OS : We always make itThrough

We Always make it through.

Her eyes were sagging, puffy with dried up tears. She was sitting in the dining room, and leaned her head on the table, hoping that she would take a few minutes rest, and not fall asleep completely. She looked at her watch. 10 :30 pm and Asad hadn't returned yet. She fought the urge to continue weeping, although she felt she had no tears left to shed. It had taken quite some time to calm herself and stop her tears, due to which her eyes were now in their current condition.

She remembered clearly. Everything that had been happening for the past month. The fights, the tears, the anger, the stress. She couldn't hide it behind her smiles anymore. It was taking a toll on her. She felt she was losing him daily. She went through tremendous pain in her life, no one but her husband Asad knew it better. But she couldn't, she absolutely couldn't bear even the thought of losing him. The man she loved, the man she could never live without. And here they were, after only 11 months and 29 days of marriage, fighting to keep their love alive.

She reflected on the episode today, the tone he had used with her. The tone that got scarier everyday and made her fear of losing him grow. The loud bang of the door echoed in her ear. It had been 4 hours since Asad walked out and drove off after an overheated argument. Zoya sat, waiting and waiting with dinner laid on the table for Asad to return. She knew that he might not eat but she still hoped and waited.

The only thing worse than her nightmares about her Ammi, was the nightmares she had been having about losing Asad. She would sometimes get up with a jump yelling Nahii as Asad made her give him a divorce. He was oblivious to Zoya's torturous nightmares because, as of this month when the major fights started, they had been sleeping separately.

She was going through an emotional breakdown within herself and felt a numbness throughout her body. Her depression could not be controlled. Her swollen eyes, before she knew it, shut down on her , giving them comfort and easing the burning.

About an hour later Asad returned home. He was much calmer now. He planned to talk to his Zoya. He could not bear what they were going through, he felt as though he was his father's son indeed. Everytime he wanted to get closer to her and make up, he felt he wasn't worthy and would push her away again, only in fear of hurting her more. The sight that met his eyes made fresh tears well up.

His Zoya, sat crouched on the chair by the dining table, laying her head on the table. Her face was wet with tears, and the usually bright and chirpy Zoya was gone. Her face look tensed and immensely sad. Is this what I have cause? He cursed himself. He made his way toward her andsaw the dinner she had on the table for them. He put it into the fridge and went back to her. Gently, he lifted her, trying his best not to wake her. He carried her to her room, gingerly placing her on the bed. He covered her with the blanket and knelt at her bedside. He stretched out his palm, a tear falling from his eye, to touch her face. He hadn't felt her skin in so long. She seemed sick, emotionally and physically. She hadn't been eating well he noticed. She looked pale and his guilt doubled up as he withdrew his hand.

He was about to leave when her pants startled him. He looked to her and saw her panting, a terrified expression on her sleeping face, as she turned her head from side to side.

Her skin was glistening, she was sweating. He went forward and sat on the bed, holding her hand.

'Zoya' he called. 'Wake up, its just a dream' he tried to speak in a calm voice. She woke with a jolt, and crashed herself in his arms.

She bawled and sobbed continuously.

'Please Asad . Don't leave me. I'll change, I'll do anything but I can't bear to lose someone else.' She said coughing up her tears.

He shushed her, passing his hand over her hair repeatedly to soothe her. She gripped his shirt, crying incessantly.'Nahii'

'pleaseee' she clasped her hands together and groaned between her tears.

Asad's heart broke into ten thousand pieces seeing her like this.

He crushed her into him and rubbed her back.

'Calm down, Im not leaving you Zoya, Shhh , its just a nightmare' He kissed her hair and whispered sweet nothings into her ears to pacify her.

She stopped her hysteric behavior after a few minutes and realized their position. She pulled away, and her eyes opened wide.

In the past month they hadn't been that close.

'Are you okay?'

'yes, I'm fine. Sorry to disturb you.'

'Zoya'

'What?'

"Please, come on let us eat dinner'

'I am not hungry, but I kept food on the table for you, go ahead. GOOdnight'

Her cold tone made him crash.

'Don't.'

His hurt voice made her look up to him.

'Don't hurt yourself because of me, I'm not worth it.'

'Kya?'

'I'm sorry for all the pain I have been causing you. I don't even know why we are in the position today. Please forgive me if you can and if not at least don't be unfair to yourself and put your health to risk'

'Asad there you go again.Why are you so obsessed with the idea that you're not worth me or that you're just like your father and you will hurt me?'

'Zoya, look at you! You have never been like this. I can't bear to see you like this. I cant bear to look at you and see what I have made you become' he said before tearing up.

'No Asad. We're just'. Complicated ' too stubborn to work it out. But that doesn't mean we don't belong together.'

