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Dwelling on the Details: Old Wounds and Healing
{Episode 315}
May 7th, 2013: "...like a hand print on my heart..."
Honestly, I really liked this episode. It took me quite a while to write this, so maybe this will be a one-time event. I'll see how the rest of the episodes go from here.
A/N: Good luck to all those who are feeling angry/bitter about this...I'm feeling sad as well, but my irritation with Ishita's characterization/screen-time aside, I am feeling a very strong mixture of sadness and appreciation right now more than anything, for all that was shown today.
*Disclaimer: Articulating my feelings about the current state of the show. That is all. I have no expectations from anyone, since we all have different expectations and coping mechanisms. This post is just to archive my thoughts for my own sake more than anything else.*
Okay. So, I've seen SO much general discontent with the way this week's episodes have begun - it's ONLY Tuesday, people, and Wednesday is usually the peak-drama day before the falling action unfolds. I know I can't stop the bitterness and frustration from setting in, but this is the way I am looking at these upcoming last two weeks.
Punar Vivaah - Zindagi Milegi Dobara is wrapping up. We have 8 episodes left if we're expecting things to reach some sort of closure by May 17th. I am not going to prematurely jump to conclusions, judge this "closure", and thrust blame upon the production house at all because I don't know what the next few episodes will reveal - and you know what? This show wouldn't exist without this production team and its hard work. There are shows that go off-air in 100 episodes. We are not in that group. There are shows that have devoted fans of the original premises who are torn between watching their favorite characters/actors on-screen and putting up with tracks that change speed so quickly that somewhere along the way, a once-coherent storyline turned into a meandering path with no discernible direction. Those fans are also torn between wanting the show to continue (for emotional investment) and wanting it to end (so that everyone can move on to better things). We are not in that group, either.
Punar Vivaah is in a bit of a unique position.
There are various viewers complaining about the pacing, the content, the "messages"...It is perhaps something of a natural tendency to project an externally-influenced reading into the dialogues and scenarios of the show - I can see why that is happening, too, and I feel just as sad about this as any of you, because I have also watched this show from Episode 1 until now.
But instead of letting the bitterness of the real world of TV politics get the better of these last few episodes, I am going to do something different - this is not different for me, but it might be a different view than most. I am going to stick to looking at these episodes through a "within the narrative" lens. Within the fictional world that the makers of Punar Vivaah constructed. It is a world that mirrors our own, yes. It reflects our world. But it is a universe of its own, in a way, so I am going to stay within that frame of mind like I have been trying to do for the past 15 months. Focusing on what we DO have is what I would prefer to do, because this is what we are going to be left with at the end of this journey. How you each, as individuals, decide to take this, is of course, entirely up to you. And I wish everyone the best because this is a tough time for all of the viewers who have stayed with Yash and Aarti until now.
Illusions and Delusions
Ishita eats up screen-time like no one else does. It has become more and more difficult for me to keep my temper in check as the days have gone by (kudos to Heena) because her thoughts, coupled with the music that used to be reserved for Maya Bua, grate on my nerves and hurt my ears. "Enough with the repetitive inner monologues!" we're all screaming, I bet. 😳
Tackling the Illusion first.
Ishita is on the offensive, taking the initiative to plant a seed of insecurity in Paridhi's mind regarding Aarti's affinity to the baby. By the way, Aarti has "named" the baby, but his "mother" Paridhi hasn't? Did I miss it? Because as of now, it seems like Aarti named the baby and Paridhi is totally okay with it, although she keeps calling the baby "Baby" while Aarti calls him "Aayu" from time to time. Please let me know, and I'll edit this space.
"Aarti kabhi nahi chahegi ke tumhe maa ka sukh mile. Kyunki...ussne apna bachcha jo kho diya hai...
