Arakshi fic 'When there are no words' Pt 8 16/02 - Page 14

Originally posted by: Sakuu

Awesome! Loved it, totally worth the wait!! The way arjun broke down was brilliantly written... Glad Sakshi didn't go!

I am really really glad that you feel so. I can't tell you how much your comment meant. Thank you so very much!!

Originally posted by: vidya.anand

Beautiful...loved it!

I am happy that u ended it happily...love u for it!

well i guess we have become used to ur erratic updates now...so pls do continue...

Sachchi?? Thank u!! -hugs-

And glad to know that u r used to my erratic updates!! 😆

Hm... I think I will continue it then! 😃

Originally posted by: princess2507

Wow what an emotional update

I luved it..

Happy ending always make me happy..

Aha... Happy endings make me happy too!! But hey, if I will continue, then you will get a fair share of angst too! So, gear for it as well!

Originally posted by: _Mohabbatgirl_

Hey.. That was brilliant stuff.. Love it!

Perfect way to compliment the imperfect duo..

I've always been a sucker for happy endings and was half afraid you might leave them and us heartbroken.. But well, you didn't..

Yupp.. You must continue, my dear.. I'm signing up for the rest, already..

Thanks for the PM..

I am a sucker as well. Big time!!

As for brilliant stuff, I am not even half as brilliant as you.

Thank you so much for the comment! I can't tell you how honored I feel!

Originally posted by: tinashaleen

Loved it..

Thanks!! 😃

Originally posted by: mital276

And finally..we got an update..please dont do this again dear..

Its difficile to cease our curiosity as yours is a worthy one..

Coming to the update..

Its really a fruition and a comely one..

I must say you are a master of portrayel of inner turmoil..

We can feel each chagrined character as though we are in that position.

Really inimitable and impressive..

Thank you for this heartsome ending as I always believes in

happy endings..

I think its one of the best works I came across until now in this forum.

Keep going...

Oh my! I can't express my gratitude. Seriously!

This by far, made my day! Such generous words.

Thank u tonnes!

Originally posted by: miss_precious

Ironically I actually re read all the 4 parts this morning and voila u updated the next part ... It was so heart reaching... This is a mini ending please update soon... Really wanna read the gradual love story between arakshi x

Haha... I can't believe you read it again! Means so damn much to me!

And I would say it was divine intervention! 😛

BTW read it again. I will update part 6 then!

Just kidding!!

Originally posted by: ll-Shilpa-ll

Hmmm...Imperfect but perfect together. I loved it, I too was afraid we would have a sad ending, but you gave us a happy end, so glad.

Yes, I do want to read more of this beautiful story, because there is so much more waiting to happen, so please do continue.

Thanks for the PM.

Aww... thank u!! And no, I couldn't have done that! Happy endings... I am all for it!

Now, I will definitely continue! The only condition is- don't forget to like and comment!! 😳

Originally posted by: _Nikita_

Awwssmm part

Beautifully written

loved it

plzzz continue sooon

thnx 4 pm

Originally posted by: PoohLover

An update..thank you soo much,was actually missing this ff

It was soo emotional,absolutely endearing...you've wrote it sooo perfectly,each words had something to convey...it was indeed a pleasure to read this update...and yes you better continue this please please..thank you for the update and pm

Me and writing perfectly?? 😳

Awwie... you were missing this FF?? Haye... mujhe diabetes ho jayega!! 😆

Originally posted by: ptuc

Lovely update. Pls don't stop here. Eagerly want to know what happens next

Hm... no worries dear. I am very much continuing! :)

Originally posted by: rafif

pls continue I really want to know what happens

Okie dokie! Will post the update ASAP! Thank you!!

Originally posted by: Aisha.Vashishth

pls dnt stop this story...

i m in love vid it...

felt very bad for sakshi nd arjun throughout th whole update...bt at th end u made up for it...

i seriously wanna read more...

continue soon

love

Aisha

Aisha!!!

Ek Sakshi ki Aisha, and now, I have my own Aisha! 😆

Jokes apart, thank you so much!! And yes, I would update and get you guys all mushy!!

-evil grin-

Originally posted by: Shivi1997

Very nyc

i jst lvd it

at last shakshi came back

arakshi together again

yaar plz continue

udpate soon..

