeing Khushi speculatively she mused, that she
had seen her somewhere before, looked quite familiar, just unable to place
exactly where... Her big, cold eyes raked Khushi up and down as though she was
looking at a horse in an auction before bidding for it. Mrs. Dubey spoke out
feeding her the needed information that, she may have seen Khushi, for she used
to be a maid there before she trapped the scion of the Raizadas'. Her malicious
smile was twisting on her lips and the rest had an ugly sneer on their faces, at
the remark while Khushi paled hearing it. Mrs. Mishra added her two bit saying
that, last Diwali, Arnav Singh
Raizada was all set to marry a girl from London, his girlfriend. He had announced
their decision to marry at the party. But wonders never cease, for this Diwali, the London girl was nowhere in
the picture, and in her place was this low-class waif who has made it good. The
lady smiled, flashing her bleached teeth. Mrs. Dubey, addressing Khushi added that, she must let them in to the
secret behind her success. After all, it would not have been easy to move up
the ladder from being a street waif to being maid then to the position of mistress
of the house, all within a span of a year. It would have involved intense
machinations and they would love to acquire this valuable know-how. She smiled,
her eyes glinting in pleasure at the pain on Khushi's face, for she thought the
three had been successful in storming the citadel and churning things with their venomous sharp
tongues.
But it was not to shine for long. Her smile froze hearing, an outraged,
shut up, a hiss from clenched jaws of the Lion, the defender of his Pride and his territory. They were told
that they were his Nani's guests, but
that did not empower them to insult or hurt his wife. If they were incapable of
being civil or having a civil thought in their head, then the only thing left
for them to do was let themselves out through the open front door. The doors
were wide open awaiting their exit. Seeing Arnav's face tightened with anger,
annoyance and determination,
Mami,
Di, and Nani, Khushi's guardian
angels' joined them. Khushi stood in their midst, feeling like a
sacrificial lamb with her limbs quivering. Nani
asked her grandson, what happened Chotey.
But it was Mrs. Dubey who jumped in to answer saying, nothing much. It was just
that her grandson was asking them to leave. As Nani, Mami and Di stared at Arnav, he explained to them
that, the three were badmouthing Khushi... He stated that, no one insults his wife
and gets away with it. His eyes were spitting fire, balls of fury. Mrs. Mishra
offended by his usage of word asked, badmouthing? How can speaking the truth be called badmouthing? Mrs.
Rastogi told that, they were just asking her new bahu how she changed her status from maid to malkin here. That's all and of course, how she usurped the place of
Arnav's girlfriend from London after he announced his plans to marry her last Diwali at a similar party. How can that
be termed as badmouthing Khushi? Mami who
was listening to this fumed and told them without mincing words, that they do not
have to worry about their Arnav Bitwaa's
girlfriend or his wife. They were there to do it, and signed off her statement
with a, Hello Hi Bye Bye! Nani with her eyes gone cold as icicles, and voice, firm and cutting as a
sword, told them that, her Chotey was
right to chide them. She asked them to kindly leave the house if they cannot be
polite to her bahu. Anjali
unequivocally told them that Khushiji is their Chotey's wife, and they were proud of her. They, the outsiders,
need not have to concern themselves with her antecedents or their Chotey's past. Anjali's eyes were like
rotary cannon launching an attack and shelling fire at the three ladies along
with her words. Mami and Nani nodded their support. Nani declared that it was way too high
for them to ever understand how she won Chotey's
heart, because they were incapable of seeing goodness and kindness in others.
Not one to be out beaten, Mami, with
an evil look on her face asked them, what if she started to ask after their
sons and daughters, and their deeds, for there were no barriers to stop her from carrying out her words. If
ever that comes out, they will not be having a place to hide their face. So she
asked them to leave the house, addressing them as, you walking-talking vendors
of gossip. Arnav, Nani, Anjali
and Mami stood as a solid bulwark
against the malicious attack on Khushi. The
three ladies, unable to withstand the assault, with humiliated ego, walked off
in a huff. Nani called out to Khussi bitiyaa and asked her to ignore such nonsense. It was nothing but just
their jealousy talking. She told Khushi that it was time for the pooja and led her away. Arnav followed
hoping to get a moment alone with his wife, but it was just a wishful thinking on
his part that was doomed for disappointment.
In this update
Khushi herself erects certain shields to protect herself
from the bitter thoughts and also protect Arnav from getting an inkling of her
thoughts. Against the outsiders, Arnav, Nani,
Anjali and Mami come to Khushi's defense
and successfully do so. That is what family is all about, to be there when you
need them the most. That is why it is titled BULWARK.
"This is part
of what a family is about, not just love. It's knowing that your family will be
there watching out for you. Nothing else will give you that. Not money. Not
fame. Not work"
~ Mitch Albom, Tuesdays With Morrie
That's it from me. Hope you
enjoy it.
Edited by rulama - 10 years ago
comment:
p_commentcount