- She reminded me of Prashant here. Not just the out-of-control Prashant who decided to force Aarti to choose between Yash and Ansh before trying to get her to abort her unborn child...I also remembered the Prashant who stepped into the Dubeys' house a year or so ago and proclaimed that Aarti would never find the happiness of being a wife to her second husband. How wrong he was. This mentality of his, which has been consistent since the start of the show - "If I am not happy, if I don't get what I want, how can I let others be happy and get what they want?" - came out more and more prominently as he felt Yash-Aarti-Ansh's happiness and couldn't tolerate it. Ishita is similarly projecting her own mentality onto Aarti, accusing Aarti of being the one who wants to "ensure that Paridhi never experiences a mother's happiness." We know Aarti better. Or, I hope we do.
- Paridhi knows that Aarti was the one who had convinced the family, even Prateek, to accept an adopted child...She mentions this to Ishita...But then when she sees Aarti speaking to the baby, Paridhi's insecurity begins to rear its head. I like the way this build-up is shown throughout the episode - the feelings of "what if...?" start to creep up on Paridhi slowly, and we see an expression that seemed akin to reflecting her ego being pricked by Aarti's optimistic comment to the baby about how "mummy will learn soon" and her offers to take care of the baby. Ishita has planted an illusion successfully - that mirage becomes more and more real to Paridhi, who is impulsive by nature and has a temper that flares quickly. Dangerous combination.
- It doesn't seem to strike Paridhi that Aarti is right. Paridhi herself had said, "I brought him home, but I don't know if I'll even be able to take care of him properly!" to which Aarti had promptly responded with a stern look and "Don't say that! You will learn everything with time." If it weren't for Aarti, that baby wouldn't even be in the house. If it weren't for Aarti, he would've been a lot sicker...and he would've gotten sicker still if she hadn't been there to take responsibility for him.
- Paridhi needs to learn, she needs to be grateful for what she has, and she needs to think about things for a while. She needs to think about that baby's welfare instead of her own ego, which is manifesting itself as insecurity regarding Aarti's place as the child's "Badi Maa" - a place which Paridhi herself had entrusted to Aarti. Paridhi is obviously not ready for a child yet. She needs time and assistance, which Aarti would be only too ready to give, if the "concerned young mother" would take a moment to step back, think for a moment, and realize it!
The Delusion of a Married Woman:
"Mere Yash ko tum phirse apne jaal mein phasaa logi?"
- Look at how delusional this woman is. She just doesn't process things! Her mind is stuck on one thought only: "Get Yash back." What this means, motives- and actions-wise, is beyond me, because this delusional obsession is abnormal. It has crossed limits, and it is appalling. That's putting it lightly.
- Only a few days back, when Ishita had tried to slither her way into Yash's life by attempting to spoon-feed him her halwa, Yash himself had in no uncertain terms told her to back off and stay away. "I haven't given you the right to stake a claim on me...Leave." he had said, in a clipped tone. But evidently, as this scene shows, Ishita thinks that Yash is stuck in a trap, some sort of web that Aarti has entangled him in. Oh, wait, sorry. He is about to fall into Aarti's web again. Well, Ishita is both right and wrong. Yash is fully, hopelessly, willingly entangled in Aarti's web - a web made of threads of love so strong that it supports them as they struggle to find normalcy even in the aftermath of tragedy.
Healing Slowly: Finding the Light
Things seem to be falling back into place for Yash. Prestigious business offers, a happy family...and his Aartiji is smiling again. She is so engrossed in fondling the baby that she doesn't notice a weary Yash walk into their room. He pauses, waits, and then, since he doesn't have the heart to disturb Aarti by pulling her attention away from the baby in an obvious manner, he jumps at the chance to make his presence known via a "conversation" with Prateek.
- So amusing how Yash keeps glancing over at Aarti to see if she is listening to him! All the while, Prateek is just like, "What's the need for me to be here? Just tell her! You're looking at her more than you're looking at me, anyway." LOL at Dishank's expressions here, and the way Gurmeet does Yash's characteristic "fallen-face" expression!
- Prateek leaves, and Yash is left to face Aarti's mirthful laughter at her Yashji's backfired plan to be discreet about talking to her. It is so heartwarming to see Aarti laughing with abandon - I wonder if she ever laughed or smiled so freely over the past few months. And as soon as Yash pounces onto the bed to sit in front of Aarti, the banter is back.
