MILAN- The Final Destination
PART- 127
I m so so happy that I couldn't feel my own feet n m probably flying😛, hehe. The comments just made my heart swell. Thanks to those who liked n complimented last part n bigger thanks to those who complimented me. Rofl🤣. But it always feels nice to know that people are liking your work. I wish I could reply to each of your compliment separately but after typing this part m kind of drained. So take a collective hug🤗 n Jia's magic kissey to all of you. Muaah.
This part was really tough for me. I edited it several times n m hell nervous. Don't know how it has come out. Hope it's not nonsense.
Only when I reached Hoshiyaarpur, I became aware how cruel fate n life could be.
There was death ceremony going on. All were dressed in white. A high laugh erupted from her mouth. It seemed they were mourning for my heart, my love. I thought that maybe the ceremony was for Daarji. But it was for my parent. I was so very late.
They said mama aur papaji died in an accident but nobody gave me sound details, someone said this, other said that. For god's sake, they were my own parents. I felt like an alien between my own relatives. Then, I had never known them. Mama n papaji's was a love marriage n papaji's family had broken all knots with them thereafter. But papaji loved them. He always called Daarji no matter where he was... Shimla or London. Papaji ke lie ghar pariwaar hi sab kuch tha. But after the marriage papaji ki family ne papaji ko kabhi nai apnaya aur na hi mujhe.
Somebody told me Daarji died a couple of days before that of my parent's death, but I heard people talking that he had died weeks ago. Beeji had also left. They had sent her back before the death of my parents. I was lost, confused n nobody told me anything fully. They hardly smiled to me. I wanted to call Meera or Rajendra uncle or Beeji but no one let me. They said they had already informed them. So I stayed there alone in a joint family.
I was given different clothes because girls there didn't wear western attires as they were deemed indecent. Not that the traditional salwar suits saved me. I wasn't allowed to step out of the house n can only do so if there was some good reason with someone ready to accompany me. Even then I had to first ask four people. Every time I went out Brij veerji would be standing outside with his group of friends n they all made fun of me, passed nasty comments n... leered at me as if... I had no value. I stopped going out.
It was better like that. I spent days in my room counting seconds. Kab din hota kab raat kuch pata nai chalta tha aur phir bhi aisa lagta ke waqt beet hi nai raha.
It felt like something had broken inside me, torn apart. And no more things affected me. Not the fact that my cousins thought I was losing sanity, the taunts n looks. I didn't even want to know why everyone seemed to hate me. And maybe if I had wanted to someone would have hardly taken the pain to explain. It wasn't a home, it was a business company. Everyone had ranks, young girls were lowest then all the married women n then males according to their power n age. You couldn't talk to males directly. For answers there was a long chain. Thank god I had needed none.
I think I was too happy in my little world, inside the four walls of my room. But outside there was no escape.
I couldn't cook. Mama papaji didn't let me at home n there was never a need. And I didn't know how to do any other work too. I was always spoiled n pampered. If I had known everyone would leave me all of a sudden then... I would have learned, I swear. Once, while boiling milk I spilled it n Buaji slapped me, in front of others girls in kitchen. Needless to say I was humiliated. My papaji never raised his voice on me n she slapped me, held my hand told everyone that's how foreign returns were. That being a girl I was a shame n I had attitude, so much, that I didn't want to learn either. I couldn't meet any of their eyes for days.
And... and I always made mistakes. Either the clothes were not cleaned properly or the floor n I always forgot, broke things, cut my hand or something. For every mistake I got double the work. I tried so very hard. I tried to learn, to do better than others girls there who showed me down. I wanted to prove that just because I had spent most of the time in abroad didn't mean I was useless. But I couldn't. I was... useless. There wasn't a work that I could do without messing. It just got worse. My hands used to shake whenever I worked with someone around me or when I went to give food to elders. My concentration was a thin rope that broke with the slightest of pull. Every time guests came they wouldn't let me out because I was so very clumsy. There were no new faces that I saw, no person that I talked to. They talked, cursed n I listened. Words that I used were limited to ji, haan, sorry. With time what I really learned to was to zone their voices out.
My room was the only place that I loved. I kept it clean, dark. Don't know when I started to love the loneliness. I used to hate it earlier, now I savored it. In my room I could sit n think, about him. And mama, papaji. I imagined. Thought about how different it would have been if he loved me, if mama, papaji hadn't come to India n died. After completing our studies he would have asked for my hand n papaji would have happily agreed. Ma-an would... have kept me happy. And... I wouldn't be here alone imagining what could never become mine, living half the time in a world that didn't exist. But at least it was entertaining.