Thank you hon! I will update! 😊

Originally posted by: Rehana25

My heart is nearly stopped when she is finally Start going and arjun not gonna stop her but thanks she's back and ( Jaan may Jaan aa gayi) yeah u should continue that first marriage and then after marriage start love than parenting but please don't take long time for updating I nearly forget this story when u update then I start reading again so u know if gap become long it's lost interest I hope u understand

Hm... I understand sweetie! But the thing is, even people like me have a life, (I know right!) so as much as I would love to write, college and stuff keep me helluva busy. But I will try my best and will do what I can do!

Word of advise, bookmark it... hopefully, you won't forget then! 😎

Originally posted by: Radhika Shah

Great part

Thanks!

"Love to his soul gave eyes; he knew things are not as they seem. The dream is his real life; the world around him is the dream."

~Michel De Montaigne

Part 6: Is it the start of something new?

The moment Sakshi had stepped off the plane; something akin to relief had washed over her.

She did not believe much in destiny, serendipity. To her, it was a highly overrated concept. However, her encounter of the young couple with the baby had somewhat warmed her to it. To fate. As depicted in many a clichd movies, she had taken it to be a sign.

Therefore, irrespective of her mind trying to urge her to move on, to stay put with her decision, she had wavered.

It was the first step to her life altering decision.

As a blow to her already worked up brain, she had called him. He didn't know why. She just did. However, imagine her surprise when instead of his gruff voice, the automated computer voice had informed her that his phone was unreachable. It was precisely at that moment, when fear, prodigious fear had caught hold of her. Various statements starting with "What if" had plagued her. As far as she remembered, he had acted extremely bothered the previous day. One might say devastated even. So, who was to say that he had not done something stupid?

With that thought taking refuge in her mind, she, without wasting another moment, had dashed to the nearest taxi like some madman. Muttering his address to the shocked taxi driver, she had perched herself on the seat, muscles stiff and jaw clicking with anxiety.

Throughout her journey, from airport to his lodge, only one thought had dominated her mind- Arjun.

Squeezing her eyes shut to shake off the worst case scenarios, she had hit his number again. It was still unreachable.

Maybe he was on a case?

Maybe he had gone to some place where there was no network?

Maybe...

Spontaneously, she had hit another number.

"Sakshi?!"

"Hey Shree. Where are you?"

"At home. Why? And hey, aren't you-

"So, there is no case?"

"Uh, no. But why do-

Snapping her phone that very second, Sakshi had rubbed her sleep deprived eyes in circular motion. There was no case. NO CASE.

Thanks to the new piece of information, the next few minutes had passed by with a tense anticipation. She had no idea what to do when she saw him. If she saw him.

Just then, the taxi driver had pulled in front of the modest dwelling and she had snapped from her scattered thoughts, handed him the required money and had shot to his room.

"Arjun?!" Breathless and exorbitantly fatigued, she had knocked on his door, only to realize that the door was slightly ajar. Alarmed by the unusual state of affairs, she had slowly crept inside.

Catching her mouth, she had elicited a gasp at the sobering scene in front of her.

About three feet away, Arjun lay sprawled on his chair, inebriated and decrepit as his crimson blood had strained the floor.

"Arjun?! Damn it, Arjun!! What have you done?"

Dabbing the back of her hand at her eyes, she had walked towards him. Involuntarily. It was like someone else had possessed her body at that second. Thereafter, she had assessed his injured knuckles and simultaneously, pried the bottle from his hand.

Just when she was about to reprimand him for such reckless behavior, he had fainted.

Overcome by a sense of panic and helplessness, she had called Sameer. She could tell that he was surprised as she narrated something along the lines of "The Newspaper Agency has given the job to someone else", followed by her arrival at Arjun's place (She was too stressed out to make up a believable story). If it had seemed bizarre, he hadn't mentioned it and after a laconic spell of silence, he had promised to reach Arjun's place.

Before his arrival, she had quickly bandaged his fingers and had thrown away his bottle. Together, they had placed him on the floor and in a futile attempt, had tried to wake him up. Once that was settled, Sameer had asked her... questions, to which she had given vague answers. Giving her a penetrating look, he had conveyed to her that it was not over. That he would talk about it later. But for the moment, he had let her be. Then, Arjun had woken up and he had promptly left.

...Which brought her to her current predicament.