- "Bachcha..." Oh, these two. The spontaneous banter takes me back to that day when Aarti had provoked Yash by teasing him about her flock of "admirers" - similar reactions from both of them here, too. Both actors' voice modulation is so entertaining, with all those variations in the way they say, "bachcha...!" 😆 Fun use of the camera here as well, when "Yash" looks straight at the lens and talks about how "girls know how charming he is" - playing with perspectives for a split second before we're firmly back in the fictional universe. I love Aarti's fiery response to the mere thought of those "besharam girls" admiring her Yashji, haha. I was half expecting her to say, "Jhansi ki Rani bann jaaoongi!" but what she actually says provides a much more gruesome, albeit entertaining, image. She really loves her Yashji so much, as much as he loves her in return.
- "Bana ke dikhaiyye!" He issues a challenge, she doesn't respond, shifting her attention to the baby again. Irritation. "Aartiji? Aartiji...!" She looks up with an uninterested "What?" expression, ready to give him the cold shoulder and dismiss him for the night due to his comments about those girls (ironically, we know one of them is actually in their house, ugh). But as soon as she bids him a curt "Good night" Yash quickly turns the tables on Aarti and settles his head on her lap. No way he's leaving her after they found their way back to each other after so long. The baby can stay with Aartiji...and so can Aartiji's Yashji. Because they both need her. And she loves them both. (This is probably exactly what Yash had in mind when he had told her, "Aayu ke paas kaun hoga? Uski Mumma. Aur Mumma ke paas kaun rahega? Uska Papa!" There are also some more obvious throwbacks to that same episode, but I won't elaborate on them since this post is already very long! The entire "bachcha" banter session is a throwback, in fact, which made me really happy.)
- So beautiful, this moment. Aarti's surprise, expressed in Kratika's body language and captured by the camera, contrasts so sweetly with the contentment that Gurmeet conveys as soon as Yash's head makes contact with Aarti's sari. Beautifully done by both of them. I love the "what on earth?" hand gesture and the slight pursing of the lips that Kratika does, which eases into a smile full of utmost fondness. "Incorrigible..." Aarti seems to say with that tender smile, as her naughty, childlike, impish husband opens his eyes to catch her reaction.
- Yash's eyes close as he feels Aarti's hand stroking his forehead, like those times many, many months ago...He is at peace now, with her supporting him. That gentle smile of Gurmeet's, which I will forever associate with "Yash" is a nuance of his that I have come to adore so, so much over the past 15 months. It expresses so much of what Yash feels for his Aartiji - that sukoon that he finds in her arms is unlike any other, because she was the one who pulled him out of the darkness many, many times when he couldn't bring himself to move toward the light.
Aarti's soft voice drifts to his ears as she recounts memories of their first unwilling face to face encounters - truly, they have come such a long way from where they used to be when they decided to marry.
- One thing I would like to say at this point...this "then and now" moment could be read as "external" championing of the concept of remarriage. What is wrong with that? The way that it has been delivered here, thanks to the direction and acting, is seamless. It is not jarring to me, viewing this within the narrative flow of the scene, because, honestly, looking at them the way they are now, the comparison comes to mind very easily and all too often. Plus, Yash and Aarti are the ones who actually went through this punar vivaah, within the fictional world, and memories tend to sneak up on you at any time.
- As Kratika was voicing Aarti's memories, I found myself smiling, thinking back to those days along with Aarti and Yash. Gurmeet's silent smile of Yash's agreement mirrored my own. It is up to each person to choose whether to remember this punar vivaah with smiles or with frowns. I think the PH's labors of love, these episodes, these meaningful moments, which they are giving us instead of choosing to give up on their story to show us meaningless, contrived "happy ending" moments, should be given the benefit of positivity for now. But like I said before, it's a personal decision.
Cautiously, hesitantly, Aarti bares her heart to Yash a tiny bit. "Aapka mann nahi karta ke hum...waapas se woh...pyaar bhare waale...pal jiye...?"