After nearly three weeks of my stay there, Taayiji told me that my marriage was fixed to a good boy. That was all I was told apart from the guy's name. I had seen him a few times. He was one of Brij Veerji's friend. I recognized him the first time he came with his parents to see me because of the way he used to look at me. It's wasn't... nice. His eyes were creepy, scary. She was crying so hard, her words were jumbled. But to Maan they were clear, entering through his ear n directly stabbing his heart.
I didn't want to get married. Not to that guy or any other. I couldn't. Because I was already married.
To whom? Neeraj had spoken after a while n surprise was evident in his voice.
To Maan. Her anger was palpable. He filled my mang, I told you.
But-
What? I was his since then and in that moment he was my Maan. What happened later doesn't matter. Her voice broke as she tried to muffle her cries. I protested for the first time I thought they were actually taking something from me. First time I demanded something. Nai maane wo log. Mera parivar hote hue bhi uhne meri khusi se koi matlab nai tha. They forcefully presented me in front of them. I didn't smile, didn't spoke a single word. Guess, that had meant nothing. And when they sent me with that guy to talk alone. He touched me. On my arms n face. Maan fisted his hand his nails digging in skin as he heard the tinkle of her bangles. She was touching each place while telling. I slapped his hand away and he grabbed my hair, warned me that he wouldn't take my tantrums. You know, it still stings. His touch, I mean.
I wouldn't come out of the room and wouldn't eat. My family... Her voice was sarcastic. must have had enough because Brij Veerji one day opened the door n beat me. Not much to leave marks but enough to keep hurting for a few days. When I still wouldn't agree Buaji came to me n told me all about how a girl wasn't supposed to live at her father's place n how world would talk. So I thought about it and only one thing came into my mind. I sneaked a knife from the kitchen n cut my wrist. That was the first time I did it n it hardly hurt just a sharp pain in start. I would call it rather comforting. I saw the life dripping out of me n the knowledge that it would all end soon n I will die belonging to the man I loved brought me great joy. And maa papaji were waiting on the other side. I felt so good after ages.
But then I woke up. The dream didn't last for long enough. They had called a doctor at home only so the word wouldn't go out, told me they would make my life hell if I attempted something like that again as if my life was any better. They wouldn't let me die even.
One night nobody was at home. All had gone for some marriage. I have no idea if it was intentionally planned. They were my family but they could do anything, they had no conscience. He came into my room-
Who?
The guy they wanted me to marry.
What was his name?
I... don't remember.
Look into my eyes Geet n tell his name. Neeraj words were gentle as always yet firm to make her speak. God! Maan knew how much he wanted to know that bas***d's name. He wanted to beat him dry, give him ten times more pain than what he had given to his Geet. He wanted to kill him n Maan knew he would enjoy every moment of it.
I don't want to.
You have to. This whole thing is futile if you wouldn't at least try to fight the fear.
H..is na..me... she stumbled with her words. Hi..s name.. I don't think I can do this.
Please Geet just a name. He is not here and he wouldn't bother you, never again.
No. He is everywhere. Not when I am awake but when I close my eyes... volume of her words dropped to a mere whisper as if she was telling a secret and her voice was wobbly, she was shaking. He comes to me n tries to... she cried, words shattering bouncing off the walls. He tries to...
I want his name. You have to trust me.
She whispered something which Maan couldn't hear n perhaps Neeraj didn't too. What?
Ranjeet. Ran...jeet. His name was Ranjeet. Geet started again as though she couldn't stop after the line was crossed. He tried to force himself on me. He tried to... How could I let that happen? I fought and slapped him. He slapped me harder, beat me, and tore my clothes. He... he asked if I was ready to marry him? When I said no. He burned my bare back with the lit end of his cigarette. Not once but... I couldn't even scream, my face was pushed into the wall. He asked again n again, his words shouted into my ears, the stench of his breath hurting my senses. I said yes.
Geet you are hurting yourself.
I said yes.
Open your fist.
What would Maan think if he got to know that I said yes? He would... hate me. How could I?
The insanity in her voice scared the hell out of Maan. Shit! Those round scars on her back... they were burn marks. His breath came out in gasps. His muscles tightened with need to hug her, reassure her, to tell her she did nothing wrong. How he wished he could save her, shield her but... it was already done. She was already wrecked. His Geet... she saw all this, went through hell, burned, ruined; no wonder just ashes remained of her.