~.~

The next time Sakshi glances outside, the sky is a vivid spattering of red, orange and yellow hues. It is a surreal sight... as is the man sleeping in front of her. Absently, grazing her knuckles along the expanse of his face, she slides her fingertips from his beard of two days, to his defined cheekbones, to the ridge of his nose, to his chapped lips, to finally land on his creased forehead. She notices then, the lines of struggle that appear on his face. The knitting of brows. The puckering of lips. The fluttering of eye lashes. There is no doubt in her mind that he was having a nightmare. She observes him for a terse moment before brushing her fingertips to smoothen the lines. Almost immediately, the quivering stops and the rise and fall of his chest resume its normal rhythm. She is about to smile at his reaction to her touch when the gravity of her actions sinks in and she instinctively retracts her fingers.

She feels lost. Scared even. Because she knows that their situation is ephemeral. She knows that their unborn child was the only reason why he clung to the frayed threads of their relationship. She knows and yet, her inquisitive gaze lingers on his face, to explore all the nuances that she couldn't normally do. In the four and half years, she had never ever gotten the chance to observe him... without his demons, without his inhibitions, without his permanent frown. Now, watching him, like this, it does dangerous things to her psyche.

She looks away again, to quieten her pounding heart. Though she has made her decision to stay, there are still many things that she needs to question. Things that she needs to ponder. She needs to think about their precarious situation, about her career, about her future. Yes, it would be good thing if she takes out some time to think.

Therefore, easing herself from her position beside his sleeping form, she walks to the door.

"Sakshi?" His hoarse whisper stalls her; half in, half out and she freezes in her place.

Standing at the door, the situation feels oddly reminiscent of the previous night, except for the glaring role-reversal... where she is the one walking out and he is the one doing the talking.

But, unlike him, she turns around and acknowledges his presence. "Arjun."

"You are... you are real. I wasn't dreaming... You s-stayed?" He pushes himself from his lying position to gawk at her, disbelief coloring his features.

Stifling the amused smile, she composes herself, before uttering, "I did."

"Oh."

Silence falls over them like a thick blanket. Silence, which punctuates almost all their conversations. But this is not the silence that they are used to; this is not the awkward silence. This one is different. This one feels different.

He raises his fingertips almost at the same time as a warm blush spreads over her cheeks.

Arjun is surprised when his lips feel sensitive.

"I-uh-we... I mean..."

"Yeah."

~.~

Twenty arguments, thirty two swear words, sixteen rounds of scowling, fifteen minutes of silence, nine episodes of gnashing the teeth and twenty one sighs later, Arjun and Sakshi, reach a mutual agreement.

"I cannot believe I agreed to such insane demands," Sakshi mutters under her breath as Arjun pulls the car out of the driveway.

Unfortunately, the ruggedly handsome cop is quick to catch it. "Insane? INSANE?! You think these are baseless?!" He yells.

"Arjun, don't you start again... Look, I am completely worn out and I would just like to go home."

That effectively shuts him up and he glares at nothing in particular, before gnashing his teeth. AGAIN.

~.~

The next half an hour passes in relative silence and calm. Usually, the drive from his lodge to her place takes excruciatingly long in operating hours. But it is way past midnight (their bickering had ensured so. Also, packing his belongings took its own time, though the luggage hardly qualifies as someone's "belongings") and as a result, the city life has somewhat come to a standstill. Not exactly though- there are still taxis running about, hordes of people lying or squatting on the streets, and handful of cars consisting of families or teenagers returning from parties or God knows where. Still, in her opinion night time is different. The air is not heavy with smoke or dust, there are no traffic jams and this is the only time of the day when she can actually poke her head out of the window. Ha!

With that thought, she lowers the window shield as a gust of wind billows at her face. Her remaining anger starts to ebb away, safely tucked at the back of her mind by then. She feels her muscles unwinding and closes her eyes as a contented sigh escapes from her lips. The fresh air wafts into her nostrils which she breathes in with a greedy flare. This. Yes, she needed this. A moment of peace. A second of calm.

"What are you doing?" His skeptic voice wakes her before she narrows her eyes at him in a way that is so typical of her. Though she is surprised at his ability of initiating a conversation (four years ago and he barely looked at her, let alone speak) she continues glowering at him. He glowers back in response, probably for the sake of normalcy, but by this time she again closes her eyes, smiling lazily. Four years with him and his poker face doesn't matter anymore. Rather she likes to think of it as his "constipated look."

She huffs a laugh at the last statement and he again gives her one of his looks.

