Posted:
My decisions my reasons
Guys am nt gona be updating much stuff cause of ramzan am just posting wrk that ive started n is nearly finished
I tried something new hope u like it
Its been two days since ive come back to joudhpur I watched my mum from the second I've come work like a machine. She been around me doing all my work be it unpacking my bag, feeding me, getting my bed ready or bombarding me with question about Mumbai. I observed her very closely watching her very move she finished all her tasks like a professional without making one mistake. As a child I always though she was like a superwomen ive seen her complain about anything instead she always did her work perfect it is one of my dreams to be like her."taani" where are you lost s"nothing" I lied what could I tell my mum"why are you lying I can read you like a book I noticed you've changed a lot""am still the same" I lied again who was I lying to ma but I can't tell her the truth either that every emotion in me is slowly dying."you used to talk a lot know you just listen and don't answer" she answered backI slowly crawled upto her and put my head in her help."so what is it" she asked with the same smile she has always had."ma you had a busniness degree but why did you choose to be a housewife" I asked quietly thinking of all the reason she could possibly give me."why suddenly are you asking me this yoe love the fact am a housewife""just asking"" when I got married I did work with your dad I used to help him with his accounts and other things""But why did you stop""Because I don't reali know myself when I worked I loved working but then slowly I got bored. I still remember your nani use to say no matter how much a girl studies at the end of the end she has to come and make roti. I used to think that being a housewife is very typical until I become.I studied business for many years but its till I got married that I found out that handling or starting a home is the biggest investment in the world. When you were born I invested in you and don't think being a housewife is easy it's a great job plus you get to be with your husband and kids more" I'll show you tomorrow."show me what" I asked"You'll see know sleep""Taani here a pen and paper note everything I do start from woke up at 4.30 am" she instructed and I followed.I followed ma everywhere form morning to start and noted everything she did from making breakfast cleaning, ironing to all the others chores till 10p pm."know look at your list and tell me when when did I get off duty"I looked at her in mere confusion she didn't she worked all day."Being a housewife you don't get off duty your always on duty all day all month all year. Its not a easy job." She spoke very gentlyI felt my heart warm up and hugged her very tight. I thought about her words all night I always wanted to a housewife because that what ive seen all my life I've seen women who work and I have nothing against them.
"Know that your got your answer clean the cupboard and throw out the junk you don't need"I sat in front of my cupboard going through my childhood pics and work somehow through the old memories I was rediscovering my self. The old bubbly taani. I went through my old scrapbooks remembering the lazy days when my bedroom felt like my whole world. I remember I never made an friends my friends were these book and drawing that I brought alive with my imagination. As the night deepened i was also losing my self to in old memories."Why happened to I questioned my slef" I contiounsly asked my self. I walked over the mirror and watched my reflection "this isn't me" I told my self.I lost my self over a boy who dosnt appreciate me for who I am . I stood in from of the mioor cursing my slef on how much I changed ma was right ive changed a lot. I walked over to my dressing table and I remembered as a child I would copy ma while she would get ready and when I grew up I loved getting ready.I opened my wardrobe and started at my old cloths the colourful anarkalis .I walked over to my balcony where I would stand for ages and dreaming about everything and anything. I walked around my room remembering my old self who I really was. I sat on the bed it was know 5 am I have decided I don't need to change my self I am who I am and if rey can't accept that then that's it. I am who I am not that taani who caries am some who always believed in happiness and yes I have always wanted to a housewife. I open the cupboard and took out my best clots I got ready like how the old taani would get ready blasting out the music and dancing like total idiot I didn't care know this me I though an am always going to stay this. If people don't like then that there problem. I took out my diary wrote out my furture plans finish studies and while in Mumbai just be yourself.
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
Anupamaa
Dr Aarambhi
