I am back to bore you, guys! I just had this thought in my mind and i wrote it down. Believe me. This time it has ended really bad. i don't know but it just isn't upto the mark. I wanted to write something but ended up with this. Sorry if not upto expectations.
|| Only If You Were Here ||
"How old is she, Sir?"
"About a week old."
"And her mother?"
"Doctor, Umm.. She.. She is no more."
~ * ~
"Shayna!!" I shouted at the top of my voice from the kitchen. Oh god! She is so bad at waking up early in the morning. Just like her mom. I wonder how, in any way, people would say she was my daughter. She was a ditto copy of her mother. Her face, her hair, her eyes, her smile, her nose, her lips.. Just everything. The way she walked, the way she talked. She seemed like another Taani to me. My other Taani ' Shayna Singhania!!
I put the sandwich I just made on a plate and took it to the room upstairs along with a glass of juice. I saw her still sleeping on the circular bed of hers. The blanket, which was supposed to be on her, was down on the ground. Her head was buried in the pillow and her hands were under that pillow. Hey wait! I was wrong then.. We did have something in similar. She did sleep like me. I smiled to myself as I kept the tray on the bed side table and went to sit beside her.
"Shayna. Get up, princess. It's 8 already. You wanted to wake up at 7 na?" I caressed her hair as she turned and opened her eyes a bit.
"Papa! Two minutes more. Please!" She searched for the blanket to cover herself but in vain. "Ugh! Krishna ji! Yeh blanket kahan gaya?!" She got up and sat on the bed, irritated.
I smiled again and picked up the blanket from the floor. "Yahan gaya! Princess, aap aise soyengi toh blanket toh niche hi jayega na?"
She looked at me, pouted and then again lay on the bed, "5 minutes more, papa! Krishna ji ki kasam!"
"Princess, It's 12th May, today."
She got up with a jerk, "Its 12th? And you are telling me now, papa?!" She got up and ran towards the bathroom.
I smiled to myself. "Have your breakfast, Shayna. It's on the table."
"Yes, papa!" she shouted back and I left the room to get dressed.
I entered my room and went towards a door. The door led to another room which was smaller in size. I went in the room and sat on the floor in front of the big portrait. "I miss you, Taani. I really do. And Shayna does too. She doesn't tell me but she does. I can see it in her eyes. Why did you have to go, Taani. Why? We miss you, Taani. We need you. We really need you." I cried looking at her.
1st October 2005, was the most sad yet the most beautiful day of my life. I got Shayna that day. My princess. But lost Taani. My love. My support. My life. That was 8 years ago. But I still don't know what to do, how to react when that day comes. I have never celebrated my princess's birthday till now. In these 8 years of her life, we never celebrated her birthday. And I hate myself for that. I simply hate myself. What is her fault in this? Why should she not be happy? Every year, I thought the same. But, when the time came, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't celebrate on my wife's death anniversary, could I? Even if it was for my daughter's happiness. How could I be happy that day? But at the same time, how could I be sad that day too? It was Shayna's day, after all!
I looked up at her again and spoke, "It wouldn't have been this difficult without you, Taani. It would have been so much more simple and more beautiful if you were here. You would have been the perfect mom. I know that. It would be so different if you were here. With me. With us. Why did you ever have to leave us, Taani? Why, why, why?" I started crying hysterically and buried my head in between my knees.
"Papa?" I heard a soft, low voice at the entrance of the door.
I quickly wiped my tears and looked at her and gave a faint smile. She came and sat beside me as I started to cry once again.
"Please don't cry, papa. Maa won't like it. She would hate it na?" She said as she caressed my back trying to calm me down.
I looked at her and nodded slightly. She was so strong. She would calm me down, help me out, always be there. She was my support system all these years. I was living for her and because of her. If she wouldn't have been there with me, then I would have been no one. A body without soul.
I looked back at Taani. "You love your Maa, hai na, Shayna?"
"Yes, papa. I love her a lot." She said and hugged me tight. I hugged her back. We remained the same way until I calmed down.
"Chalo, papa. Maa ke paas jana hai na?" She said wiping my tears. I nodded.
We got up and went towards the car, hand in hand. She sat on the passenger's seat while I drove the car. I put the brakes when we reached our destination. We walked towards Taani, a bouquet of red roses in my hand and a card in Shayna's. We stood there in front of her grave for some time. Shayna took the bouquet from my hands, sat down on her knees and kept it near the stone which had Taani's name on it. "Happy Mother's Day, Mom. You were, are and always will be the best" Shayna said as she stood up from her position and we headed back home.
Only if you were here, Taani. Life would have been so much more beautiful. Only if you were here.
~ x ~
Yeah! I know! That was shit! I am sorry! But i just wanted to write it and I wrote it. I am so so so so so so so sorry once again!
Like and comment if you want to.
If you want to read more stories by me (Shreya) or Shivangi you can check then out here:
Shreya and Shivangi's TaaRey Writing Gallery!
Thank you for reading, THIS!
Members Lounge
Seher Hone Ko Hai
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Current Affairs
