A pregnant pause. Then,
"Sakshi, I know that you are there. Open the door already. Or God
forbid, I am gonna burn this house down."
Sakshi cringes at Ayesha's shrill, increasingly impatient voice.
In her periphery, she watches Arjun staring blankly at the door, his jaws
clenched. She literally feels his mind running thousand miles an hour.
As another knock ricochets in the halls of her house, she whispers
frantically, "What should we do now?"
He responds promptly, his stance agile, with a deceptively calm voice.
"Open the door."
"W-what?! Bu..."
"Trust me, Sakshi."
His eyes seize hers and some of his conviction seeps into her
body. She trusts him. Of course she does.
Therefore, taking two calming breaths, she sprints towards the
door, a knot of apprehension in the pit of the stomach. Just before opening the
door, she pauses, closes her eyes momentarily and turns the doorknob.
"Hey, Ayesh."
Features slightly ruffled, the woman in questions scowls at her
for good measure.
"What the hell took you so long?"
She visibly winces.
"Look, Aye-
"No, you look. I called you in the morning to ensure you have
reached safely. But guess what? It goes straight into voicemail. So, thinking
that you might have contacted Sameer I call him. And surprise, surprise, he
tells me you didn't leave at all. Apparently, the news agency you wanted
to work with has hired someone else. So much happened and I get to know now?
NOW?" She finishes breathlessly, her visage contorted.
Shit, shit. Why didn't I call her yesterday?! She wracks
her brain for an excuse, but her brain simply draws a blank. She has to think
of something. And fast.
"I am sorry. I was consumed with other thoughts," she blurts the
first coherent words that form in her brain.
Her excuse seems to have worked because her friend's expression
undergoes drastic transformation and she asks her in soothing tones, "Are you
okay?"
Still, for a moment Sakshi is struck speechless. Because despite
her justified anger, she is worried about her well being... She must
have done something really good in her previous life to have ended up with such
a friend.
"Yes, yes. I am fine... the baby is fine too."
"Oh thank God. Do you have any idea how worried I was?"
"I know and I am sorry." She mumbles. She feels guilty for not
telling her yesterday and for lying to her now but before some of her guilt
crosses her face, she pulls her in a warm hug.
As they part, Ayesha quips, "So? Are you going to strand me here
or can we go inside? It's chilly here, you know."
Biting
her lip, Sakshi fiddles with the hem of her dress. She had been stalling her so
he could devise some plan, most probably skulk at some corner of her
house. However, sensing that she cannot stall anymore and in the meanwhile
hoping that everything will work out, she sighs and moves aside to open the
door wider, her back turned towards her house all the time.
However,
the very next minute, her friend gives a start, her mouth agape.
"What
is it?" She frowns at her friend and pivots on her heels when-
When
she finds the Devil standing in the middle of the hall.
She
halts, her eyes widening in disbelief.
No
one speaks a word for a whole minute.
"Ayesha."
Arjun gives a curt nod, finally, finally breaking the ensued silence.
"Sir."
In
an instant though, she turns towards Sakshi, clutches her elbow and hisses
sharply, "Explain" all the while her eyes studying him surreptitiously.
"Sakshi
called me an hour ago. Said she needed some help. As I was in this area, I came
here to help." It is Arjun who speaks, his tone carrying a hint of smoothness.
"Oh."
Ayesha hastily removes her hand and blushes hard. "I am sorry," she adds.
"It is o-okay," Sakshi replies,
inconspicuously shooting daggers in his direction. It hits her then that Arjun
had changed to his work clothes- a crisp salmon shirt and denims.
Oh.
Oh.
He
had devised a plan after all.
"Now
that Ayesha is here, I am sure you would be fine, hmm?" He says as he takes
languorous strides towards the door. "In that case, I will take your leave." He
gazes meaningfully in her direction and offering Ayesha a fleeting glance,
walks away.
As
soon as he departs, simultaneous sighs are emitted by the occupants of the
house.
"Well,
that was-
"Awkward?"
"Yep.
Tell me about it."
She
continues, "I was just taken aback, that is. Never in my wildest dreams did I
imagine I would find him here, you know. Sorry for snapping at you."
"It
is okay, Ayesh." Sakshi offers, still a bit shaken with his brazen and bizarre
move.
"For
a moment there, I thought you were, uhm, sleeping with him or something. And
that's why it took you so long to-
"AYESHA!"
Sakshi gasps loudly, her cheeks flushing.
"What?!
It did look that way."
"Well,
Y-you are wrong." she continues lamely.
"Maybe."
A
beat later, "By the way, what help did you require and that too from Arjun
sir?" Ayesha questions, her visage twisting into a perplexed expression.
"Uh,
uhm, it was n-nothing. I mean, it was something uh, related to some previous
case... yeah."
Ayesha
gives her a long, tenacious look but when she offers nothing further, she
merely shrugs.
"Fine.
Just inform me before dropping a bomb like that. It's not every day when I
expect Arjun Suryakant Raute in your house."
"Noted."
And this time she knows that she means it.
~.~
Sakshi
spends most of her languid Sunday morning engaging in idle chatting with Ayesha
and subsequent visits from the rest of her team namely, Shree, Chotu, Sameer
and Liza. As anticipated, they ask her numerous questions. Thankfully though,
her previous night's discourse with Arjun ensures that she could answer most of
the questions tactfully. In fact her answers are so carefully worded that the
detectives are unable to discern any fabrication.
Assuring
them that she would attend to her duties the next day itself, her teammates
take leave...
