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Part 59
Itne saalo se itni mein bekhabar thi
(I was so lost from many years)
Naa jane apne hi khialo mein ghum thi
(I was lost in my own world)
Jab yeh nanhi jaan(dev) meri zindgi mein aayee
(since dev has born)
Kisi ke mere paas hone se bekhabar thi mein
(I never felt presence of anybody else around me)
Woh hamesha mera saaya bana raha har modh pe
(he was beside with me like my shadow)
Uske harr modh pe hone ke ahsaas se bekhabar thi mein
(i was unaware of his presence around me)
Ab mere hi ansh(dev) ne mujhe yeh ahsaas dilaya
(now dev has made me realize)
To samajh mein aayaa ke ek bhram mein thi mein
(then i came to know that i was living in fantasy)
Naa jane kitni baar maine use(maan) dukh pahunchia
(I don't know how many times I hurt him)
Kyunki us ki tadap, uske dard se bekhabar thi mein
(because i was unaware of his craving his longing)
Ab samajh mein nahin aata kya karoo, kasie karoo
(now i don't know what to do and how to do)
Ke woh samajh jayee uske (maan) bager kuch bhi nahin mein
(so he understands that i am nothing without him)
by jasraj123
thanks loved it dear
she looked jealously .. and brokenly, .. almost crippled from his loneliness, and from the force of something in her that belonged only to him. She wanted him , fiercely and tenderly .. those eyes, his hands, his skin, her body cried out in anguish. Lust as she had never imagined seized her , lust to possess all of him .. she shivered , just as she heard his car return.
She immediately hid the pics, wiped the tears that had left trails on her cheek. She set her face & ran down.
Maan walked in with the mails in his hand. He put them on the table. When he saw his wife running down the steps. He gave a warm smile like his day had just freshened up totally seeing her. Her heart was beating so wildly, she wanted to just hug him tight right now.. & there she tripped & landed right in his arms. To face his angered tone of concern
maan - dehk nahi chal sakti
asien bhi kya jaldi hain
dev ke practice ko time hain
maan - dehk nahi chal sakti
asien bhi kya jaldi hain
dev ke practice ko time hain
dev came out his room hearing his dads voice. He rushed to get an ice pack, to sooth Geets leg. Maan gracefully carried her to the couch.
Oh my my.. she had that cute tickling sensation in her stomach being carried in that typical bridal way. Her eyes were glued at him, his eyes that were so negating his angered tone. The dark eyes looked so much concerned & worried.
She hesitated when he reached to check her ankle. She was shy & above that, every touch of his today was making her blush & feel something something. She was feeling so conscious behaving & feeling that way. Especially infront of dev it made her feel more awkward.
He bit back the hurt that was part of their life. He was used to her refusal. He let Dev step in & help her. She instantly realized her shyness was not wat he felt. He felt it as refusal. With pang the reality of 100s of such refusals of hers in past played back in her mind. How he silently stepped back not saying anything just absorbing the hurt. & she miserably had failed to see those eyes that turns away hiding their hurt.
She held his wrist to confront those eyes.. only find that disguising smile yet again
Maan - main tum haren liyen garam garam chayen banatha hoon
adrak wali he spoke softly reassuring her
making her break down completely.
Maan - main tum haren liyen garam garam chayen banatha hoon
adrak wali he spoke softly reassuring her
making her break down completely.
She cried & ran to up the steps limping, trembling.
Maan & dev both reached to help her but she was too hurt, hurt seeing her own reflection of ignorance of all these years. She slammed the door at them & sunk down on the floor
dev looked at dad ' kya huwa dad?
Maan looked back at him confused bit worried ' she was hurrying down to get ur snack
he looked down t steps
Maan ' I guess she tripped over t steps
dev looked at dad ' kya huwa dad?
Maan looked back at him confused bit worried ' she was hurrying down to get ur snack
he looked down t steps
Maan ' I guess she tripped over t steps
Geet only muffled her cry hearing Maan. He didn't even seem to expect anything from her. Not even a hug.
Maan made the tea & went to their room. He knocked at the door couple of times & then just went in to see her sitting down next to the door all cuddled up.
He placed the tray next to her ' dehko I made samosen for u
she hugged him & cried like baby.
He tried to console her, calm her. Her tears ripped something in him from day one. He couldn't bear to see her like this.
He could feel something different but brushed it off as his insanity to even think in those line. He knew she was disturbed with Dev leaving. He had to be there with her even more.
The couple of days had passed with Geets failed attempts to express herself. In all not realizing she was only giving Maan an impression that she was getting sad & depressed with Dev leaving. Maan understood that all the mishaps & mess was out come of her anxiety.