There was a sound of scraping of chair n then the anxious words of Neeraj. Open your fists. God you are bleeding. Geet had probably dug her nails hard into her skin that her palms were bleeding. Let me bring-
No. Don't. I want to finish. Let me, please.
Neeraj seemed to understand. Maan too knew if she stopped she would never start again. The agony once was more than bearable. I heard them talking one day from outside the door. There were Tayaji and Brij Veerji n other men of the family inside the room. I was passing by but when I heard them talking about my parents. I stopped to listen. The voices were stifled but I heard. Some things I heard and for rest, I put the pieces together. They had killed my parents. It wasn't... an accident but a planned murder. For some damn property.
They had lied that Daarji was taking his last breath when he had already died some weeks ago. And before dying Daarji had left a large piece of his property to papaji. Daarji wasn't happy with his other kids but in his last days he must realized my papaji loved him truly. He always called to check on him n regularly sent money even when he didn't talked to him. May be it was daarji's guilt-or whatever-it brought death to my parents. They lied about Daarji because they knew that was the surest way to bring papaji to India. When they came to India I wasn't with them and my papaji easily trusted people, they all would have fed lies to maa papaji. My papaji transferred everything that was given to him by Daarji on my name. The mistake was he did it in front of them.
I think there plan was to end me with my parents only but I wasn't there n they couldn't wait. They enacted their plan n killed them. After that they called me. Of course they couldn't kill me. Then people would become suspicious with all the deaths happening in the family over the short period of time. There was a clause in papaji will that everything would be mine once I would get married. So they all waited. Waited for sometimes, for people to stop talking, air to calm n then they fixed my marriage to that monster. He was to get certain amount for his sacrifice. Who cared about me? My end was written one way or the other.
They caught me listening outside the door n I didn't try to fake ignorance. I wanted to kill them all and I wanted to hide from them at the same time. If they would have asked once my papaji would have given them everything. But I guess they thought of papaji to be just like them, greedy for green, but what my papaji only wanted was to renew his ties with his motherland, his family. He had plenty of money, he craved for love.
I told them I will tell the whole world what they did. So they beat me n locked me inside the room. That night a servant helped me. An old man who worked as driver for Tayaji and the only person there who ever showed some mercy towards me. He sometimes sneaked food to my room when I was given punishment or beaten. That night he helped me escape. I was wounded n his heart must have melted. I couldn't run but he told if I didn't they would kill me. He gave me some money n dropped me to the railway station. I sat in god knows which train, got off at some unknown place n then I walked out, away don't know to where before I lost consciousness.
I woke up in some hospital, where nurses n doctors treated n questioned me. But I couldn't speak. My mind was blocked and I thought if I spoke somehow they all would find me. I remained mum like a mute person n laid there on bed like a dead body for days without moving. I saw people coming n going, dying n getting cured. There was nothing for me, neither death nor salvation. Until Meera came with Rajendra uncle. Geet's voice was like she was living that moment again. I was... relieved, shaken, blissed out that she had finally come but not a word came out of my mouth n then I saw my reflection in her eyes n the tears there. And I knew what had happened. In just around one month I was killed a hundreds of time and I was beyond repairs.
Neeraj released a sigh like he was also relieved Geet had finally stopped. He started to speak n the cassette ended reel still spinning.
Dadimaa woke up n saw Maan sitting on the floor his head lying beside her feet. Maan bete aap yahan kya kar rahe hai aur... She saw his condition. Kya hua aapko?
Dadimaa... His throat choked. I want to know how you knew Geet was here in Delhi n why you got us married.
Par bete ek dum se- please dadimaa I need to know.
Savita, Geet's beeji told me. We weren't in contact for years but she called in her last days. She said Geet needed you. Humne bhi unhe bataya ke aap akele hai. Apko bhi Geet ki utni hi zaroorat hai jitni ki Geet ko hai. She seemed thankful ready to leave the world in peace. She said Geet was in Delhi only n that I should promise her I would do everything I could to get you both together.
I couldn't see you like that beta and what Geet meant to you was apparent. Your happiness was all I wanted n your happiness was in Geet only. Last time I couldn't do anything when you n Shreya got married but this time I knew what I had to do.
Maan's eyes were teary n heart swelled with emotions he couldn't hold. I never said this earlier Dadimaa, but... thank you.
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