It
is only later in the evening when she hears his footfalls.
"Hey."
He offers her a slight nod.
"Hey,"
she murmurs, putting her novel down. She notices the sluggishness in his step
and a hint of uneasiness in his posture.
However,
before she can point it out, he walks towards her and sinks gracefully on the
couch.
"Where
were you the entire day?" she inquires, angling towards him, once he had
settled down.
"I
had some work."
"What
work?" she asks again, her innate curiosity getting the better of her as usual.
He
grits his teeth, the sign of his reluctance telling. "I had to clear certain
unpaid dues."
"Oh."
One
minute. Two minutes. Three minutes.
Just when the silence seems too stifling, Arjun speaks up. "H-how
was your day?"
Her eyes widen in disbelief as a pleasant tingle courses through
her body. In the time she had known him, he had always refrained from asking
her anything personal. Yet today... it is indescribable what it did to her.
As
expected, he feels a bit abashed when she faces him fully and she can tell that
it took almost all of his strength to ask her something as trivial as that. And
while a part of her knows that he simply wanted to break the silence, because
when you aren't screwing around, conversations happen at the expense of it
being coerced, the other part is thrilled with his effort, nonetheless.
"It
was-was good. I mean, after you left, the rest of the team came to inquire
about my impromptu decision to stay, but I convinced them and I guess it
worked."
He
shakes his head, absorbing the tiny bits of information. Abruptly though, she
remembers the incident in the morning and consequently, she lashes out before
she can convince herself to do otherwise, her tone low and foreboding, "By the
way, what the hell were you thinking in the morning?! Pulling a stunt like
that!"
"About
that-
Disregarding
his interruption, she rambles on. "I thought that you would hide or run or I
don't know but that?! Standing there in the middle of the hall so early
in the morning when she knows that I am pregnant and she would obviously jump
to conclusions and-
A half smirk, half smile tugs at the corners of his lips and she
freezes in her tirade, too distracted to continue.
"You thought that I would hide? Do you not know me?"
Her
retort dies on her tongue as she takes a sharp intake of breath, all the blood
pounding on her ears.
Gods,
he was beautiful.
Her
face must have given away her awe with him because within a split second he
averts his gaze, allowing her to do the same and when he looks back at her; all
the traces of his demi-smile are gone to be replaced with his perpetual frown.
Call it wishful thinking but she wishes to freeze that moment forever, or at
least capture that perfect moment. That ghost of a smile.
The
next time he speaks, the hard lines on his face reappear and there is harshness
in his brogue. "Look Sakshi, I-I could not have possibly told her that we-
"I
know Arjun, I bloody know," a frustrated growl rumbles from her throat and she
doesn't even make a perfunctory attempt to mask the bitterness. "I know that this
is supposed to be a hidden affair. I never expected you to declare our relationship
status especially..." Especially when even I have no idea what it is.
She rises from the settee then, suddenly too hackneyed to continue
the conversation.
"This won't happen again. We will form a plan to deal with this
situ-
"Because plans work so well for us?" she pivots on her
heels, crossing her arms, her lip curling in derision. "You cannot be serious
Arjun. Because we CANNOT plan this. Hell, when have things gone the way we
planned. If things worked the way we plan it then we would not-
It is the defeated slump in his shoulders which makes her falter
before his weary timbre reaches her.
"I am trying, you know. I am aware that this situation is hard for
you; to lie, to hide things from your friends, but I am trying to help."
Something akin to guilt swarms her way to her throat and her
conscience pricks at her for being so callous. The truth was she knew that he
was trying. He had stayed the night and he had asked her about her day. While
these might be frivolous to others, yet for her, it did serve as a proof to his
proclamation.
"I know. I am just saying that we will figure this out when the
time comes." She falls back into the couch and her fingers press against his in
a feathery caress. Licking her lips, she continues, "I know it is hard for you
too. Maybe harder than me, considering that you have to care for a person whom
you don't care-
It's profound. Poignant. The way his face falls, the way his eyes
swirl with bereavement, the way his fingers recoil from her touch, it is so
eloquent of the agony that he felt. The guilt, the guilt returns with
vengeance, consuming and stabbing her being. The remorse that she felt earlier
is nothing, nothing, compared to this. She had simply stated the fact,
with the detachment that is typical of a journalist, there was no hard edge to
it, no acrimony. She knew that he didn't care about her and that was it,
really. There were no underlying emotions to it. Simple.
But she knows it was not that simple. Not when he looks like he
would shatter into a million pieces, not when he seems so distant. So distant.
Gods, it is pure agony. And she desperately wants to take back her words if
only to alleviate his pain.
"I care about you. I do," he whispers and it is so soft, so soft
that she would have missed it if she was not paying attention to him. He
continues, unaware of her persistent gaze,"It would matter to me if something
happened to you. And it is not only because you are pregnant with my child."
This time, the silence that befalls them is heavy and thick. His
words floating between them like static defiles the air with its immensity. And
it is as profound, as poignant as the silence.
~.~
She doesn't remember how long they remain in the same position or
how long they delve in their conflicting thoughts. All she remembers is moving,
moving, easing herself from her position and gliding to her bedroom. She
remembers that before stepping inside she had murmured, "Why are we so f**ked
up Arjun that we can't even tell each other what we feel." She also remembers
that she had not expected a reply, so she had closed the door behind her.
And now, she can't remember if Arjun did speak those words or it
was her mind playing some cruel trick.
"I don't know, Sakshi. I wish I knew."
(To be continued..)
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