{Episode 319} The Dark Side of Passion: Obsession

Skip-worthy episode? Torture? The essence of our show mercilessly killed?

For some, perhaps. But not for me. Not from my perspective.

A/N: Read at your own risk.

The previous episode had left us with Yash calling out for Aarti...She enters the room now, aarti thaali in hand. What meets her eyes is not the sight of her suave and handsome husband...Instead she sees a hopeless disaster flailing his arms, trapped by blue cloth and buttons.

Bewildered, Aarti asks him what on earth he is doing, and her husband stops flailing momentarily to peek at her through the collar hole. A muffled, "Kholengi aap mujhe?" is heard, and Aarti begins berating him with fond irritation about how this was bound to happen if he didn't unbutton the shirt before trying to put it on.

- As soon as a glimpse of the flailing blue monster was shown, I started to chuckle to myself. Then when he stopped moving just long enough to say, "Kholengi aap mujhe?" I started laughing out loud. Oh, Yash. Gurmeet's hand gesture to accompany the dialogue made me laugh even harder because he reminded me of a puppet! 😆 As soon as Aarti turns to put the thaali down, he begins flailing again, in desperation to get the blasted shirt on properly 🤣 Oh, man.

"Aartiji, lecture kam dijiye, mujhe jaldi nikaliye yahaan se, mujhe ghutan ho rahi hai!"

"Aap hilna toh bandh kijiye! Rukiye ek minute!"

- And Aarti proceeds to help her hapless husband free from the confines of the fabric. She pulls the fabric over his head and Yash gulps in a lungful of fresh air. Thank God for Aartiji, he probably thought.

- Quite cute how Yash gestures to Aarti in order to show her his trapped hand, which she frees with a chuckle and a "Sorry!" Even cuter how once she does this, he extends his other hand, says her name, and simply waits...even though he could have fixed the rest of his shirt just as easily himself with his free hand. That made me wonder whether he had done all of that on purpose, to bring a smile on her face after disappointing her and the children earlier. Nonetheless, I also love this scene because it illustrates how Yash expects Aarti to help him out, even when he doesn't explicitly say so. He simply needs to say her name, extend his hand, and she will take it and pull him out of his shackles when he can't do so himself. Even when he might be able to, he trusts her and relies on her to be there for him...And she is.

"Baal."

- Awww. One word, and he looks up at his messy hair. One word, and she automatically reaches up to brush his hair back. I absolutely adore the way Yash smiles contentedly as Aarti runs her fingers through his hair and then gives it a gentle pat-pat-pat.

- These two are so, so, so beautiful. These simple gestures of fondness are infinitely sweeter than grandiose ones - the beauty is found in small moments of sweetness in the midst of the mundane. It has always been this way for me when I think of Yash and Aarti. I don't think of overt, in-your-face, contrived "romance" that is given a special time and a special location, with announcements from the show makers and the channel authorities to tell us, "Look! This is romance! Watch out and watch it!" When I think of Yash and Aarti's trademark of romance, I always think of the smallest things that come to us when we aren't expecting them. There have been several landmark episodes and story arcs that have been promoted very well in the past, but what made them even more special were the tiny touches and hints of the growth in their relationship.

- This little lighthearted portion of the scene made me think of the day when Yash let the haze in his mind lift the weight in his heart...that day when he saw everything clearly...the day when he acknowledged to himself that yes, he was in love with Aarti. Yes, he loved her. That day was also the day he visualized Aarti doing the most mundane things for him and his family - shopping for groceries at the bazaar, knitting him a sweater, painting with the children...The sweater portion was what came to mind today, watching Yash and Aarti with the shirt buttons. That, and the scene where Aarti tried to get rid of the dust in his eye. The same contentment was visible then, and it has probably multiplied manifold since then, every time Aarti has stepped forward to do something for their family. The brief flicker of peaceful happiness on his face was visible for a second only, but it was lovely. A very lovely touch.

Yash senses Aarti pulling away, withdrawing into her shell again, and he reaches out to stop her...He doesn't want this to happen again. But for his Aarti to be happy, he needs Aayu. And he is desperate to get their son back. A single clue, a single sign...He will trail it to the ends of the earth, he will go to hell and back, if it means his family will be complete and his Aartiji will smile freely again.

- And this is why I love Yash and Aarti, Gurmeet and Kratika. Their expressions immediately reflect the tension that creeps back into Yash and Aarti's hearts. The weight of the strain is visible in both actors' faces as Kratika turns, as Gurmeet grabs her arm gently, as they both look at each other and say their dialogues, living through Yash and Aarti's journey's lowest points just as they did with the highest ones. Even the smiles don't quite reach their eyes, conveying the apprehensions that their characters have at various points in time during this scene.

