Should Sandhya speak about her inhibitions?

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

You all know that I have been very vocal about the fact that I dont feel Sandhya (atleast from whatever I have seen in DABH so far, that includes Aug 29th episode) is ready to take the relationship to the next level. I dont mind her inhibitions, her fears considering her age and considering the circumstances she was married and also the fact that she is passionate about her career.

But I dont understand her not opening upto Sooraj. She has inhibitions, she has fear isnt it time she spoke to Sooraj. If she doesnt want the husband wife relationship at this point of time I am fine with it. But it has to clearly come out in the show what is stopping her. Is it because she has still some reservations with Sooraj( I mean she has not yet accepted him completly, but she is unable to face this fact ), she has some other fear regarding the relationship, fear of pregnancy, fear of losing Sooraj or simply because she feels IPS is most important to her at this point of time and she is mentally not in a position to be a wife.

Whatever it is according to me she has to communicate that to her husband, I dont mind her raving and crying, I dont mind her pouring her feelings out, I dont mind her shouting at the demands placed on her by bhabo. But she has to do it. Because I feel once she speaks and gives vent to her feelings, together they will be able to address the issue for the benefit of both of them.

You cannot show this character succumbing to the demands of the society and being a wife or mother. It will not take them anywhere as sooner or later cracks will open up, when pent up feelings surface. I dont want that to happen in DABH. It is the most beautiful serial I have watched. I want SURYA union to be perfect with Sandhya and Sooraj completly accepting the relationship.

So what you guys suggest. Shouldnt the CVs show us the opening up of Sandhya. Also should Sandhya take the first step here or it is time Sooraj tries to understand his wife from this perspective and try to bring out the pent up feelings in her, just like he had done with her dream.

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UMDU

@UMDU

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

Nice post. Shruthi, I don't think it is Sandhya who is inhibited. Had that been the case she would not have willingly agreed when after coming back from Singapore they were planning to take the relationship to the next level. In Singapore also I found no hesitation from either side and they romanced Bollywood style. The problem started when Suraj got to know about Sandhya's dream and thought of it as a divine duty bestowed upon him by God to make her an IPS. Ever since that happened Suraj became reluctant and withdrew. Even in the Gaav haldi scene and during Christmas unlike you, I found no hesitation from Sandhya's side. I read her expressions as being willing if Suraj was ok with it. Suraj to my mind thinks this will distract Sandhya from her studies and there is a possibility of pregnancy. That being the case Sandhya alone can allay those fears. She can discuss with him about family planning as she is the more educated among them. Rather than going around and solving Duniya bhar ke problem, let them solve this problem first and become husband wife in the true sense . A long period of separation awaits them. Let them make the best use of this time. If Sandhya can take time out for problem solving she can definitely take time out for this aspect of marriage which till now has been only secondary to them.

Edited by UMDU - 12 years ago

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Fatima

@Fatima_Q

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

I don't believe Sandhya has any more reservations in terms of being able to open up to Suraj.

I mean I feel she trusts him completely now and they have very good communication, between them.

Sandhya already admitted to Bhabo in the mandir of their home that she has feared taking her relationship with Suraj to the next level because she felt it would hinder her from achieving her dream of becoming an IPS officer.

She didn't elaborate on this...but it might be a fear of pregnancy or demands of the relationship, that she may not be able to fulfill once her studies or training are at their peak. But this I don't understand...because precautions can be taken to prevent pregnancy, and thousands of women balance family, career, and even studies every day. So why can't Sandhya?

I also feel...she understands very well that her husband is madly in love with her and wants her. But he respects the fact that she has a dream and is willing to wait for her.

Sandhya is fortunate in this regard. In this relationship, I think Suraj has bent over backwards for her.

Edited by ummesulaiman - 12 years ago

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..Anusha..

@..Anusha..

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

Uma, you say that this is a problem for SurYa. But really it doesn't seem to bother them one iota. It's WE who think this is a problem.

And as for Sandy and her mixed messages ... just look at the very last haldi scene at Maasa's place. As he got closer, yes, she closed her eyes. But she had them shut tight like she was about to endure something. When it turned out to be just a cheek caress, she visibly relaxed. The camera stayed on her tightly shut eyes the whole time. 🤓 But then after that, she was again relaxed enough to make anyone think she wants to proceed. So I will not gauge this relationship based on her reactions. They are too flaky.

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Fatima

@Fatima_Q

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: PadBear
Uma, you say that this is a problem for SurYa. But really it doesn't seem to bother them one iota. It's WE who think this is a problem.

You're right 😆...they have agreed to a compromise to compromise their relationship...😳

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UMDU

@UMDU

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

I some how Anusha feel Sandhya will not object if Suraj proceeds, like she did after coming back from Singapore. Regarding the haldi scene that is a natural reaction for anybody doing it the first time. That level of tension is very natural. I some how feel if Suraj had indeed taken the opportunity she would not have refused. I do not think she will object if Suraj takes the initiative. That is my reading of the situation. She will not take the initiative, but will agree if Suraj does it. That is how it works out in an arranged marriage, the man makes the first move.

Edited by UMDU - 12 years ago

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

Sooraj is withdrawn. That is evident. But I dont see any effort from Sandhya for an open talk. Indirect signal is one thing. Speaking is another. I hope they speak and we get a real good episode 😊

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

@Umaji. That is my another key point. She will tolerate Sooraj. I have no doubt about that. She will find her own happiness because of his loving and caring nature.She will be a wife to him if he takes the iniative. But acceptance I dont see that in her Umaji😭😭😭😭 I want that and for that I want to see open communication between them.

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Fatima

@Fatima_Q

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: shruthiravi
Sooraj is withdrawn. That is evident. But I dont see any effort from Sandhya for an open talk. Indirect signal is one thing. Speaking is another. I hope they speak and we get a real good episode 😊

But what do you expect them to say if they've already settled the issue with a compromise?

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Fatima

@Fatima_Q

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: shruthiravi
@Umaji. That is my another key point. She will tolerate Sooraj. I have no doubt about that. She will find her own happiness because of his loving and caring nature.She will be a wife to him if he takes the iniative. But acceptance I dont see that in her Umaji😭😭😭😭 I want that and for that I want to see open communication between them.

I beg to differ. She has accepted Suraj. Not just as an obligation, because he's her husband...but because she loves him from her heart.

She just loves her dream too...and there in lies her reluctance to take her relationship to the next level.