One thing worked to their disadvantage was Maans inner turmoil, it was like some one is playing with his sore open wound. He could never see tears in her eyes & all he saw day in & day out was tears.
He wanted to shout at her.. tell her, their life was not to end with Dev leaving. They had lots more.. devs becoming a dr, his job, his marriage.. his babies.. so many thing so look forward to. It all had to start some where.. some where with Devansh starting his college & then moving forward.
The thought them.. their life together was never a concept now in his mind.. he knew it never would matter to her. Her happiness was only in Devansh.
For him it was enough that she was happy. He was happy he could be there for her. He was happy he walked along her. So wat if she never acknowledged that. But the fact remains they were together. He was happy just being there with her for her. He had coped to live his life with that.
He looked sad.. yes there was this sadness.. that was because of that void in his heart. How much he tried to be happy & enjoy, deep down there emptiness was eating him. He never had a companion in true sense. He had tried to open up to Geet initially but her coldness just pushed him back into his shell. But now this aloofness, this loneliness, this emptiness is his life. & this constant fight of his against it made it even more vulnerable.
He had no complains with geet until recently as she has began to keep herself so unhappy. It was only proving him a failure. It was only making him feel dejected. He even tried to make arrangements so that she could spend more time with dev. But it only fired back as mam was not able to bear a min away from him, which he was yet to discover.
Yet another attempt of Geet to do something for their love. For their togetherness. She had tried to cook, plan dinner, cook paratas.. but nothing worked.
Aapne dilke haaton majboor hoken
yeh bebasi na sambalen..
she decided to wear a sexy night wear which was not to mention one of silliest idea that Dev gave on very different contest the other day. But this Geet was desperate to break this barrier of unspoken sadness that lingered for ever between them.
yeh bebasi na sambalen..
she decided to wear a sexy night wear which was not to mention one of silliest idea that Dev gave on very different contest the other day. But this Geet was desperate to break this barrier of unspoken sadness that lingered for ever between them.
She reluctantly wore black night dress. It was falling until mid of her thigh more revealing than it could conceal. She was nervous & shaking. Her heart was trembling. Worst she had read his ques to a promising night before she walked intto the wash room. She stood infront of the mirror & checked herself couple of times. She had never worn anything like this before. For a moment she thought for just change into her usual attire & confront him. This all idea of dev seemed so stupid. Wat was she even thinking his words so literally.
Dev had causally commented looking at this night dress other day in the mall.
Dev - umm.. now this is was a girl in love should wear for her sweet heart.
wat say mama? he winked
geet looked the manqu & forced him to walk away
Then Geet ignored it totally. But after so many failed attempts to speak her heart out to her husband she decided to surprise him with this dress.
Maan checked on her little while in concern & little anxiety. Geet got tensed yet again thinking of keeping him wait, when he had cutely dropped his ques.
She slowly turned the knob & stood their reluctantly for few secs before stepping out fully. Maan knotted at his brows & looked at the door. He was taken back seeing her milky slender legs shakily emerge out. He looked away in shame.
He was bit disturbed with his own thought.. may be she needed help with something & feeling shy to ask. He respectfully looked at her direction only to see her uncomfortably standing wearing that crap. Her hands were crumpling the ends of the dress pulling it down if that was possible.
Her heart was beating as if she was in some marathon. She was cutely nibbling her lips waiting for Maan to react. The room was filled with silence. A killing silence reverberating with an unknown anguish. Geet innocently looked up to see him walk out the room slamming the door behind.
Geet quiet didn't understand, she was hurt, felt humiliated, insulted, she had never felt so naked before. He just walked out on her when she literally threw herself at him. She quickly wore her robe & followed. Her eyes poured. She had cried all this days, tried to mend herself but his refusal she couldn't bear. Did he really not see or feel anything in her efforts. It was such a big move for geet to wear something like that & stand infront of him. She wanted to shout at him yell at him. How dare he!!!
Maan tried to think of all rational reason to understand why she would wear something like this. He could see she is not comfortable. His blood boiled in fury. Not that he would have minded if they shared that kind of understanding. But there were too many limitation to their relation. May be he is thinking too much. She just wore that night dress. Nothing more to it. May be Devansh brought it for her. He was trying to think of reasons to calm himself.
The moment he walked into the basement gym she held his hand.
He jerked it away at once. He had been hurt with her words, with her tears, with her ignorance, with her hatredness.. but today it was all way beyond him to bear it.
Isse aacha, u could have stabbed my heart he spat in hateredness of the sight.