- It is so interesting how Kratika expresses Aarti's hesitancy here. Aarti's push to infuse a bright-eyed enthusiasm into her demeanor that fades as she continues to speak; faltering words that taper off into an uncertain cadence as she hears no reply from Yash...perhaps wondering if Yash wants to try and let in a little more happiness into their world that is thick with fog, even as the sun shines...
- Yash, on the other hand, has already replied, albeit silently, nodding his approval when Aarti didn't look down at him. If Aarti sensed his approval, she wanted more than a smile - her facial expression is fabulous - conveying, through silence, the annoyance that laces the words she says a little bit later, haha. And equally funny is Yash's response to her abrupt tonal shift! I can't help but smile every time they have one of those moments where their expressions shift in time to the edited music. These two. I am really going to miss the precision in the directing, so wonderfully executed by Gurmeet and Kratika in their scenes!
"Jo badal garajte hai...Woh baraste nahi."
"Achcha? Toh main abhi aapko...baras ke dikhata hoon."
- Sarcastic smiles from both, expressions that hint at varying degrees of annoyance from both...And every time I watch this part, I end up grinning at the way Yash's put-out reaction seems to transfer over to Aarti's face as the scene progresses.
- What a loaded exchange there...Yash's reply had me wondering, "What exactly are you going to do, Yash...? Remember the bachcha!" 😆
- Tickle fight and hair-pulling! Who would have imagined? But then again, this is the PV-style romance, Yash-Aarti's romance, that I have come to love so much because of how unexpected and how ordinary it is. A little moment of lightness has so much sweetness attached to it because of that realistic, spontaneous quality to it.
- I really love how Gurmeet/Yash and Kratika/Aarti have merged so much by now that it is hard for me to tell whether certain mannerisms are "the actor" or "the character." These two actors have brought so much life to the characters. If the writer is the one who crafts the body and mind, so to speak; if the director is the one who "puts the soul into the character" (as Kratika said), then it is the nuanced actor who brings those aspects together and becomes the heart of the character...
- So when Yash and Aarti engage in a tickle fight and Kratika grabs a pillow, shoves it under Gurmeet's head, and pulls away, trying to feign innocence...I see two actors who share a fantastic acting partnership and friendship having fun with this scene, but I also see how far Yash and Aarti have come as individuals and as a pair, to be able to do these sorts of things, laughing freely like two close friends would...The off-screen camaraderie and on-screen relationship that was built up over the duration of this journey spill into each other, and that is just so beautiful to me, because the narrative organically grew to this stage with them (or most likely, they grew with the narrative, maybe a bit of both) and none of this appears forced.
- Yash rests his head on the pillow for a second, shifts position, then grins before getting up to close in on her...And Aarti instinctively knows what Yash is going to do. There are two shots here - and for once, I'm glad that they kept both - the first, which has more of Kratika-Gurmeet's uncontrollable masti than Yash-Aarti (Kratika's smile and "Not my hair! I'm sorry!"); the second, which has more of Yash-Aarti, the "proper take." The final closeup shot of the two of them on the bed merges the two, in a way, and we know that the laughter and vocal responses are definitely "Yash and Aarti," because we have seen them reach this stage in their relationship where they their banter can actually lead to unplanned things like this. (I love the last shot that fades to black, because it reminded me of Yash-Aarti's previous pillow fight in the children's room...full circle, for me, at least.)
Imprint...
In all honesty, this part with the Scindias made me cry, and I know it will make me emotional every time I see it. I couldn't stop myself from a double-reading of the dialogues here, as the actors expressed their characters' feelings about "leaving the house forever." I felt a connection to Vidhi/Akash/Radha, who all entered Scindia House at different times and under different circumstances...Newcomers to the Scindia parivaar, who became a part of that parivaar, much like the different audience members who began watching this show at different points of the story's timeline. I felt like equating SP, Pankaj, Prateek, and Yash with the showmakers and crew behind the scenes...those people who have worked so hard to create the story that we watched, working through all its "ups and downs" tirelessly, never compromising on the essence of the story that they put so much love into and are most familiar with. These episodes, their labors of love, have left a permanent imprint on my heart, and that is something I am very thankful for.