She laughs louder.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Nothing... I just... Four years back you ignored me and now, you are easily bothered by my reactions." She gives him a cheeky grin, pulling the window shield all the way down.

He is silent again, most likely affronted by her comment and she knows that he will ignore her now. But, as unpredictable as he can get, he says in a quiet whisper, "I tried... ignoring you... could not."

Suddenly the air inside the car is unbearably humid. And all signs of playfulness are gone from her face. She could swear on all the divine arses in the world that she, Sakshi Anand, stops breathing even. And as much as hates to admit it, her heart wildly hammers inside her chest.

His gaze is locked on the road, his face devoid of any emotions, and she relaxes a little when she realizes that he was oblivious to her sudden breathlessness. Before she feels something that she should not, she blurts, "D-do you regret it Arjun? Our child? Do you think it was a mistake?"

Although she cannot see his face, she can make out the tell tale signs of his internal struggle. The clenching of steering wheel. The clicking of jaw. The bunching of the muscles in his arms. Four years of working with him and six months of knowing him intimately had made her privy to his working... He clears his throat before responding.

"I am not going to lie, Sakshi... When we- when we started this-this thing, I really didn't know why I came back every day. Why you let me. Why we let it continue for the last six months... I don't know, okay? I don't know if I regret it or not..."

He sighs, his shoulders sagging on the steering wheel. He is still looking ahead, and she almost feels stupid that she is staring at him unabashedly. Her eyes start to water a bit later, and she has to tear away her brown orbs from his face. It hurts. She tries to shrug the feeling away but Gods, it hurts. Sure, he didn't outright accept the fact that he regretted it, still, his I don't know' hardly serves as the answer.

"But, I don't regret our child. No. Not one bit."

Her head jerks in his direction, her eyes meeting his. And oh, it's so intense. So intense that suddenly she can't speak. His eyes are probing, digging into her very soul. In a way that makes her heart throb. She replays his words in her brain, twisting it, molding it. And something warm bubbles at the bottom of her stomach to be replaced with an inane desire to flung her arms around him.

He doesn't think their child is an abomination. He isn't doing this because it's his obligation. He wants this child. Wants him as much as she does. Out of love, not duty. All doubts that had been harassing her mind regarding his reason to keep the child, simply disappear.

Maybe it's not much, but it is the beginning.

~.~

A frown tugs her lips downward as she scans her home'. Earlier, the prospect of returning to her home had felt so normal. Like she had not planned on leaving so many hours before. Like she was simply returning to her home after a tough case. Though now, the bare house unnerves her, making her feel slightly incongruous. The place is stripped of her possessions (except the furniture) and she can hardly convince herself that she lived here.

"What is it?" his tone is tinged with concern, his eyes scrutinizing.

She contemplates whether she should say anything or just keep quiet. Deciding that she should do the former, she mutters, "It feels different. It doesn't feel like-

"Home?"

She nods her head.

"I think you need to sleep. It's very late."

She wants to snort at him, at his bossy tone, but it is indeed late. Her brain has already suffered too many blows, she doesn't know if she can take any more. So, instead of trying to argue, she walks towards her bedroom, with him closely following behind her heels.

Once she is comfortable under the mountains of blankets, he says, "If you need anything, call me."

At this, she blurts, yet again, "You wouldn't sleep here?"

If he is amused at her question, he doesn't show it. Rather giving her a once over, he is about to close the door when she quickly pipes in.

"I miss it, you know."

His eyes widen momentarily, his eyebrows touching his hairline. She is confused by his reaction and then it strikes her. A blush forms at the implied meaning of her confession.

"Not that..." Okay, that too. But she is not going to admit it. No way. Perhaps, as much as she remembers this is the third day in continuation when she does not have-

"Then?"

She is a bit distracted at the wanton images flashing through her mind. "Uh... yeah... I... I miss the talking. You know when we simply talked and nothing else. It felt..." normal.

She thinks or rather hopes that he would say something. But he doesn't. He simply stares at the distant wall, before nodding at her once, and then closes the door.

She heaves a sigh. She had hoped too much.