'Please forgive me. I never wanted to hurt you. I'm just.. stupid.. and emotionally challenged' he laughed through his tears.

'Stupid Akdu Ahmed Khan. You know, I keep thinking that we're just moving further and further away from each other, so much that one day ''

'Kabhi nahi. Zoya, no matter what happens, aap jante hai, that I love you and I cant live without you. I rather fight with you than be away from you.'

Zoya sharply inhaled, and her red eyes oveflew with tears. Of relief.

She grabbed him and shoved herself into his arms, weeping.

'you're so stupid. You know, you had me going crazy. I thought that' I would lose you. I KEPT HAVING NIGHTMARES ABOUT LOSING YOU. I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME AGAIN' she yelled

'Allah miyan, whats wrong with you Zoya!' he said trying to make her laugh, but also in a stunned and angry tone.

Zoya didn't laugh.

'Listen, don't ever think like that. It hurts me. I cant stop loving you and I don't want to. I love you. I love you so much that I rather die than live through this month again. I feel I can finally breathe as we have sorted this out, and I could tell you that.. I love you. Please let's just forget all this and move on. Please just forgive me, jaan.'

'I love you too. ' she sniffled and he pulled out of her embrace.

Just then an alarm went off, and as they looked at the clock, it was 12 :00 am.

'Happy anniversary!' both whispered. Asad leaned down to kiss her. She pressed her lips hard against his, they almost felt foreign. Asad pulled away first, placing his hand on her neck. 'I missed your lips so much.'

She giggled, and jumped off the bed.

'What are you doing?' She went into her closet and took out a bag. With a smile, she handed it to him, ' I was mad at you, I wanted to scream, shout, cry but I loved you the same. I bought you this , Happy anniversary Asad. Our first year together. I love you. Its going to be hard but don't be tough on yourself. We're going to be together forever'

'Come here' he said and gave her a sloppy, slow that kind of kiss where its just pure love. 'Happy anniversary, Our first. It really was trying, but I rather have ten years like this, than one without you. I love you, I love you soo much. Hopefully it gets better from here, you know they say the first one is the hardest to get through' he said lastly with a laugh. She interwined their fingers and sat in his lap, placing a kiss on his cheek.

'I hope I don't make you cry this much again. I can't bear seeing tears in your eyes, especially when Im the one responsible for them. You forgive me?'

'Yes Asad, but you hurt me a lot. Don't you dare fight with me like this again!' she threatened childishly.

'Now you should eat! I know you haven't eaten, so come on'

'Im not hungry

'Zoya, stop starving yourself! We're okay now, now come and eat'

'Actually I reall y am not hungry. You can go ahead but im full.' She said. 'With you love' she added with a wink.

Asad smiled, ' Me too, actually. Okay well let's go then'

'Kya?'

And with that he lifted her into his arms.

'To our room. I've missed you sleeping next to me, jaan.'

'YAYYY!' she cheered childishly as he carried her princess style into his room.

He laid her on the bed and got in with her. Facing each other, they wrapped their arms around each other.

'How did we go a month without this?' Zoya asked amused.

'I really have no idea. But that was the first and last time.'

'Good' she replied.

Their conversation stopped as Asad got lost in her eyes, and a serious look overcame him.

'I.. love.. you. Mrs Zoya Asad Ahmed Khan. Thank you for being a part of my life, and don't ever forget how important you are.'

Asad, I love you too, and don't scare me again like this, where I end up thinking you will leave me. I cant bear it.'

'Shh, that will never happen. I will never leave you, I promise.'

Zoya, overwhelmed by the moment, kissed his forehead while he swirled his fingertips on her arm. He sealed her lips with a kiss. A kiss of reassurance, a kiss to make up' a kiss of pure love.

The rest of their night was spent proving their love to each other. Their kisses never ended, and I love you had become a chant being repeated. Both lay tangled in each others arms. It was 4 :00 am when they wished each other happy anniversary again.

'Asad?'

'HMM?'

'Youre awake! '

'No Zoya, Im sleeping'

She wacked his arm, ' Woh' I gave you a gift na?'

'haan bahut acche shirt tha. Thanks love.'

'Aur mere liye?'

'Kya?'

'What did you get me?'

'Oh actually, I am sorry, in all the drama I forgot to buy something' he said sheepishly.

'ALLAH MIYAN!' she yelled and was about to get off the bed. But Asad pulled her back with such a force she landed on top him.

'So where does my princess want to go for her second honeymoon? I couldn't organize for out of the country tickets within the short time, but I hope out of the city is good enough for you.'

'OH MY GODDD!!!! You're the besttt!!! I love you MWAHH' she squealed before showering him with kisses.

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