- Yash and Akash. Brief moment, but so nice to see, because Yash is the one who reinforces the power of the familial love that Akash had tried to spurn multiple times before, while accusing Aarti of "preaching" when her words rang true...Relationships of the heart form stronger bonds than those formed by relationships based on lineage alone.
- Maya is the voice of optimism and excitement, hinting at a new chapter of their lives...A new city, a new life, a new part of a story that is yet to be written for the Scindias. So far, I am fine with the way they are easing into the transition. This is better than the fate of other shows that are forced to make a discontinuous "transition" or leap to another time/place.
The characters I feel most closely connected to, without a doubt, are Aarti and Yash. We began this show from Aarti's perspective, saw her pain and turmoil...We saw destiny push her towards the man she was meant to heal and heal with. When Aarti finally left her imprint on the wall in silence, giving Arpita her rightful place and earning Yash's respect, she unknowingly put an imprint on his heart as well as mine.
- It is so bittersweet seeing that hand print exactly as it was after Kratika placed her hands on the wall to enact that portion of the scene. The little trail of liquid that trickled down the wall and dried in that position always stood out to me, and to see it again, preserved, brings back memories of that entire scene. That threshold, which Aarti crossed once during her grihapravesh, and multiple times after that, during many landmark moments in the show, is one that we will not see after a while...I also love how it is at this point in the flashback, when Aarti is crossing the threshold with Ansh, that we see Yash behind her...because a few moments later, in the present, Yash appears behind Aarti as she stands there looking at the house...It is a mirrored situation, except that now this is not just Yash's house and Aarti's new "sasural." It is Yash and Aarti's house. Their home, their family.
A few words about Gurmeet and Kratika during this little scene.
- I don't know if this was intentional, but when Gurmeet came out and stood behind Kratika while both of them looked around the set interior, I was instantly hit with a sense of deja vu. For some reason, perhaps it was due to his hairstyle and the roughness of his stubble, I thought of what Yash looked like during the initial episodes of the show. There was a certain vulnerability beneath the brooding, silent surface that Gurmeet expressed beautifully then, and I glimpsed that for a moment in this episode also.
- Kratika's reddened eyes. That really struck me, because her face was illuminated by the lighting and the faint redness was quite noticeable since her eyes are always captured so nicely by the camera. Her familiar nuance of wiping her tears away while brushing her cheeks...and then pushing her bangs out of her eyes. Things that are so very much a part of "Aarti."
- The silent communication. How could I not love this? I love this so, so much. The cinematography, the pathos conveyed through camera movement, the focus on actors' expressions, and the music...Aarti glances around, taking in the view of the house, which we see through the camera's sweeping arc across the set (such a loving directorial gesture), and tries to smile through the tears...Yash comes to fetch her, and he lets his gaze wander in an arc before setting his hand around Aarti's shoulder, offering silent support, giving her an understanding smile that she does not see but feels instead. Yash's smile, partial nod, and nonverbal "Time to go, Aartiji...Okay?" which Aarti responds to by wiping her tears and smiling at him - the sweet intimacy of this silent interaction is made even more powerful because of the way Gurmeet and Kratika's mirrored reactions, as Yash and Aarti, come into play - there is such a strong understanding between these two characters, and that has always been conveyed so well by the actors and the narrative as a whole.
Ripping Open Old Wounds
Another day, another scathing remark (that lacks the sting I would have preferred to see in a truly impactful-yet-entertaining villain), and the concerned young mother storms over to "Badi Maa-turned-Tai", who attempts to express true concern about the baby's well-being. Instead, in exchange for speaking sense from experience, Aarti receives an angry earful from the very girl who had, days before, been grateful to "Aarti Bhabhi" for everything she had done to bring the little baby into the house. It is another matter that the same concerned young mother had turned to the baby's Tai for help when she literally had her hands full with a baby she didn't know how to tend to properly.
- "Paridhi, araam se!" The baby is roughly pulled from Tai to "Maa" - and I was half expecting the baby to cry out, but nope, this isn't any old show. That was rather refreshing to see, actually.