His lack of response reminds her that he is a mysterious man. A man with a wall around his heart. A completely f**ked up, yet heart wrenchingly beautiful man. A man who made her feel insecure, vulnerable, scared and still, she craved him.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

It also makes her wonder why he did talk to her sometimes. Sure, they were handful and mostly accentuated with long spells of silence. And not to forget, she had her monthly. Yet, she can find no reason-

Was it the silence? Did the silence feel too suffocating? Or was it the darkness? Maybe the darkness was too harrowing, too overpowering that it compelled him to speak. Or maybe she is wrong and the darkness was soothing to him. For darkness has the power to rob your senses, to trick you into believing something that it not, and in his case give a false sense of security so that he could always assume that he was alone. Not with her. Rather with her.

Was that the reason their lovemaking sessions were shrouded with darkness? So that he didn't have to see her?

Coming to think of it, she remembers the moonlit night with the light flickering on his face. She remembers clearly that his eyes were shut. Clenched shut. He just did what he had to. And he never stared at her. Not even once.

How used she had felt then. How horrible.

Nevertheless, she had continued with it. For howsoever he thought her to be someone else, it was not. She was the one he came to every night. A niggling part of him must have been aware that it was her. Not her. That was why their trysts were so animalistic, so primal, so rough. He would have been gentler, she is sure, if he believed her to be her.

Then, why?

Maybe she will never know.

~.~

The morning comes way too soon for Sakshi's liking. Last night she had barely managed three hours worth of sleep. She had, like the last two nights, twisted and turned in her bed. Another night and she could be classified as a person suffering from insomnia. Hm, she should discuss it with Arjun.

Wait... Arjun?!

She had completely forgotten about him!

Cursing under her breath, she reaches for the door, almost toppling over the scattered mess of the blankets on the floor, a vortex of questions raging in her mind. Was he there? Was he gone? Did he eat something? Did he leave for ETF? What day is it? What time?

"Arjun? ARJUN?" She searches all the rooms starting from the drawing room to the bathroom. He is nowhere. Nowhere and she is on the verge of hysterical when he steps out of the kitchen, two cups in his hand.

"Arjun..." it leaves as a sigh, respite surging through her in waves.

"Are you okay?" He cocks his head to a side.

She rakes her eyes through him then. All of him. Wearing a cut sleeves shirt and a pair of jeans, he looks so laid back. His hair a charming mess on top of his head. And it is so different than the arrogant cop that it almost feels like a dream. A beautiful dream. He stayed, he stayed... It takes all of her self control to NOT pounce on him.

She flushes at the sheer incongruity of her thoughts.

Clearing her throat, she says, "You know, I was searching for you. IthoughtIwasdreaming... I didn't think-

And stops. And then, squeaks.

In her haste to locate him, she didn't notice the changes in her flat. Now that she has, she retraces her steps, her eyes darting back and forth throughout as she opens several drawers. Her flat has been arranged in exactly the way she remembered it! Amazed, she turns around to find him standing behind her.

"H-how did you? I mean... I... wow," she stutters incoherently, her hands forming a knot in front of her.

And awe-inspiring it was, because in a span of a few hours, her flat felt like her home again. Much to her astonishment, each and every item that she called hers' was neatly placed in its respective places. Even her underwear!! (She blushes furiously at that.)

Only one thing was amiss- the idol of Lord Ganesha that she kept on the nightstand.

She should be angry though. She should be really angry for invading her personal space like that. Just because they were having a baby together it didn't entitle him to touch her things, especially her underwear! Also, he was prowling in her bedroom yesterday! Bedroom... while she was asleep! How dare he?!

Yet she cannot. She cannot bring herself to be angry at him. Because as twisted as it sounds, it was the sweetest thing he had ever done for her. He must have noticed how out of place it had felt to her yesterday, which was why he did it. He stayed up all night so that she could have some semblance of normalcy. He thought about her! How can a person begrudge that?

"Thanks," she says before she can think too much... Thanks because he stayed. Thanks because he was awake all night for her sake. Thanks because this situation doesn't feel so foreign, so strange anymore. Thanks because he could have said things, he could have done things, and yet he didn't. And most importantly, thanks because he accepted their child. She hopes that this one word suffices for everything that he has done so far. After all, words have always been powerless in their context, so she hopes that he can dig for the unspoken words. And looking at those eyes, those deep, hypnotic eyes, she knows that he gets the drift.

There is a slight change in his posture and she is sure that he is about to say something... when he is rudely interrupted and someone rings the front doorbell.

"Sakshi?!" Ayesha's voice booms from the porch the next second.

Shit!

Next: Part 7