- Yash feels a strong urge to tell Aarti where he is going, that it is related to their son...But then he ends up evading the topic, choosing to cloak his words in veiled language. A surprise that she will never forget...I am thinking that Yash might have decided against telling Aarti his real intentions openly because she would have been worried more than anything else. And possibly disappointed if the "information" turned out to be something minor yet important. Adding to Aarti's stress is the last thing that Yash wants to do now, after all that he had told her after Aayu's disappearance...and ironically, what he ends up doing doesn't minimize her concerns at all. If anything, it is increasing her worry...

"Aur hum dono ek doosre ke saamne yoon hi rahenge...Hamesha ke liye."

- A lovely moment...prophetic? Or marred by the unwelcome shadow of irony? We will find out soon enough...But the bottom line is: I LOVE this little moment. The comfort in it, the love that envelops them...

- The change in Aarti's expression...She smiles to herself, nestling against Yash in the protective, secure cocoon of his arms...but that smile fades gradually...Sadness sets in. Or is it apprehension?

- Ah, yes. One more important thing. "Aap pe hi toh bharosa hai sirf, Yashji." That is how Aarti responds to Yash's request for her to trust him, to have faith in him to do the right thing. She reassures him. "I trust only you, Yashji...I have faith in you only..." Straightforward, from the bottom of her heart. A far cry from the day Ansh was kidnapped after being sent to his new school against his will. That day Aarti had lashed out verbally against Yash for not listening to her and Ansh. "I cannot trust you, Yashji..." she had said, frustration and pain dripping from her words. Today, even after Yash had lashed out at her in a haze induced by pain and anger, holding her responsible for Aayu's kidnapping, she trusts him...only him. I always had a feeling that deep inside, Aarti knew why Yash had targeted her and delivered verbal, emotional, and even a few physical blows to her, both after Mumbai and after this recent incident...My instinctual reaction was that Aarti understands why Yash responded the way he did. Even if it scared her, terrified her, frustrated her, a part of her mostly likely understood...I would like to see what another viewing of the show would do to that "first response" of mine. But in any case, it is amazing to see how far Aarti has come in this relationship. I only hope that she comes completely full circle in this regard soon. That is, if she hasn't already...A little bit more time, and we will know. I hope.

Aarti turns to Durga Maa for guidance when she has no other choice and no one else to confide in. Yash had teased her on the phone about doubting him, and now his phone is turned off. His reassurance didn't do much to ease her feelings of foreboding, so she begins to pray.

- I'm not going to bother wasting words on Paridhi besides this one point. She is a child herself. Vidhi tried to shrug off Paridhi's words to Aarti by saying "She says anything at any time..." but this is not an endearing trait anymore. Impulsiveness and outspokenness that comes out so strongly and so deliberately, to hurt people, are not endearing traits. Those two traits have long been a part of her personality, and they do not put her in a positive light. Sweet and cute when the going is good; meek and mute when she herself is in trouble; loud and harsh when something ruffles her hair. This is not good for a child who will grow up under her "care," and I sincerely hope she herself grows up soon. The poor baby. His "mother" still doesn't know how to handle him, and she's not willing to even acknowledge that anymore. Her "beta" is not in for a comfortable childhood, it seems.

- "Aap pe kaise shak kar sakti hoon, Yashji, aur main aap pe shak kyun karoongi?" The way Aarti says this, with a hint of "Oh, God, Yashji...Don't be silly, stop playing around" is rather telling to me. I don't know what to make of Yash's little smile before this exchange - my first thought was that he was teasing her - but I do love the deja vu that's happening here with references to the Aarti-Prashant-Nida scenario reflecting more and more strongly in certain ways with Aarti-Yash-Ishita now. References AND differences. As of today's episode, Aarti's faith and trust in Yash, her husband, are so strong that she doesn't hesitate for a second before shrugging off Yash's comment as one made in jest. She articulates her uneasy feelings to him instead, which he cuts off with a "Kuch galat nahi hoga, Aartiji..." emphasizing the first word. Once again, as of today's episode, the irony of Yash's statements seems overwhelming, since the tables are going to turn on him in a matter of minutes.

- The alternating shifts in focus as the camera films Aarti's prayer scene: I really like how Aayu is the first one who is caught in the frame next to Aarti as she stands in front of the murti, ready to pray. Then the focus repeatedly shifts between Aarti and the dance troupe woman whose face is covered by the veil - she is the "saboot" that Aarti is praying for, the link between Aayu's perpetrator and the revelation of this reprehensible act. The suspense was built up sufficiently well; for those who probably dismissed the dancer as a random cameo, this sequence, with the shifts in focus and the climactic revelation of her identity through the removal of the veil and Aarti's flashback, is very important. Even otherwise, I like how Aarti's prayer, words from a mother separated from her baby, connects to the dance troupe woman's earlier refusal to take the baby away from his mother. Fitting. And then there is the sound of the conch that can be heard (by the viewers) after Aarti finishes praying...