- "Duniya ke saare bachche bimar padte hai..." - Is he going to be okay? I have my doubts, based on the way she completely disregards the baby's comfort when taking him from his Tai. The way Paridhi transfers the baby to her arms and starts her "mera beta", "mere bachche" declarations brings back very, very painful reminders of another (recent) show where an overpossessive surrogate mother constantly kept yapping "Yeh meri beti hai. MAIN Maa hoon iski!" day in and day out. Legal papers do not make a loving mother, Paridhi. Just like legal papers do not make or break a relationship, emotions do - Yash-Aarti's divorce incidents and the recent Akash fiasco are classic examples, but since those apparently didn't directly concern Paridhi, perhaps she didn't care to notice. Anyway...The look on Aarti's face as Paridhi says, "all kids get sick, I'll take care of him": Strike Number 1.
- "Ab Maa toh banne dijiye mujhe." - Strike Number 2. And some more stuff about "how long will I stay dependent on others, and why?" Who was the one who benefited from Aarti and Yash finding Mrs. Mehta and convincing her to testify against Karan Mehta? Who was the one who needed to depend on Aarti to make the baby stop crying? Who was the one who wanted to learn how to take care of the baby from Aarti? Aarti is trying to help. She has never wanted to take anyone's place. Not Arpita's, and certainly not yours, Paridhi. For all she knows her baby is out there somewhere, and here she is...Instead of crying and cursing her fate, she accepted her "mistake" and is trying to move on, as usual, by making her loved ones in her family happy. Slow down and think about that for a second. *sigh* Let's see what happens tomorrow.
- "Aap Tai hai iski. Maa nahi." - Strike Number 3. The look on Aarti's face.
- "Yeh tum...yeh tum kya keh rahi ho? Yeh tum kya keh gayi, Paridhi...? Yeh tumne kya keh diya?" - Strike Number 4. A wall is constructed in a matter of seconds, and the words inflict a painful blow. Aarti is left stunned, one question lingering in the wake of her devrani's bitter words: "What did you just say...?" The emptiness is back in Aarti's eyes.
- Ishita arrives to poke at the bruise, Radha overhears and reprimands her, but unfortunately, this has no effect on Ishita while it hits me straight in the heart...Strike Number 5. By now, Aarti's old wound, the one that had been healing, has been punctured again. The "ganda khoon" motif is back. Ah, so APT that Ishita echoes Prashant's words to Aarti from way back when. "Na jaane kiska ganda khoon hai woh..." This is actually a rather nice book-end to the episode. Reminded of Prashant both times the asteen ka saanp struck. Fantastic.
A voice, strained but laced with suppressed anger and pain, breaks the irreverent silence. "Aur khabardar...Agar aage se kisi bhi bachche ko...*pauses, with a slight tremor in her shake of the head* ...ganda khoon bola toh..."
- As soon as I finished watching the episode yesterday, I wanted to write about this scene. This part in particular. Such a powerful, powerful throwback to the Prashant-Aarti confrontation, as I mentioned earlier. Fantastic emoting by Kratika in this scene, especially when she shakes her head with tears glistening in her eyes and repulsion spilling from her gaze into her tone. In my mind I keep contrasting the dynamics of that early scene and this one, in terms of the text and the execution. I am going to miss the writing and these sorts of performances so, so much! But what a stirring full-circle moment. "Ganda khoon." Aarti does not know whether that child, the one she had just held in her arms, is hers. She has heard the same terrible words hurled at her before when her Ansh, her own blood (and that man's own blood), was accused of being "dirty blood." Even if this little baby is not her own blood, he is someone's child. He may have been abandoned, he may have been orphaned...But he is not full of "dirty blood."
- Radha mentions orphaned children a little bit earlier in the scene. As she does, Aarti is shown, raising her eyes to look at Ishita, lips pursed in a frown. And yet again, that year-old curiosity of mine, which will now probably never be sated by the skilled storytellers' words brought to life by their team, pushed its way to the forefront. Aarti was an orphan...How did she grow up to be the kind of woman that she is...?
Thanks for reading. Take care, friends.
P.S. I've edited this a few times, to add in words and correct typos...I think I'm done now.
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