He desired her Yes !!
more than that he worshiped her. Cheap display of her at her discomfort in that night dress was ridiculing the basis of their relation more than that his devotion to the relation, to her, to his love.
more than that he worshiped her. Cheap display of her at her discomfort in that night dress was ridiculing the basis of their relation more than that his devotion to the relation, to her, to his love.
She angrily turned him to face her. He looked away not wanting to look at her exposed self.
Aap aisen kyun kar rahien mera saath she spoke painfully
he lost it completely
he held her arms painfully main? Main kar raha hoon?
He jerked losing the bit composure he had in him
he punched the wall first time in years
she reached to his hand. He snapped at once. Her anger was lashed with her pain, her embarrassment.
Aap aisen kyun kar rahien mera saath she spoke painfully
he lost it completely
he held her arms painfully main? Main kar raha hoon?
He jerked losing the bit composure he had in him
he punched the wall first time in years
she reached to his hand. He snapped at once. Her anger was lashed with her pain, her embarrassment.
Maan - Why did u have to wear such a thing?
He spoke embarrassed
Geet ' I wore it for u
Geet ' I wore it for u
she spoke angrily.
She held his bleeding hand pulling at once
Geet - kya mera aap pe itna bhi haaq nahi?
She questioned that was only hers.
She held his bleeding hand pulling at once
Geet - kya mera aap pe itna bhi haaq nahi?
She questioned that was only hers.
She was never used to expressing her need. She never had to ' he was always there. He fulfilled even before she could feel. Even during her pregnancy he understood her mood swings & acted accordingly. So now to put it in words, expressing it in dress with her heart & being turned down was impossible for her to comprehend.
He was not able to understand, wat she meant & why. It all just indicated her understanding their relation limited to bed like wat Dev said that day.
It was like a doom day for him. He just wanted the world to end right now for him.
He stepped awkwardly back. He felt worse than being stabbed right now. He couldn't even think of asking a question that would demean their relation to this extent. Is that wat she thought abt our relation???
Maan her voice was hurt, angered & threatening.
he raised his finger indicating her to be quite.
Not a word more.. he definitely won't be able to bear it.
he raised his finger indicating her to be quite.
Not a word more.. he definitely won't be able to bear it.
She hugged him at once in tight hold with all her might. She felt she would die if he would have left her like that unloved, uncared.
He didn't have it in him to love her like that .. with that uncertainty in him, though he could feel her need to be in his arms.
He painfully broke the shackles
geet - why r u leaving me like this she spoke helplessly, shamelessly not understanding his reason.
Why r u angry with me?
He stopped at once hearing her broken voice. He had never heard her like this. Like she was losing some battle. She was always a strong person. He definitely couldn't be happy breaking her.
Aapne bhi tho merin liyen...
he turned at once dropping every mask of his pain... choking her at her own owns.
Maan - I came close to u because I loved u
geet ' main bhi tho aap se pyar karti hoon
she spoke out in anger & pain. but it felt so nice.. she told him wat she is been wanting to say in so many days..
geet - why r u leaving me like this she spoke helplessly, shamelessly not understanding his reason.
Why r u angry with me?
He stopped at once hearing her broken voice. He had never heard her like this. Like she was losing some battle. She was always a strong person. He definitely couldn't be happy breaking her.
Aapne bhi tho merin liyen...
he turned at once dropping every mask of his pain... choking her at her own owns.
Maan - I came close to u because I loved u
geet ' main bhi tho aap se pyar karti hoon
she spoke out in anger & pain. but it felt so nice.. she told him wat she is been wanting to say in so many days..
he looked at her searching her eyes. Trying to understand, relate to those words.. his hurt was so deep he smiled sadly
Maan ' how can u love me?
Maan ' how can u love me?
She had expected every kind of turn of events. She had imagined him lifting her turning her around, hugging her, kissing her deeply.. even thought of making love. Never thought he would ask a question like that. Tears just continued to pour from her hazels.
Maan ' tum mujh se pyar kasien kar sakti ho?
She looked at him stunned
Maan ' phelen main tumharen liyen Sam ka BF tha
aab Dev ka baap hoon
issen zyaada na tumne mujhe na samja na jana
then how can u love me?
Why would u love me?
Maan ' tum mujh se pyar kasien kar sakti ho?
She looked at him stunned
Maan ' phelen main tumharen liyen Sam ka BF tha
aab Dev ka baap hoon
issen zyaada na tumne mujhe na samja na jana
then how can u love me?
Why would u love me?
Thanks for the likes & comments
lots of love
muskan
lots of love
muskan
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