- Quick note of nuance appreciation: I think it is so fantastic how Aarti makes an irritated face after the dancer moves by her; she looks at the dancer again with expressions that read like this, for me: "Must you dance in circles around me? I have more important things to worry about, and I really don't care if...Wait...I recognize that face...I know you."

I have saved the last portion of this review for the Chamkili Saanp. That's what she reminded me of more than anything today: a flashy, desperate, snake in the grass...The serpent of hell, if you'd like. Hotel Blue Diamond is really blue and really dark - the scene was lit and shot beautifully to convey the mood of the place. The place contrasted with all the other shady spots and bars and hotels we've seen so far - Cafe Delight seems like a free park compared to this; the Blue Moon Lounge is nicer, and even the other "bar locations" were friendlier-looking than this place, which to me, seems like a dark abyss. It seriously made me think of a cold, cavernous underworld. Ishita seems right at home in such a place, with her Medusa-hair and chamkili-eyesore sari.

- One of the first things that caught my attention (besides Ishita's eyesore of a snakeskin sari) was the way the glasses on the table were filmed. They distort Ishita's and Yash's faces slightly, warping the images. And they are shown quite a few times. Interesting...

- When Ishita reaches over to touch Yash's shoulder, he doesn't do anything. He actually seems slightly impassive to me. Vacant, numb...or perhaps filled with thoughts and concerns of Aayu, Aarti, and their little family. Regardless, his expression remains inscrutable even when Ishita, taking his inaction to be a sign of encouragement (certainly not one of refusal, she thinks), places a hand on his cheek, murmuring "words of comfort" to him.

Without sparing her a glance, Yash removes her hand from his face. He doesn't need this right now. Or ever. Not from her. Dismissive. Cold. But she can't tell. She can't process nonverbal cues or gentle, respectful refusals. Ishita had mentioned drinking the juice "just to pass the time" - for Yash, that is all this is. He is NOT here for her. He is here for his son. Any time that he is spending with Ishita is because that time is linked to Aayu, his and Aarti's child. But Ishita lives in her own warped world...There's no coming out of it, is there? I think not. She slinks deeper into the abyss, pulling Yash with her, the "dawaa" as her potion to debilitate him so that she can "cure" him. The reason Yash needs a "dawaa?" A disease-induced delirium called Aarti.

Yash, having left his phone on the table (hooray for detailing and consistency, boo for Yash forgetting it AGAIN; I can imagine the look on Aarti's face if she had found out why it was "forgotten") and in Ishita's "care," stumbles into the hotel room, his condition growing worse by the minute.

- Spectacular acting by Gurmeet here - his unfocused gaze, the way he lurches forward and backward while trying to walk, his tone of voice - fabulous details, very well done! Assuming that Yash is indeed losing out to the drugs that Ishita put into his drink, this is a terrible situation to be in. And at this point, when Yash was seated on the settee, I began to think of the Teri Deewani sequence that followed Aarti's self-acknowledgment of her love for Yash. The contrasts between Aarti and Ishita have been numerous, depicted in many ways over the past few months, but this scene in the hotel room was essentially made more meaningful (and more tolerable) than I'd expected due to the feelings of deja vu I had while watching this the second time around. And now I can't get those situations out of my head.

Using today's episode as a starting point to jot down a few things...

Today, Yash is stuck in a room alone with Ishita, much like he had been stranded alone with Aarti in the rain that night. He had been unconscious then, and he is gradually sinking into unconsciousness (or so it seems from the episode so far) now. That night, he had been on the verge of suffocating in the auto-locked car; today he had told Aarti he felt like he was suffocating when he couldn't unbutton his shirt - Aarti helped him both times...But now, arguably, Ishita's presence and her obsession that revolves around him are the very things that are closing in on him, stifling him, even as she forces his shirt off of him. The walls are closing in on him, and he is locked in the room with the very being he should have been avoiding. Both times, Aarti wanted to accompany him; both times he ended up undertaking the task alone with good intentions and unfortunate mishaps occurring. That day, however, the rain and floods were unanticipated; this, on the other hand, has been planned, fueled by delusion.

This is all a game for Ishita. Her amused smirks when she tries to unbutton Yash's shirt say as much. She wants Yash, and she will get Yash, no matter what it takes. He is like a perfect trophy, the perfect man. In her eyes, someone as worthless as Aarti doesn't deserve someone as wonderful as Yash. Only she deserves Yash, and now that she is so close to winning him over, she isn't going to back down.

- In contrast, when Aarti found Yash unconscious in his car, her first thought after arriving safely in the shack on the outskirts of town was to make sure he was warm enough. She wasted no time in taking off his shoes, rubbing his feet...She peeled back his shirt and hung it up to dry without a second thought about the physical appearance of the man lying on the cot. He was her husband at the time, yes, but not once did her mind stray to taking advantage of him in his state of unconsciousness. She started a fire and began rubbing his hands, praying for him to open his eyes and regain consciousness - all she wanted was for him to be safe.

