[OS] Afterglow

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Ananya

@Anarocksick

Rocker

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

REMOVED. Should be updated on blog soon.

Edited by Anarocksick - 9 years ago

371

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GirlOfFire

@GirlOfFire

Voyager

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

👏👏👏

AMAZING!! This is sheer poetry! I don't even want to go into the is-she-a-ghost-or-isnt-she questions. I dont want to question anything. This has to be one of the most mesmerizing pieces I've ever heard.

Edited by GirlOfFire - 12 years ago

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greenMoss

@greenMoss

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

R.
Edited.

You have left me too spellbound to write something coherent.. So please put up with my rants..

The extensive and intricate imagery and the beautiful narration make the One-Shot transcend to the level of Victorian Romantic Poetry.

Visual Imagery- The whole story abound in beautiful visual imagery starting from the evening skies to the beauty of the woman.

The description of the makeshift stage with broken mirror pieces, gaudy curtains , etc. was outstanding. The delicate touches of the Royal Rajputana made it more heavenly.

I extremely loved how you described the sky at twilight. The line where you wrote that there was a riot of colours in the sky and it was a curious intermingling of the Spring and Summer sky was Great. 👏

The description of the beauty of the unnamed woman, which borderlines on divine beauty, was exemplary!

I felt like I could see every description you have written.

Auditory Imagery - The melodiously incessant sound of the Chhan Chhan that made Arnav reach towards heavenly bliss seemed very, very real in its description. This was the most important imagery after Visual Imagery because Arnav had followed her with the help of this particular sound.

Olfactory Imagery- The description of the intoxicating smell of the Jasmine in her braid, and the raw and the earthy smell of Sandalwood were Wonderful.

Tactile Imagery- The way Arnav touched her to feel her was very amazingly written.
The unknown lady also drowned in the sensations as much as Arnav did.

I loved, loved the line where Arnav felt that her dance was seducing his soul. Great.

The initial confusion of Arnav when he couldn't understand whether the Chhan Chhan was produced because of heavy payals or Ghoogrooe, is very relatable. One can always get confused like that.

I loved the description of her eyes, where the dark outline fades into hazel and the centre is again dark. This is the first time I have ever read such a beautiful description of the eye.

There is a huge importance of the payal in the story. This is the only link between Arnav and the lady.
It is by listening to the sound of this payal, that he pursued her and found her. The sound of the payal before the show and after the show told him about the moods of the lady. At first the sound of the payal was teasing and enchanting, then it was sad.
Finally, the payal was the only thing that she had left behind in the wake of her disappearance.

The unnamed beauty was enigma personified. She didn't divulge anything about herself and that makes it more intrigruing.

The line where she said that time stops at special moments was fantastic.

There is an undertone of unrequited Love which becomes more and more prominent towards the end of the story.

The ending is Perfect. There are certain questions that remain best, if unanswered.

Edited by greenMoss - 12 years ago

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anu41982

@anu41982

Explorer

Posted: 12 years ago

This is really an amazing OS..Loved it..

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Polkadots78

@Polkadots78

Inactive

Posted: 12 years ago

Beautiful and enigmatic..it was like reading a poem where everything is not clear on the surface but there are multiple layers and can have multiple interpretations..and a promise at the end..

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hot.cakes

@hot.cakes

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

Hey, hey, hey... Was she something like a ghost or spirit?

Too bad. Was he imagining her dancing or not? 'Cause the person in white backstage wasn't her, right?

Too curious 😛

Wonderful, descriptive, serene, natural OS.

Awesome, really. 👏

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ashw99

@ashw99

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

This was awesome too good.
Thanks.

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mishti_17

@mishti_17

Stunner

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

Oh my gosh.. What was that?? U transported me to some other world.. Not a happy ending.. 😒

A beautiful story though.. Loved it..

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Arati

@RTlicious

Inactive

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

Oh Wow! this was such a poignant story...i could feel the passion, desperation and sadness in the 10 minutes it took me to read it...truly an amazing piece of work!

The way you described Khushi...was truly breathtaking...even though we usually imagine Sanaya as the character, this description made me think of someone who was so perfect that it was hard to imagine how the woman would look...

You should write more of these...Keep it up!

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kondhili

@kondhili

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#10

R...

Will take some time but will come back to unR this...Don't mind😉

*************************************************************************************************************

Not going to lie i was so looking forward to reading the OS from Its complicated. Hence was a little disappointed when you mentioned it was a random idea of yours but after reading this awesome OS words fail me. 😊

Hai that was such a poignant and vivid tale that you had going around there. The description were so detailed as if the whole show was running just in front of me.

No khushi just an arnav with an anamika who comes and goes but leaves a mark.

We can debate was she ghost, was she arnav's imagination but that will destroy the beautiful tale that you have penned out here.

A very visual and gripping tale which i couldn't seem to put down once i started.

You should definitely pen down your random ideas more often cause they are so amazing.

Thanks for the PM.

Liza

Edited by kondhili - 12 years ago