Yash tries to stop Ishita from touching him, even as the drug takes effect on his mind and body. He pushes her hands away roughly once, struggling once more. He feels, through the haze, that this isn't right. She isn't Aarti. She has no right to do this...But he can't push her away any longer because the world is fading, and he is being sucked into an abyss...and he doesn't even know it.

- This moment, when he pushes her hands away repeatedly, is quite possibly one of my favorite moments out of the entire second half of the episode. SO much is conveyed through Yash's gestures and his refusals...All I could think of were the multiple times he found himself drawn to Aarti but pushed her away from him...And this response to Ishita...Because his body, mind, and soul are now one woman's and one woman's alone...His Aartiji's. How far has this man come?! Brilliant, brilliant. As I said before...Fantastic performance by Gurmeet.

The way Ishita looks at Yash's body and face after unbuttoning his shirt is beyond disgusting. She seems so enthralled at the prospect of finally being this close to him, and that is repulsive. She had to drug him to get this far, and she is rejoicing as if her personality and wiles were what attracted him to her...as if he came to her of his own volition. Lies and delusions, all of this. She has no idea...no idea what the man is like. The passion beneath the calm exterior, which has the potential to transform into heated rage or intense love in a matter of seconds, is unknown to her.

But Aarti has seen both sides of that passion. She has lived with it, lived through it, and loved him for it...ALL of it. And that is why, after that night in the shack when he called out instinctively for Arpita, Aarti smiled through her tears and asked him if he was all right. That is why, after drinking bhaang in Mumbai, Aarti's radiance and inherent goodness drew him to her, without her consciously doing a thing. That is why Aarti stayed by Yash's side through his worst days and shared his tears as well as happiness. Her love was never a dark, destructive, lustful, egotistical passion. Her love is a passion that brings light with it, a light of awakening and rejuvenation and hope. Ever since Yash felt the full heat of that light, he has needed nothing else, because it illuminated him and became a part of him. He has bared his soul to Aarti time and time again, allowing himself to show her his anger, grief, and vulnerabilities. She knows him like no one else does, because he let her in...But what will this incident bring with it? I only hope that Yash will not end up lost in the darkness again...

Parting thoughts: Besides the usual duo (Gurmeet and Kratika), today the stars of the episode were the blue shirt buttons and the apple-imprinted water pitcher.

Thanks for reading! 😊

EDIT: Thank You Borna. That was a beautiful read. I did end up watching the episode.😃

Well...I was somewhat frustrated but while I was watching the episode again (yeah, watched it twice, and I'm planning to do so until I finish writing everything) I suddenly was reminded of something that made me feel rather overwhelmed...in a good way.

P.S. Such a sweet comment, Kirthi! 😳 Thank you for always being so supportive and patient...but you know, nothing can really replace the rush of emotions and thoughts that come while actually watching everything on-screen!

I don't know about other people and a different POV for them, Jyo...I'm just going to sit in my little corner quietly and wait for the week to end. Bahut "boring" hoon na? But what to do, this is how I am! 😉

Regarding Ishita and Yash...I am not going to get my hopes up, but you can get on the roller coaster of predictions and tell me how it goes! 😆 The little smile Yash gave during that scene in the hotel was interesting...I'm about to continue watching the episode so that I can finish this post up...Whether he is actually playing a game here remains to be seen. I'm going to stand in no-man's land until we find out in the episodes.

Yash-Aarti deserve to stay happy forever, especially after all that they've been through. I know better than to count my chickens before they've hatched, though, so I will continue taking this one day at a time.

Thanks for reading, Jyo. I'm off to watch the rest of the episode again now. Third time. Woohoo.

You're joking. 😳 You are, aren't you?

General discontent about PV has never been this high, Indu...And just when I was beginning to think that I had completely, completely missed the boat about the messages and relationship indicator cues being conveyed...you say that this is a masterpiece. After all I've read around the forum today...I don't believe you, seriously.

*sigh*

Thank you for taking the time to read this, Di. I do appreciate it, since this is probably an episode most people wouldn't want to think about, ever.

Edit: *takes a deep breath* I have had a little while to let the shock of this comment settle and fade...Sorry about the outburst, Indu! *holds ears* Sorry! The atmosphere took quite a toll on me for a while there. I think I'm okay now. Thank you so, so much for the extremely kind words! I'm still rather tongue-tied about this.

How the hell are cvs going to repair this damage otherwise?

We'll see, Lyra...We'll see. In any case, it's not like we have a choice 🤔 Keep hoping...And I will stay in my neutral, no-man's land until we get to see what is actually in store.